The universe in her eyes
by Weena
Summary: COMPLETE- Legolas, Haldir and a human girl who came from our world..things get complicated when the two elves share a comon interest..the human girl,who maybe was sent to change the future of the Earth..
1. Here I am

***Disclaimer. I don't own any of the Lord of the rings character, I don't own the song lyrics, I only own Zana.  
  
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Here we are - we've just begun  
  
And after all this time - our time has come  
  
Ya here we are - still goin' strong  
  
Right here in the place where we belong  
  
Here I am -Bryan Addams  
  
A loud noise woke her up.. she didn't know if it was the sound of the alarm clock or an ambulance, but the noise, more and more unbearable, forced her to open her eyes.. astonished, she looked around her.. that wasn't her room, obviously.. the blue sky above her and the fresh air moving the grass were signs of "outdoors" and not a flat..  
  
"What the hell..? Where am I?" In the distance she saw a crowd, riding horses and making the horns sound.. or this she thought. Scared, she turned around looking for a shelter, but the most similar thing was a deep and dark forest extending towards the high mountains.  
  
"I'm becoming crazy, that's it "She ran, coming into the woods, feeling a bit more protected and, all from the sudden, she panicked.. was she kidnapped? Drugged? Where was she and what was that? It looked like a landscape extracted from a Tolkien's story.  
  
"Yeah.. someone has kidnapped me.. and now they left me here who knows why, I'm lost and I don't have any idea of where I am.. or maybe they' re filming a movie, or is the Army playing tricks on me" Her own whispers didn't calm her. She closed her eyes and put her hands over her face. The noise of the horses and the shouts of riders disappeared as they were leaving the field.  
  
"Thanks god.." She stood up and walked in a narrow path, and as soon as she walked some steps she heard a male voice that forced her to stop and keep still , more than ever before.  
  
"Who are you and what are you doing in those lands?" The stranger turned out to be a known person for her.. and she stared at him, so puzzled. He was taller than her, dressed in green clothes and with tight trousers ,a kind of shirt that covered half of his body. His blonde hair shining under the sun , his muscles in guard. No doubt, he was her favourite elf from the movie and the book.. she couldn't believe her eyes.  
  
"Legolas!" She shouted "My dream has come true!" She approached him slowly, but he suddenly took his bow, an arrow, and before she could notice it, something dangerous was pointing her. She stopped breathing for a while, shocked. Those things didn't happen on her dreams, where he was the nicest and sweetest thing in the whole Middle Earth. But the elf seemed to relax a bit, and now he looked at her in astonishment..  
  
"How come do you know me?" He asked in a whisper, his cold blue eyes staring at her.. she was a human girl, maybe 20 years old, maybe a bit more, he couldn't tell. She was very tall, slim with some curves, and the most strange things were her clothes. She was nervous, so nervous, laughing and almost crying at the same time, saying stupid phrases he couldn't understand . She looked lost, like if she came from another world. His friend Gandalf had told him that sometimes people from the future came to Middle Earth , people who changed things, destinies of people. But Gandalf never told if those people returned to their homes or if they were condemned to stay there forever.  
  
"Yes, definitely, they gave me some drugs, they brought me here.. yes, a TV program! One of those shows where they play tricks on people ..you look like Orlando Bloom and you wear an elf costume, but if this is a joke it's enough, it's already enough! " She was shouting to the trees, to the sky.. "Ok , guys! Stop this!" But she got no answer. Legolas stared at her, he was worried because she looked completely crazy..he was wondering how would he carry her to his home , because she seemed to be mad.. but fortunately for him, he saw how her knees failed under her and she fell on the ground. She had fainted.  
  
"Great.. silly woman..-"He whispered . "Lets go home".  
  
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	2. Spinning away

Disclaimer. I only own Zana and Merwen, nobody else, so don't sue! I also don't know any of the songs I put in the beginning of each chapter. Well, I hope this won't suck too much!  
  
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On a hill, under a raven sky  
  
I have no idea exactly what I've drawn  
  
Some kind of change, some kind of spinning away  
  
With every single line moving further out in time  
  
- Spinning away- Sugar ray  
  
I opened my eyes slowly, not aware of where I was ..it seemed to be a large bed with all kind of strange decoration, something I had never seen before.. faces, flowers, shapes in the wood that looked very expensive. All around me was luxurious.. no doubt, I was in a kind of palace. The ceiling of the bedroom was vaulted, like in cathedrals, painted in a soft blue. And, carved in the marble columns, the moon and the stars. I wondered if they shined in the dark. That would be nice.  
  
I tried to get up but my head was spinning, as if I had drunk two bottles of whiskey. Anyway, I managed to stand up and I walked towards the opposite wall, where a big wooden box was waiting for me. It had a lock, but it was opened, and I checked the inside. All kind of beauty products were there: shampoo, soap, gel, perfumes.. and in a corner, a small crystal box where I found some bottles filled with a blue liquid. I took one and read the label, that said "depilatory liquor" ( liquor??). Put it over all places where you wish to remove your hair forever". "Forever?! This rocks! I wonder what would people on Earth say about this, lots of persons would loose jobs, but this sounds great, no more pain with the wax!"  
  
The door opened and I jumped, scared. "I'm sorry, Lady, if I scared you" A kind of elf came in, she was wearing towels and a dress, and she put lots of underwear in the wardrobe " I came to give you the instructions if you wish to take a bath and put clean clothes".  
  
I smiled, and I felt a bit better. The idea of a bath sounded so well. "Thanks.. my name is Zana, so please, forget about calling me Lady. And you are.."  
  
She opened her green eyes when she saw my clothes, and she didn't reply my question, she just stared, astonished, at the jeans and the sweater.  
  
"What's this? Where do you come from?" She looked scared, but soon reacted. "My name is Merwen and I work for the king in this palace".  
  
"King? Where the hell am I? "I felt dizzy, and sat on a chair. I started to remember some of the stories I had read, and almost all girls who travelled to Middle Earth were sent to Rivendell.  
  
"So.. are we in Rivendell?" She laughed in surprise, and gave me a cup of a warm liquid as she sat beside me.  
  
"No, this is not Rivendell.. and how can you know about that place?"  
  
"I know everything about this world, because where I live they made a story about this.." She blinked, a bit confused, shaking her head.  
  
"I'm sorry ,I don't understand what you mean.." Her gaze was lost somewhere.  
  
But I wasn't in the mood to explain. I went on drinking and I looked at the dress. "This is for me?" She nodded, and she also pointed the wardrobe.  
  
"There you'll find all what you need. And you can ask for all the things you want".  
  
"And you won't tell me where am I?"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry" She smiled "You're in Mirkwood".  
  
"Mirkwood?!! Legolas home? King Thranduil? "She looked surprised, and nodded again. Ok, I needed to take a bath.  
  
"And you have to eat this breakfast because in one hour you have to be in the meeting".  
  
I became so nervous. A meeting.. with the king, the prince and who knows who else. .I covered my face with my hands. "I'm becoming crazy, this can't be real".  
  
Merwen left the room and I relaxed in the bath.. I used all products they gave me and stayed in the hot water for some minutes. My eyes closed, almost asleep. But my peace wouldn't last forever because my nerves attacked again, I had to get dressed and find out what the hell was happening there, why I was sent to Mirkwood and not to Rivendell, if the war was over or not, if someone destroyed the ring or if I would have to join the group like all the girls I've had read about..  
  
"But those were fanfics, are you crazy? This is happening for real!" My words didn't convince me.  
  
I wrapped myself with a towel and walked out from the bath. Of course, I didn't have my hairdryer, and I really missed it.. my long brown hair was so wet and I hated it. I stopped in front of the big mirror and looked at myself.. I didn't like what I saw, I wasn't the kind of girl for that beautiful place with the beautiful elves. I picked up the dress and put it on.. and when I looked again at the mirror something had changed on me. It was dark green , with long sleeves and it adapted to my body perfectly.. I was slim, more or less, but I had "latin curves" as they call it.. but with that dress I was a different person. I was happy with my height, anyway. .I was taller than average of girls and I could say it was the only thing I really liked of myself. .my eyes were dark, so dark, and my skin pale. A normal girl. But somehow I felt better with that wonderful costume.. or dress..  
  
I went out to the balcony, a nice white balcony made of marble too, and I stayed there for a while , to let the sun dry my hair. I looked in the distance and I only saw woods, trees and mountains.. and the big gardens under me where lots of elves were walking, talking or working.. I heard noises of swords, fighting.." I suppose they're training". And I looked at the elf- girls, feeling so normal and plain in comparison with them. Humans can't be compared with those beings.  
  
I don't know how many time I' ve been there but my hair was ok and I decided to leave and find out where the mysterious meeting would take place. I ate breakfast, brushed my teeth and left.. with a lot of nerves, of course. 


	3. Hidden in the halls

**Disclaimer: I only own Zana..the rest of characters and the song are not mine,of course..don't sue this laywer!(well,I'm not a lawyer yet..)  
  
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I can't feel  
  
I won't be ignored  
  
Time won't heal  
  
Don't turn your back on me  
  
I won't be ignored  
  
- Faint- Linkin Park  
  
I opened the door of my dorm, and I came in the hall.. strange design for a corridor, I thought.. pictures of elves, landscapes, hanging from the decorated walls.. it was amazing, something unreal. Everything was so different in that place.. I noticed a smell of flowers, but not the typical flowers perfume, something more magic that wrapped me and made me feel well.  
  
I tried to find the exit, a door that would lead me to a more crowded place. I had no idea. I chose to follow the right side and I walked towards a big window. When I reached the corner I turned and crashed against a tall man. I jumped and shouted, but he seemed to be calmed.. he was blonde, like Legolas, and he also had deep blue eyes. We watched each other for a while, I felt so confused.  
  
"I'm sorry, I was walking a bit absent minded and I didn't know you would be here.." He didn't reply me and I felt a bit angry. His lips moved in a despective smile, and he looked at me again, from the feet to the top of my head.  
  
"So you're the strange human who came from nowhere.. I'm glad to meet you before the rest of the group. Can you tell me what are you doing in this hall? My bedroom is here and I don't trust you enough to allow you to walk here.. there are no locks in Mirkwood and I want to make sure that you won't come inside my room without my permission" His words sounded so rude to me.  
  
I stared at him, half scared, half angry. He was arrogant and he was still looking at me with scorn. I moved and tried to walk in the opposite direction . " It's none of your business what I'm doing or not, and to keep you calmed, it's not in my plans to come in your room in the middle of the night, I have better things to do in my spare time". But he took my arm, softly and, at the same time, strongly.  
  
"We still haven't finished our conversation" His cold eyes in my eyes like two pieces of ice. I started to shake, against my will.. but I recuperated my strength soon and I moved my arm to liberate it from his. I was angry, very angry.  
  
"Listen to me. You don't have any right to treat me as if I was shit, everybody was so nice with me here and I won't allow you to act like this with me" I tried to look brave, but he still kept that smile, and his eyes crossed my body again, from the feet to my head.  
  
"So here we have a brave human girl.. you're a bit too tall to be a human, don't you think? And you're also strange.. yes, you look strange.." I couldn't tell if there was admiration or repugnance in his voice. Puzzled, I didn't know what to reply to that statement.. his deep eyes made me feel uncomfortable.. and all from the sudden I recognised him. .of course, how could I be so stupid? Now it was me the one who analysed him in surprise, smiling.  
  
"Haldir! You're Haldir of Lorien!" He froze in reply, looking back in astonishment. But how was that possible? Haldir had died in Helms Deep! And it was amazing, all characters were exactly like the actors, and that was impossible, I mean, the actors were real people, and I was in Middle Earth and they looked exactly the same! He was Haldir, no doubt about it, and he was taller than I could have imagined.  
  
But I didn't like his reaction, he put his hand over the sword and looked scared. "Do you know me? How come? Who are you?" And in that moment I had the feeling that he would be able to kill me at any time. His gaze colder than ever. I looked throw a window we had near, took a deep breath and watched at him again.  
  
"You don't know anything about me, but I assure you that I'm not a threaten to anybody. I was told to meet the king and this is what I'm going to do.. I don't know how did I arrive here, I only know that Legolas brought me, I took a bath, got dressed and I'm nervous, confused and right now, angry with you because of this kind of conversation. So.. if you let me walk.."  
  
"Wait" He whispered in a soft but, at the same time, strong voice. I held my breath while he stared at me. "I'll lead you to the meeting room. Come with me."  
  
He left my arm slowly and I walked with him.. thinking about this, about Haldir and his mysterious presence there.. was he still alive? The ring was still unknown? I realised I had to be very careful with my words and not say anything about future. maybe nobody of them knew about the war of the ring.  
  
"I don't understand anything." My voice was so low but, of course, he was an elf and he heard me perfectly.  
  
"What is what you don't understand?" His eyes on my face again.  
  
"Your presence here.. "His laugh surprised me. He stopped walking, and I stopped with him.  
  
"It's me the one who should have asked this.. I'm too curious about you to wait for the meeting. Who are you? What kind of being are you, who came into our lives all from the sudden? " His voice was almost a whisper, a charming whisper, and I felt dizzy.. damming elves.. so beautiful, so ...yeah, I felt like the bird enchanted by a snake.. the bird that it's condemned to fall into the snake.  
  
I tried to keep my mind apart from those thoughts and I went on walking, ignoring him.  
  
-"I have a meeting.. will you lead me there or not? " He reached me in few steps and we stared at each other, too close, in my opinion. He smiled arrogantly again.  
  
"I'm not afraid of you, you know? " But his smile was still on his face. "This is useless, Haldir. Please, lead me there and don't play with me. I'm -not- afraid-of -you."  
  
We went on walking when I thought I heard a "You should" reply from him. .I looked at his face but I couldn't read anything on it.. like always. Maybe I had imagined it. 


	4. Only time will tell

**Disclaimer:I only own Zana and the old man, I don't own the rest of characters, or song.  
  
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Who can say where the road goes,  
  
Where the day flows?  
  
Only time...  
  
- Only time- Enya  
  
When Haldir and I stopped in front of the huge wooden door my knees began to shake.. I sighed, and I tried to get ready for the big encounter. I was shaking from my feet to the top of my head, even more when Haldir put his hand over my shoulder. I looked at him and, to my big surprise, he smiled at me. Yes, he was smiling at me, I couldn't believe my eyes! It was a calming and sincere smile.  
  
"Don't fear anything" Whispered, moving his hand to open the door. With a move of his head he invited me to come in first.  
  
Lots of eyes stared at me.. the room was so big, amazingly big, rounded by big windows and hanging from the walls, dozens of pictures. In the centre, a large wooden table where the group was sitting.. and in the top , the king. He was a lot younger than I had imagined, with long golden hair combed like Legolas' one, and his blue eyes were even colder than Haldir's ones.. but he smiled kindly and showed me my seat.  
  
"I'm glad that you came, we were waiting for you.. we have some things to talk about, so your visit wasn't expected.. my good friend Gandalf will help you to understand events better."  
  
I watched at the magician, dressed in.. white?? Then.. I had arrived after the war of the ring, when he was already Gandalf the White.. but then.. why was Haldir there? I looked at him with curiosity, and he looked back with an interrogative gaze. I shrugged and he frowned. I sat beside Gandalf, confused. On my left, the King, and in front of me, Legolas. I blushed under his gaze when I greeted him back. I looked at the rest of people, Aragorn was there too, together with Gimli. And then everybody was unknown to me. I wondered where the rest of the fellowship were.  
  
"Merry and Pippin will arrive tomorrow" Whispered Gandalf, reading my mind. I was puzzled and stared at him.  
  
"How did you know...?"I asked, and he smiled and went on smoking in that strange machine that looked like a cigar.  
  
"I know lots of things, Lady. But don't be afraid, you'll find out many interesting events here."  
  
Legolas was staring at me all time the king spent commenting some palace business with the group. His gaze made me nervous, but not in the same way as Haldir made me nervous.. that was different.. after all, in the Earth I used to dream about him night and day. I blushed deeply when I remembered this.  
  
"You didn't tell us your name" He asked me in low voice, but the elfish ears of the king also heard the question.  
  
"Legolas, it's me the one who makes the questions" he looked at me "So.. you're..?" All eyes over me again.  
  
"Zana.. well, ,it's not my real name, mine is Suzana, but my friends thought that it would be better to use a shorter name.."  
  
"Lady Zana" the king continued. "Tell us about your life and arrival here.. but be brief, please". A smile came to his lips and the group laughed.. were they kidding maybe? Or laughing at me? I felt so uncomfortable, sure they thought I was completely crazy ,that I had invented a story.. what if neither of them would take me seriously? Haldir, sitting in the opposite side of the table smiled arrogantly again. Aragorn was serious, and this encouraged me a bit. And Legolas. .I couldn't read on his face, he was like a stone when he watched at me.  
  
I decided to be brave for once and said so sharply. "When you'll stop laughing I'll begin" All elves shut up and apologised. I smiled proudly. "Well, I don't know where to start.. I'll be brief and I'll begin in the moment I arrived in Middle Earth.." I told the events exactly as they happened.. and Gandald was nodding and smiling all time.  
  
"And why do you know all our names?" Legolas asked, a bit suspicious, and I looked at him directly.  
  
"In my world, a man called Tolkien wrote a story about the War of the Ring and all of you.. this story was interpreted by actors and actresses in a kind of play called movie. But the thing that most surprises me is that you all, without exception, look exactly like the people from my world who played your roles, how is it possible?" I looked at Gandalf, who put a hand in my arm and asked me to wait.  
  
"You have to meet someone" his eyes ,shining, and his smile, full of mystery. "Come in, my friend."  
  
In reply to his words, an old man came in, dressed in dark clothes like some of the elves I had seen there, but he was human. His grey hair and blue eyes reminded me of someone.. he approached the table, said a hello and he smiled at me.  
  
"Well, well.. so now it was your turn to come.. Since I arrived here, only two persons from the Earth managed to find the entry to Middle Earth, only very special people can do it."  
  
"Please, someone explain me what am I doing here" I begged, almost crying, I couldn't bear that any more.  
  
"Don't be afraid, here you're safer than in any part of your world" Legolas tried to calm me, and his words showed curiosity, as if he couldn't believe that I was really scared.  
  
"Of course.. and now listen to me" The old man sat somewhere in the table." I came here when I was just a young boy, and I found again the door to our world.. but before leaving I shared something with these people.. I joined them in the War of the Ring, as a kind of journalist.. and I brought this back to the Earth where a good friend of mine wrote a story about it.." I was starting to understand a bit.. why he "created "the languages, the races.. they already existed in the past! And that man was explaining that it happened before the dinosaurs came to Earth.. but.. why had that disappeared? When did magic, and magical creatures , leave Earth? When did the world change so much? This man was friend of Tolkien and he lived those events and then Tolkien wrote them again? I had too many questions to ask inside my head, and I thought I had heard Gandalf saying "only time will tell".  
  
"I feel dizzy" I whispered, but all elves heard me. Haldir frowned and started a speech with an arrogant voice.  
  
"All of this is new for you, but believe me that it can't be compared with the war we all lived, so don't give so many importance to yourself, girl." All people watched him.  
  
"Haldir!" Gandalf's voice crossed the air and made him freeze, and then, apologize." Don't talk so fast, Haldir.. you should be more understanding than nobody else here.. magic saved you once, remember? And now magic brought Zana here, and this means something. If it wasn't for magic, you wouldn't be here right now, elf. "  
  
"That's it!" I shouted. "He had died in Helms Deep!"  
  
"Magicians have the power to return life to 5 persons during the eternity heroes who really deserved to go on living and who shouldn't have died in a moment.. when the battle of Helms Deep ended, I found the body of Haldir under one of the towers, and magic came to me without thinking, and that pointed that Haldir would survive because he still had lots of things to make in his immortal life.. Destiny chose him, he must be special so I hope his behaviour will show that he really deserves it" Gandalf looked at him and he nodded.  
  
The King suddenly asked me." By the way, Lady Zana.. what does "Suzana" mean?" I supposed he was asking me for the meaning of my name, those typical superstitions that say that a name can make a person be different just because he/she has this name.  
  
"Well.. I think my name means "white lily"" when I said this, al members shouted "is the person!". I was surprised, I didn't understand anything. Gandalf nodded, and the King looked at him.  
  
"How did you know it, Gandalf?"  
  
"Know what?" I asked, in desperation again.  
  
"I told you that a white lily would come and change the destiny of things, and none of you believed me."  
  
"Because we thought you were talking about a flower!" Shouted Legolas. " Then.. she's the person.." His blue eyes staring at me in a way that made me blush and blush." But she can't be the one who will change it, Gandalf.."  
  
"Hey, this is a bit despective from your part!" I shouted, because I didn't like the way he said this. In that moment the whole room was full of voices, shouts and complains.. I only was able to hear Gandalf talking to me.  
  
"Something important is coming, we must protect you and keep you here and safe, big changes are coming and you're essential for them" He pointed Legolas, Haldir, Gimli and Aragorn " But they still can't understand, they still don't know the dimension of this mission."  
  
"Which mission? What are you talking about?" I was shaking now, I felt so lost and small, almost nobody there liked me, they treated me as if I was a horrible human with evil intentions." I'm just a human being.." I whispered, but Gandalf made a movement with his head and he became serious.  
  
"No one can tell exactly, but one of the presents here will join his destiny to yours.. his life united to your life forever.. he will be where you will be, and vice versa.. we have to be ready for the events that are coming.." He looked some point in the walls, his gaze lost..  
  
"But.. but.. why are they exactly like the actors? Who can explain me it?" I was almost shouting, and Gandalf smiled again.  
  
"Do you believe in reincarnation?" He left the room, smiled once more and I stayed there, in the middle of the verbal battle.  
  
The King stood up, angry "The meting is over then! I see you're all impossible to deal with, so if Gandalf leaves it means that enough things are already explained. You all can leave. Now!"  
  
Legolas stood up too, together with Aragorn, Gimli and Haldir.  
  
"Can I say something?" My voice sounded so shy. But they waited for me to talk, looking with attention. "I don't understand anything of this.. what is supposed to happen now? What do I have to do? What?! I'm lost nowhere.."  
  
The King talked kindly and softly to me. "You're my guest here, an important person as Gandalf said. We'll protect you and give you all what you need. My son and Haldir will be in charge of you."  
  
The two elves looked upset, and I felt so bad.. I was a problem for them and neither of them wanted my company. Definitely, that was so different from all the fancics I had read.. I had travelled to the place of my dreams but I felt like in a nightmare.  
  
"You'll be distracted.. tomorrow Aragorn leaves to Rivendell again, where his wife waits for him.. so we'll make a bid goodbye dinner and a dance for him. The hobbits are coming too, they will be nice with you. And Gimli here, he will also offer you his kindness" I looked at the dwarf and at first, I didn't believe in the King's words. But then the small man smiled and somehow I felt better. And the king left with the rest of people, except Haldir and Legolas, who looked at each other.  
  
"Well, Zana" Legolas came near to me "I have some business to solve now, you can come with me if you want. I'll show you the palace, the gardens.." His voice sounded indifferent, I felt insignificant, he didn't care about me, that was a mess.  
  
"I don't want to cause problems to you, I can spend time alone" My voice sounded sharp, and Haldir laughed. "In addition, I don't think that Haldir would wish my company the rest of time I'll spend here. And you, Legolas, I imagine that, as a prince, you have millions of things to do. "Haldir went on laughing and that made me incredibly angry. I looked at both of them and left the room quickly. I wanted to go back home.. it was amazing, during months, my biggest dream was to end up in Middle Earth with those people, meet Legolas.. but nothing was what I had expected.. I was alone in a place where the only distractions were walking in the gardens and staying in my room.. how the hell would I spend my spare time? I felt terribly alone.  
  
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"Haldir, what happens here?" Legolas was mad at that Lorien elf "Why were you treating her like this in the meeting?"  
  
Haldir smiled "Come on, Legolas.. don't be so innocent.. you know what happens when those people come from Earth.. remember the previous ones? They think they're the centre of the universe and that we're here to make their lives happy and funny, but they must learn that things hear are not like in fantasy tales, we fought a lot of time for bringing peace here, nobody gave us anything for free.. Galadriel warned me about something.. that the invitation I would receive from Mirkwood would change things in my life.. but I won't allow this simple mortal to make it.. I don't know what Galadriel wanted to say with her words, but be sure that my destiny won't join the destiny of Zana."  
  
Legolas was staring at him, puzzled. He took a deep breath before talking " Do you really think that it's your destiny the one that will join hers? Are you sure?"  
  
"Galadriel is never wrong, Legolas." Haldir was acting in a strange way.  
  
"What if the meaning of her words was different?" Haldir denied it. "Well, Haldir. .I suppose it could be logic.. you came from Death again, you came to Mirkwood.. but there's something I don't understand. Why, if your destiny is hers, she didn't appear in Lorien? "  
  
"I don't know, but Galadriel is wise, she can see things even better than Gandalf. We must wait, only time will tell it. " And suddenly, he observed Legolas. "What about you?"  
  
"What? "Legolas asked in surprise, as Haldir approached him with his typical smile.  
  
"And I don't understand your attitude towards her.. you seemed to be a stone" Legolas smiled.  
  
"I know, Haldir. The truth is that I share your opinion about those mortals who end up here, but I disagree with the treatment you gave her.. we must be kind, not only strict.. when things that have to happen will happen, then she will return to the place where she came from, so don't make her life here impossible during this time."  
  
"And do you realise what are you saying? One of them will leave with her!" Haldir was almost shouting.  
  
"You can't know it, wait a bit before judging! Maybe she's not destined to leave ". Legolas looked coldly at him.  
  
"And what do they mean with joining destiny? I won't ever fall in love with her!" – Haldir was becoming really mad.  
  
Legolas laughed out loud "So this is what worries you, my friend? Gandalf didn't say anything about love. And love can' t be forced with magic, the prophecy is not related with heart, I mean, it can be anything.. maybe she will be like a sister or a helper for some of us, someone who will make our lives easier.. and you know that elves and humans can't be together.."  
  
Haldir jumped "Legolas! And Aragorn? Aragorn married an elf and she gave up immortality for him".  
  
"But Aragorn lived all his life with elves and he's a king.. Zana is totally unknown for all of us. "  
  
They both looked at each other ,a bit more convinced. And then Legolas left the room. Once alone in the halls, he looked throw a window, worried.. And he saw Zana walking in the gardens.. his elvish eyes caught her shape, tall and slender. "Those eyes.." He whispered, thinking about the first time he saw this colour in the eyes of a person.. the day before. Never dark eyes visited Mirkwood and he only knew about green, blue, violet or grey." She has the universe in her dark eyes."  
  
At the same time, Haldir stayed alone in that room, and sat again. He covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath. "Please, Galadriel.. your words must have a different meaning.. a mortal and an elf.. this is impossible." 


	5. Stress and elves

** Disclaimer: you know, I don't own any of the LOTR characters, neither the song, I only own Zana And this chapter is dedicated to my first reviewer !(Thanks, Judith3!!! *******************************************  
  
Sun in your eyes  
  
The heat is in your hair  
  
They seem to hate you  
  
Because you're there  
  
- Wonderful life- Black  
  
I left the room lost in anger, after living what I had lived during some minutes, I definitely admitted that things would be a lot more complicated for me than I could have ever imagined when I was all day dreaming of Middle Earth.. how could that be like this? How could be that place so.. "real"? No romance, no magic, just busy people and a girl giving extra work.. a journey to the past that seemed to be a journey to a high school where the most popular boys made my life impossible.  
  
I looked for an exit and, in the end of the hall, I found a big balcony that led to the gardens, where some elves were walking peacefully. .I followed them and finally breathed fresh air.. the beauty of the place kept me breathless.. never before had I seen such a wonderful site.  
  
Some elves looked at me with curiosity, another ones sent me kind "hellos".. I felt so small in that world.. I decided to take a path that ended in a kind of forest, with tall thin trees, the tallest ones I had ever seen.. I turned around to watch at the palace once more, majestic, impressive.. and what was that? Someone was looking through a window? Well, it could be anybody.. I went on walking and I heard the sound of water, probably a river.. the closer I was, the louder the noise was.. yes, now it was a noise.. I gave the last steps and I stopped, amazed. "oh my god!" I crossed a kind of arc with blue flowers and I saw a high cliff from where a waterfall was drawing the stones.. a green lake, light green that glittered under the sun, and a river that was born inside it and that made a curve to loose itself inside the woods.. a wooden bridge crossed this paradise.. I walked again and remained still, quiet, finally in peace.  
  
"Finally I found you" His voice frightened me at first, and I turned around to meet Gandalf, who approached with a kind smile. " I won't steal you too many time, Zana.. I just wanted to calm you down and explain you anything you wanted to ask me.."  
  
"There are too many things to ask Gandalf, and I' m afraid I won't find the answers here.. I mean, I just want to go back home, this is not my place.."  
  
"Your place will be where your heart will want to be, girl "His blue eyes lost in the green water. "And your heart is not decided yet.. I don't think you belonged to your world neither.. I can't see the peace inside you.. neither love.."  
  
I felt that statement like a knock in my stomach. .I had a boyfriend on Earth, and I thought I loved him.. but since I had arrived there, that was the first time his face came to my head. I had completely forgotten about him.  
  
"It's true. .here it seems I lost all my feelings.. I can't feel love.. something erased it from my heart, is this a kind of witchcraft? Tell me!" My eyes were full of tears. I was a different person, changed inside.. and I didn't know when did something switch in my brain, because I had arrived few hours ago.  
  
"Walk with me to the palace.. lunch will be served very soon" He took my arm and we started our walk back to the building. He looked lost, speechless.. but he knew exactly the words he had to say, because his expression changed with the speed of light. "Zana.. you are afraid, you feel alone.. but you must forget those bad feelings, believe me that something great is waiting for you.. maybe all your beliefs and ideals will change after it will happen.. and you won't perceive it unless the good sense returns to you.. don't feel anger, because it makes your judgement cloudy.. someone from here will join your destiny and neither of them can imagine how important you are.. be strong. Don't pay attention to the arrogant words, or to the indifference.." Yeah, he read my minds about Haldir and Legolas "Just be yourself and enjoy. Your heart is strong enough to find the correct way.. follow him, girl."  
  
My head was so full of doubts and questions, that I didn't know where to start. But I selected the subjects that were driving me more crazy. "So the actors from my world, who played those characters in the movie.. they were those ones in their past lives? But then.. this means that, if reincarnation happened.. all of them died.. well, of course Aragorn will die, also the hobbits.. but Haldir, Legolas.. well, how did they die? Because elves are immortal, they only can die in a battle or.."  
  
"If they hearts break because of love.." Gandalf ended my phrase, and this made me so confused.  
  
"So there will be a war again and they both will die there.." I was thinking and thinking, trying to imagine how come, after the war of the ring, that wonderful place could begin a new hell.  
  
"Zana, I didn't say anything about they way they will die.." Gandalf whispered with mystery.. " No one can tell about such a distant future , girl.. but maybe your journey here means something, maybe you'll be able to change the future and when you'll come back to your world, things will look completely different.."  
  
"What do you mean? That all the future of my world is in my hands?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Gandalf stopped and looked at me.  
  
"Dear Zana.. I can't tell you more than you should know.. but I strongly believe that the reason for your journey was to change the past in order to get a better future.. something destroyed this world and ended when your world began.. you called it the Big Bang.. if our two worlds joined ,future in the Earth would be so different, things would be a lot better because we, the ones who have the magic, the powers, can control evil things.. I know your world is half destroyed, hunger, war, pollution.. what if you were sent here to join both worlds?"  
  
I felt so dizzy that I couldn't breath, I had to sit in the grass and the magician looked at me, worried.. " But I can't do such a thing, I'm a simple girl.." My whispers leaded me to the tears.. but I reacted soon, stood up again and faced Gandalf. "Tell me who were the other two persons from my world who came here" My voice was sharp and decided. Gandalf sighed.  
  
"Well, if you keep the promise that you won't spread this ,I'll tell you.. I'll trust you because although I still don't know you, I can notice that you belong to the good side" He smiled kindly.  
  
"Of course I promise you" I couldn't wait more for his answer.  
  
"One of them came when he was just a little baby.. he was found inside a palace, and the man who lived there adopted him as a son, and nobody ever knew that he's not his legitimate son.. but he grew up and became an extraordinary man, better than anyone else here.. his destiny was to be the King of Gondor.. Aragorn was the first, Zana. " Whit those words I was shocked.. it seemed that every time the magician opened his mouth, he shocked me.  
  
"An.. And the second?" I wasn't able to speak. Gandalf went on walking towards the palace and I joined him. He was silent all time, and I kept waiting. When we crossed the big hall ,and took the direction that led to the dinning room, he finally took a deep breath and spoke.  
  
"The second one was Eowyn. If they both had remained in your world, if neither of them had found the entry to this world.. things would have been so different for them.. because in the Earth, they were destined to marry.. but in this world only Eowyn kept her feelings towards him.. and he fell in love with an elf.. don't look so shocked, Zana.. we'll meet a lot of people inside, who are waiting to meet you.. be strong, remember. Your heart will find the way. Aragorn and Eowyn found their own path and the same will happen to you."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------  
  
The dinning room was full of people who were already enjoying lunch around the tables.. each table had space for six people, and seats were assigned previously, so that over the dishes there was a paper with a name written.  
  
Legolas looked at the door, as Zana was entering with Gandalf. Haldir, sitting next to him, also did the same, and then they looked at each other, waiting for the other's reaction, and Haldir was the first who spoke.  
  
"Well, Legolas.. I think that for this time we won't have to deal with this girl.. this table is already full and the paper on your right says that Gandalf will sit there.. "He smiled with irony, but Legolas didn't reply. He knew that his father would fix that little mistake and he would put the girl with both of them.  
  
Zana walked in front of them, trying to look indifferent. Both elves followed her with their sights, dressed in those clothes, with her hair combed like that, she looked more like an elf than like a human. She was taller than most of human women and she walked silently and elegantly.. not noisy, like Aragorn or Faramir. But the thing that most called their attention were her eyes.. all the beings they had known during their lives had blue, green, grey, violet or even red eyes.. but never before they had seen almost black eyes.. everybody stared at her in surprise, they couldn't help keep watching her because they could say that universe was inside her bright eyes.. In Zana's world those eyes weren't anything special, but for elves they were something amazing. Her hair was brown, almost light brown, under the sun, blonde reflects could be noticed, and its colour changed depending on the light.. all those details, not important on Earth, were a nice phenomenon there.  
  
Legolas felt a beat on the ribs. Haldir smiled at him "Come on, Legolas.. admit that she caught you."  
  
"I would say that she caught you first.. and no, I wasn't staring at her with this intention. My interest is not a romantic interest, Haldir. You know that her appearance is uncommon and all the room was looking at her, not only me."  
  
Haldir had to agree with him. "Anyway" he said "she's nothing if I compare her with all the elf-girls" He looked at his dish and played with the fork and the food. When he made sure that Legolas returned his attention to the salad, he looked again at Zana.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Why the hell were all those people staring at me? When I crossed the dinning room hundreds of eyes looked at me, I felt so bad, sure they were comparing me with the elf-girls sitting there, so nice and beautiful, and I was so plain and common. I knew that elves and humans were worlds apart, and that they avoided falling into each others.. well, there were exceptions like Aragorn.. but he was something completely different from me.. after all ,he was a king, he helped to save the Middle Earth and he grew up among elves.. and in those times the kings, princesses, magicians were the superior ones, the admired ones.. and I was just an insignificant young woman. This is why I was really surprised when the king came to talk to me in front of everybody.  
  
"Zana, let me tell you that there has been a little mistake with the table's assignment, because you'll share breakfasts, lunches and dinner with the persons in that table" He pointed a place under a window. Legolas, Haldir, Gimli and two hobbits waited for me. One of them, I would say Pippin, stood up and started to lift his hands, calling me. I couldn't help smiling, because he was calling everybody's attention, and Haldir soon silenced him with a dangerous look. Somehow, I felt a bit better with that way of greeting me. It seemed that the hobbits already arrived in Mirkwood.  
  
"Hello, Zana, welcome to our table" Legolas kindly introduced me to the two hobbits and Gimli smiled at me. Haldir didn't move or say anything.  
  
"I'm hungry , really hungry" Pippin didn't stop talking for a while "The journey was so long, and Merry got very tired" Merry looked at him with anger and I was trying not to laugh.  
  
"So you come from another world?" Merry asked, looking at me with curiosity. "Tell us, is it very different?"  
  
"Well, yes, the truth is that it's so different" I started eating lunch, and they went on with their salads. Maybe they noticed the sadness in my voice because Pippin asked me fast if I didn't like Middle Earth.  
  
"Of course I like it.. this is a magic and wonderful place.." I looked throw the window, absent minded.  
  
"Then.. what's wrong?" Legolas looked directly at me, and I blushed at once. His presence made me feel weak and nervous  
  
"But here I'm not at home and I'm not accepted in the same way." My reply sounded sharp, and Legolas looked upset, but said nothing.. maybe he wasn't upset at all.. I hated myself when I couldn't control my feelings. Haldir laughed a bit, with irony, and looked at me.  
  
"They gave you a good room good clothes and you're eating the best food that elves could cook.. and you're not happy? What do you expect then? Becoming the princess?" His laughs were stronger and Gimli joined him.  
  
"Material things are not important for me, Haldir, and what you said now proves it. I need more than objects to be happy. So shut up and don't judge me so fast" I answered, angrily. Haldir was amazed and he was going to argue with me when Legolas stopped him.  
  
"You both, shut up. Can we eat in peace and talk like normal elves?.. and human?"  
  
"Hey!!! And hobbits!" Shouted Merry and Pippin. And those small beings made us feel better again, and the tense atmosphere disappeared. But Haldir and Legolas didn't speak to me again during the lunch. The hobbits and Gimli were telling funny stories, and the two elves joined them with comments, and I was the only one who was silent.. of course ,in all the stories I had read about transported girls, all people were interested on them ,wanting to know more and more.. but as I was saying all time, that journey wasn't what I always had imagined.  
  
Anyway ,I liked the company of the two hobbits, and I accepted their invitation for joining t hem in the gardens after lunch. After this, Legolas and Haldir looked at each other, as if they were happy because I had found distraction and they didn't have to take care of me.. and that made me feel so bad. Every moment, I noticed signs of disgust towards me, from them.. I was sure they didn't like me and I didn't know why, because after all, I didn't disturb anybody there.. but they even didn't want to talk to me and that was very strange, because the king accepted me and he was the king.. maybe they had other interests like elf-girls and they didn't want to loose their time with me.. sure, that was it. 


	6. A nice surprise

** Disclaimer. I don't own any of the LOTR characters and the songs I put as bottom music for each chapter.. all coincidences with real life are just a coincidence , because I only own Zana.  
  
*********************************************+  
  
A new day...  
  
A new day...  
  
I was waiting for so long  
  
For a miracle to come  
  
Everyone told me to be strong  
  
Hold on and don't shed a tear  
  
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears  
  
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears  
  
Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun  
  
- A new day has come - Celine Dion  
  
"I don't miss him" My voice sounded inside my head and my body started shaking with that confession. I had been talking to Pippin for one hour and here I was, already telling him some of my deepest secrets. He listened to me in surprise.  
  
"Maybe you don't love him.." . I looked at the small hobbit and smiled. He was so nice and patient, and now he was trying to give me advice about something he had never experienced before.. but he was right.. I didn't feel anything inside me, my heart was indifferent to the man who had been my boyfriend since two years ago. My eyes full of tears, trying to hold on.  
  
"Unfortunately, you're right, Pippin.. and being here doesn't help me too much.. the only persons who are being nice to me are you, Merry and few more.." I stopped for a while, wondering if I should tell him about Haldir's behaviour towards me. But I decided to shut up. Anyway, Pippin seemed to understand everything, he sighed and put his small hand on mine.  
  
"Legolas is a great friend and you 'll always be able to trust him, and whatever will happen, he'll always be there to help a friend. There's nothing bad about him and the person who will say the opposite will have to face this hobbit" He smiled at me and then he became serious again. "But what troubles you is Haldir..no, don't put this face, I' m starting to know you well, girl. Zana, don't let Haldir spoil your time here. he's a noble warrior, loyal to his race and also a friend to have by your side.. but he's Haldir of Lorien.. do you know what does this mean? That Galadriel herself chose him among all elves to be the protector of her land.. so this mean that he has the best of his race, although now you don't believe me.. he's something different, he's a world apart, he was chosen to live again after his death.. he's a hero for all of us and he has his own personality. But I assure you that he would die before harming any good person" He took a deep breath and smiled again. " Aragorn is a loyal friend too.. in those hobbits you'll have all the support you will need.. so don't be sad any more.."  
  
"Thanks , Pippin.. your words mean a lot to me" He smiled back and left, joining his friend Merry.  
  
"See you in some time, Zana" Merry shouted. And in that moment I remembered that Frodo and Sam weren't there, and when I wanted to ask Pippin, it was too late, I was there alone with my own thoughts. So I decided to walk for a while, returning to that gorgeous place I had discovered under the waterfall. I checked my watch, that amazingly still worked in that world, after travelling throw time. It was six o'clock.. soon we would have dinner and I would meet them again.. something in my stomach moved, my nerves were killing me.  
  
I finally reached the wooden bridge and placed myself there, looking into the water, my mind lost somewhere.. it was amazing to be there.. I still couldn't believe all the things that were happening to me, meeting the elf I always dreamed of.. and at the same time, I was sad, deeply sad, because in my dreams Legolas liked me, but in that real life I was supposed to live, I was completely insignificant and there were no interest from him.. but after all, in my world I loved an image, a picture in a movie, a character I even didn't know, so that couldn't be love.. love was what I felt about my boyfriend.. or what I had felt some time before.. exactly one day ago.. I had to be reasonable. A mission for me was there, and it wasn't a romantic one. I had to change the future and I didn't know how.. Gandalf's words were still inside my head and it was hard to assume them.. so I decided to forget about Legolas and all the feelings I had about that elf.. he was real here and I didn't know him, so probably all what I felt would disappear soon, because it was impossible to like someone you don't know at all.  
  
After this decision I felt a bit better.. I shouldn't get too used to anybody because maybe I would have to return home one day.. I wasn't like Aragorn or Eowyn, I didn't have any place there. So I would find out how to solve things and then, I would return to my world.  
  
"I've been all afternoon looking for you". Damnit.. why him? Why, in that moment, in that place?  
  
I turned around and met Legolas. He was smiling and he joined me in the bridge. And in that moment I realised that it would be so difficult to keep myself cold in the presence of that elf. My heart was beating so fast and strongly that I was afraid he would hear it. I blushed again, but fortunately he was looking at something in the distance.  
  
"Why do you feel so uncomfortable when I'm next to you?"  
  
"What?!" I was so ashamed of myself, maybe he had noticed that there was something inside me that .. no, but it was impossible! He looked in my eyes, waiting for a reply. "I don't feel uncomfortable" I hated myself, why did I always blush?? I looked at my hands, suddenly playing with a small stone I found in the ground was the main objective to keep my nerves distracted.  
  
"Yes, you are. You're always sharp, now you're playing with this stone as if the world ended there" Was he smiling? I couldn't believe it.  
  
" I just think that I'm causing problems to you, because your father forced you and Haldir to take care of me here" I finally had said it.. I was managing to control myself. And he looked so upset, in fact, I didn't expect that reaction from him. He turned to face me directly and his blue eyes became so cold that I felt frozen.  
  
"In Mirkwood you won't find lies, you won't find betrayal or falseness.. we're noble elves who act following their hearts and good feelings.. I don't always obey my father, only when I think he's right and I agree with his decisions, so If I accepted taking care of you was because I wanted, I'm not here pretending or acting.. so don't ever doubt about our values, the bad ones only live among humans" His words were sharp and, more than ever, I hate being a human.. but he was right.. and the worst of all was that he would include me in this group.. he would think I'm always pretending, suspicious , and that nothing noble lays in my heart. Again, I felt so small in front of him. He looked in the distance for a while and spoke to me with a softer voice.  
  
"I know that you're uncomfortable here, and I would like to know why.. anyway, I can't force you to tell me.. your heart will talk sooner or later. But please, make yourself at home, you have the hobbit's company here, at least for some days.. and then, if you wish so, we can send you among humans in Gondor, where Aragorn will take care of you".  
  
So this is what he wanted.. send me away.. well , what did I expect? And in that moment the anger came to me and I looked for a defence. "If I've been sharp was because the first elf I met here treated me as if I was.. " The words didn't come to my head, I was blushing again, but this time with anger, remembering my first meeting with Haldir.  
  
Legolas became so serious, with a worried look, he came closer to me. "What happened with Haldir?" His voice was authoritarian, demanding an answer, and at once I was sorry for what I had said. Now he would think that I wanted to cause problems to Haldir, and all of them considered him a hero.. and Legolas had just met me, he would get angry if I talked like this about their friend, someone who helped them in battles, someone who came from death because he was chosen.  
  
"Forget it, Legolas" I started to walk back, and he followed me, took my arm and forced me to stop.  
  
"Zana, tell me" Now it was too late to shut up, and I told him all what had happened in the hall. His expression changed, he seemed to be thinking about something, and then he relaxed.  
  
"And I'm so sorry because now I spoiled everything, it wasn't my intention to talk about this and.."  
  
"No, don't worry" He interrupted me, with a smile. "I'm so glad that finally you decided to open your heart to someone , besides Pippin. And now I understand your behaviour better, and now I want to calm you down.. because Haldir is one of the best friends I've ever had and his hearts is one of the most noble hearts that exist.. however, something made him change when you arrived and there are not excuses for his acts, I'm sorry that things happened like this.. this is not the Haldir we all know and be sure that I'll try to find out what happens to him"  
  
I felt a lot better, and I was so surprised with that apologise. I didn't know what to say or make, I was just standing there under his gaze, while he was smiling kindly again.  
  
"Now I must leave, dinner will be served soon and I still have to solve some business in palace. Will you find the way back?" I nodded and he left, running. I decided to walk back too, and in the middle of the path he appeared again, I didn't hear him coming and I screamed.  
  
"Legolas!! You want to kill me? Please, tell me again when you're coming, I didn't hear you!" I was trying to breath again. He smiled.  
  
"I'm sorry, Zana.. I just returned to tell you something.. I don't think it's healthy for a human if her heart beats so fast and strongly" He was teasing me? Yeah, he was smiling.. I blushed. Of course. He had heard my heart beatings when we were talking?? He left again before I could ask him, leaving me alone and ashamed. I wanted to shout out loud that I was the most stupid being in the Middle Earth. 


	7. Sleepless in Mirkwood

** Disclaimer: again, repeating, I only own Zana, only Zana.  
  
********************************************************************  
  
Never been here before  
  
I'm intrigued, I'm unsure  
  
I'm searching for more  
  
I've got something thats all mine  
  
- Pure shores- All saints  
  
Legolas walked in the palace, looking for Haldir. Finally he found him sitting in the dinning room , alone in the table waiting for the rest. Waiters were starting to serve food.  
  
"Haldir, how come are you here so early? It's amazing that you came here before than Gimli!" Legolas was laughing out loud and Haldir frowned looking at the elf.  
  
"I was bored because since I arrived I've been workless, and it's not in my nature to stay lazy all time.. I thought I was invited here to help with something, not to stay all day walking in the gardens or reading in my room". He stopped talking when he saw Legolas' expression. " What's wrong? " asked. Legolas sat on his chair, when a waiter brought his dinner, and then looked at Haldir again.  
  
"Invited.. yes, it's a strange thing.. I thought that Galadriel sent you here because of something.. well, I have to talk to my father later.. now forget it"  
  
"Yes, she did, in reply to the invitation.. what makes you so confused?" But Legolas didn't reply, and went directly to the subject he wanted to talk about.  
  
"Zana is having a bad time because of you. I've been with her for some minutes and she told me everything". Haldir sighed, and then left the fork over the table.  
  
"I already told you why I acted like this with her, so please forget about it, ok?"  
  
"No, because you're not this kind of elf, Haldir.. you're more honourable than most of elves in this world, and you're acting as if something darkened your mind" Haldir looked at him and nodded , but said nothing. " So, Haldir, I hope you won't make her uncomfortable any more.. I don't know which reasons do you have to act like this, but please, control yourself.. find out what 's inside you and free it. And the most important thing: don't be afraid of her" Legolas said this with a little evil smile, and he laughed at Haldir's reaction.  
  
"I'm not afraid of her" he said, slowly and with strong voice. "What do you mean?"  
  
"You know.. and now shut up, here she comes" The two elves greeted her and the two hobbits. Gimli was coming behind them, talking to Aragorn, who approached the table to visit his friends.  
  
"In two days I'll leave and I almost couldn't talk to any of you.. can you please sit with me during this dinner?"  
  
They all looked at Zana, and she understood that they were firing her.. she looked indifferent, and Pippin apologized, but it seemed that she avoided all kind of comments and left soon.  
  
"What happens to this girl?" asked Gimli, who wasn't too delicate with people and still didn't say a word to Zana.  
  
"Leave her alone, Gimli. Aragorn, it will be nice to have you here with us.. it's a shame that you have to leave, but I suppose Arwen can't wait for you any more" Pippin always asked things in a strange way, but Aragorn laughed lightly.  
  
"Yes, I must leave, this was just a visit I couldn't refuse.. it's strange to be separated from all of you, after all the things we have lived together.. since my wedding we became a bit separated.. and now that Sam also married and Frodo is writing his memories.. well, I'm always a bit melancholic"  
  
" And we also miss you. This is why tomorrow we'll make a big party to say goodbye to you" Legolas looked at Haldir and went on talking. "Of course, if Haldir changes his mood a bit"  
  
Haldir smiled, looking at the rest of his friends . " Don't worry, Legolas. I'll dance like all of you and I won't stay in the corner, complaining and drinking" They all laughed, because usually Haldir didn't like parties too much.  
  
"This would be interesting, to see Haldir dancing with an elf!" Merry was shouting too much, and all the elves turned around to watch him. Zana was smiling and she looked at Haldir, who looked puzzled and ashamed. But all from the sudden , he stared at her, and it was her turn to blush and watch her dish again. Legolas saw his reaction and gave him a curious look. While the rest were talking, he spoke to him in very low voice.  
  
"I'm starting to understand what happens to you.." His words didn't get any answer, and he felt something strange in his heart, and he got a bit scared. Gandalf's words came to his mind and some ideas were forming the shape of a doubt.. "What if.." Haldir looked at him.  
  
"Did you say something? Are you ok? "  
  
"Just thinking.."  
  
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"I hate the way they ignore me, I hate it.. nobody in this table has talked to me in the whole dinner." Gandalf was sitting next to me, and he smiled at my words.  
  
"You complain too much and you don't make any effort to meet elves"  
  
"You know what? I already ate enough for today, I'll go to my room and rest a bit. It's still very early but I don't care, I can't be here any more because I'm getting too nervous" I stood up and Gandalf gave me a strange look.  
  
"Zana.." he whispered, asking me to stay. But I couldn't, I felt too bad.. and I knew it was all my fault, I was so insecure and this feeling usually made me feel bad in front of new people. And the way they fired me from the table.. I understood that they wanted to be together.. but I was disappointed, because none of them asked me to stay, they just needed another chair, there was no need to fire me..  
  
I excused myself and walked towards the door, crossed it and felt a bit better. It was already dark outside and the pale full moon shone above the gardens. Once in my room, I looked for a pyjamas or something similar to sleep.. and the only thing I found was a kind of light dress.. yeah, so light that although I was wearing it, "everything" under me could be seen.. as if it was transparent.. it was a kind of blue satin, but I couldn't tell what kind of material was it.. "nobody will visit me, so I'll wear it anyway". I stepped in the small balcony I had in my room, and looked the stars.. I had always loved the night, the moon, the way things look under her light.. it's kind of magic.. in the Earth I loved starry nights and I was able to stay under the sky for hours. And there the beauty was increased, and it charmed me. I heard distant voices of elves returning from the dinning room and going to their own homes. I wondered how did they spend nights there, or any time of spare time.. because I couldn't believe that every day, everything finished with dinner.. I missed hanging out with friends, the parties, the coffee shops.. everything looked so boring in Middle Earth, and I was sorry for not staying with Gandalf a bit more, sure he could have told me what to do. I checked time. Almost 10.. and I didn't know when did they wake up.. so I decided to go to bed, maybe they were early elves and at 5 in the morning life started again.  
  
The sheets were so soft and I covered myself with the blanket.. the halls were silent now, and the only thing that made me nervous were the doors, because they didn't have locks.. so anybody could come in.. and now I could hear Legolas talking about honourable elves and so on.. and sure he would say that nobody would enter in my room because this wouldn't be noble.. I smiled in the darkness and felt a bit more calmed. I closed my eyes.  
  
"What time is it?" I opened my eyes again, I wasn't asleep any more. It was midnight, exactly. "Great, still midnight and I can't go on sleeping". I stepped out from the bed and looked for the slippers. An idea came to my head. Maybe walking would make me tired.. but I couldn't go out with that kind of sexy pyjamas.. but I was too lazy to get dressed. "Well, everybody is sleeping now"  
  
I opened the door of my room very carefully.. the only light in the hall was the moonlight.. I went outside and walked silently. I found a door that led to a big balcony, a new one, that was built over a small lake.. "That's so wonderful!" I was speaking alone, yeah.. but the scene was too beautiful to be quiet, the blue water shining under the moon, and the white marble sparkling as if it had stars inside it. I reached the border and leaned against the small wall. All lights of the houses were off, habitants of Mirkwood sleeping.. I felt powerful , as if I was taking care of all the sleeping elves.  
  
"It seems that you're braver than I thought when it comes to clothes, this is almost like wearing nothing"  
  
This voice.. this voice.. I felt so ashamed, looking for something to cover myself and, to my great surprise, Haldir gave me a small blanket. How come did he know I was there? When did he have time to go back to his room and get the blanket? Since when was he standing there??? I covered myself and turned around. He was standing there, looking at me.  
  
" Why are you spying me? How did you know I would need a blanket? Did you follow me?"  
  
Haldir walked some steps and he stood by my side.  
  
"First, I didn't spy you. Second, your room is in front of mine, I was awake and I heard you going out.. I told you that I didn't trust you too much and I wanted to make sure that you wouldn't rush in my room during night" He looked at me and smiled a bit.  
  
I was amazed, he was so arrogant, so.. I couldn't find the words to defend myself "Of course I didn't plan to come in your room, are you crazy? I couldn't sleep, I was bored, and I needed to walk"  
  
"With those clothes?" He asked with sarcasm . I couldn't bear that any more, and I turned around to leave, throwing the blanket over him.  
  
"Wait" His voice made me stop. "Just a minute. And cover yourself again, please".  
  
I didn't know why, but I had to obey. I turned again and we looked at each other for some seconds.  
  
"The reason for being here is that I want to apologise, for all what I said since I met you. I didn't treat you well because I wanted to make sure that you didn't bring bad things to Mirkwood. They're my friends and Galadriel trusts me to defend them "  
  
"You are apologising? I can't believe it.. " I was really surprised, I didn't expect that at all. He walked towards me and took my hand.  
  
"Lets start from the beginning.. I'm Haldir of Lorien, and It's a pleasure to meet you, Zana" He kissed my hand and looked in my eyes. I was completely and totally speechless.  
  
"And if you won't say anything else, then I'll leave and wish you good night" I followed him with the gaze as he was leaving. And I felt a bit strange, I didn't know why, but what had just happened seemed impossible to me.. sure Legolas forced him to do it.. yeah, of course, now I understood everything. So I ran after him and when I reached him ,he was already entering his room.  
  
"Haldir!" He stopped and looked back, expectantly .  
  
"Yes?" he raised an eyebrow, waiting. And I tried to find the proper words.  
  
"I know that you apologised because Legolas asked you to do it. But you shouldn't act against your wills because this makes me feel even worse." I was again surprised when I saw his expression, because he looked upset.  
  
"If this is what you think about me, then it's worthless to explain anything" He closed the door strongly, and I stood outside, in the halls..  
  
"Will I ever understand those elves?" I sighed and went directly to bed. 


	8. The power of goodbye

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana and Merwen. This chapter is a mess, I don't like it. But tomorrow I leave to university and I won't be here again until weekend, so I wanted to leave this story a bit more advanced. Next chapters will be better and I'll update on Thursday or Friday. Thanks for all the reviews! It's nice to see that some people are reading this (  
  
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Your heart is not open so I must go  
  
The spell has been broken  
  
I loved you so  
  
You were my lesson I had to learn  
  
I was your fortress  
  
- The power of goodbye- Madonna  
  
Haldir woke up very early that morning. In fact, he spent half of the night thinking, because many things were making him confused. One of the things was what had happened at midnight.. he was so angry with himself for following Zana. She was right, he was spying her, and the worst thing was that he didn't know why.. when he saw her standing there, in the moonlight, something changed inside him, and for the first time in his whole life he didn't know how to act. He had always found the proper actions, words for everything. It was also the first time in his life he didn't control himself, his bad behaviour, his rudeness.. the elves who knew him wouldn't believe their eyes if they had seen how he had treated the girl since she arrived.. and this made him so confused, wishing to talk to Galadriel or Gandalf in order to get more information about situation.  
  
The second thing that worried him was the journey to Mirkwood.. why all from the sudden he, Aragorn, Gandalf, Gimli and the two hobbits were sent there?. Who knew that Zana was going to arrive? There were too many things to ask.  
  
After he got dressed he left the room and stopped for a while in front of Zana's door, doubting.. he was going to knock on it but his hand fell in the air. "What am I doing?" He went on walking and heard Gandalf singing, coming from the opposite side of the hall.  
  
"Haldir, my friend!" The old magician looked so happy that morning, and Haldir smiled in reply. Gandalf read his mind ."I knew you were looking for questions, so lets talk a bit"  
  
"You always surprise me, Gandalf" They both started walking. "But I'll only ask you one question, because this is not the best moment to talk, they're' waiting for us in the dinning room".  
  
"I know what troubles you, and I'll be brief , saying that we all were sent here because of different reasons.. Aragorn had promised a visit to Legolas. Merry and Pippin were travelling to Gondor to visit Aragorn, and they heard that he was here so they joined him, and they will join him again in the way to Gondor" Haldir nodded, but he was still confused. Gandalf saw his expression. "And now, my friend, I'll tell you our reasons to be here.. mine is simple. I knew that this girl would come, I knew the meaning of her visit and also the persons with more options to be involved with her. And Galadriel dreamt about this, she called me and one night I went to Lorien. We talked and she said that you, Haldir, had to come here because she had an intuition".  
  
Haldir blinked, staring at the magician. "But then, was I the only one who was destined to come here and meet her? Why all this mystery then?" Gandalf stopped one moment and sighed.  
  
"No, things are not so easy.. remember that this girl appeared in Mirkwood, not in Lorien. So Legolas is involved too. And I'm involved too, and the king, and all habitants of Mirkwood"  
  
"This is a mystery indeed, and I'm starting to get tired of waiting. I can't be here all time, I must return to Lorien, and I'll do it as soon as possible".  
  
"You can't leave, Haldir.. you must wait!"  
  
"Wait for what? I'm not myself any more, and I can't change like this.. I don't know what happens here but this is affecting me. Tonight I'll pack my things after the party" Gandalf looked at him with sadness.. that was going to be more difficult than he thought at first.  
  
They walked to the dinning room, crossing the halls and ending in the big place where the smell of breakfast filled the air. Gimli was already there, and Haldir smiled. That dwarf was really obsessed with food, like the two hobbits.. but he couldn't find them, neither Aragorn.Gandalf went to the king's table and joined him, talking in low voice.  
  
"Good morning, Gimli" They sat down and they both started to eat. "Where are the rest of people?"  
  
"No idea. Maybe sleeping? Not all elves and hobbits and humans get up as early as you" Haldir laughed at his words.  
  
"Look who's talking, what are you doing here so early?"  
  
The two hobbits and Aragorn came, sitting and choosing some food from the trays.  
  
"Hey, where are Zana and Legolas? Aragorn! You're siting in Zana's chair!" Merry pushed the human and he smiled.  
  
"Ok, don't worry, I'm leaving now. By the way, I haven't seen Legolas since last night" He left, biting an apple. Merry and Pippin started joking with Gimli and soon they came into a conversation. Haldir was quiet, thinking about what Gandalf had told him.. and thinking where the hell was Legolas and why Zana was so late.  
  
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The hot water made me feel better.. I was taking a bath when someone knocked on my door. Great, I couldn't open the door in that situation. I looked for a towel and stepped outside.  
  
"Who are you? I'm taking a bath!" I hated those interruptions.  
  
"I'm sorry.. I was just wondering if you would have breakfast this morning" Legolas voice, no doubt. I became so nervous.  
  
"Yes, I'll go now, give me some minutes"  
  
"Ok, I'll wait for you here" What?? Was he going to wait outside? Why?  
  
I have to say that I'm so slowly dressing up.. I need a lot of time to take a bath, wash my hair, choose the clothes.. and in Mirkwood things didn't change too much, so I was really late again. I chose a comfortable dress, and I let my hair wet over my shoulders (oh, my hairdryer!!! Where are you?). I opened the door and found Legolas standing there. he said good morning with a smile.  
  
"I wanted to talk to you before breakfast.. and ask you if you feel well.. " We walked together, I was shaking again.  
  
"Of course.. why do you ask me this?" Did he maybe know that I was talking to Haldir at midnight?  
  
"Well, yesterday you left the dinning room so fast.."  
  
"No, don't worry"  
  
We walked in silence, an uncomfortable silence. Neither of us watching at the other, just walking.. I was wishing to arrive in the dinning room, I couldn't bear that situation any more. Why was he so quiet? Yeah, of course, he was bored with me.. I was a quiet and serious person since always, so why would he be pleased with my company? I hated that, I hated that.. Luckily, we arrived in the dinning room and I sighed, as if I had left the doctor or the dentist.  
  
"Happy?" he asked me with a smile. I blushed, of course.  
  
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After a horrible breakfast avoiding Haldir's gaze and replying all kind of questions from the hobbits, I decided to walk alone during the day. That night there would be a party and I had the feeling that it would be a mess.. I could imagine myself sitting all night in a corner , waiting for the event to finish and go happily to my bed. Obviously, all elf-girls would dance with Legolas, Aragorn was married (oh.. what a shame) , and the two hobbits and Gimli were too short for me.. and there were more elves in Mirkwood, of course, but with the elf- girls they had there, well, any hope of dancing would be dreaming too much.  
  
When I went to my room I found Merwen inside. She greeted me with a smile and gave me a dress.. something amazing. A kind of dark red , with a necklace, a bracelet and all the complements that a dress for a party must have. But I had never seen something so nice before, I was a modest person in the Earth who didn't have too many money, so the sight of those things made me feel strange , I wasn't sure about that party. After all, I didn't dance well, I was a mess, and I didn't know how to comb my hair, I always had it long but I never took care of it, well, of course I combed it but nothing special..  
  
"I can't prepare myself with this, Merwen.. I don't know how to dress up.."  
  
"This is why I'm here, I'll help you. I'll come at 8 in the night "She left the room with a smile. Great.  
  
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I walked outside for a while, it was almost lunch time, so I wanted to go to my room again and wash a bit. I had been sitting in the grass, under a tree, so I needed to change my clothes. When I was walking in my hall I saw that Haldir had his door opened. I looked from the distance . He was packing his clothes. Was he leaving? But of course, he heard my steps and came outside.  
  
"Hello, Zana. Do you want something? Why are you looking inside my room?" I blushed and thought of an excuse, but words didn't come to my head.  
  
"Well, I was coming to my room.. and you had the door opened.." I walked towards him, slowly, and for once, I decided to be a bit braver. "Why are you packing your things?"  
  
He looked at me and then he took a deep breath before replying. "I'm leaving tonight" I was speechless and surprised.  
  
"Why?" I stared at him in disbelief.  
  
"Personal business, nothing of your interest. "He stepped inside and went on packing. I followed him inside his room and he looked a me with a strange expression. I didn't ask for permission to pass, but I did it anyway.  
  
"Will you leave with Aragorn?" I was trying to make a conversation out of that, but he didn't help too much. "No" was his short reply. I attacked again. "So you plan to leave without any reason to give"  
  
He stood up and looked directly to me.  
  
"My reasons are only mine."  
  
"You're leaving because of me" ..Hey! Did I say this? I couldn't believe I had said this!!!!! I blushed deeply and I felt the heat in my face. He looked amazed too, staring at me all time.  
  
"I mean.. I know I've been rude, and I know that we weren't friends exactly, but.. don't leave because of me.. here you have all your friends and it would be stupid if you left! I know you can't bear me, maybe because I'm a human, or maybe because my personality is not like the one that elves like.. " I was talking without thinking, sure. He was so quiet looking at me.. why was he staring at me like that? As he didn't talk, I went on with my speech. "And all I want to say is that I won't disturb you, I promise I won't talk to you, and you won't even notice that I'm here.. but please, don't leave".  
  
Yeah, I was under a spell, because that wasn't me. When I finished talking I wanted to die, to disappear. What did I say that made him so astonished? We both stayed still, quiet, looking at each other for some seconds.  
  
"Zana.. I'm not leaving because I hate you." His voice sounded softer than ever before, a kind of smile on his lips. "I'm leaving because.. "  
  
He didn't talk.. looking for the right words. "See?" I said. "You don't have any good reason.. so please, stay here, ok? "  
  
I had to leave, at that point, I had to leave. I was too ashamed, too shy, too.. I don't know, but I came out and turned once more. "I hope to see you tonight in the party. If not, I hope you'll say good- bye .. "I couldn't recognise myself.. but something forced me to say that and now it was too late.. His gaze still on me. I left. And in the end of the hall was Gandalf.. yes, it was Gandalf.. he was smiling, and greeted me.. I was too confused to say anything and I closed the door of my room.  
  
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Haldir sat on his bed, after closing the door.. he was so surprised and confused. What had happened? Was that real or was he dreaming? He looked at his packed things and then to the door. His blue eyes fixed in some point, and the words of Zana still in his head. That was the reason why he was leaving. Because of the effect that caused on him.. "Look at yourself, you look like a stupid mortal" He covered his face with his hands, took a deep breath and put the last thing in the bag.  
  
Gandalf walked in the gardens, smiling.. he knew he shouldn't have used magic with Zana, but he just made her tell the words that she had kept inside her mind.. he didn't force her to say something she didn't want.. "she will speak listening to her heart".. those were the words of the spell he put on her .. nothing else.. and Zana spoke. Her heart was full of secrets.. and too confused. He made a movement with his hands and closed his eyes "the witchcraft is over, Zana will be herself again".  
  
Zana, inside her room, felt dizzy. "Oh, my god, what did I do???!!!" She threw herself in the bed and covered her head with the pillow. 


	9. Zana is the lady in red?

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana, Merwen and the kind elf :) I don't own the song, neither the songs of the following chapter.. but i have to include them, because what kind of ball would it be without my favourite ballads? But you'll have to wait a bit before knowing what will happen in the big party :) Oh, as you can see, I couldn't wait until weekend to update.  
  
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The way you look tonight  
  
I never will forget, the way you look tonight  
  
The lady in red  
  
The lady in red  
  
- Lady in red- Chris deBurgh  
  
It was 8 and Merwen came to my room to check if I needed some help. I was standing there, my dress already on, and I was looking myself in the mirror, feeling so strange. The long dress was a bit tight, dark red, with long sleeves now that we were in autumn. The boots also read, but they couldn't be seen under all the clothes I was wearing. My hair a mess, but Merwen helped me. When I saw the result in mirror I couldn't recognise myself.  
  
"This is really me?" Merwen smiled and nodded.  
  
"You just needed a bit of help, you have to learn a lot about cosmetics, hairdos and dresses, why did nobody in your world teach you?" I sighed, shrugging.  
  
"I suppose I wasn't too obsessed with my appearance, I was a normal and common girl there and I liked to dress in comfortable clothes"  
  
"Well, in some minutes the dinner will begin, will you join them?"  
  
I suddenly felt so scared, after all what had happened before. I asked Merwen if she could bring me some food, because I had decided to stay in my room. She gave me a surprised look, as if I was crazy.  
  
"But this will be a very important dinner, Zana. You can't miss it, what will the king say? And Aragorn?"  
  
"I don't know and I don't care, I just can't go, I can't" I whispered, desperately . But Merwen got a bit angry.  
  
"Staying here won't solve your worries, and it will add one more problem to your life, so please, go out of this room and sit in the big table with all the elves , dwarf, hobbits and human who are waiting for you, because I won't bring you anything"  
  
She left the room quickly, and I stood there, confused. It was already night outside, and I went to my balcony. Full moon again. And the lights in the gardens on, where some elves were carrying tables, chairs and lots of things they needed for that event. I was wondering how could I escape from that dinner without being noticed.. at first, when I had arrived, I was so sure that nobody would miss me if I disappeared.. but now I was making a mental list with the persons who would ask about me in the case I didn't show up.. and to my surprise the list wasn't small, and it included the most important elves there. Maybe I wasn't ignored, and all what I had was an attitude problem. Anyway, my feelings about being there were the same. But sometimes you have to choose.. you can act like a victim, or you can play the game. And it wasn't my intention to be a victim.  
  
I came in the room again and fixed some more things before leaving. When I opened the door, first I made sure that Haldir wouldn't step outside when I went out.. but I was also sure that after our conversation he would run away from me. He would attend this dinner for Aragorn and then , after it, he would leave. So I only had to resist in the dinning room.. just an embarrassing hour.. maybe two.. and then nothing else. It couldn't be so difficult. And I remembered Legolas, his kindness towards me, and when Haldir left, I would feel comfortable again.  
  
With those thoughts I walked outside, trying not to make noises. The halls were bright in the candle's light.. they put them for this special occasion, and they gave a mysterious look to the whole palace.. it was like a dream. When I stopped in the door of the dinning room , I noticed I was late, very late, because all people were already sitting. This time they put one large table, instead of the small rounded ones.. I was breathless with the sight of the room.. hundreds, maybe thousands of candles, the moonlight and a nice music.. all elves elegantly dressed, and the King in the top of the table, looking at me. In fact, all people turned around to see who was the stranger who dared to arrive late. I felt so ashamed. There were so many people that I couldn't recognise anybody there..  
  
A waiter walked towards me and led me to my seat. And I froze. Yeah, I froze, blushed and all those things that make you feel embarrassed and that make you want to die at once. Because I was sitting next to Haldir and far away from Legolas, Aragorn and the King. I looked for the hobbits, and unfortunately they were too distant to keep a conversation . Pippin sent me a calming smile, but this didn't help.  
  
"Well, now that we all are finally here, I want to say some words for our guest Aragorn, who will leave us tonight after dinner" The king spoke , standing up. And I was surprised.. Aragorn would leave before the party, so probably with Haldir. I could feel Haldir's sight over me, because Aragorn was on our left and our heads were turned. On my left there was a male elf, unknown for me, who looked so concentrated.. but the thing I most wished in that moment was to speak with him and avoid the silence of Haldir. But when I opened my mouth, the king went on talking.  
  
"Aragorn, it was a pleasure to have you here in Mirkwood, my kingdom. We all will miss you and we send our best wishes to your wife" All elves clapped and whistled, smiling. " And as you decided to leave so early, I'm afraid we'll have to make the party without you" A lot of "oooh's" filled the room, and they all laughed again. " So have a good journey, my friend, with the ones who will join you on it" The king looked at the hobbits, and Merry and Pippin stood up and greeted. Then ,the king watched in my direction. Probably he also wanted to say some words to Haldir, who was supposed to leave too. I waited.  
  
" And now, we want to hear some words from a special person who joined us few time ago" I looked at Haldir, but he was looking at me, like the rest of the table. What was happening? "Zana, please.." The king invited me to talk, and I blushed, I turned into red, like my dress. "Come on, stand up"  
  
The room was silent, all eyes on me. "Well.. I don't know what to say.. I suppose that I should thank you all for your kindness, for the new friendships I've found here, although it seems that tonight the two hobbits will leave and I will miss them a lot" Merry and Pippin smiled. "Anyway.. I hope that I won't cause any problem while I'll be here and if I already troubled someone , I want to say that I'm really sorry. This is new for me, and I'm a bit scared and nervous" I smiled, and I saw Gandalf smiling at me. Also Aragorn. Legolas was serious, staring at me. And of course, I couldn't watch at Haldir because he was too close to me, just under my head, but I felt he was watching at me too. "Oh, and thank you for all those dresses, and everything. I feel as if I was someone completely different with those clothes and I can't recognise myself" They all smiled. "Well.." My voice sounded shy . " And I suppose this is everything, thank you".  
  
When I sat down I heard everybody clapping, and smiling at me. It seemed that finally I had been accepted. The waiters started to bring the dinner, but my stomach was closed, too nervous to eat anything. My heart was beating so fast, and I looked at the elf on my left.  
  
"So.. what kind of food is this?" He looked at me, surprised.  
  
"Well, it's a kind of meat.." He explained with a kind voice. " You never tried it before?"  
  
We started a kind of food- conversation, and I was talking all time, as if I was giving a speech. I talked about the biggest nonsense in the world, like salt, piper and the story about one day I ate too many sweets and I had terrible effects.. I could hear my own voice and I was telling all time to myself "Shut up". The elf started to look bored, and he tried to tell me, in a kind way, that if I spoke too much I wouldn't be able to eat. But I almost couldn't touch the meat, that was too much for me, having Haldir by my side after all the things I had said. I took a glass of wine and drank the whole liquid at once. And I remembered that wine caused strange effects on me.  
  
"You shouldn't drink so fast, even more when you're hardly eating" Haldir spoke in low voice to me. I turned to watch at him, his blue eyes cold, like always.  
  
"I'm eating" But I knew it wasn't true. "And I was thirsty, that's all. I won't drink more by the moment"  
  
"By the moment?" His eyes brighter, as if they were smiling.. but maybe it was my imagination and he didn't smile at all. "So you plan to get drunk tonight?"  
  
"This worries you?" I asked, with sarcastic voice. Oh, no.. the wine. Haldir smiled a bit.  
  
"The thing that worries me is what wine can make you tell to any of the elves who are sitting here" Now he was kidding, sure. He was laughing at me because of what I had told him before. I looked at him, but he went on eating and started to talk to the elf on his right.  
  
The rest of the dinner passed so fast.. the poor elf on my left was patient enough to bear me and we kept a nice and normal conversation about his family and Mirkwood. So when the king announced that it was time to leave the dinning room and enter the big dancing saloon, I was amazed. I checked time, but I had left my watch in the room.  
  
"It's 10 in the night" Haldir had read my mind, and I looked at him surprised.  
  
But everybody stood up and left.. they hugged Aragorn, they shook hands.. the hobbits even cried a bit, and when I kneeled to gave them a kiss, I felt so sad. I was going to miss them. Pippin took my hand and whispered something in my ear " Good luck with your elves" He smiled and winked.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked, blushing.  
  
"You know" The two hobbits left with Aragorn , walking to the rooms to take their bags. I looked for Haldir, checking if he was in the dinning room, but I couldn't find him . So in the end he had decided to leave. Without saying goodbye? And I would never see him again? Why did I feel bad?  
  
"You look sad" Legolas came by my side and smiled softly.  
  
"I'll miss the two hobbits" I replied, and inside me I realised I was sad because of something else, but I couldn't say why. Legolas put his hand on my shoulder.  
  
"You have more friends here, Zana. Give them a chance" I looked up at him , at his smiling blue eyes.  
  
"Thank you" My voice was just a whisper as he left joining the group and walking behind Aragorn. I was alone again. I saw the rest of elves in the next room, the big saloon, and I entered, amazed with the place.. nothing on Earth could be compared to the sight of those wonderful constructions.. the ceiling was so high that it seemed to touch the stars. There were lots of tables around the centre of the room, with many different drinks.. And in a corner, Gandalf was sitting and smoking. When he saw me, he waved his hand to call me.  
  
"Zana, I have a surprise for you" He said, with a secret smile. "Write on this paper the names of all your favourite songs.. and tonight magic will play them for you"  
  
"Do you mean that I'll be able to listen all the songs I want? How?"  
  
"Never ask a magician about his magic! Now, while we wait for the king and the prince, write. Come on!" I sat next to him , took the paper and started to write.. more than fifty songs came to my head, but maybe they were too much. Gandalf read my mind again "The night is long, we'll need some music" Yeah, this would make the party a bit better.. my beloved music.. how did I miss it!  
  
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The king and Legolas walked with the travellers to the main door. A kind of sadness was floating in the atmosphere, like always, when someone left the people he loved. The moon was shining in the sky.  
  
"The night is clear, you won't have any problem in your way" The king spoke, and shook hands with them. "Good luck, my friends"  
  
The company left as Legolas and the king stood in the door. Then they returned to the saloon. Legolas was so shocked that he almost didn't speak. His father was curious too. "It seems that every day brings a new surprise, son.. plans were a bit different some hours ago, I wonder what happened to make things turn into this " . Legolas nodded. He knew the answer, but preferred to ignore it. He had known it since the first day. He knew Haldir very well. 


	10. Dancing in the moonlight Part 1

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana.  
  
I've updated too fast, typing all night, so I couldn't ask you for music and song's suggestions..  
  
*Winqweaver, I included your songs :) But I'll accept more suggestions because a dance event like this needs 2 paragraphs! So the second one will come this weekend!  
  
*stardust-creations. My intention was to make a confusing paragraph :) I couldn't leave things so clear.. :)  
  
Thank you all for your reviews! I'm so happy that some people like my story! Now for real, I'm leaving to university, but I'll be coming back soon.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
I'm so tired but I can't sleep  
  
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep  
  
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word  
  
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard  
  
- I will remember you- Sara McLachlan  
  
Haldir took a deep breath and looked at the sky. Thousands of stars shining there, and the pale moon filling everything with a soft light. He was still surprised with himself, upset with his decision. Something was wrong and he wasn't the elf he used to be. Taking his bag, he picked up a small kind of necklace that Galadriel gave him and he kept it in his hand. It made him feel better as he walked in the night, lost in his thoughts.  
  
Legolas came in the big saloon and saw Zana in the distance, sitting with Gandalf and writing something in a piece of paper. She looked so different from the day she arrived. And only two days had passed, but they had been enough to change that human girl, she was now like a new person who was getting adapted to a new world, paying attention to all the things around her. He smiled at that sight, the view of the absent minded gaze, with her brown hair falling over her eyes. She fixed it with a hand, and made a face when it crashed with the adornment she was wearing to hold her long hair. Somehow she managed to repair it and looked back at the paper.. sometimes she stared at some point, as if she was thinking of something very important.. Gandalf was half asleep, next to her, waiting for that list. It seemed that he had followed his advice about the music. Walking to the opposite side of the large room, in order to meet his father again, he watched back once more, as Zana looked up at him too. He greeted her with a smile. The party was going to begin.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------  
  
Legolas caught me staring at him. I just couldn't help it, this is too much for me. I try to avoid my feelings but I can't. Anyway, I was starting to think that something was wrong inside my head, because the past hours I had started to feel something different too.. great, I was analysing my brain in the middle of a party.  
  
I sighed and gave the paper to Gandalf. "This is it. Here you have all my favourite songs.. and if you're interested, I separated the ballads from the dancing ones" Gandalf seemed not to understand what I wanted to say, and I explained him.  
  
"Oh, I understand. Very well.." he stood up walked to join the king and this one asked for silence. All the elves there, together with Gimli, stopped talking and looked at Thranduil.  
  
" My friends and citizens.. this party will include a new event that was never made before. Gandalf will bring music from Zana's world, and we all will enjoy the sounds from the Earth" All elves watched me with curiosity. "So.. the party has began. Enjoy and have a good time".  
  
The music started to sound, filling the big room. One of my favourite songs, "With or without you", by U2. Some elves started dancing with their couples, and I approached one of the drink's tables and took a glass of a sweet wine. The taste was so nice, soft, and I felt a bit dizzy, but it was a very comfortable sensation that warmed me. I thanked Gandalf all what he had made, and he winked. "No need to say thanks, Zana." His smile was kind and finally, I didn't feel alone any more. He was like a grandfather, taking care of everybody. And he joined me with a drink.  
  
"Cheers!" I said, and he looked at me with interrogative gaze. "It's an expression we use when we drink and wish the best to our friends".  
  
"Cheers then" He said, drinking the whole glass. The king came with us.  
  
"I'm glad that you're having a good time, Zana. Feel free to drink whatever you'll want, but please, be careful" he smiled and left with the magician.  
  
No, oh no.. they left me alone in the crowd. Some elf- girls were laughing near from me, and a group of male- elves asked them for a dance. Yes, heart business were similar in all worlds. A new song was playing, "Take my breath away". Many memories came to my head, and the wine in my stomach warmed me again as I went on drinking. I knew I should control myself, I was so sensitive to alcohol.. but that liquid was too good to stop .. there was an open window near from where I was , and also a small glass door that led to the gardens. I walked there and watched the landscape under the moonlight, with the glass still in my hand. I looked at the stars , shining above us.. as if they could be seen throw the ceiling. I really liked that place. Behind me there was a marble column, and I leaned against it. I was hidden from the rest of elves and at the same time, inside the saloon.. and I liked that feeling. I liked listening to the music that was bringing me so many memories from Earth. I looked at the glass, it was already empty. "Well, lets go back to the table". And in some seconds I was back again.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------  
  
Legolas' eyes searched for Zana. He couldn't see her in the room, and he walked around the place, the candle lights made shadows move in the walls as elves danced.. a very nice music made them crazy, as if they were charmed by it. He crossed between some couples, greeted some elves, and then found Gimli, completely drunk.  
  
"Gimli!" He approached him, and looked with disgust. "The night has just begun and you're already drunk" The dwarf didn't reply, he was singing with the music, sitting next to some elves who had joined him. "Gimli, listen to me" He took his arm and pushed him. "Gimli, can you hear me?" He nodded and Legolas sighed. "Ok , have you seen Zana?"  
  
Gimli opened his eyes, as if he was thinking about something.. and then he started to sing in very loud voice " Oh, the looooove, and the looooovers.. where is Zana, he asks???? Zana, my love, come hereeeeeeee! I'm a lonely elf who claims for your looooooooove!!" All elves burst into laughs , and Legolas stood up, taking a deep breath. When all the elvish eyes stopped watching, he asked Gimli again, but he didn't pay attention to anybody else than the elves next to him.  
  
"Ok, Gimli, I won't forget this so easily" Legolas went on walking, a bit angry. It was useless, maybe she had left. He went to the first floor, looking for her room, and knocked on the door, but nobody replied. "The gardens.." he whispered.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------  
  
What the hell was shouting Gimli? All elves were laughing at him and I felt so ashamed.. why was he singing that, all from the sudden? I waited for some minutes before checking who was with him.. and when I finally saw the small dwarf, I couldn't recognise any of the elves who were having fun there.. they all seemed to be too drunk to be able to think about anything..  
  
I walked towards another window, a more lonely one, with a small fountain near from there. I had taken the third glass of wine and I felt that the "easy laughter", as I call it, was coming.. I was smiling, I had the need to dance, or sing.. yeah, the effects of alcohol.. but I was alone, I had to keep myself busy, and there was nothing bad on that.. "I love this song" I whispered, when "Think twice " was starting to play. I looked back at the dancing floor, and throw the crowd of couples I saw someone known. I couldn't tell who was him, because my sight was a bit clouded, but I would have said that he looked like Haldir. "Oh, greeeat... now I miss Haldir and I see him everywhere.." Yes, I was talking alone. And I didn't remember that elves had a perfect hearing. Some of them looked at me, but I didn't feel too ashamed, that wine was good! " Don't say what you're about to say.. Look back before you leave my life..." I started to sing in low voice, almost a whisper.. nice song.. and I turned again.. Legolas wasn't there.. maybe he was with an elf -girl.. "yes, this is my destiny, I'll even attend his own wedding". I drank a bit more of wine. The moon was shining like a lamp, I couldn't stop watching at it. "Wait!" I almost shouted to myself.. "what did I do now..? I was looking for Legolas.. but I miss Haldir.. crazy, I'm becoming crazy!!" I think I was talking to myself too loud.  
  
"Maybe you should stop drinking, Zana" I turned around to meet Legolas. He walked towards me, took my glass of wine and put it over a table. "What are you talking about so concentrated? Don't you know that half of the elves here can hear you?" He was smiling with the sweetest smile I had never seen.. yes, I was a bit drunk. "You're lucky that they all are drunk" I smiled too, and then shrugged.  
  
"So the good thing is that everybody will forget about what I have said some moments ago"  
  
"Not everybody, because I'm not drunk" I blushed deeply under his gaze. And even more when, to my great surprise, he gave one more step, staying closer to me.  
  
"Would you dance with me, Zana?" I couldn't believe that, I was too nervous to talk, so I just extended my hand and put it over the hand that Legolas was offering me, and he took me to the dancing floor. Another great song, "Falling into you". Yeah, I like some ballads of Celine Dion. We started to dance, slowly, I wasn't able to look at him, I was so surprised, so shocked that I didn't react, so I followed him as the music spread all around us. He was quiet, like me. And time seemed to stop, all from the sudden. it was like being in heaven.. if that place really existed, sure it was something similar to that thing.  
  
We were dancing "I will remember you", when Legolas got a bit separated from me.  
  
"Are you still feeling dizzy?" he was so kind asking me, and I lied, saying no. The truth is that I felt dizzy but not because of wine exactly.. "Ok, then can I ask you about the things you were talking to yourself before?" He was smiling lightly.  
  
"Well.. I was bored, half drunk and I suppose I didn't know what I was saying.. " I avoided his gaze and we went on dancing. The lyrics of that song made me feel a bit confused.. all time I had been so sure about Legolas, but the first one who came to my head listening to Sara McLachlan was.. Haldir. Yeah, I was confused, so confused. I stopped dancing.  
  
"Legolas, do you mind if I drink something more? No, no! Don't worry, no more wine" I explained, when I saw his scared expression. He separated again and looked confused.. upset? No, I don't think so.. well, maybe I had spoiled the moment.. but.. what moment? He didn't feel anything about me! I was too drunk to think clearly..  
  
" As you want, I'll join some friends and be back in no time" He left me, a strange expression in his eyes.. suddenly I heard him talking to the king.. and Thranduil saying "Thank you, Legolas". What was the meaning of that?? He had forced him to dance with me?? They both looked at me.. yes, he asked Legolas to dance with me! I couldn't believe that, I felt so stupid.. and that song was killing me and I didn't know why.. my eyes were full of tears, I had to escape.  
  
I walked back to my secret place behind the column and took a de p breath.. definitely I needed a psychiatrist. I looked at my glass of juice, the liquid shining under the moonlight, and I closed my eyes, thinking. I wouldn't allow myself to fall into Legolas, I would never allow that. He would harm me too much.  
  
"Hello, Zana" a voice behind me, he had found me.. I turned around, shocked, and I almost dropped my glass.. I couldn't believe my eyes..  
  
"Hello, Haldir.. " my voice just a whisper.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------  
  
"Thank you , Legolas" Legolas smiled at his father, and they both looked back to Zana. "We thought she was lost and you finally found her. It's surprising what you did, son"  
  
Legolas stared at him. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, you spent quite some time dancing with her, I wouldn't expect that.. you never dance in our parties, I think this is the first time I've seen you asking a girl to dance with you.." Legolas blushed a bit.  
  
" This is a party, right? What's wrong with that?" He took a glass of wine, and joined a group of elves, while his father looked at him with a strange smile. 


	11. Dancing in the moonlight Part 2

**Disclaimer: I only own Zana. All the paragraphs that look like songs are not mine, because they belong to their singers. I just didn't want to spoil the story including all the "By.." , that would make everything confusing. Ok, the names of the songs and the singers: Iris, by Goo Goo Dolls My only love, by Jennifer Love Hewitt Don't cry, by Guns'n Roses At the beginning, by Richard Marx Think twice, by Celine Dion Nothing at all, by Sailor Moon (?) La noche llegó, by Natalia ( "The night has come")(Great one, download it!)  
  
Thank you very much for all your reviews and suggestions! Here I included some of the songs that Merina suggested (thanks!( ) If you download the songs and listen to them in the same order, you'll be able to join Zana in the party, or at least in the back sound of the party (  
  
As you can see, I already returned from the university, great days there! But now I have to move this story a bit! Again, thanks for supporting it!  
  
***********************************************************  
  
And it feels now  
  
just like heavens coming down  
  
your soul, shakes free  
  
as its conscience hits the ground  
  
these times,this fate,  
  
takes a path you didn't choose  
  
stay strong, keep faith  
  
there's a change that's  
  
coming through  
  
- Heaven coming down- The tea party  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------- Flashback.. two hours before the party.  
  
Aragorn became inpatient, sighing and moving his hands. The two hobbits sat on the grass, looking at each other. Legolas and the king , full of curiosity, followed the ranger with their gaze.  
  
"Where is Haldir? I can't wait more, we must leave now and he's delaying my journey"  
  
"I'll go with you, we'll check if he's in his room" Legolas offered , running after the human who went upstairs so fast. As they were walking in the corridors, Aragorn calmed a bit, becoming a bit worried.  
  
"Something is wrong with Haldir, I can't recognise the elf I met years ago.. "Aragorn whispered to himself, although Legolas heard him. He had his own theory about that change in the elf of Lorien but he opted for shutting up.  
  
Finally they arrived and knocked on Haldir's door.  
  
"Yes?" A strong voice replied. Legolas opened and they entered the room. Haldir was sitting on his bed, his bag on the ground, his gaze lost somewhere.  
  
"What the hell are you doing? We've been waiting for you more than fifteen minutes!" Aragorn tried to calm down, but he wasn't able, he was walking up and down along the room.  
  
"Haldir, what's wrong?" Legolas looked at him and he saw an unknown Haldir, a new confused elf. Aragorn had also noticed the big change because he stopped to stare at him.  
  
"I'm sorry, Aragorn, but I'm not leaving with you" Haldir finally spoke, and his two friends watched at him in surprise.  
  
"You can't be serious.. are you kidding me? Why, then , did you keep all of us waiting for you?! " Aragorn was becoming mad, obviously he missed Arwen more than the elves had expected. Legolas put a hand over his shoulder with a warning look.  
  
"Aragorn, let me speak with Haldir . You can leave now, I'll be there soon and finally you'll be able to start your journey" The human nodded and gave a last look to Haldir.  
  
"Take care, my friend.. and visit me in Gondor whenever you'll want" And with those words he left the room. Once he closed the door, Haldir stood up, unpacking his bag. Legolas walked towards the balcony and looked up at the moon.  
  
" I had a theory about you, Haldir, but I wasn't sure yet.. now I'm convinced that you will stay here because of something I could never had imagined before". Haldir looked at him and smiled sadly.  
  
"You don't know anything about this, Legolas. You think I'm staying here because of Zana.. but you're completely wrong"  
  
"Why, then, did you decide to stay?" Legolas looked a bit angry, and this made him confused.. why was he angry?  
  
"Gandalf asked me to stay, he believes that I have a mission here, like all of you, and if I left, things could turn into something more complicated"  
  
"But.. why did you keep the mystery? Why didn't you tell all of us that you were just following Gandalf's petition?  
  
Haldir didn't reply, and his friend smiled, moving his head.  
  
"No, Haldir. I don't think this is the only reason that keeps you here. But I won't insist more. Aragorn is in a hurry and I must say good bye to him"  
  
He gave a cold gaze to Haldir and left. Haldir finished unpacking his things and then went for a walk in the gardens. As soon as he started walking, he could hear Galadriel's voice.  
  
"Thank you, Haldir, for following your heart" He stopped, confused.  
  
"Galadriel?" he whispered, and looked at the necklace that was given to all the Lorien soldiers. It was shining. Like the candles in the main building..  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------  
  
Return to the party..  
  
[1- And all I can taste is this moment  
  
And all I can breathe is your life  
  
Cuz sooner or later it's over  
  
I just don't want to miss you tonight..]  
  
I couldn't believe that. We were standing, facing each other, and after some seconds, Haldir broke the eye contact. And that song.. that song in that moment.. why? Of course, to make me even more embarrassed. He took a deep breath and stared at me again, and I was still in the same position, glass in hand, unable to move.  
  
"So.. do you like the elfish wine?" He asked with a smile.  
  
"What?" I was confused, that elf was crazy! All time thinking he had gone, and he appeared all from the sudden ..and asked about drinks?? I looked at my glass.  
  
"This is juice" I almost couldn't speak with loud voice, so shocked I was..  
  
"And now you want me to believe that you didn't drink wine?" he went on smiling.  
  
"Maybe I drank too much.." I touched my head with my hand and then finally reacted.  
  
" I don't understand anything, Haldir"  
  
[2-You've reached the deepest part  
  
Of the secret in my heart  
  
I've known it from the start  
  
My only love]  
  
Great.. and now that song.. He walked towards me, slowly, looking directly at my eyes.  
  
"What is what you don't understand? Why I decided to stay? " He was too close again, and I was too nervous. I just nodded in reply. "But this was what you wanted, right? " His smile always there, making me feel embarrassed.  
  
"I have to go " I murmured , giving a step away. But he held my arm, and I had to turn around to face him again. "Please, Haldir.. don't make any ironic remark, any stupid comment about that conversation we had some time ago. I don't know what did I say that.." I stopped talking, he had a very strange look.  
  
"Just dance with me ,please"  
  
[3-I know how you feel inside  
  
I've been there before  
  
Somethin's changin' inside you  
  
And you don't know]  
  
But he slowly took my hand and led me to the dancing floor, where he put his arms around my waist and we started to dance.. that wine, that wine.. what was I doing? I should be shouting, angry, asking for explanations, asking "why are you playing with me like this?" But I was there, silent.  
  
[4- We were strangers  
  
Starting out on a journey  
  
Never dreaming  
  
What we'd have to go through  
  
Now here we are  
  
And I'm suddenly standing  
  
At the beginning with you]  
  
In that moment something forced me to look on my left, slowly.. Legolas was standing there.. all the magic of the moment with Haldir was gone.. because I saw Legolas gaze and I felt something strange inside me.. he had a look that.. no, it was impossible.. I was stopped and Haldir looked at me, then at Legolas. And he got separated from me.  
  
"Hello, Legolas.. let me try the wine of Mirkwood" he said, with a kind of happy voice. I was shocked.. maybe Haldir was playing with me.. if not, why that sudden change? What did break the dance? Why that sudden change of mood?  
  
[5-Don't say what you're about to say  
  
Look back before you leave my life  
  
Be sure before you close that door  
  
Before you roll those dice ]  
  
That night was too much for me. I felt stupid, I felt.. I didn't know how I felt, actually, with Legolas there, looking at me.. and Haldir, all from the sudden, ignoring me.. so I exploded.. yes, when you were bearing a situation too much, and although you're a shy girl who fears to face anybody.. yes, we all have our limits and I had reached it.  
  
"Ok, don't move, Haldir!" I shouted. He looked back in surprise. Also Legolas eyes stared at me, astonished. "I'm so tired of this game, Haldir.. you treat me bad, you treat me well.. you leave, you don't leave.. you begin a conversation with me and then leave me in the middle of the dance floor.. " Haldir looked so ashamed, and opened his mouth to say something, but Legolas spoke first.  
  
[6- When you have nothing at all  
  
You'll still have nothing to worry about  
  
Oh no...when you have nothing at all  
  
You'll still have nothing to worry about]  
  
"She's right. Haldir.. what's happening to you? I'm worried, Gandalf should know about all those sudden changes on you, this can't mean anything good.. maybe those events that are supposed to happen have something to see with this.. " Legolas and Haldir looked at each others. But I wasn't in the mood to talk.. somehow too drunk to hear stupid theories.  
  
"You know what?" I was talking to both of them. "I already lived too many stressing events for the past 3 days, and now I explode, yeas.. whatever is happening tonight, I don't care, I don't understand any of you, and.." I didn't find the proper words and I left the place. And of course, the two elves in a deep confusion.  
  
[7- La noche llego  
  
y retuvo del sol,   
  
el aire de fuego,   
  
calor y pasión.  
  
La noche llego   
  
y la luna embrujo,  
  
la màgica danza,  
  
que nos envolvió.  
  
Y con este ritmo   
  
la noche llego.]  
  
A/N: Don't worry, the party is not over yet! You'll find out more in the next chapter, coming very soon. 


	12. Dancing in the moonlight Part 3

**Disclaimer: I only own Zana*****  
  
Hello and thank you very much for all your reviews! I see some of you are inpatient because you want to know who will she end up with.. but this has to go a bit slowly, if not, it wouldn't be funny! But don't worry, I'll just say that sure some of them is for Zana.. but there are lots of more people in Mirkwood so it could be anybody (  
  
As you see, I'll follow the same song-paragraph I used in my pervious chapter.. and this is the last one about dance, for real.. and things will complicate a lot more.. (I'm a bad person, I know..  
  
Really, thank you very much for all your opinions and reviews, they mean a lot to me!  
  
Ok, those are the songs for the last part of the party: Set you free, by N Trance Crying in the rain, by Culture Beat Going under, by Evanescence Numb, by Linkin Park Inmortality, by Celine Dion Don't speak, by No Doubt  
  
****************************************************************  
  
... Y sin ti, es como dejar de sentir.  
  
Si no estás me siento tan sola  
  
¿Por qué te has marchado así?  
  
¿Por qué me has dejado aquí? ...  
  
- Si no estás- Belen Arjona ("If you're not here)  
  
I went out to breath fresh air in the big balcony. All doors and windows were opened so I could listen to the music in peace. But there wasn't peace in my heart. I hated to admit that, but I realised I was just a human who would never get anything else than friendship from an elf, whoever he was.. and I even didn't have a friendship but a relationship that could be compared to the ones I had seen in the TV series "Falcon Crest" when I was a small girl.. Those elves spoke to me only because of Gandalf's predictions, when they heard that they included them they became interested.. if nothing of that existed I would be just an habitant of Mirkwood and sure I wouldn't be living in the palace, but in the street. Those thoughts made me really angry. The slow songs had ended and I could hear a nice new one, less depressing. Just what I needed, maybe.. but why all songs talk about love?? Yeah, I needed more wine!  
  
[1-When I wake each morning  
  
And the storm beats down on me  
  
And I know we belong together  
  
Only love can set you free]  
  
Being free is what I needed, being free from those feelings and all those confusions.. I looked inside the saloon. It was really crowded, and.. what was happening there? With the dance music all elves were jumping like crazies! I couldn't help smiling.. those elegant beings, always so proud and confident.. and now most of them were drunk and they moved without control.. under the candle lights, the scene was so nice and I felt a bit better. Just more wine, a bit more.. and I would forget about everything.  
  
"I'm going to have fun" I said to myself, coming inside the room. I walked to a table, took a big glass of that sweet wine and drank it without breathing.. my head was dizzy, so dizzy.. and I had to keep still for a while before returning the glass to its place.  
  
I walked towards a group of elves, my intention was to show Legolas and Haldir that I didn't need them to have fun.. and I supposed that I would get another invitation to dance, after all, almost nobody was outside the dancing floor.  
  
Yes, I was drunk now.. drunk enough to accept the only invitation I got.. from Gimli! Fortunately, the music that was playing now wouldn't allow him to come close to me, so we started dancing as if it was the end of the world.. jumping, singing.. I suppose I was giving a terrible image, but.. who cares? All elves were also doing the same.. but some of them watched as and laughed.. yeah, a small dwarf and a tall human girl.. what a combination..  
  
[2- Stop that crying in the rain now  
  
No more crying in the rain  
  
Who said that crying in the rain  
  
Could ever wash away a lover's pain  
  
Wooh, oh, hoh]  
  
We stepped inside the crowd, where we couldn't be seen.. or this I hoped. But I forced myself to stay there, I had to show indifference to all those elves, that whatever would happen, I wouldn't stay sitting in a corner all night.. but the truth is that dancing with Gimli wasn't what I had dreamt, although I was drunk I felt a bit ashamed.. he was so wild and his jumps were disturbing me, he wasn't aware that I was there, so drunk he was... and suddenly I started wondering how come no elves had asked me to dance with them.. sure they thought I was even worse than a dwarf.. those negative feelings were invading me.. I needed more wine again..  
  
"Gimli, I'll go for a glass of wine!" I shouted, but he didn't pay attention to me. The tables were near from there and I repeated the same process.. drinking at once without breathing.. I knew that was a huge mistake because I never used to drink, and effects would be terrible for me. . but I didn't care.. I didn't care about anything.  
  
I returned to the dancing place, and I managed to find Gimli, who greeted me with a big jump again.. why was he doing that?? He would faint sooner or later, he wasn't so young to make those acrobatics. When I started to dance I noticed something was wrong.. I realised I wouldn't be able to keep myself standing there a lot more time, my senses were asleep because of alcohol.. and I became a bit scared, afraid of getting really sick..  
  
[3-i'm going under  
  
drowning in you  
  
i'm falling forever  
  
i've got to break through  
  
i'm going under]  
  
Ok, I felt bad. My head was spinning.. I touched Gimli's arm to call his attention.  
  
"Gimli, I have to stop... I'll go outside for a while!" but of course he was completely absent minded, too drunk to hear anything.  
  
I had to walk among all the dancing elves.. I was so dizzy, so nervous.. I wanted to leave, I only wanted that.. the ground was so slippery, because of all the drinks they had thrown there.. the dress was killing me, and my legs didn't obey.. when I was near from the main door my feet played a trick on me , I was going to fall in the ground, great.. all people staring at me, would laugh out loud with that scene.. I was so clumsy..  
  
But my back didn't beat on the ground , because two strong arms caught me when I was falling. I looked up to see Legolas smiling blue eyes.  
  
"I've been walking after you, didn't you hear me calling? Are you feeling well?" Slowly, he moved me until I stood up. I looked at him.  
  
"I'm going under.." I laughed at my own joke, if that was a joke.. I was just repeating the song's words.. but the effects of alcohol were making me turn into a completely different person. "Drowning in you.." I was whispering, still looking at him.. although I wasn't too stabile.  
  
"What's wrong?" He looked confused. He had to hold my arm or else I would have fallen again. "You're so drunk, Zana!" there was a big surprise tone in his voice.  
  
[4- can't you see that you're smothering me  
  
holding too tightly  
  
afraid to lose control  
  
cause everything that you thought I would be  
  
has fallen apart right in front of you]  
  
"I love this song, dance with me" I asked, trying to hug him. But he didn't move, refusing to take my hand.  
  
"You're too drunk, Zana. You should breath fresh air and walk a bit, and then go directly to bed"  
  
We looked at each other, I was completely out of control and the words came out from my mouth but I couldn't recognise myself on them.. I wasn't able to shut up, although I wanted.. but at the same time, I wanted to tell him all my feelings , since the first time I saw the movie.. I smiled a bit.  
  
"So do you want to walk with me outside, and then.. ?" But he became so serious and sharp, and interrupted me.  
  
"Shut up, please. You're not yourself now ..and you'll be sorry for all your words tomorrow" He said the last part of the phrase with a softer voice, pushing me away gently.  
  
"I won't be sorry.." I whispered, coming closer to him. No, definitely, I wasn't myself, the shy girl from Earth. Oh, the wine and its effects..  
  
Legolas didn't move or say anything, he was just looking at me with a strange expression on his face. This gave me the courage to go on talking.  
  
"Do you know how many times I've dreamed of this when I was at home? I can't believe I'm here with you!"  
  
All from the sudden, Legolas gaze left me and looked in the distance. With a movement of his hand, he called someone, who came running to help him.. but.. why did he had to call Haldir? And why all from the sudden the music and the songs were slow again??  
  
[5- 'Cos I have found a dream that must come true  
  
Every ounce of me must see it through  
  
But you are my only  
  
I'm sorry I don't have a role for love to play  
  
Hand over my heart I'll find my way  
  
I will make them give to me]  
  
I heard them speaking in elvish tongue, they both looking at me, worried. Then they changed into the common language.  
  
"She needs to go to bed" said Haldir, but Legolas disagreed.  
  
"Of course not! If she goes to bed right now she will become very sick.. she needs to walk and make the alcohol disappear exercising" Legolas looked at me, with a troubled expression. But I wasn't aware of almost anything.  
  
They were discussing for a while, and I turned around to look at the place, at the elves, at everything. But I found Gandalf's eyes, staring from the distance.. a disapproval gaze, and he moved his head. I could hear him inside my head.  
  
"What are you doing, Zana? Don't spoil things.. you're not this person.. you're a lot more important that you think.. you should be ashamed of yourself.. look what you've turned into.. are you really happy like this, fool girl? Soon I won't be near from you to help you, this mission is serious and I can't allow you to destroy it.. leave now and tomorrow think of what you've done.. you're special, please, don't ever repeat a behaviour like this"  
  
"No, I'm becoming crazy" I said to myself in loud voice, and the two elves looked at me. I stopped watching at the magician and the voice disappeared.. "What am I doing?" I felt a lot more awake, half of the alcohol effects were gone.. Legolas gave a step towards me, but I was too ashamed, my eyes full of tears. "No, I won't cry, I never cry in front of people.."  
  
I ran towards the main door, leaving the two elves , who looked at me with surprise. But I wasn't able to open the door, because I didn't realise, in my drunkenness, that this door wasn't the door, but a kind of big wardrobe.  
  
I broke down, I fell on my knees, covering my face with my hands, and all what I wanted in that moment was disappear.. with my acts nobody would respect me there again.. I had seen Legolas gaze , how he looked at me, with that strange look I noticed he didn't like me at all.. and Haldir.. who played with me, because I was just a human , and I wasn't enough for an elf.. but.. why was I thinking of those things? I was destroying myself with that pessimism.. well, at least I managed not to cry.. but I didn't want to see anything, so I kept my hands covering me.  
  
I felt two pair of arms helping me to stand up. Both Legolas and Haldir had come running as soon as I let myself fall in the ground. I looked at them , horribly ashamed.  
  
"I want this night to finish, wake up tomorrow and forget about everything" I whispered, my eyes closed.  
  
"Haldir, stay here with her, I'll tell my father that it's better to stop with the party.. all elves are drunk and this is going nowhere." Haldir nodded, and waited there with my, holding my arm, while Legolas disappeared in the crowd.  
  
"So I also spoiled you the party, Haldir.. now you hate me even more than before, right? "I looked at him ,and he looked back.  
  
"Why do you keep saying that I hate you?" The tone of his voice sounded so... sweet.. his eyes fixed on mines, brightening.  
  
[6- Don't speak  
  
I know just what you're saying  
  
So please stop explaining  
  
Don't tell me cause it hurts  
  
Don't speak  
  
I know what you're thinking  
  
I don't need your reasons  
  
Don't tell me cause it hurts]  
  
"And why are you playing with me like this? Why do yousometimes treat me as if I was shit, and another times it seems that.." My voice was just a whisper, I couldn't talk more.  
  
Now we were really close, I leaned against the wall to be able to keep myself standing, and I didn't have escape from him, facing me. Suddenly, something amazing happened, because his hand left my arm and slowly touched my face. Yes, I was drunk and imagining things, sure that wasn't happening. Now his hand was on my neck, and his face only few millimetres away from mine. I couldn't breath.  
  
"What are you doing, Haldir?" I asked, wondering if he would be able to hear my low voice. His eyes seemed to change from colour, and a sweet smile showed up on his lips.  
  
"I want to test how drunk you are.." he was whispering too, and I didn't have any idea of what was he doing, I was unable to move, talk, run or shout, I just kept waiting for.. for what? I preferred not to imagine it or my nerves would collapse and I would have a strange reaction. I could feel him so so close and..  
  
"OOOOh, by all the mines of Moria!!" A strong voice behind us made Haldir jump away from me. Gimli was shouting out loud, and Haldir looked at him with a killing gaze. I reacted, as if I had woken up from a dream, and I needed some seconds to realize about what had happened.. was that real? Well, sure , because Gimli was making fun out of that.  
  
"You were going to kiss the human! Haldir of Lorien!" His laughs invaded the whole room , the music already stopped.  
  
"You.. dwarf.. shut up and go away" Haldir spoke with hard voice. And in that moment Legolas showed up.  
  
"What happens here?" He asked, with curiosity, when he saw Gimli crawling in the ground, laughing and laughing. I shrugged, Haldir didn't speak and all the magic of the moment was away as soon as I saw Legolas eyes.  
  
"The party is over, you all can leave" I felt ashamed under his gaze, although fortunately he hadn't seen what had happened.. had Haldir almost kissed me? Was that part of a game ,one of his strange ways to treat humans? Or I just imagined everything because of wine? Yes, it was wine, because I looked at Haldir and he was completely different now, as if nothing had happened.  
  
"Good night" I said, leaving them there.. nobody followed me and I went to my room. Sitting on the bed, my head was spinning and I felt so depressed.. the hangover would be terrible in the morning , for sure..  
  
A knock on the door.. I held my breath. Someone opened the door before I could reply.  
  
"Legolas! Something is wrong?" He came inside my room and gave me a cup with a strange liquid.  
  
"If you drink this, tomorrow you'll feel a lot better" I took the cup and looked at him.  
  
"Thank you, Legolas.. for everything.. and I'm very sorry for.."  
  
"Shh.. don't speak, Zana. Tomorrow you'll be yourself again and we'll be able to talk. Sleep well" He closed the door. I drank the warm medicine and put the pyjamas.. or whatever it was. And as soon as I stepped inside the bed, I fell asleep. 


	13. What happens after the wine of the elves

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana. *******************  
  
I suppose you don't expect this chapter so fast, right? Well, I've been at home all time and I wanted to advance the story a bit.. things are becoming more and more complicated with Zana, Legolas and Haldir.. well, now i want to hear your suggestions.. who of you like more Haldir or who would prefer Legolas for this girl.. ok? ( Or someone thought about Thranduil? (  
  
Thank you for all your reviews!!! Next chapter is coming soon, I promise!  
  
******************************************************************  
  
My heart is low, my heart is so low  
  
As only a woman's heart can be  
  
As only a woman's, as only a woman's  
  
As only a woman's heart can know  
  
Only a woman's heart- Eleanor McEvoy  
  
When I woke up the sun was already shining up in the sky, filling my room with its light. I didn't feel sick, something amazing after all the wine I had drunk . I sat on my bed, trying to scare away that laziness that invaded me. Suddenly, the memories of last night came to my head, but they weren't clear enough.. at home, when I went out with my friends I never used to drink, maybe just one cocktail , nothing else. So I never had experienced a real hangover that would had deleted my mind , like this one.. but now I wasn't at home.. any mistake could spoil relationships with Mirkwood habitants, they were different from humans on Earth, they could been scandalised, scared or.. disappointed.. the look on Legolas eyes.. last night.. yes, I had a flashback.  
  
I became nervous, I really wasn't able to remember the dance in a logical sequence! "Calm down, Zana.." I put my hands on my head, taking a deep breath. Nothing. Only a strange feeling of .. what was that? The only sensation that came was a bad feeling.. what had happened?  
  
I filled the bath with hot water and stepped inside.. I covered myself with lots of amounts of gel and shampoo, trying to remove all bad memories even from my outside.. but if there were bad memories, the truth is that I couldn't tell.. "What the hell had happened?" Only when I was really nervous or worried I used to talk to myself in loud voice.  
  
I went out from the bath and covered myself with a towel, while I was choosing the most comfortable dress I could find. The choice was a nice green one. I put it on, and then looked for my watch, I had lost all notion of time.. Eleven in the morning.. great, I had missed breakfast.. and I was hungry, to my surprise.. so the medicine that Legolas gave me was powerful. Anyway, I was too ashamed to ask for food to someone there.. but.. ashamed of what? I wanted to remember, I was becoming crazy!  
  
I couldn't stay all day inside my room, so I decided to walk in the sun . The palace was really big and I still didn't know all places. I became curious about Mirkwood habitants, their homes and their way of leaving.. but I couldn't find out myself alone, I needed a guide or someone who led me.  
  
After walking for some minutes, I chose a place in front of the small lake, under a huge tree. It was awesome, I wished I had my camera there. Sitting on the grass, looking at the green water, I tried to relax and bring memories to my head, but only the dinner part was clear.. and the dance with Legolas, before I was drunk for real.. yes, he was so cute, sweet and.. well, what could I say? I really felt going under when I heard the king saying "thank you" after we stopped dancing.. all the magic that had wrapped us had fallen apart.  
  
My eyes filled with tears, and I tried to calm down.. but I just couldn't, I felt so down and , for the first time since I had arrived there, I had the urgent need of crying. I covered my face with my hands , tears falling down. I didn't remember the last time I felt such a pain, but not a physical pain, a spiritual one, I could say. It hurt deep inside.  
  
I felt a hand on my shoulder. Great, just when I had a horrible red face, wet, full of tears, someone had found me. I looked up and met Haldir's gaze. He looked so worried and kneeled in front of me. His hand moving along my arm, and then he tried to take my hand, but something made him stop. Sure because I had made a mess last night and now he was avoiding all kind of contact with me.  
  
I looked at him, I had already stopped crying and I was a bit more calmed. We stared at each other for some time, it seemed that he didn't dare to speak with me but.. why? What did I do that was so evil to cause situations like that?  
  
"What's wrong, Zana? "he asked softly, his blue eyes analysing my face, but I avoided him , staring at some point in the distance, I was so ashamed but I still didn't know why.  
  
"I can't remember what did I say or make last night after I got drunk.." my voice was shaking, uf.. and he smiled kindly.  
  
"So this is all the "big" problem?" I watched at him and nodded.  
  
"Do you know that the wine of the elves has a strange effect on humans?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Somehow I felt better, and Haldir noticed it, because he moved from his place and sat next to me.  
  
"You see.. when a human gets drunk with this wine, he has dreams being awake.. like visions that are not real." He looked at me.  
  
"So.. you're telling me that whatever I have in my memory, is everything fake? Just a vision?" He nodded, and I went on asking. "Can you please tell me, then ,what the hell happened yesterday ?"  
  
Haldir smiled, his blue eyes looking into the water.  
  
"You fell asleep" He said, simply. I laughed, and then I felt ashamed.  
  
"Don't lie to me, I'm not stupid. Were my actions so horrible that you can't tell me?"  
  
"No" he sighed. "Nothing bad happened yesterday because you just were dancing with Gimli , and then Merwen carried you to your room.. so I don't understand why you were crying and why you make a whole world out of this when there's nothing to worry about, Zana " There was a suspicious tone in his voice, he was lying for sure.  
  
"And then why did Legolas bring me a medicine and not Merwen?" Haldir looked at me surprised, but didn't say anything.  
  
"So this is my theory." I went on "Something bad happened, something shamming you don't want to tell me, because it would be too embarrassing for me. I got too drunk , I made something horrible and now nobody wants to talk to me. So you came here to find out if I remember things from the dance, right? You were afraid that I would make something crazy.. so please, Haldir, tell me what did I do that was so horrible? Did I hurt somebody?" I was worried by then ,because his look was terrible, as if I almost had discovered something.  
  
"What?!" I shouted. But he didn't reply. "And I think you still have to explain me why did you finally decide to stay" And again I was talking about something I shouldn't talk about.  
  
"Gandalf asked me" he finally replied, but his answer made me feel bad, very bad. And I didn't know why.  
  
"oh.." Yeah, I only was able to say this. Anyway, what did I expect? Of course, Gandalf was the reason.  
  
Haldir stood up and started to walk back to the palace, turning once to tell me something. I kept my breath. But his words weren't the ones I wanted to hear.. but what did I really want to hear? I was becoming crazy, too crazy.  
  
"If you feel better now, I must leave, I have things to do" I watched at him as he left the place. He always used to leave.. and I always was the one who had to stay thinking or complaining.. and wishing to see him again.. but.. what was I saying??  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----  
  
Haldir was surprised that Zana didn't remember anything. Obviously, she had drunk more than he had thought at first.. and of course the lie about the wine of elves wouldn't work with her.. she wasn't stupid..  
  
As he was walking back to the palace, he was thinking of what had just happened, how he had found her crying under the tree. Maybe she should know about all details, in order to feel better, but this would mean telling her more things than the things he wanted to explain her.. he got lost, out of control, last night at the party, something made him do that, almost kissing her! If Gimli wouldn't have been there.. "No, I won't think about this" he was whispering to himself. If he had kissed her he would have caused a mess.. after all, she was in love with Legolas, obviously..  
  
When he heard himself saying this, he stopped walking. "Why did I say this?" And suddenly he felt bad... a strange feeling he never had before, something new for him. What was the meaning of that? How did he reach that conclusion about Zana and Legolas? It was stupid, they didn't show any kind of feeling for each other, and Legolas was a prince, how could he love her? And how could she love him? That was impossible.  
  
"Am I jealous?" He laughed at himself, trying not to think about that . It was just a party, where people had drunk too much and music had made strange effects.. this is what happened in those kind of celebrations, nothing else. But he wasn't too convinced with his words. Something had made him think that Zana loved Legolas.. that look when they were dancing and she was staring at the prince..  
  
When he came inside the palace he met Legolas, who was looking for them.  
  
"Where are Gimli and Zana?" he asked Haldir, who looked terribly confused. "What's wrong?" His blue eyes narrowed.  
  
"I've been with Zana now" Haldir walked with the prince. Legolas looked at him with surprise.  
  
"And? Where is she?" He tried to look indifferent, but his voice betrayed him, they both stooped walking and Haldir took a deep breath, looking at the ground and then at his friend.  
  
"I found her crying by the lake"  
  
"What?" Legolas eyes opened, with a troubled expression . Haldir told him about the encounter. Legolas became a bit nervous with last night's details, obviously, he had missed the part that made Zana feel so bad. Yes, Haldir was hiding some important pieces of that puzzle, although he decided no to ask the elf about them.  
  
"It's evident that something hurt her yesterday, Haldir" They both went on walking, none of them spoke. When they reached to the main hall, in front of the dinning room, they heard a loud voice coming downstairs from the first floor.  
  
"Good morning, elves!!" Gimli shouted, walking towards them. "Great party yesterday! Yes! Good wine, good music!!" he was beating on Legolas arm, laughing. Then, his small eyes stopped on Haldir, and the elf froze. Gimli. Of course. He had seen everything. "Haldir.. if my memory works well.. you had a great time yesterday.. "  
  
"Really?" Haldir tried to look calmed. The dwarf smiled evilly . Legolas looked at both of them, confused.  
  
"Legolas , thank you for the party. We had a very good time" Gimli spoke with a sarcastic voice.  
  
"Thank you, but.. what happens here? Haldir?" Legolas asked, inpatient.  
  
"I must leave, see you at lunch" Haldir left, murmuring something.  
  
"Haldir!!" Legolas shouted, but he got no reply. Gimli shrugged.  
  
"He's in love. Let's eat something, I'm hungry" Gimli touched his stomach.  
  
But Legolas was shocked, and stood there, staring at the dwarf with freezing eyes.  
  
"What did you say, Gimli?" Legolas couldn't believe that.  
  
"That I'm hungry, elf!" He sounded rude, like all the times he was hungry.  
  
"No, the other thing you said, don't make fun of me, be serious and tell me why did you say that"  
  
Gimli laughed, almost falling in the ground.  
  
"By all the mines of the Middle Earth!! You also love her!!" And he left, laughing out loud in the halls. A group of elves looked at him and smiled.  
  
But Legolas wasn't smiling at all. He felt as if he had fallen in a river with cold water after laying in the sun.. he wasn't able to judge or think clearly, a reasonable explanation for Gimli's statement.. Things were getting complicated and he was very confused. This girl had arrived three days ago.. only.. and she already had made things so.. but how was possible that Haldir loved her? "He doesn't love her!" he found himself talking in loud voice. But why would it be that bad if Haldir loved her? Maybe he was right about destiny and it was written that they should be together.. so if that was the meaning of Gandalf's predictions, then the mystery of the mission was solved and he should be so happy.. but he wasn't.. "Why?" He was again talking to himself. "I must see Gandalf".  
  
He ran upstairs looking for the magician. Breathless, he knocked on his door, but got no reply. Worried, his hand opened it and found the bedroom empty.. only a white envelope on the bed, with the word "Zana" written on it.. of course he didn't read the content and left it where it was. As soon as he went outside, Gandalf showed up with his bag packed and over his shoulders. He took the envelope and brought it to Zana's room, passing it through the space under the wooden door.  
  
"Good luck, my friends.. be happy and please come back soon" And with those words he left Mirkwood. 


	14. Time for changes

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana.  
  
I know you all are becoming inpatient about the elves and who will she end up with, but be patient!( Things can't be rushed and this will be a very long story, there will be enough time for lots of surprises! So I also have to include boring chapters like this one, just to change scenarios a bit.. )  
  
Again, thank you very much for all your reviews!!  
  
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This is my life  
  
its not what it was before  
  
all these feelings i've shared  
  
and these are my dreams  
  
that i'd never lived before  
  
somebody shake me  
  
cuz i  
  
i must be sleeping  
  
So far away- Staind  
  
I looked at the green water of the lake. A flashback came to my head.. I had met Haldir at the party.. I had felt happy when I saw him.. but why, if some minutes before I was in heaven dancing with Legolas? But that was stupid, I had only arrived there three days ago, I had only spent there three short days! What would happen after some weeks? Crazy, I was going to become crazy. "Haldir or Legolas.." I whispered. "Why am I choosing?" I stood up and walked towards the palace, scaring away all those thoughts from my head.  
  
I opened the door of my room and found a white envelope waiting for me. That was strange, someone had passed it under the door. I picked it up and sat on a chair in the balcony, under the sun. My fingers were shaking a bit, the only words written there were "Zana", so it could come from anybody.. somehow I wished it was from one of the elves.. but to my big surprise, I had got news from the one I less expected. I read Gandalf's letter.  
  
"Dear Zana, probably you're surprised with this letter , and I apologise for not giving you it in person.. but I saw something last night, at the party, that made me take this decision.. only the king knows about my sudden departure, and it will be like this until you'll tell them what had happened.. I'm sure you won't show this letter to any of them, because I'll talk about something embarrassing.. so you, and only you, will have to fix things with yourself.. you know what I mean.. or maybe not, so I'll explain.  
  
I thought that I was here to help you to find your mission, something that will change the future on Earth.. but I was wrong, and Galadriel helped me to understand it.. something great is waiting for you, but at the same time you will have to take a very difficult decision. . and I'm not talking about a love decision. Yes, don't be surprised.. I've seen you yesterday at the party and I know what it's inside your heart.. you're confused and you have a battle inside you.. but I'll warn you about something.. you're too focused on heart, you're forgetting who are you and what are you doing here.. find out your journey soon, Zana.. those are not holidays. I still can't say if your arrival here is related to Haldir or Legolas, no one can tell.. the only sure thing I can tell you is that soon you'll have to leave to a distant place, and your journey will be a very difficult journey, you'll need good friends to support you and you shouldn't play a game with hearts, dances and arguments.. find friends here because you'll need them . You need someone to trust on, not someone with a lot of doubts about himself.. so please, Zana, find the correct path.. I'm leaving to let you decide by yourself because it's only you the one who is able to do it.. take some persons, only a few of them, for the journey.. where ? I can't tell.. you'll discover it soon.. good luck, my friend, never give up.. and if everything goes well, we'll meet again. Yours, Gandalf "  
  
I was shocked.. I had to read it three times.. I didn't like the effect it caused on me.. what did he want to say with that? That I should forget about elves, love and so on.. and I should only find a kind of soldiers or protectors to travel with me? And that journey.. how would I find out where to go? I was also ashamed of myself.. I had been all time thinking about romantic events , and forgot about the real reason of my arrival.. Gandalf was right.. from now on, things were going to change and my life would get even more complicated.. and I was sure that neither of the elves would join me in that trip.. and I would have to find some volunteers , and I would be alone and.. what if I failed? What would happen? I was so scared that I couldn't think . I checked the time, I was hungry.. it was lunch time already, and I would have to meet the elves in the dinning room.. "Well, from now on I'll be serious and I'll start planning the mission.. if I find out which is it.."  
  
When I came in the dinning room only Legolas and Gimli were sitting on our table.. I blushed when they greeted me, and they went on with their conversation. Gimli gave me a strange look I didn't understand, and then Legolas also checked me.  
  
"What's wrong? " I asked in a sharp voice, because I always hated when people looked at me without giving explanations. Legolas looked at Gimli, with a warning gaze, and the dwarf shut up.  
  
" I was wondering how do you feel, Zana.." Legolas looked at me, and smiled kindly. Gimli coughed.. with a suspicious cough..  
  
"I feel very well, thanks.. what happens here? You both are also angry or upset because of something I did last night?" It was funny the way they both watched at me.  
  
"What do you mean?" Legolas asked, leaving the fork on the table.  
  
"Well, I can't remember anything about yesterday after I got drunk.. " I blushed deeply again. " And I have to admit that I feel a bit ashamed.. and I don't know why.. well, I mean, I'm so confused.."  
  
" I could tell you some things that would make your ideas more clear.." the dwarf sang with a mysterious voice, but Legolas got angry and ordered him to shut up. But it was too late, I was already curious.  
  
"What happened yesterday, Gimli? Haldir didn't want to tell me and he even invented a stupid story, so please, someone tell me!" I was almost shouting. And in that moment Haldir came in the dinning room , and I saw Gimli laughing and moving his head.  
  
"Yes, yes, things are getting interesting!!" The dwarf was having a very good time and I didn't know why. Legolas looked at me and I looked at him, we both confused .  
  
Haldir sat down and gave a serious look to the dwarf. Then he looked at me and Legolas.  
  
"I was asking them what happened yesterday, because you didn't want to tell me, Haldir" I decided to find out the truth and I would insist until they all would get so tired of me. Haldir was pale.. as if he was afraid of something, and suddenly he looked at Gimli. "Oh.." I went on talking. "So Gimli knows something I should know and you're afraid that he would speak.. and you, Legolas, you also know it?" Legolas looked at me and moved his head.  
  
"I don't know more things than you, Zana.. but this is going too far away.. Haldir or Gimli, tell us what's wrong here. She has all the right to know it, and I must know it too, because if you keep the mystery this means that I'm involved too.. so please, talk now" He was becoming inpatient. I was trying to read on Haldir's face and all I could discover was that he was really nervous.  
  
"Legolas, this doesn't have anything to do with you, I promise" Haldir spoke, and Gimli nodded. "So if you don't mind, I would like to talk about it later, only with her" he pointed at me. Legolas expression changed into an upset one.. he was controlling himself and finally took a deep breath.  
  
"OK, Haldir. I believe you and I won't ask more. But if I discover that the thing that hurted Zana could affect more people.. then you'll be sorry for this" Both elves looked at each others, and Haldir smiled.  
  
"Be calmed, Legolas. It's a stupid thing and it won't cause troubles to anybody else.."  
  
"But it will hurt somebody then.. " I said, a bit scared.. what did I do at that party?? Haldir looked in my eyes.  
  
" I still don't know if it will hurt you" A mysterious smile on his lips.  
  
We went on having lunch, neither of us speaking.. I wasn't too hungry by then, and I stopped eating soon. I needed to go out and calm a bit, I was so nervous, wondering what would Haldir tell me.. Legolas looked at me.  
  
"You look nervous, what's wrong?"  
  
"And you ask me what's wrong? Finally I'll know all the truth about yesterday and you ask me what's wrong? " I took a deep breath. "Only one thing makes me happy.. that the only two persons who know about it are Gimli and Haldir so nobody else here will hate me too"  
  
"Nobody hates you, Zana" Gimli spoke so fast, giving me an angry look. "Stop saying those things because we all are getting tired of your victim role.." I couldn't believe that the dwarf had said that.  
  
I stood up and left the table, the dinning room and the palace. I wanted to walk and disappear until dinner time. And I did so. I went to that place under the tree, and it was so comfortable that I laid down and closed my eyes, half asleep.  
  
--------------- --------------- ----------------------- ----------------  
  
"I don't like how things look like right now, friends " Legolas looked at Haldir. "I thought you trusted me, and you, Gimli" he looked at the dwarf. "After all what we lived during the war.. "  
  
"I didn't want to say anything in front of her because she would feel uncomfortable, Legolas" Gimli spoke, but receiving a beat from Haldir, the typical "shut up" beat on the ribs. The dwarf complained. "No, Haldir, I'll tell everything and finish with this childish behaviour, I'm sorry, but Legolas is my friend and I don't have secrets for him"  
  
"Then I already finished with lunch. I see that nobody here respects private life of anybody" Haldir stood up and left the room. But before opening the door, he heard Gimli shouting at him.  
  
"And you play with the feelings of people, which is a lot worse than being honest with my best friend". After the dwarf spoke, Haldir opened the door, he was furious and left the palace, looking for a peaceful place where to think.. and hide.  
  
At the table, Legolas sat next to Gimli, and made sure that nobody else was listening, considering that the dwarf's voice was too loud and any elf could hear it.  
  
"Please, tell me what happened yesterday, be brief but don't forget any detail. I made a promise, I promised I would protect Zana and I can't do it if there are secrets hidden that hurt her.. "  
  
"I understand it, so this is why I decided to speak. Zana would feel bad if I had revealed this in front of her.. it seems she forgot about this.. event.. " Gimli looked in the distance, trying to remember everything in a correct way.. after all, he also was so drunk.. but his memory was used to those alcohol effects, and it worked perfectly.  
  
"So.. tell me then.. " Legolas was doing his best to control his inpatient mood.  
  
"Ok, this is what I remember.. I remember you looking for Zana.. then .. then everything is so unclear.. maybe you danced with her?" the elf nodded, and Gimli went on with the story. " Well.. then all I can remember is that she came to dance with me.. yes, we were dancing for some time.. and when I wanted to ask her something, she wasn't there, she had disappeared! "  
  
"Yes, and I found her.. and I called Haldir and we were standing there helping her with the drunkenness.. but what I want to know is what happened when I went to talk to my father, because when I returned you were laughing out loud, Haldir was shocked and Zana.." he remembered her gaze and he hurried Gimli to finish the tale, if it could be called like this.. The dwarf looked at him and sighed.  
  
" Please, now you should calm down.. you see, when I went out from the crowd, and a nice slow song was sounding, I saw Haldir and Zana.." Legolas froze.  
  
"Please, go on! Don't keep me like this!"  
  
"Haldir was trying to kiss Zana, Legolas" With those words, Legolas became so pale.  
  
"So you were right, Gimli.. he loves her.. "  
  
"And what about you? Why are you so shocked? You should be happy for them ,if that was the case.."  
  
" And Zana was.. trying to kiss him too?"  
  
"My friend.. my memory can't remember more details.. but I can assure you that the girl was even more shocked than you're now.. believe me, she wouldn't have made any move.."  
  
"What do you know?" Legolas voice became louder.  
  
"Oh, no.. you can't be in love with her too, Legolas.. what happens to both of you? She's a normal girl who had arrived here only three days ago, elf, three!! You all are crazy!!"  
  
"I'm not in love with her, Gimli. And if they love each other, and if this is the meaning of her arrival in Mirkwood.. then everything is solved." And he thought to himself " This is why Gandalf left.. everything has finished now.. " Legolas tried to look calmed and serious, but his friend knew him too well. Anyway he didn't say anything to the elf. Legolas looked so different in that moment, as if a light was shining inside him.. he didn't like the look he had in his eyes.. like before the battle in Helms Deep..  
  
"But I still have to discover why did Gandalf leave.." Gimli opened his eyes.  
  
"Gandalf left? When??" Legolas explained him all what he had seen, and the dwarf stood up .  
  
"Legolas, then we must ask Zana, she has the letter!"  
  
"If Gandalf wanted us to know about the content, he would have written to all of us, not only to her.. she will tell us if she wants. And I already talked to my father and he also knows about this departure.. things are changing now, Gimli.. new times are coming and life is not a party any more.. we have to prepare now for what is coming. "  
  
Legolas and Gimli left the dinning room, getting lost somewhere inside the palace.  
  
"Gimli, promise me something.. that you won't ever talk about love or romantic events, ok? Those are confusing things and we all must think clearly about everything." Legolas looked at him with pleading eyes.  
  
"I promise" But the dwarf was hiding a smile.. he knew that things wouldn't be so easy and that sooner or later, Legolas would attack. After all, he was a warrior and he wasn't used to loose the battles. 


	15. I hate my heart

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana.  
  
And this is another fast chapter! I know I'm complicating things too much, but I love complication ( I hope you'll like this one too! Thanks for the reviews!!You all are so nice!  
  
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If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
  
Time after time  
  
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting  
  
Time after time  
  
-Time after time - Eva Cassidy  
  
When I opened my eyes I was so scared.. at first I didn't realise where I was.. it was dark, only the moonlight in the sky.. and the stars, shining over the green lake.. I had fallen asleep after lunch.. how was that possible? Those things never happened to me. I sat down and took a deep breath, checking my watch. Eight , and it was already so dark.. maybe the seasons were changing fast there, and winter was coming.  
  
I decided to stay there for some more time.. the dinner would be served soon, but the view was too nice to leave it so soon. I didn't know if they would be looking for me, and I remembered what Haldir said.. I felt nerves in my stomach. So he would finally talk to me and reveal all details. That was too much for me..  
  
Suddenly I started to think about what had happened during lunch.. I left them alone, so maybe they already had been talking about that.. no, I couldn't show up at dinner now, I would be too ashamed.. I decided I would go directly to the kitchen, ask for a sandwich and then go to my bedroom.  
  
I started to walk back, slowly, lost in my thoughts.. and I noticed a presence near, under the moonlight.. sure someone who was looking for me.. maybe they were worried.. after all, I had been lost for six hours.. the shadow approached, my heart beating so fast. I stopped, just to hear the steps better. And I listened.. but it was so silent.. and I became scared.. what if not all elves were good elves? What if someone wanted to hurt me? Uf, I had a big imagination, and I laughed at myself. And then my heart stopped beating, I jumped when I faced the mysterious elf.  
  
"Haldir! One day you'll kill me!" I walked towards him, he had also stopped.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I have been looking for you all afternoon, we all were worried!" He was a bit angry.  
  
"I just fell asleep, it wasn't my intention" I looked at the sky, avoiding his gaze. "We have to go to the dinning room, they're waiting for us" And I started walking.  
  
"Wait" he said softly. "I would like to speak with you now" I looked at him and I met his eyes, with a different shine under the moonlight.  
  
"Well.. I suppose I want to hear the horrible truth.. so tell me then.." We stared at each other for a while, and finally he walked towards a path rounded by trees, that ended in that wonderful lake.  
  
"Come with me, we'll sit there" And we walked together, in silence. Sometimes I felt his gaze on me, and I couldn't help feeling so shy.  
  
When we reached the place I let an exclamation go out from my mouth. That place was awesome and made me breathless.. he noticed it, and smiled. Then he sat in the white marble bench, and looked at me.  
  
"Sit with me, Zana" And I went there and did it. For some seconds he didn't speak, and I was staring at the landscape.. the moon was reflected in the water, and the huge trees rounded us.. the palace couldn't be seen and there was a nice silence. I sighed, nervous.  
  
"Ok, Haldir.. I think that it's better that you talk to me soon, they're waiting for us and I want to know everything."  
  
"I think that after this conversation things will be a lot different for you" He spoke slowly, in a low voice, looking in the distance. "Because yesterday at night my behaviour was.. well, I will be apologising all time" He smiled, watching me . I was speechless, waiting for the bad news.. and he took a deep breath.  
  
"Haldir.." he looked at me again. "Please, you can't imagine how bad I feel knowing that maybe I spoiled everything, knowing that maybe from now on I'll have to leave this place and be alone and.."  
  
"What are you saying?" He interrupted me with a sweet smile. "You won't have to leave Mirkwood!" I looked at him and couldn't help smiling.  
  
"Those are good news indeed.. but please.. tell me." He nodded and then turned around a bit, in order to look directly to my eyes.  
  
"Zana, you got so drunk yesterday.. and Legolas had to call me because he wasn't able to help you alone.. you were falling all time, and he had to talk to his father to stop the party, so I held you while we waited for him.." he made a pause, still staring at me. I was paralysed, my memory working so hard, and some flashbacks came to my head. The sight of Haldir so close to me reminded me of something that happened at the party.. " And while we were alone, I got lost, I can't explain it, something forced me to.." He was having a bad time.  
  
"Please, don't worry, and tell me.. I have an idea of what happened, Haldir" he looked surprised and ashamed. "But I'm not sure, so you must go on talking.."  
  
"Zana, I. I wanted to kiss you" The silence grew up, so shocked I was.. and I remembered everything.. yes, Haldir, touching my face, my neck.. his lips so close to mines.. all what I had felt.. and Gimli discovering us.. now everything was clear, now I knew why he had kept silence in front of Legolas.. he was so ashamed and I was so.. I didn't know how I was, because I couldn't stop staring at him.  
  
"Haldir.. was that one of your games? " I asked, but my voice was shaking too much. He looked surprised.  
  
"Which games?"  
  
"You wanted to kiss me because you wanted to make me feel ashamed, or you wanted me to have a bad time, am I right? " Haldir's gaze became angry, and he sat closer to me. I froze again , unable to move.  
  
"Why do you always think that I would hurt you on purpose? I never played with you, Zana.. last night I really meant that" Now I was expecting him to repeat that.. his hand on my face, on my neck.. but he didn't move. " Zana, I can't explain last night's behaviour, but I promise you it won't happen again. A party is a party and we all acted in a strange way" He was close to me, yes, very close, and to my great surprise, I really wanted him to kiss me! What was happening to me?  
  
"Ok.. a party is a party.. lets say we weren't ourselves.. don't worry. I also did some stupid things and today I think different" I whispered, trying to react. He didn't move. What was he waiting for?  
  
I looked at the ground and then stood up. He followed me with his gaze.  
  
"We have to go to the dinning room, Haldir." But he didn't stand up. "Haldir?"  
  
"What if I told you that I know something about you?" He asked me, with a mysterious voice. I held my breath, and he stood up too. "What if I tell you that I know that you're confused about something? About someone?"  
  
"I don't know what are you talking about.." I stuttered. I just wanted to leave. Well, the good thing is that although I had blushed it couldn't be noticed, trees were hiding moonlight. And the elf gave a step towards me.  
  
"I know your feelings about an elf" He said, with a kind voice and, at the same time, angry. Yes, he knew I felt confused about him! And he hated that idea because I was human.. I felt so sad, so so sad.. he hated that a girl like me had some feelings towards an important elf like him. I was almost crying.  
  
"Haldir, I'm sorry if this hurts you or if this makes you hate me more. I don't know where did you get this idea from, but I assure you that I would never do anything that.."  
  
"Zana" He interrupted me again. " I can't understand you.. you act as if nothing happened, and I saw everything yesterday.. it was so clear to me and you should admit it, I'm not stupid, neither of us is stupid!" He was terribly angry in that moment, and I felt so small. And I was speechless.  
  
He started to walk around the bench, looking at me. And he stopped again, close to me.  
  
"I can't understand how is it possible that this happened only three days after your arrival.. it's as if you had brought those feelings with your from the other world.. I can't understand it but at the same time I see it possible, because.." He stopped talking and then breathed strongly. "Ok, this conversation is going too far away, I just wanted you to know that I know "it", Zana"  
  
"And you hate it, right?" I was so sad, so angry. I hated that he hated me.. yeah, lots of "hate" inside my head. But if I liked Legolas, why did I feel so bad by then? My eyes were already full of tears, and Haldir looked at me with surprise.  
  
"If I hate what?" He looked confused. And I couldn't bear that more, I went separated from him and sighed.. I wanted to shout but my voice didn't obey me, so it sounded like a whisper.  
  
"You hate that I have a kind of feelings towards you.." I began to cry and left the place running as fast as I could.  
  
----------------- -------------- ----------------- -----------------  
  
Haldir stood there, completely shocked. "But I was talking about your feelings towards Legolas.." He whispered, also unable to shout at her in the distance.. what did he had just heard? Was that real? All time he was talking about the prince, about how she looked at him in the party, while they were dancing.. about how she looked at him everywhere.. but.. he had to sit down.. he was too confused and puzzled.. he couldn't believe that.. Zana had just told him that she was starting to feel something about him? " No, she must be wrong "  
  
He began to walk, slowly.. he wasn't hungry after that conversation, and he thought about going directly to his room.. but that would be suspicious, yes.. no, he wasn't Haldir of Lorien ,the Haldir who was always so self confident, so arrogant.. he looked like a simple mortal, who wasn't able to react after something shocking.. never before in his whole life he had felt like this.. never. He went on walking, thinking about how to act during dinner.. that would be complicated.  
  
----------------- ---------------------------------- ------------------ ---- ------ -------------------  
  
Legolas found Zana crying, and he stopped her, so worried. She tried to escape, but he held her arm gently. She looked at him and then she did something unexpected. She hugged him and went on crying. He wrapped her with his arms and spoke to her in elvish tongue, without realising it.. that girl was amazing.. she always managed to surprise him.. and he supposed she had just spoken to Haldir, and now she was suffering the consequences.. but he didn't ask anything, he just held her for a long time until she calmed down. His hands moving along her head, her hair.. and her body so close to his that he couldn't move.  
  
---------------- ---------------- ----------------------- ---- ------------- --  
  
I was hugging Legolas, how could I do that? What would he think of me? I felt so ashamed, so stupid.. I was so confused, because now that I was in Legolas arms, all the feelings about Haldir were gone.. Legolas had always been "the one".. but anyway, something inside me changed every time I faced Haldir.. that was so confusing, how could I like two elves? What would Haldir think of me now? Why, why did I say that? I separated from him, his eyes staring at me in big surprise.  
  
"What's wrong, Zana?" his voice was so sweet.. I couldn't look at him.  
  
"I did something I shouldn't have done.. I'm becoming crazy and I don't know what I want.. it seems that I have two personalities who act different depending on who am I with.. and I don't like this side of myself, no.." Legolas looked confused.  
  
"What do you mean? I can't understand you.. and it can't be so bad, right? " He put his hand on my shoulder, and I smiled sadly.  
  
"You can't imagine how bad it is, Legolas.. for a person like me.. " I dried my tears, and sighed.  
  
"Nothing that comes from you can be so bad, Zana" he said , again with his sweet voice.. and I couldn't believe that he was telling me such a nice things.. my heart was beating so fast and all I wanted was to kiss him.. but stop, stop.. in less than one hour I wanted to kiss two elves? I was crazy already! Gandalf was right, I was becoming lost.  
  
"Legolas, I'm sorry but I can't have dinner now.. I'll go to my room, ok? " I looked at him and when he nodded, I started walking upstairs.  
  
"Zana" I turned back. " I want to talk to you, tonight.. is it possible? Maybe at midnight?"  
  
That was too much, yes.. but I didn't think, I just said "Of course". What was I doing? When I finally came in my room, I washed my face and sat on my bed.. I saw an apple I had left from breakfast and ate it.. I would need forces for the night that was waiting for me. 


	16. Elves and constellations

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana.  
  
What I promised, the new chapter : ) Yes, I love complicating things! For this one you should download a song by Boston, called "Didn't mean to fall in love". I've just discovered it today and I love it.  
  
Again, thank you all for the reviews! Tomorrow is my last day here, again back to university, so be patient until next weekend!  
  
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Better stand tall  
  
when they're calling you out  
  
Don't bend, don't break,  
  
baby, don't back down  
  
- It's my life- Bon Jovi  
  
Legolas, Haldir and Gimli were having dinner in silence.. some elves, including the king, asked about Zana, but neither of them replied. Gimli stared at the two elves.. Haldir looked so.. shocked? He hadn't seen him like this before. As he was eating, his expression changed from time to time.. sometimes half smiling, and sometimes frowning. About Legolas, he was absent minded, far away from there, looking at some point in the distance. Gimli coughed out loud on purpose, until he called the elves attention.  
  
"Hey, I'm bored.. why are you so quiet?" Haldir gave him a freezing look.  
  
"It's not my problem if you're not having fun, dwarf" Gimli couldn't find a proper reply, he didn't expect that answer. Haldir was so angry, although it was the first time he had opened his mouth it seemed he was paying his problems with him. Legolas was surprised too.  
  
"Haldir, calm down.. Gimli's intention was good. He's right, we are so quiet, Zana is not here, so obviously something happened.. any of you know what's going on?" Legolas had finished dinner and he leaned against his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"I only know that since the party you both act so strange, I can't recognise any of you.. where is the strong Haldir? Where the brave Legolas? You look like two stupid mortals!" Gimli threw his napkin over the table.  
  
"I'm sorry, Gimli" Haldir apologised. He stood up. "I need to sleep, I'm not recuperated from the party yet. Good night"  
  
"Good night.." Legolas followed him with his gaze until he disappeared behind the door. Then he looked at Gimli.  
  
"I'm also sorry.. see you tomorrow, ok? "  
  
"Hey!! You all are leaving me here? I'm not asleep, it's so early! " the dwarf was complaining, and walked towards another table and joined the elves. One of them laughed when he saw him.  
  
"The dwarf who made the scandal at the party!" And fortunately for Gimli, he found some mates for drinking beer.  
  
------------------------- ------------------------ -------------------- --- --------------------  
  
Haldir walked to his room and came in. Sitting on his bed, he covered his face with his hands. He still couldn't believe all what had happened.. the dinner had been horrible, avoiding Legolas gaze and Gimli's too.. he was afraid of the indiscreet dwarf.. but luckily he behaved well.  
  
He looked at his door.. crossing the hall was Zana's room.. so close.. and she was inside it, he could hear her steps. Standing up, walked to the balcony and looked at the sky. He had always loved stars, the idea of distant places. He remembered his nights in Lorien, staring at the shining points during hours.. he wondered if in Zana's world they were able to see the same view.. he wondered how many times they both were looking at the same star , but separated from millions of years.  
  
His head was a mess, a big confusion.. he asked himself what was happening, but didn't find a logical answer.. something had changed him and it was something about that girl. And he was too stubborn to keep the mystery, he was too decided to stay in the ignorance. Looking at his door, he took a deep breath and stepped outside his room, walking towards Zana's.  
  
------------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---- --  
  
I had been sitting outside, in the balcony, all time since I had arrived in my room.. I was nervous, waiting for Legolas. I still had some time for thinking, and I really needed that. I was so confused , the two elves made me feel very different things.. with Haldir I felt nervous, shy and insignificant, but at the same time I felt so well. With Legolas I felt well, very well.. he was so nice with me, he was Legolas.. the one I had always liked on Earth.. and whenever I saw him I forgot about everything.. but only for some seconds, because soon Haldir appeared again in my mind.  
  
The only explanation I found was that I was becoming crazy after crossing that line between the two worlds.. maybe it was a kind of proof, I couldn't tell.. I only knew for sure that, in three days, I had become lost and crazy about two elves. And that neither of them felt the same in return. Haldir was too important, a hero who had returned from death. And Legolas was a prince who one day would be in charge of a whole kingdom. Too much for me, he would need a kind of elf princess who would be with him forever.. because I was mortal. I was young, but I wouldn't be forever.  
  
The moon was shining up in the sky, thousands of stars brightening .. I looked carefully and found something known.. I had realised that the constellations were there, the constellations from Earth! I stood up, amazed.. and recognised the "Ursa major", the Polar star.. they could only be seen from the North of the Earth.. that meant that the Middle Earth was placed somewhere over the northern half.. that was surprising, that meant that those stars had been there since those times.. all the nights I had spent looking at the sky, I had been looking at the same sky as those beings.. I felt more at home, because maybe my own home wasn't too far away from those lands.. maybe I had been living in the place of Mirkwood in the 21rst century..  
  
I walked along the balcony, trying to find more known signs, but I heard a knock on the door.. it was still early, not midnight yet.. who was there then? I walked and stopped in front of it, and then opened slowly. I blushed.  
  
"Haldir. I didn't expect you." He smiled.  
  
" It wasn't in my plans to come here, I assure you. Can I come in?" He looked at me with a kind smile. I let him pass.  
  
"We can talk in the balcony, if you want" I was fixing all things in my room, trying to keep myself busy.. I put order on everything, always taking something or moving a desk. And all time he was looking at me with curiosity.  
  
"Why don't you stop and come here? I don't think that you were working before I came" He leaned against the balcony, and crossed his arms. I went outside, but staying a bit far away from him ,and looking at all places but the place where he was.  
  
" I suppose you want me to explain you about what I said before.." I managed to start speaking.  
  
"Well, I was surprised indeed.. most of all because I was talking about Legolas and not about me". Ok. In that moment I froze, I wanted to die. I looked at him , so ashamed.  
  
"What are you saying? That I misunderstood everything, and.. ? " He nodded, slowly, and then sat on a chair. I put my hands on the fence of the balcony and looked in the distance again.  
  
" Zana, I have to admit that your words made me feel so shocked.. " He stopped for a while. "if I understood them correctly, of course" His voice became lower, and I noticed a bit of irony on it. I turned around to face him.  
  
"What did you understand?" I asked, trying to sound arrogant, and he smiled.  
  
"Come on, Zana. We're not stupid.."  
  
"You misunderstood me too. So now, please, I want to sleep, can you go out from my room? " But he didn't move.  
  
"What's wrong with you, girl? " He stood up and walked towards me. "You told me some moments ago that you had feelings towards me! How can you pretend that nothing happened?" he was speaking a bit louder, very near from me.  
  
"Nothing happened, Haldir! You misunderstood me!" I shouted, and he took my arm, gently.  
  
" I'm sorry but this conversation is not finished yet. I need to know why did you say that" We stared at each other for some moments, in silence. "I need to know why, if you love Legolas, then you tell me that you feel something about me.." He was whispering and I was frozen and speechless again.  
  
"I.. I don't love Legolas.." My voice was betraying me again, and he didn't move, of course, he came even closer.  
  
"Then.. what happens inside your head?" he asked. His hand moved along my arm, ending in my neck. His eyes fixed on mines.  
  
"Haldir, leave me alone, please" I whispered. He looked a bit shocked, and gave a step away from me, but still looking in my eyes.  
  
"As you want.. but remember that the world doesn't turn around you, Zana.. you accused me of playing with your feelings.. and you're doing the same to me now. I won't be so patient and soon I won't bear you any more. And when my patience will be over, you won't see me again, I assure you it. " He left, closing the door. My head was spinning, I was shaking. I sat down on the chair and closed my eyes. Legolas.. I had to think of Legolas.. he wasn't playing with me.. but I couldn't tell him what was happening.. how would I tell him that I was in love with him ,but that something changed inside me when I was near from Haldir?  
  
I checked my watch, almost midnight. My heart started beating so fast. And Legolas was punctual, because exactly at twelve he knocked on my door, and when I opened it I felt that strange sensation in my stomach.  
  
"Hello, Zana" He smiled at me as he came in, and we both walked outside, to the balcony. I took another chair and we both sat. I didn't know where to start, I was quiet. "Well, Zana.. I think you should explain me what's happening to you that makes you cry all the time" he asked with a kind voice. I looked at him and wished to talk and talk until I would tell all the truth. But I just shrugged. He came closer, taking his chair with him. "I won't leave from here unless you're sincere with me"  
  
" It's complicated, Legolas" His blue eyes looked at me worried. " It's something I brought from my world , and here it became stronger.. but I didn't expect that this thing would be.. intercepted by another thing.." Legolas laughed lightly.  
  
"You will have to explain me this because I didn't understand anything" I also smiled a bit.. I was starting to feel better. Yes, with Legolas things looked better. I was afraid that my heart could be heard again. He breathed deeply. "Tell me about your world, Zana. What did you bring from there?" Great. He was beginning in the most difficult part. How could I explain him that for the last two years I was crazy about that elf I had seen in the movies?  
  
"Well.. I can't explain you with the exact words, but.. lets say that I knew about you before I came, and.. well.. when I was on Earth.." I had to stop, I wasn't able to speak.  
  
"Do you want to talk about Haldir?" This surprised me a lot.. what was happening there? Haldir asking me about Legolas, and Legolas asking me about Haldir.. oh, I understood, yeah.. it could be noticed that I liked both of them. I blushed deeply again.  
  
"Why would I want to talk about him? " I asked, avoiding his gaze.  
  
"About your conversation, when he told you what had happened at the party.. then I found you crying.. do you want to tell me what happened? " I didn't know what to do.. maybe if I told him, I would feel better.. but I couldn't tell him that, not if I loved him.. he was Haldir's friend and this could separate me from Legolas forever.. but, anyway.. neither of them loved me, so.. why would i have to worry? I could be sincere with the elf.  
  
"Ok, Legolas.. something happened at the party.."  
  
"Tell me.." he asked quickly.  
  
"When you went to talk to your father.. Haldir was taking care of me, and.. well.. he said that.." I looked at his eyes, and I found an expression I didn't expect and that made me stop talking. His eyes were sad? Was I right or maybe it was an effect of the light? My imagination again, uf.  
  
"Zana, please.." He was a bit nervous. Should I tell him? Well, after all, he didn't feel anything about me.  
  
"Ok, Haldir tried to kiss me" I sighed after saying it, happy to share that with Legolas.. But he suddenly stood up, his gaze lost. What was happening to him? What happened to those elves? "Legolas, what's wrong?" He looked at me, reacting.  
  
"Nothing, it's only that.. well, I already knew it" Now it was my turn to stand up.  
  
"What? And you kept me here, suffering?" I was shouting, and he put his hand over my shoulder.  
  
"Be quiet, Zana.. don't worry about anything, I just thought that there was something else that had hurt you.."  
  
"Something else? You think this is not enough?" I was out of control. He made me sit down and he sat with me.  
  
"It's wrong if you felt bad because of it.." He spoke slowly, thinking his words carefully.  
  
"What do you mean? That I tried to kiss him back?" He looked at me in reply. " I can't believe it, Legolas.. who do you think am I ?"  
  
"A person who was drunk enough to insinuate to me at the party" That hurt me, yes.. but he was right, and anyway it hurt. "Zana, you were lost and you didn't know what you were doing or saying, I tried to help you to avoid uncomfortable situations"  
  
"I know.. " I whispered, more sure than ever that he didn't feel anything about me.  
  
"Well.. " He sighed. "Now that I know your terrible secrets, can I ask you something more? " yes, now he was going to ask me about my feelings towards him . I was a bit angry so I decided to advance in time and reply the question I was expecting.  
  
"Yes, Legolas, I'm also confused about you, this is what you wanted to say?" His look made me realise that his question was a completely different one. He was observing me all time, without blinking. I blushed and covered my face with my hands. "Please, tell me that this is what you were about to ask, Legolas.."  
  
"Well.." He made a pause . " I wanted to ask you about Gandalf's letter." I laughed.. I started to laugh out loud, but not with a happy laugh but with a desperate one.. that wasn't my day, I had told to the two elves about my feelings and all times by accident.. how could I be so stupid? Finally I calmed down and reacted. He was staring at me, with an unreadable expression on his face.  
  
"Yes, Gandalf gave me a letter.. explaining that he was leaving because I must find the mission by myself.. and well.. " I remembered the magician's words.  
  
"There's more, right? " Legolas asked me, reading my mind. I nodded. But I couldn't look at him directly, I was too ashamed. And he was ignoring my remark, he was ignoring my confession about him and that was killing me.  
  
"Yes, but if you don't mind, I prefer to keep it by myself.. it's personal.." Legolas agreed. A long silence came, and I felt so uncomfortable. I walked towards the fence, to watch the landscape . I wasn't able to say anything or even fire him from my room.. I felt stupid.  
  
The night was so nice, I could see all trees and houses under the moonlight, a soft breeze wrapped me. I looked back and the chair was empty.. he had left! But when I turned again to the fence he was standing there. I shouted a bit, scared. And he smiled.  
  
"Zana.. I want to tell you something" He whispered. And I knew what he wanted to tell.  
  
"I know.. that I'm just a human who has nothing to do with two elves and that I should concentrate on my mission" I was looking at the moonlight. I heard him laughing.  
  
"No, it wasn't that" I looked in his eyes, they were brightening, and he became serious. " You arrived few time ago, and already caused a strong effect among us.. but I think that everything happened so fast that you still couldn't react.. you can't feel anything about a person who you met some hours ago.." Yes, now he was telling me that he didn't feel anything for me.. I felt so so bad.. because I had brought my feelings from the Earth, he was Legolas, which girl wouldn't like Legolas? And then I thought about Haldir.. yes, I didn't like him before I had arrived.. so maybe the elf was right and I was confused, but my feelings weren't real.  
  
"I know, Legolas.. and I feel so ashamed.. hard days are coming and I have to find out what am I doing here, right?" Legolas nodded, smiling.  
  
"But your heat is still beating fast, Zana.." He whispered. "I can hear it.." We looked at each other for some moments.  
  
"I can't help it.. " I was stuttering, like a stupid girl who can't react under pressure. And then.. he took my hand. Yes, he took my hand!  
  
"One last dance with me?" He asked me.. I couldn't believe that!  
  
"But we don't have music".. and then I remembered that Gandalf had given me that strange magic machine that played my songs. And Legolas had brought it with him.  
  
"Choose a song" his voice a low whisper.  
  
"I can't.." I said, simply.. he smiled. And he put his hand over the box, thinking.. as if he was looking for something.. and a song played.. that song.. why did he choose it?  
  
[Didn't know you would come tonight  
  
didn't hang on long enough  
  
didn't want to go and start a fight  
  
didn't mean to go, go and fall in love]  
  
He took my other hand and led me to the middle of the balcony, put his hands around my waist, my arms around his neck, and we started to dance. All I could think in that moment was that it couldn't be real.. that wasn't happening.. but he was there, looking at me.. with those blue eyes I always had loved, staring all time..  
  
[It's like an avalanche  
  
once you fall you're swept away  
  
I didn't stand a chance  
  
Hanging on every word you said  
  
Hey, we can find a place for love.. ]  
  
In the middle of the song, one of his hands touched my neck, and I froze. What was he doing? He was smiling, yes..  
  
" I don't know what is inside your heart.." He whispered "But I'm afraid of what is growing up inside mine" His hand touching my face now.  
  
I couldn't stop watching him.. I was so shocked, I couldn't understand anything and all my strength disappeared. He seemed to be thinking, and for some moments he got a bit separated from me.. we were dancing until the end of the song.. and when the music stopped, he stopped with it.  
  
"Zana.." He took a deep breath.  
  
"What?" Was I talking or it was my mind the one that replied? He looked at the ground, and then again at me.  
  
" Tomorrow we must decide things about mission. We can't wait forever. And please, no more parties or confessions.. this is serious and we can't loose time." He left, so fast. And I was alone, standing there.. did he say loosing time? This is what I was for him? What happened to those elves?  
  
I put the pyjamas and stepped into the bed.. my head so confused. I couldn't bear that anymore.. the following day I would take a decision. I needed help to find out my mission and I would find it. Gandalf had left, but Galadriel was in a known place, and I would visit her. She would tell me what to do. 


	17. One big step

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana.  
  
Well, it seems I made you all confused! : ) Ok, this is what I wanted : ) Because.. who said that Zana would end up with Legolas? Yes, he's developing feelings for her, but.. nothing is defined yet .. The story still has a lot of chapters! Be patient.. : )  
  
About Zana.. she still has a lot of things to learn in Middle Earth.. : )  
  
Thanks for the reviews and for telling me about my grammar mistakes! I'll try to do my best, ok? And now for real.. tomorrow I leave to university so probably I won't be able to update before weekend, so.. have a nice time in the meanwhile!  
  
****** ********** ********** ***************  
  
I got to get a message through,  
  
I don't know where we're going.  
  
I wrap my arms around your naked shoulders,  
  
Take cover for the night.  
  
- Silver blue- Roxette  
  
The king was standing outside the palace, looking at the sky. The winter was coming, instead of blue , there were grey clouds. He gave a look to his son.  
  
"Legolas, I've been thinking of what you told me.. and you're right. Now that Gandalf left we must send Zana with Galadriel. She won't find the answers here, we can't offer here anything else than our support" Legolas nodded, and looked at the balconies, where he had been dancing last night. The king came in the palace and called him. " We'll have a meeting this morning. All people must come"  
  
Legolas walked upstairs, then in the halls, knocking on Haldir's door. He waited for some seconds.. no reply. He couldn't believe that the elf was still sleeping.  
  
"Haldir, can you please wake up? It's important!" He shouted. Knocked again. After some seconds he opened the door, and found the room empty. Then, instinctively , he looked at Zana's door. But laughed at himself. "Of course he's not there".  
  
Anyway, he walked towards her door, and listened. She was alone, it seemed.. taking a bath. Somehow he felt better.  
  
"What are you doing?" A voice behind him made him jump. Haldir was waiting for an answer, looking at him. Legolas turned around, ashamed.  
  
"I was looking for you"  
  
"For me? In Zana's room? What were you thinking about, Legolas? How could you think that I was with her? Are you crazy?" Haldir was laughing out loud, but Legolas wasn't too convinced.  
  
"If you tried to kiss her once, I suppose that you wouldn't give up so fast, Haldir of Lorien.." He spelled his name with irony, knowing about the arrogance of that elf. Then he realised that he was acting in a stupid way when he saw Haldir's curious gaze. " I'm sorry, we won't fight because of this stupid thing"  
  
"What did you want to talk about?" Haldir became serious, also Legolas.  
  
"My father wants us to meet in the big saloon, we took a decision about Zana."  
  
"Which decision? " Haldir became nervous, considering all possibilities. Maybe they would force her to leave Mirkwood, or leave to a place where humans lived, maybe Gondor.. probably Aragorn was already waiting for her.  
  
" We'll talk about this in one hour. Be punctual" He said, as he left the hall. Haldir followed him with his gaze. Something was different on Legolas. Actually, he couldn't be compared with that elf he had met some time ago, with that elf who had fought in Helm's deep with him.. now Legolas looked like a real mortal.. and the thing he didn't like was that he could notice the same changes on himself.. that would be a problem.  
  
-------------------- ---------------------- ------------------- ------- ------------------  
  
As soon as I woke up that morning, I took a bath.. I had slept very well, to my big surprise. And the warm water made me feel better.. now that I had taken a decision all by myself, I felt stronger. Anyway, something worried me.. if the elves didn't agree with my departure, I would have to walk alone to Lorien.. but of course, I didn't know the way.. and the king wouldn't let me go .. sure he would send a bunch of soldiers to bring me back. Yes, that was a problem.. because in that moment, all I wanted was to meet Galadriel.  
  
After dressing up I left the room and walked to the dinning room, I was hungry.. one apple for dinner wasn't enough for me. I knew I would meet the elves there, but well, I couldn't avoid them all time. So I tried to look indifferent when I opened the door. Only Gimli was there.. I felt more relaxed.. and at the same time, I was disappointed. The dwarf smiled at me and I sat down next to him.  
  
"So today we're alone, girl" He was eating a huge piece of bread.  
  
"It seems so.. " I looked around and only few more elves were sitting near from us.. "This is strange, that all from the sudden they disappeared.. " Gimli nodded, but went on eating. I did the same, in silence. That breakfast was really nice and I ate more than I used to. I missed coffee, though, it seemed that they didn't know about it.. there was milk, of course.. and all kind of bread and sweets.. but a coffee was a coffee, something essential in my life on Earth.  
  
Legolas came walking before I could notice it. He looked worried and also a bit embarrassed. He approached our table, and my heart started to beat fast again. Uf, I hated that..  
  
"Good morning" he smiled, and we greeted him back. " You both must hurry because there's a meeting in half an hour" He looked at me " We have taken a decision about you, Zana"  
  
"What? About me? Without my opinion? Because I also took my own decision and.."  
  
"Please, wait a bit, don't get angry so fast. We'll talk in thirty minutes, see you there" He interrupted me, putting his hand on my shoulder. Gimli coughed.. yes, the dwarf was all time making fun of us. Legolas looked at both of us and left, as fast as he had arrived .  
  
" I can't believe it.. " I whispered, and Gimli smiled. "And why are you laughing at me?"  
  
"You three look so funny when you're together" His laughs became louder.  
  
"What do you mean? We three? " I was tired of that dwarf.  
  
"In my land, when a dwarf likes a dwarf girl, we don't loose time playing and saying nonsense or spying through the windows.. we go directly to her and.. talk directly, because we're brave, a lot braver than those coward elves!!" He drank from his cup and went on speaking. " Haldir won't ever admit it, I'm sure. He's too proud and hey, you're a human.." This remark made me upset. "And Legolas.. poor Legolas, where is my friend? This is not the elf I met!"  
  
"I don't spy anybody through the windows, Gimli" But he looked at me and laughed even more. "And when did you reach those conclusions about all of us?"  
  
"You're so innocent.. because I don't want to call you stupid, of course" And he also left me there, having breakfast alone. I wouldn't be able to resist that situation for more time. I was hoping that we would find a solution soon, as soon as possible.  
  
-------------- --------------------- ------------------ ------------- ----------  
  
After going to my room to wash a bit after breakfast, I walked towards the big saloon. I was preparing myself for the worst, sure that they wouldn't let me go to Lorien , and sure that they would be trying to send me back to the Earth. So when I opened the door I wasn't in my best mood. Around the table, the king, Legolas, Haldir, Gimli and three more unknown elves were waiting for me.  
  
"Zana.. welcome again . Please, sit down with us. We must talk about something important".  
  
"I know that you took a decision about me, but you have to hear my opinion first" I said, as I sat down. The king looked offended.  
  
"Don't make me change my good opinion about you, shut up and listen first to what we have to tell you" He looked at me with his cold eyes, and I felt a bit ashamed. Legolas looked worried, and Haldir indifferent. " Zana.. now that Gandalf left us, without giving a better explanation than "I'm leaving in order to let Zana decide".. , we all agreed that we can't do anything else for you than help you to find your way.. and the second person who best can tell is Galadriel.." I looked at him in surprise, smiling. "What's wrong? " He asked, frowning.  
  
"Nothing, it's only that this is what I had decided last night and I'm so happy to see that you agree with me" I was more calmed indeed. Legolas sighed, and Haldir looked confused, so confused.  
  
"But she will never find the way to Lorien alone" Haldir said, always with an arrogant voice, and looked at me as if I was just a small girl. That made me angry.  
  
"What do you know? " I was half shouting.. but I knew that I would never be able to go there alone, I would get lost somewhere.. in addition, I would be too scared to do that. I blushed, realising that my words sounded stupid. Legolas was staring at me, and his worried look made me even more worried.  
  
"Of course she can't go alone, Haldir. " The king looked at all of us, and the three unknown elves nodded. "We have decided that Zana will leave tonight, after dinner. Lorien is not too far away, but she'll need some days to arrive there."  
  
"And I suppose you'll send someone to go with her" Legolas asked, and his father nodded.  
  
"Of course" And the king looked at me. "The best elf for this mission is Haldir"  
  
"What?" Legolas and Haldir asked at the same time.  
  
"Zana will leave with Haldir tonight.. they will go to Lorien, talk to Galadriel and come back to tell us the news.. and when everything will be more defined, we'll decide again what to do. "  
  
"And you will only send Haldir with her?" Legolas was out of control  
  
"This is not a dangerous mission, Legolas.. it's just a short journey and they don't need more. Haldir knows the way and he will help her and protect her, right, Haldir?" There was a suspicious look in the king's eyes.  
  
"Of course, but.. I don't know what to say" Haldir was a bit shocked.. probably he hated the idea of spending some days with me alone, sure.. I felt bad again. That elf always made me feel bad.  
  
"Then everything is decided" The king stood up. "Have a nice day, and see you later, Zana" The three elves left with him, and Gimli's face was red, so red.. as if he was trying not to laugh.. we all looked at him.. yes, he was about to explode.  
  
"What are you doing, dwarf? " Haldir frowned, looking at him. And Gimli laughed, out loud, more than five minutes. Neither of us spoke, we stared at each others.  
  
"What a shame, what a shame!! I'm going to miss this journey! Haldir of Lorien and the girl travelling together!!"  
  
"What is so funny? " Legolas asked, angry.  
  
"They can't bear each other here, when they only meet three times by day in the dinning room.. so imagine what will happen after being twenty- four hours together during days!!" Gimli walked towards the door, he went on laughing. I looked at Haldir, and suddenly he looked at me too. Legolas stood up and sighed.  
  
"Well.. it seems that we already gave a first step in your mission, Zana. I hope that Galadriel will help you. I'll be waiting here for your news.. " Something in his eyes made me feel so sad.. I would be separated from him and he was saying a kind of good bye..  
  
" We'll be back in no time" I replied, and Haldir left his chair.  
  
" It depends on your shape, Zana.. will you be able to walk miles every day?" He asked with irony in his voice. I looked at him.  
  
"We'll be back in no time, I promise" I repeated, slowly. Haldir looked sceptic, and smiled.  
  
"We'll see, girl.. " He whispered, looking at Legolas, and then at me. "If you're able to make the whole journey in less than eight days." He seemed to be thinking ,his gaze lost somewhere.  
  
"You want to bet something?" I asked, as a challenge. He smiled again.  
  
"Anything you will bet, you'll loose it, Zana"  
  
"Don't be so sure. What do we bet?" I asked again. An evil look on his eyes made me feel less self confident.. what if he was right? But I tried to look strong.  
  
"Stop acting as if you were two.." Legolas didn't find the proper words, and Haldir went on speaking.  
  
"I'll think of it during day. But be sure that you won't ever win this, so get ready for the consequences" He left the room ,giving me a last gaze. I looked at Legolas, who was also looking at me.  
  
"Well.. " I said. " I think I have to prepare my things."  
  
"Zana" He called me, and I turned around. "Take care" He smiled sadly, and walked to the opposite direction, crossing the balcony's door.  
  
"Great.." I told to myself. What a journey was waiting for me. When I reached my room's door I heard Haldir's voice behind me.  
  
"Why are you so upset with the idea of this journey? I thought you wanted to meet Galadriel" I turned around and faced him.  
  
"Of course I want to meet her. And I'm not upset." I noticed that Haldir didn't believe me.  
  
"I know what's wrong, and all what I can say is that you should try to do your best to arrive in Lorien and forget about dreams and stupid things.. you're turning into a selfish person and you don't realise that the future of your world could be in your hands" And with those words he turned back and came in his room, closing the door behind him. I took a deep breath, lost in my thoughts.. that would be a complicated journey indeed. 


	18. A cold goodbye

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana. **  
  
I know, I know.. this morning I said that I wouldn't update before weekend.. but here I am again : ) This is another fast and surprise chapter.  
  
And.. what can I say? I'll repeat myself: thank you all for your reviews!! And Priestess of Anubis, you're so fast reading my chapters, you're always the first one with a new review! I'm glad you like the story : )  
  
********* ************* ************* **************  
  
Take a bow, the night is over  
  
this masquerade is getting older  
  
lights are low , the curtains down  
  
there's no one here  
  
say your lines, but do you feel them  
  
do you mean what you say, when there's no one around  
  
watching you watching me, one lonely star  
  
(one lonely star you don't know who you are)  
  
-Take a bow - Madonna  
  
Merwen came in my room, carrying a tray with lunch. I stood up after lying on the bed for some minutes and helped her.  
  
"Thank you very much for bringing me this, Merwen.. I didn't feel very well and I preferred to stay here.. " I tried to put a different voice, like when you're ill and you need a big effort to talk. But she didn't believe me, of course.  
  
"You're avoiding something or someone from the dinning room because it's the second time you want to stay here.. but today I'll help you.. after all, you're leaving us " She smiled at me and left the things over my bed.  
  
"Thank you, Merwen.. you're right about everything, and if you were in my place you would understand me better.. " She suddenly sat with me and looked so serious.  
  
"If I was you I would try to have fun and forget about stupid worries. Now things are becoming serious and you already lost the few days without worries that you had. You lost the best chance because you've been in a palace, treated like a princess, and you spent all time hiding and complaining. If I was you, I would be right now in the dining room facing my problems" She smiled once more, before leaving. "Oh! And have a good journey, I hope to see you here again soon" And she closed the door.  
  
"What a temperament.. " I murmured, and started eating lunch. But I was thinking about what she had told me, and I had to agree with her.. all the times I had wished to be sent to Middle Earth, and once here, I only had worries and problems.. all day wondering about stupid things, all day complaining and making their lives impossible.. somehow I saw the Zana I had been the past days and I felt so ashamed. Yes, I had lost a good chance, never again that party would happen, and never again I would be sent to that place, once in my world. Yes, I wondered why I didn't talk to Merwen more often.. she could have been a great friend, and I really appreciated her advises . But now it was too late.. I wouldn't go to the dinning room . And I felt angry with myself for being so.. stupid.  
  
When I started packing some things, I realised about something.. I couldn't walk wearing dresses, I would need new clothes.. I stood there, thinking.. what I needed where male clothes, if they could be called like this.. because I was sure that the elf- girls only had skirts and things impossible to wear.. but .. who could help me then? I couldn't ask the king, or Legolas.. well, I couldn't ask anybody else because I would feel uncomfortable.. but I had to do it.. Yes, it was time to forget about my shyness for once in my life..  
  
I waited some minutes, more than thirty, until I made sure that all elves had returned from dinning room. I went out of my room, looking in the halls.. there was silence, and I didn't notice Haldir returning.. After closing my door I walked and knocked on Haldir's one. I didn't get an answer.. maybe he was walking somewhere.. I felt more relaxed, I didn't have to face him.  
  
Outside, in the gardens, I couldn't see anybody known.. and of course, I couldn't stop any of those elves and say "Hey, elf, can I borrow a pair of trousers from you?". No, of course not.. I also couldn't ask Gimli, obviously they wouldn't fit and ,in addition, I had my doubts about his hygiene.. I was a bad person, yes.. but the dwarf wasn't exactly what I call a clean person.  
  
After walking some minutes I decided to sit down for a while, I realised I wasn't in my best shape, and I started to have doubts about that journey.. what if I wasn't able to walk all miles per day? And why the hell we didn't bring horses? I had lots of questions for those elves. "Well, lets go on walking.. " I told to myself, and I returned to the palace. It was amazing how fast time passed there.. or maybe it was because there were big distances and the place was so wonderful that I always was so absent minded..  
  
When I was walking under the balconies of the palace, I saw Haldir standing there, under the grey sky. He heard me coming, and moved his hand to greet me.  
  
"So you decided to skip lunch.. you should eat or you won't be able to walk tonight" he said, and I stopped to talk to him. Yes, that would be more comfortable than talking face to face inside his room.. now he was in a first floor and I was in a garden.. perfect.  
  
"If you're interested, I had lunch in my room, Merwen brought it" I replied, with the same irony he had in his voice. And he smiled.  
  
"So you're causing her extra work, I see.. and what are you doing now? You should be resting"  
  
"I'm not tired, and I was looking for help " He looked at me with curiosity.  
  
"What kind of help? " He kept that smile that made me so nervous.  
  
"Well, I can't travel dressed in those clothes, so I wanted to ask an elf, a male elf, for something that could fit me better.. "  
  
"It would be interesting if you walked with those dresses.. I would win the bet for sure"  
  
" So you want me to wear them because it's the only possible way of winning the bet? " I asked, with sarcasm, but he shook his head.  
  
"You know I'll win" An evil bright in his eyes. Yes, he was always so self confident.. that arrogant elf.  
  
"Ok" I said, starting to walk. "Then I'll ask someone else, good bye!"  
  
"Come on, Zana.. don't be like this. Wait one moment" And I saw, surprised, that he jumped from the balcony, he was so agile, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. He noticed my surprise and smiled. "Are you sure you will win the bet? .." He made a pause. "Well, you can ask for clothes to any of the elves, of course, but I'll go with you, because I see you're not brave enough"  
  
"So you wouldn't have any problem to ask an elf- girl for clothes, I see.. you're always so brave" I said, with a smile.  
  
"Well, I would ask her for her clothes if she was wearing them and we were alone in my room" I blushed with his reply, I thought elves didn't make those kind of jokes, I imagined them like a kind of spiritual beings.. but obviously I was wrong.  
  
"It's so easy to make you embarrassed and I love it" He said, with a laugh. And again, I couldn't reply.  
  
"So.. where do we go now? " I asked, trying to change from subject. "Who will lend me his clothes?" We came inside the palace.  
  
"Come to my room.. I knew that if I didn't go with you , you would never come to visit me" He said, taking my arm to lead me to the correct hall.. I was a bit nervous and lost. I followed him.  
  
"You think you know me well, but it's not like this" I said, as we were walking upstairs. He didn't look at me.  
  
"I know you better than you think, and I assure you that sooner or later I'll make you change into a kind and normal human girl, and not the shy and stupid one you're now" I stopped, angry.  
  
"What? " He stopped too, but then forced me to go on walking, and we came in his room. I was shocked. "Ok, I don't want anything from you, Haldir. I'll leave now and look for another elf" He looked at me with a sceptic gaze.  
  
"Don't be silly" He said, giving me some of his clothes. I looked at them and then took the bag. Then he went on packing his own things.  
  
"Thanks" I murmured. And I closed the door behind me, without saying anything else.  
  
--------------- ------------------ ------------------  
  
Legolas went to his room and opened the wardrobe.. he would need his old clothes and some of the things he had used during the war.. it was the first time, after the war, that he was going to make a journey, and he wanted to be ready for anything. He wouldn't stay in Mirkwood, doing nothing, while Haldir and Zana were looking for a kind of adventure.  
  
When he finally finished packing everything, he brought his bag to the gardens, hiding it under a bush.. it would be too suspicious if someone saw him carrying it inside the palace that night.. he chose a place near from the entry of the building.  
  
"Where are you going, Legolas?" Gimli had discovered him, and the elf turned around.  
  
"I can't stay here, Gimli. What if they need help?" The dwarf walked towards him. Legolas looked so strange, so sad.  
  
"Gandalf left because he wanted things to happen , I mean, he didn't want to make them happen.. you should do the same, my friend.. leave your feelings apart, you have to stay here"  
  
"Why? Because my father decided it? No, Gimli, nothing will stop me."  
  
"And you will leave me here alone? With all those horrible elves?!" He was joking, and Legolas smiled.  
  
"You can join me if you want.. but you're too noisy, Haldir could hear you perfectly"  
  
"What do you mean? That I can't be a real warrior? I can be as silent as a cat!" He breathed strongly, so proud of himself.  
  
"Ok, Gimli. You'll leave with me.. but we'll leave one day later.. the distance will be big enough to keep noises separated, and once in Lorien, we'll explain everything to Galadriel. But be sure that I won't stay here. " The dwarf sighed, and shook his head.  
  
"I can't believe that Legolas, the elf who helped Frodo, the elf who helped to avoid the Middle Earth's destruction, is behaving now as a stupid young mortal man.. " Legolas looked very serious.  
  
"I can't explain you anything now, I'm just following my intuition, and my intuition tells me that I must go with them. Something tells me that the journey won't be as safe as they think, Gimli.." He looked at the sky, his blue eyes reflecting the grey clouds.  
  
"Then, my friend, we must go too.. one more day and the journey will begin."  
  
"Yes, one more day.." Legolas looked at the palace, at Zana's balcony.  
  
------------------ ---------------------- ---------------------- ----- ------------------  
  
It was already night when I finished packing everything.. I put a lot of things inside my bag, including all those shampoos and soaps.. although maybe I couldn't take a bath.. well, of course I wouldn't be able.. but at least I hoped to find a river or something similar.. no, I really needed water and I would find it whatever would happen. In the bag I also put a towel and a blanket, something that would protect me from cold temperatures, in the case that winter would come so fast. And that was all.. I looked around myself, and I felt sad.. I was going to miss that room, that palace.. all the comfortable things on it.. I never had made a journey like that, walking in the nature.. I was a girl who was born in a city and lived all her life among buildings, cars and pollution. I wasn't ready for mountains or dangers or whatever I would find on my way..  
  
I checked my watch, it was time for dinner and it would be my last dinner there.. but I was going to come back, of course.. or maybe not.. what if I found the meaning of the mission and then I had to follow it from Lorien, and never go back? And suddenly, another thing worried me.. what if Haldir, once at home, decided to stay there? What if I had to go on alone, or with unknown elves? Those scary thoughts made me so nervous. After all, Haldir didn't have any obligation towards me.. would he leave me? Sure he would, I was sure, so sure.. or this I thought..  
  
Merwen knocked on my door, and she came in..  
  
"Hello, you come to say goodbye? " I said, smiling, and she smiled back.  
  
"I just supposed that if you didn't want to be there for lunch, sure you wouldn't want to be there for dinner. Although the king wanted to make something special for your departure.. so I came here to force you to go to the dinning room"  
  
"How nice.." I said, with sarcasm. But she was right.. I had to go, it was the last dinner.. for some days, of course, because I would be back in no time.. or this I wanted to believe. "You win, Merwen.. lets go"  
  
We walked in the halls and she stopped before opening the door of the dinning room.  
  
"Zana, I want to wish you good luck and please, come back soon.. try to find out about your mission here and bring us good news" She smiled and hugged me. "Now, come in"  
  
"Thanks, Merwen" I opened the door and walked to my table, where the two elves and the dwarf were sitting.  
  
"Oh, the human girl joins us!" Gimli was shouting and half of the room looked at us. "I'm glad to see that you're still alive"  
  
"Of course I am, Gimli. " I replied, a bit sharp. But then he started to tell some of his stories and we all were laughing with them. And all the bad feelings were gone. The dinner was really good, and I ate more than usual , considering that I would spend half of the night walking.. and with those thoughts I remembered some of my questions.  
  
"By the way.." I said, and they looked at me. "Why don't we go riding a horse , instead of walking? " And Haldir smiled.  
  
"I knew you would find this difficult.. but I have to tell you that this is not a journey for a horse.. we'll be walking in deep forests, crossing rivers and small lakes, and our ways are too narrow and dangerous for an animal" He said, with a mysterious smile.  
  
"Don't tell her lies, Haldir.. you know it's not like this.." Legolas didn't look too convinced, but he tried to smile. Anyway, I didn't feel better.. yes, that would be a difficult journey.  
  
"This would be the perfect mission for a dwarf.. we're strong and brave, we're not afraid of anything!" he was again showing himself as a kind of god, but he was funny and I couldn't help smiling. Although Legolas gave him a warning look that I couldn't understand.. and the dwarf looked back, as if he had said something wrong.  
  
And in that moment the king stood up and spoke to us.  
  
"I want to wish Zana and Haldir a good journey to Lorien, where our friends will take care of them, and we all hope they will come back as soon as possible, bringing good news" All elves clapped and Haldir smiled at all of them, and I smiled too. Then, I looked at him, he was thinking of something, staring at the walls.. as if he was worried or .. well, I didn't know how to "decode" that.. Suddenly he looked at me and smiled kindly. He always surprised me.  
  
" Well, if we all already finished, I think we must leave, Zana" Haldir stood up and we all followed him, saying goodbye to the rest of elves. The king shook my hand and smiled.. and then he hugged me.. he was like a father for all of us, or this it seemed.. but he made me feel better.  
  
I came in my room and took all the things. Then, I stepped outside and gave a last look. Maybe I would never come back again.. what if I never saw Legolas? All the times I had wished to meet him and maybe those last minutes were the only minutes left ,for the rest of my life, to be with him.. I felt a kind of pressure in my chest, as if I couldn't breath.. Haldir also left his room ,and stood in front of me.  
  
"Are you ready for the journey, human girl? " He said with his ironical voice.  
  
"I'm always ready" I replied, trying to look ironic too.. but I was too sad in that moment.  
  
Legolas and Gimli were waiting for us in the main door. When I walked downstairs, he looked at me.. and I remembered that scene in the movie "Titanic", when Rose met Jack in the stairs. I never liked that movie, and now I hated it more than ever.  
  
"Well.. so.. I think this is a kind of goodbye.." Gimli said, with a strange voice, and then, to my big surprise, he started to laugh out loud. Legolas looked at him so angry, and I couldn't understand anything. Haldir moved his head.  
  
"This dwarf is impossible.." But he was smiling, and he shook hands with him. Then , he looked at Legolas and did the same. Legolas smiled. And then, his blue eyes stared at me.  
  
"Zana.." he gave me his hand, and took mine. "Good journey.. I hope to see you here soon"  
  
"Sooner than you think.." Gimli sang, in low voice. Haldir gave him a strange look.  
  
"Thank you" I whispered, almost crying. That was too much for me, I couldn't help thinking that maybe I wouldn't meet him again, and I avoided his gaze.  
  
"Well" I said. "Let's go" I went outside and wondered how come Legolas gave me such a cold good bye, after what he had told me the previous night.. I felt so sad, like always.. but this time it was worst.. Haldir joined me and we started to walk. I looked back, to see the palace, and Legolas and Gimli weren't there.. they already left and I wondered if they really would miss me, because at first sight it seemed that they weren't too affected. Then I looked at Haldir, he looked back and went on walking, without saying a word. Great. What a journey.. 


	19. A small Eden

** Disclaimer: Yes, yes.. like always.. I only own Zana. ***********  
  
Back from university again! It's nice to see that you all still like this story! Thank you very much for all your reviews and thank you very much to the ones who included me in their favourite authors' list! I didn't expect to get more than 10 reviews with this story, and honestly I thought I would only get bad critics, so the 56 good ones I already have made me so happy! Thanks!  
  
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Did I ever think of you  
  
As my enemy  
  
Did you ever think of me  
  
I'm complaining  
  
I never tried to feel  
  
I never tried to feel this vibration  
  
I never tried to reach  
  
I never tried to reach your eden  
  
Eden - Hooverphonic  
  
Our journey had started, yes.. and I still had inside my head the sight of Legolas giving me that cold goodbye.. and Gimli laughing about everything.. as if that was funny.. I looked around myself. The narrow path was rounded by high trees, and I heard the sound of water somewhere. The moonlight showed us the way, and we walked for more than two hours without exchanging a word. Anyway, I wasn't in the mood. But I knew myself too well, and I couldn't bear uncomfortable silences too long.. I felt sad and Haldir looked upset.. what a combination. I sighed and tried to give the first step into a kind of conversation.  
  
"You're quiet" I said to Haldir as we walked who knows where.. he didn't look at me.  
  
"As you are" He looked really sad, as if leading me was a big charge for him. This made me feel uncomfortable.. what if sooner or later he got so tired of me that he would leave me in the middle of nowhere? No, that wasn't possible.. elves were wonderful creatures.. I gave him one more look, and this time he stopped.  
  
"What?" His face showed that he had lost his patience.. but.. what did I do?, I almost asked. I stopped with him.  
  
"Nothing.. I was just wondering why do you look so.. sad, serious.. " I shrugged, and went on walking.  
  
"And I was wondering why are you walking with a dress" I heard the sarcasm in his voice.. he was right, I had completely forgotten about changing from clothes! I took my bag and gave him a freezing look, but he just smiled in reply.  
  
"And now, can you please leave me alone? I want to put one of your.. how do you call those Peter Pan trousers?" He looked so confused.  
  
"Peter what?" He raised an eyebrow and turned around. " Ok, you're free to change yourself, I'm not interested on what you hide under those stupid dresses" He sat on a rock, in the middle of the path, and I went behind some bushes. Fortunately, Haldir wasn't the tallest of the elves and his clothes fitted me better than I thought. Those green trousers and the long green kind of sweater were so nice and comfortable, and with my long brown hair we looked like a pair of elves.. almost.. because it seemed that they didn't like my dark eyes, I had noticed that they looked at them with strange faces.  
  
"Ok, lets go on walking.. no.. wait, I have to ask you something" He stood up and looked at me, sighing.  
  
"What do you want to know now? If we plan to sleep tonight?" I was surprised.  
  
"How did you know it?" I asked, and he smiled.  
  
"Well, I have strange uses when it comes to travelling.. and I always choose the night, I like walking in the moonlight, the silence of the darkness.. and most of elves would have chosen morning and daylight for a start.." He looked at the sky.  
  
"Like all normal people, I would say.. we could have slept in our beds and wake up, have a nice breakfast and then start" I complained, but like always , he didn't pay attention to me. He just looked around.  
  
"This is a good place.. we'll camp here. Take your sleeping bag, you can put it under this big tree" He walked towards a kind of circle in the middle of trees, hidden from everything, where the only things I could see were the rays coming from moon, plants and a mysterious blue light. "The blue light is caused by the plants under the stars" He explained, reading my mind. "It's a strange phenomenon that can only be seen near from Mirkwood".  
  
" I.. I don't have a sleeping bag.. " I showed him the small blanket and the towel. He shook his head.  
  
"What else could I expect." He murmured.  
  
"I heard you, elf. It's not my fault if nobody gave me one and.."  
  
"That nobody gave you one?" he interrupted, coming close to me and taking my bag. Nothing. "But you had enough time to take the gel, shampoo and all the things you need to "fix" yourself".  
  
"Fix myself? What do you mean?" I was becoming angry, and our voices were loud.  
  
"That like always, you only thought about yourself, you didn't ask anybody for advice and you forgot something so important that if you fall asleep without it you'll wake up completely frozen in the morning, we're almost in winter!" He was looking at me and his blue eyes were brightening because of anger. And instinctively, I shrugged.. just a simple movement that made him even more angry. "You're impossible, Zana" And he walked back, putting his things on the ground, opening his own sleeping bag in the opposite side of the circle. He collected some wooden sticks for a fire. I sat down and took my blanket.. well, if that could be called blanket.. and he was right, I didn't ask anybody about important things and now I was frozen, shaking, and my fingers were turning into blue, like when in winter I forgot my gloves and my fingers were a mess.  
  
Haldir made a fire and I sat near from it. Somehow I reacted.. but the thing that most disturbed me was that silence.. the place was charming, yes.. but having an angry and quiet elf for the only company wasn't the best.. it was amazing how much he disliked me, in the sense that all my mistakes had a terrible effect on him, as if I had made something a lot worse.. after all, the worst thing that could happen would be that.. yes, now I realised about my mistake.. now we had to share the sleeping bag or in the morning I would have problems. I covered my face with my hands, trying not to laugh.. it was funny, yes.. and it made me angry at the same time.  
  
"What are you laughing at? " He asked, looking for something in his bag. He took a big box and offered me something to eat. A kind of cookies.. lembas, they called them.. or this I remembered from the book and movie..  
  
"I'm not laughing.. " I took one. "lembas.. I was curious about the taste."  
  
"How can you know about them?" He asked in surprise. I smiled.  
  
"Mysteries of life" I decided to keep him curious, I wouldn't explain anything to that unkind elf. But of course, he didn't reply . He opened his sleeping bag, big enough for two persons, I noticed. I looked in another direction, trying to look indifferent. I was expecting to hear something from him like "We have to share this or else you'll die", but I waited and waited.. and he didn't open his mouth. Maybe I wouldn't die, but for sure I wouldn't be able to sleep.. I had to keep on moving to maintain the heat inside my body.. Haldir was so cruel, yes.. I started to walk.  
  
"Zana.. if you'll be walking all night long I won't be able to sleep.. please, go away and walk somewhere else" He smiled with irony and laid again on the ground. I could have killed him in that moment.  
  
"You know what? I'm already tired of you, of your mood changes, of.."  
  
"Stop complaining!" he shouted.  
  
"I'll freeze!" I shouted back. He nodded.  
  
"yes, and we won't have to worry about your mission and I'll be able to go back home" He sat down and looked at me as I was walking back to the fire, this time closer to him.  
  
"So this is the problem.. "I said, looking directly at his eyes. " I knew it"  
  
"What are you talking about?" He asked, in a kinder voice.  
  
"You hate me, right?" It was more a statement than a question. He didn't move.  
  
"I don't hate you" he said, quickly. But I didn't believe him. I took my small blanket and covered myself, laying in the ground. I closed my eyes. I felt too sad to speak.. I missed Legolas, the palace, my bed.. everything. I heard Haldir moving, and I supposed he was putting himself comfortable inside the sleeping bag.. great.. what a selfish elf, elves weren't as sensitive to cold as humans, and he didn't want to help me. I tried to control myself, I was shaking too much.  
  
And I felt a hand on my shoulder. Haldir kneeled beside me. He pointed his sleeping bag.  
  
"Step inside or you'll die, Zana" he whispered, and I couldn't believe my eyes. I didn't move, I didn't know what to do. After all, he had to sleep there too, it was too cold.  
  
"But.. what about you? " I asked , trying to look innocent, although we both knew the answer.  
  
"Try to see me like a dwarf and not like this awesome elf I am" he smiled, joking. I crawled towards the comfortable place.  
  
"You're not awesome, Haldir" I said, trying to look convincing.. well, I liked Legolas.. right?..  
  
"Ok, then you won't mind if I tell you that you're like a dwarf woman for me, you're nothing if I compare you with all the elf- girls I've met during my whole life and I'm sure you snore like all Gimli's girlfriends from his land" He had an evil smile and I beated on his arm.  
  
"Stop talking or you'll be sorry" I said, and I came inside the sleeping bag, and Haldir with me.. we were too close , too close to be able to fall asleep. We had to lay over our arms, and I looked in another direction or else our faces would be separated by millimetres only. I could hear his breathing in my ears and he wrapped me with his free arm.  
  
"I suppose you already understood that I have to sleep in this position or else we wouldn't be able to share this.." he explained, and I nodded, unable to speak. I felt his heat that made me feel so comfortable, and I hated to admit it. I wasn't cold any more. But I wasn't asleep neither.. it would be a very long night.  
  
Minutes passed, and I couldn't say if he was awake or asleep.. he didn't move, he didn't change his breathing.. nothing.. and I had a problem.. I felt as if thousands of ants were running through my veins ,I needed to change position.. and it would be a problem indeed. I lifted his arm, and then I tried to lay on my back, in order to lay again over my other arm.. and I did it but I couldn't help moving him.. to my surprise, he didn't wake up, he was facing me with opened eyes. At first I was surprised but then I remembered that elves sleep with eyes like this.. and I watched him.. well, checked him.. he looked so nice, his blue eyes lost on mines without being aware of that. I put his arm again around me. Definitely, in that new position I wouldn't sleep. I just couldn't.. it was too strange to be real.. if Legolas was the one laying there.. but.. why in that moment, I didn't care about that? Why I didn't wish Legolas to be there? Something was happening to me, and I coudn't explain that. I felt so comfortable, so..  
  
"What are you looking at?" He said, with an ironic smile, making me jump.  
  
"I . I thought you were sleeping.." I murmured, blushing deeply. He smiled.  
  
"And you think that an elf would be able to sleep with all the movements and noises you're making?" I didn't know what to reply.. well, I didn't know any intelligent answer, only a stupid one.  
  
" I had ants in my arm.. in a metaphorical way, of course" he looked astonished at me.  
  
"You had what?"  
  
"Forget it.. and go on sleeping" I said, changing from position again. "Good night"  
  
"I hope.." he murmured.  
  
I didn't want to open my eyes.. i knew it was already day, I felt the sun in my face.. but I was too comfortable to move.. yes, I had found a better place where to sleep, better than any pillow I could have found. But I was in this phase of sleep when you're not completely awake and you're not aware of things.. well, so this is how I was.. because when I opened my eyes I found myself in the less expected position. My head resting on Haldir's shoulder, his arm around my neck and the other one wrapping me.. like my free arm around his belly. I didn't want to move too fast, because if he woke up in that exact moment I would die. I moved my head, his eyes were opened but still.. so he was still.. oh, no, his eyes moved, and stared at me. We both looked at each other, waiting.. as if neither of us was able to give the first step. I blushed deeply again, and he looked confused.  
  
"Zana.. what are you doing?" He said, slowly.  
  
"Nothing" That was my simple answer. Suddenly I moved away from him. I stood up and walked towards my bag, picking up some drinks. I knew he was looking at me and I was expecting one of his cold remarks. But he always surprised me.  
  
"We must eat something and go on walking. It's late" And with those words he didn't open his mouth again during breakfast. I looked at him but he was absent minded, thinking of something.. sure I had made him upset.. how could I end in that position? I had fallen asleep, obviously.. but how could I do that in my sleep? That was so embarrassing! Suddenly he looked at me.  
  
"Zana.. " he stopped talking. My heart was beating so fast.  
  
"What?.." I waited, and waited.  
  
"Your heart beats too strongly and this morning woke me up. " A kind of smile on his lips.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked as arrogantly as I could, but it was impossible.  
  
"When you're nervous your heart makes a loud noise that can be heard by elves"  
  
"I'm not nervous" I said.. stupid answer, yes.. because in that moment I thought I would explode, so fast it beated. He smiled again.  
  
"I would like to know what makes you so nervous, but I suppose you won't tell me.."  
  
"You know what makes me nervous? Not knowing what to expect from you. If you're kind, or angry, or arrogant.. I can't live like this, I never know how will you react!" I was talking too fast.  
  
"Because sometimes you make things that surprise me so much and I don't know how to react.. what did you expect from me this morning, after what you did?"  
  
"Listen to me, Haldir.." I pointed at him with a piece of Lembas.. yes, as if that was a knife. But words didn't come to my mouth. He stood up and walked towards me. We stared at each other for some seconds and finally he kneeled beside me. I was totally speechless. I couldn't read in his blue eyes but I noticed a change inside them. I couldn't tell what was that.  
  
"Control yourself the next time" he whispered , with his ironic smile. I could have killed him, yeah. He gave some steps away from me, and turned back with a worried expression in his face. "Have you eaten enough breakfast?" I nodded . He picked up his things, I did the same, wrapping myself with his warm clothes. I would have killed for a hot bath.. or a shower.. sure I looked horrible.. and this thought sounded superficial to me. As if Haldir cared about my appearance.. he compared me with dwarves..uf.  
  
"Then we must go on, Zana" He gave me a strange look and we came inside a deep forest. I followed him, and the cold morning woke me up completely.. why did I have to choose winter for ending up in Middle Earth? 


	20. Something that you said

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana. *********************  
  
Another chapter that comes so fast! TV is so boring lately that I prefer to sit here with my music and make Zana advance a bit.. : ) Well, if you're curious.. no, Legolas didn't disappear from the story, of course! : )  
  
Thanks for all your reviews!  
  
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Something that you said  
  
Turned me from the inside out  
  
Running threw my head  
  
Something i have dreamed about  
  
And i feel so real, and it feels so right  
  
Something that you said- The Bangles  
  
I couldn't believe that we had been walking only for one hour and that I was already so tired.. that elf was right, maybe I wasn't in my best shape.. I remembered the days I played basketball in the school team.. I wasn't the best but I exercised twice a week and I was more resistant.. now, after a lot of years, I had lost all that energy.. well, with classes, travelling by bus.. who had time to play a sport? Nobody, of course.  
  
I was breathing strongly after climbing a small hill.. stones were wet and I was sliding and falling from time to time.. and Haldir sometimes helped me, sometimes smiled at me.. he was so agile and strong and I was sure that, after all, I would loose the bet and who knows what kind of thing I would have to make as a punishment.. maybe climbing or running for the rest of my days there.. yes, sure he would make me move, make footing every morning while they would be sleeping..  
  
And I wondered why he was so silent.. the journey was hard itself, but that silence didn't help too much. He even didn't look at me. Strange. Well, what could I expect? I had jumped on him while I was sleeping.. but .. if elves were so sensitive and they woke up so easily.. how come he didn't wake up? Everything was so confusing and it was better not to think.. i already had spent too many hours thinking the past days.  
  
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Haldir found a new difficulty on that journey.. he was afraid of looking at Zana , about her reaction.. what had happened last night made him change completely. After all, he spent the night holding a human girl next to him.. he pretended he was sleeping, he had watched her while she was lost somewhere, dreaming, resting.. and when suddenly a nightmare made her shake and he hugged her closer, until she put her face on his shoulder.. Why did he do that? Yes, he was wondering this all time. But he couldn't find a reasonable explanation. He had to admit that he liked to be near from her. And when he heard the king saying that he was the chosen one to travel with her, he was so surprised that he couldn't react.. he felt.. happy.. Haldir of Lorien happy with a human girl? He smiled at himself.. that was impossible.  
  
Sometimes he watched at her.. she looked so tired.. the journey was too hard for a normal person who is not used to that.. she had come from a strange place where they moved using machines, between big buildings.. and he felt a bit sorry for her.. only a bit, because she was too proud to admit how she felt.. her face was pale and she had red nose because of cold temperatures.. she looked so young and .. no, no, he should stop thinking about her in that way.. she was a human! Her dark eyes looked at him , and they reminded him of the stars in the night. But something worried him, and he couldn't tell what was it.. the mission.. it would be a lot more difficult than they all had thought.  
  
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The wind became stronger after we crossed the forest, and I had to close my eyes for a while. Haldir was smiling.. he was so strange. Suddenly he looked back and became serious again.  
  
"Can you walk, Zana? Or maybe you give up and we can say that I already won the bet?" His sarcastic voice gave me forces to go on.  
  
"I feel well, and you won't ever win " I said , but I was almost breathless. He smiled.  
  
"Look at yourself, you almost can't breath.. come on, walk here and we'll sit for some minutes" He said, taking my arm. But I refused him.  
  
"I don't need to sit down, we can go on walking" He looked at me with sceptical gaze, his blue eyes on mines.  
  
"Ok, we'll see if you can go on like this for more time, Zana. Don't be so proud and stupid, you need to rest"  
  
"Oh.. and now you worry about me?" He shook his head, giving up, and went on walking. I didn't know why I was angry with him.. after all, he was showing a kind of kindness.. but I was tired and when I was like this, I was unbearable.  
  
Some metres away there was a high cliff, something shocking.. the green grass, the rocks, everything ended in a narrow path. From the edge everything could be seen.. all the wonderful landscape of Middle Earth. Haldir stood there for a moment, watching that amazing view. He looked back.  
  
"Come here, you must see it" He said. But he was too close to the edge, and I felt something in my stomach.. I wasn't afraid of high places, but that was too high for me. I shook my head, wrapping myself in those big clothes. The clouds in the sky moved with the wind, and in the distance I saw a lightening. Haldir walked towards me and gave me his hand. "I won't let you fall" His smile was suspicious. Well, or this I thought in that moment.. I knew that an elf would never let that happen.  
  
"How can I know that you won't let me fall?" I asked, joking, trying to watch over his shoulder, in the distance. He took my hand in reply and we walked to the edge.  
  
"Because if you fall, I'll fall with you" I looked at him, but he was staring at the sky. Yes, he was always absent minded. But with my hand in his hands I felt more self confident, and I looked down.. I had never seen a place like this before.. it was so high that it seemed we were inside a plane.  
  
"Wow.. and I thought I was completely safe inside those machines.." I murmured, remembering all my journeys I had made. Crossing the Alps in a small Boeing in the middle of a storm like last summer seemed nothing in comparison with that.  
  
"You always talk about strange things" He looked at me, but I didn't explain anything. I knew that he wouldn't listen to me although I did it. And I didn't realise I was holding his hand so tightly , probably deep inside me I was afraid of falling. He looked down and smiled. " I see you don't trust me enough.. well, well.. this is not a good sign, after all, you're lost in the middle of nowhere with an elf, someone you think that would let you fall from this cliff.. how would you protect yourself form someone so horrible like me?" he was always with that irony..  
  
" I know you would never let me fall, Galadriel would kill you" I smiled and walked back to a safer place.. but he kept my hand in his, and when I looked back he was upset, sad.. I didn't know how to describe that expression.  
  
"You don't believe that elves are the most perfect beings of Middle Earth, right? " he was asking that seriously. Perfects? He was so arrogant. "You really think that I would hurt you? Or kill you? " He came close to me and there was pain in his gaze. I was a bit ashamed of myself.. after all, in the Earth we were more used to jokes and double- sensed phrases.. because I had to admit that humans were worst beings than them..  
  
"I'm sorry" I murmured. " I was only joking" We stared at each other until he left my hand and went on walking. During one hour he didn't open his mouth again. But that time would be different, because I asked the question he less expected for sure.  
  
"Haldir.. what about your.. eh.. elf-girl? " He watched at me so surprised.  
  
"What ?" He was upset.. or shocked.. well, obviously he didn't react very well. But it was too late and I had to go on asking.  
  
"I asked you about your girlfriend." He still looked confused. "You know.. like the Arwen for every Aragorn" I smiled, trying to make that situation less uncomfortable. But he moved his hand in the air.  
  
"I know what you're asking me, Zana. But I can't believe that you asked it" He said, with a sharp voice.  
  
"Why is it so bad? It's just a common question.." I said, and he stopped walking, near from the edge of the cliff, because we were still walking down to the valley. I looked down and saw the height, and something inside my head started to spin. Haldir didn't notice it. He was angry.  
  
"Haldir.. I'm feeling dizzy.." I whispered. And it was true.. but he went on talking.  
  
"The heart of an elf is so private and when we decide to give it, it's forever, you know? So we don't have old girlfriends, like humans.. once we find the elf girl we never leave her" His words were so nice, yes, but I felt as if I was going to faint.it was so strange, I was resistant to those things.. but it seemed I was too nervous.  
  
"Haldir, please.."  
  
"What?" And I saw the ground moving and moving.. he looked at me worried, and fortunately I didn't faint, I just fell on my knees.  
  
"Zana!" he held my arm and helped me to stand up. He was really worried. "You almost fainted, you could have fallen!" He shouted, nervous, checking if I was ok.  
  
"I know, it's because of height.." I closed my eyes, but feeling a bit better.. "If I had a Coke here I would be the happiest girl in the world.. Coke always helps me, you know? " I asked him but of course, he was confused. I smiled. He didn't stop looking at me. "I just need some sugar.. it's because I walked too much and.." I stopped talking.. I had admitted it.. too much exercise for me.  
  
"I told you that you needed to rest" He said, and looked for a stone where to sit. It was big enough for both of us. I drank some of that sweet juice I had in a bottle, and felt a lot better. Inside me, because I was wondering about my appearance.. sure I was a mess.. I laughed, thinking of my behaviour on Earth.. when it was rainy and windy outside I was worried about hair, about everything.. yes, sometimes I was so stupid.. and now I was sitting there, without mirrors, without anything.. not even water or toilets or showers.. and the thing that most surprised me was that Haldir looked perfect.. yes, elves were perfect after all..  
  
"Why are you laughing?" He asked me, looking over his shoulder. But he looked kind..  
  
"Nothing.. I was remembering some stupid things from Earth.. " I went on smiling.  
  
"Tell me about your home" I looked at him surprised. He was interested on my past life, amazing.. more lightenings came and a cold wind with them.. but I always had liked storms.. I found them fascinating. "What?" He said " You're surprised that I want to know a bit more about the girl who is crossing half of Middle Earth with me? "  
  
"Well, what do you want to know? I already made you a too personal question that made you so angry.. so you have my permission to ask what you want" I hoped he would be kind.. but I was wrong.  
  
"Ok.. I return you the question" His blue eyes smiled with an evil bright. I knew it.  
  
"Yes.. well, I had a boyfriend on Earth" He was looking at me but I wasn't able to do the same, because I was afraid of the end of that speech.. usually when I started talking about feelings I always got a bit lost.. " He lived in another country.well, place, if you understand it better.. and I thought I loved him so much"  
  
"You "thought"? " He asked, with curiosity.. "How can you not know it?"  
  
"Because one day your life changes so much and you realise that you didn't think of him for the past four days and.." I stopped, because I was talking too much. He was still staring at me.  
  
"And?" He was insisting.. and he was sitting too close to me again.  
  
"And I suppose that if you can forget about someone so easily, it's because you didn't love him at all.. I was confused and I discovered that there was no love between us." I shut up and looked at the sky.  
  
"Zana.." I was afraid of watching at him. "How did you discover that you didn't love him?" His voice had changed.. it sounded deep and.. sweet.. I took a deep breath.  
  
"Because I know it" This didn't sound convincing, and he repeated the question, half smiling. I smiled too.. all the sadness was almost gone.  
  
"If you go on insisting like this I won't tell you anything else" But he became serious.  
  
"It's Legolas, right? " He finally had said that.. why? I blushed deeply, and he noticed it because he smiled.  
  
"What do you mean?" I felt so embarrassed, and he sighed.  
  
"You know what I mean, because you're not stupid" He whispered.  
  
"So now I'm intelligent? But you had the worst idea about me, and now you say something good! I'm surprised" I tried to make a joke out of that, but he was talking seriously.  
  
"Zana, why don't you want to admit it? You love him, it's obvious" I stood up, feeling bad.. but feeling bad because I couldn't admit that.. it wasn't true.. in that moment Legolas wasn't inside my head and I was so sure about that. Haldir looked at me as I started to walk around the place.  
  
"Haldir, I can't admit something that it's not true.. I don't know if you'll believe me or not.. but I promise you that right now in this moment is not Legolas the one who is inside my head" I realised about what I had just said.. no, no! that sounded almost like a confession! Haldir frowned, and I tried to fix the situation. "I mean, you know.. he's not inside my head because nobody is inside my head! " I tried to look indifferent, and started to play with a small flower I had taken from the ground. But Haldir was quiet. "Ok, Haldir.. I don't know what did you understand from this conversation, but.."  
  
"You're too complicated , you know?" He interrupted me, standing up too. But there was something different in his eyes again. "Lets go on walking.. we already rested enough time" He turned around and followed a path. I hoped that soon we would be in the valley, near from a river that could be seen from there.. and although it was so cold that it seemed that snow was coming, I was wishing to take a kind of bath..  
  
"How deep is that river? Do you think I could come inside?" I asked, trying to make a new conversation.  
  
"That river is deep enough to take a bath, if this is what you're asking.. but you're crazy if you plan to swim with this temperature" He looked at me with surprised eyes.  
  
"Well.. I think I need all those wonderful elvish products that keep humans clean for three or four days.." I said, and he smiled.  
  
"You took a bath yesterday so the effect of those products still will last for some more time" He was right.. but what if we didn't find a river again? He read my mind, of course. "Don't worry, there's a nice small lake in our way, and in two days you'll be able to do there all what you want. Now, walk with me and don't talk too much or you'll get tired"  
  
"Just one more question, Haldir" He stopped and watched at me. The path was so narrow that we were so close. "Why are you smiling all time? Maybe you don't realise but you have a kind of smile in your lips since we left the top of the hill"  
  
"Maybe because of something that you said.." He said, with mysterious voice. Giving me a last look before going on walking, he smiled kindly. Ahh.. those elves and their mysteries.. 


	21. Almost, almost

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana***********  
  
Hi!You all are so kind! Thank you very much for your reviews! Hiko- sama, you're right, it's strange that you can't find the story in the search option.. maybe you're right and it's because I didn't get enough reviews.. but hey, I'm so happy with all of you, so who needs more? : ) Thank you for your nice words, really.  
  
And what else can I say? That I hope you'll also like this one and I promise that tomorrow you'll get another one! Now that things are becoming more and more complicated.. : )  
  
*************** *********** ****************  
  
The dice decide my fate  
  
And that's a shame  
  
In these trembling hands my faith  
  
Tells me to react, 'I don't care'  
  
Maybe it's unkind that I should change  
  
A feeling that we share  
  
Such a shame- Talk Talk  
  
Silence wrapped us during the following two hours.. I was tired again, and Haldir walked in front of me, showing the path.. sometimes he turned back to check if I was there, and then he went on walking.. we crossed small forests, small rivers.. I didn't feel the cold any more, because those elvish clothes were really warm and I was moving constantly. Anyway, at some point I started to miss hot coffee, and I wished I had something warm to drink.  
  
We were near from the valley we had seen from the top of the hill. The grass covered the ground, and the rocks were bigger there.. strange landscape.. tall and leafy trees, a small river and the sound of thunders.. really amazing, and once more, I would have killed for a camera. The breeze was cold, and I looked at the sky. Maybe it was going to start raining soon.  
  
"We must hurry a bit now, Zana.. soon we'll arrive in a quiet place where there's a small lake and a cave. It will be raining and we need a shelter" Haldir stopped to tell me this.  
  
"Faster than now? Ok, ok.. but I'll be dead soon!" I said, taking a deep breath.  
  
"Don't exaggerate, come on" He took my arm and pushed me. After some minutes he was again too advanced and I walked alone behind him. That was so boring.. but the landscape was worth..  
  
Now we were entering in a deep forest, dark, I would say.. Haldir walked a bit slowly, as if he was checking something.. he stopped and then chose a path. I followed him and after advancing some steps we ended in a wonderful place.. that was the word for it, wonderful.. it looked like a garden. A huge rock had a cave inside, small one, where we would be able to sit and rest protected from rain. Around it, tall trees and, in the centre, a small lake, so small that it looked more like a swimming pool. Great. A place where to take a bath. The light turned into green, because of leafs, and there was peace there, it made me feel a lot better.  
  
"We can spend here some time until you'll feel more rested" Haldir said, putting his bag inside the hole of the rock. Then he walked towards the water, and with his hand he tested temperature, smiling. "I knew there was a hot lake near from Lorien and I finally found it"  
  
"Hot? This is great!" I shouted, throwing my bag on the ground and kneeling next to him. Yes, it was hot and clear, a light green water that invited me to come in. I looked at Haldir, he was serious. I wondered what was inside his head. Something worried him, that was sure. "Haldir.. " he looked at me. "Do you feel well?" he was surprised with my question, and stood up.  
  
"Of course, why do you ask me this?"  
  
"Forget it" I whispered, and carrying my bag to the small cave, I looked for the toilet products, and also for clean underwear. I was so happy because finally I was able to enjoy a hot bath.. but.. I realised about something. I didn't have swimsuit, of course.. and I had to wash the underwear so I wouldn't be able to use it as a bikini.. well, of course I couldn't take a bath to become clean wearing dirty underwear.. "Great" I murmured, thinking.  
  
"What's wrong?" Haldir walked towards me, and looked at the things I had in my hands. And he smiled. "Oh.. I understand" He sat with me, and sighed. "You see.. I have the same problem.. " I looked at him and at first I didn't understand.  
  
"What do you mean?" And his eyes were looking at my bag, and then at me, and I realised about that.. "Ok, we have a problem.. what would Gimli do on a situation like this one?" I asked, and Haldir laughed.  
  
"Gimli would never worry about taking a bath, Zana" He had an evil smile. " Ok, we'll make turns.. the first turn is for you, in the meanwhile I'll go for a walk around this place and I'll return in ten minutes.. you have to be ready by then because I'll come back and I don't want surprises" He was smiling, and then stood up. "And then you will go for a walk and you will leave me alone during the same time.. we agree on this?" I nodded, standing up . I left my boots near from the bag, and I started to unbutton the warm sweater. But Haldir was still there.  
  
"So.. do you plan to leave?" I asked, with irony. And to my surprise, he looked shocked and apologised, leaving soon. He was acting so strange, and I couldn't tell why. I went on with the process and finally I stepped into the water.. it was deep enough and it covered almost all my body.. and it was so warm.. I would have stayed there for hours, but I had few time.. I put some shampoo and gel and then I swam until I removed all the soap. That place was magic.. great.. and I lost notion of time.. I closed my eyes and relaxed after the hard day walking and climbing. The smell of the elvish products was so nice, like the smell of the forest.  
  
"Your time is over" I heard his sarcastic voice and opened my eyes, making sure that water covered me completely. He was standing in the edge of the lake, with his ironic smile. " And you forgot to pick up the towel, you're a mess.." He showed me it, and then turned around. "Go out from the water and wrap yourself, it's cold outside" And I didn't know what to do.. I couldn't walk completely naked in front of him.. I knew he wouldn't watch, but.. it was like walking naked in the street, although you knew that it would be empty.. I just couldn't. "Zana.. go out from the water" He asked again.. and I supposed I had to do it. Taking the towel and making sure that he was looking far away in the distance, I stepped outside. The cold wind made me breath strongly.  
  
"Uf, it's so cold and this towel it's too small" I shouted, and he laughed.  
  
"I know, this is why you must hurry, dry yourself and then look for something to light a fire" He turned around and checked me. Why did he do that? I felt so embarrassed. I wasn't able to move, so frozen I was. "Zana, hurry or you'll catch a cold!" And he was right, yes.. so I ran towards the cave and hurried as I never had hurried before.  
  
Yes, but I did everything, getting dressed, forgetting that he was still there behind me.. I put the underwear and then my clothes, everything, in front of him. When I was warm again I stopped and blushed deeply, aware of what I had done.. I wished he wasn't there, I wished he had the decency to look at another place.. so when I turned around and I saw him staring at the lake, I sighed, happy. Yes, after all, he was a nice elf and he was a gentleman.  
  
"Are you ready?" He asked, but didn't look back.  
  
"Yes, yes.." I walked towards the path, leaving him alone. The forest was so deep that I almost couldn't see anything beyond the trees. I noticed that birds weren't singing.. maybe because it was winter, I don't know.. but that silence was a bit scary.. I didn't walk too far away, afraid of getting lost. When I stopped to go back, my heart almost stopped beating. I had heard a noise. yes, I was completely sure. I searched for someone or something with my eyes.. and I remembered all the stories I had read, how girls sent to Middle Earth were caught by orcs.. but the war was over , I shouldn't be afraid.. anyway, I was in the land of magic, I could find anything there.. and this scared me.. I waited but nothing happened. Whatever it was, it was gone. And ifelt a hand on my shoulder, and I shouted.  
  
"Hey, it's me!" Haldir tried to calm me, but I was too scared. He had been so fast washing and I was surprised. I really didn't expect him there.  
  
"I heard a noise, and I was waiting for something and then you came.." I took a deep breath. "One day you'll kill me, Haldir of Lorien, I told you this lots of times" He was smiling at me.  
  
"We're alone here, Zana. Don't worry. Now come back, we have to eat something, and we'll make a fire for the night." I looked at him with surprise.  
  
"For the night? But it's midday.." He nodded.  
  
"Well, a strong storm is coming and I'm sure we'll have to wait here, inside the small cave.. maybe some hours" He looked at me, and I shrugged.  
  
"It's ok with me.. I suppose" And we walked back together.  
  
---------------- ------------------- -------------------- ------ -----------------  
  
"You, stupid dwarf" Legolas looked at Gimli so angry. They were hidden behind a bush when they saw Zana. "She almost discovered us!"  
  
"It's not my fault, we've been walking the whole time behind them, you weren't patient enough to wait one more day, of course.. you had to leave three hours after they left, elf" Gimli stood up, looking at Legolas so angry.  
  
"Don't complain and lets look for a shelter" Legolas looked around himself. "We must stay far away from Haldir"  
  
"I know, this is why we had agreed on waiting one-more-day" Gimli spelled the last part, beating on Legolas arm. "Why did you hurry so much? Why?"  
  
"You know why, so stop talking or.." But he looked at Gimli and sighed. "I'm sorry, Gimli.. I just couldn't wait more inside palace. What if something happened to them? "  
  
They both walked for one hour in the opposite direction, looking for a shelter that was enough far away from Zana and Haldir, and they found another cave. Legolas sat down and closed his eyes. The hours he had spent without Zana had been too long.. he missed her more than he thought he would, and the waiting was killing him. Two days almost.. and two days more before arriving in Lorien. The bet they made was about eight days.. so if things went on like this, Zana would win. He smiled with this thought. That girl was amazing.  
  
"I'm hungry" Gimli complained. He took Legolas bag and looked for lembas.  
  
"It was you the one who insisted on walking with me, so now you have to carry with the consequences" The dwarf made a noise and then stepped inside his sleeping bag.  
  
"It's cold" He went on murmuring, and Legolas almost lost his patience. "And I'm bored"  
  
"Gimli!" He shouted, looking at the dwarf. "Please.. shut up.. or go back to Mirkwood" His blue eyes were cold and the dwarf shook his head.  
  
"Love spoils elves, my friend.. you're not funny any more. I'll be sleeping until tomorrow so don't wake me up"  
  
Rain came, strong rain that forced them to go a bit deeper in that cave. Legolas looked at the sky and sighed.. that would last some hours and the waiting would be horrible again.. hours inside the cave and with an asleep dwarf..  
  
------------- ----------------- ------------------- ------------------- ---------------  
  
Two hours had passed since we had lunch and since we had to go inside the cave. It was big enough for both of us and the thing I most liked was that it looked like a balcony from where I could see the rain and thunders without any danger. But it was cold.. the cold rock that made me shake. Haldir had been quiet again, and suddenly he looked at me.  
  
"You're cold again.. " He said , taking his bag. "Use the sleeping bag" I looked at him, not very sure. "Zana.." he said, insisting. And I made a kind of bed and stepped inside. It was six or seven in the afternoon , already getting dark.. and I was so tired.. really tired. The fire we made was small but it kept the place warm. The truth is that I felt very well.  
  
"It will be raining all night.." Haldir murmured, and I looked at him. He was absent minded, thinking.. like always, his gaze lost somewhere. "So.. " He said, turning around to sit facing me. " How will we spend those hours?" We stared at each other for some time. I noticed that soon I would blush, so I looked at the sky.  
  
"It's almost dark.. I think we should sleep and rest and tomorrow wake up earlier.." I saw him smiling.  
  
"I see you don't want to talk about anything tonight" I was playing with the sleeves of the sweater, trying to keep me calmed. My heart was beating fast again.. why???  
  
"What do you want to talk about?" I looked at him again.  
  
"About your heart" he whispered.  
  
"What?" Now I really blushed deeply.  
  
"About your beatings.. it's amazing how fast and strongly it beats.." he said in low voice. I covered myself with the sleeping bag, as if that could hide the noise. And he laughed.. "No, don't worry, you can't avoid it"  
  
"My heart beats like this when I'm angry" I lied, trying to look upset. But I knew he wouldn't believe me, and his smile told me this. Another uncomfortable silence. The rain became stronger, also the thunders. And Haldir had to sit just next to me to keep himself protected from water. Yes, too close, like always. I didn't move, I couldn't.  
  
"Zana.." He started to speak but he made a pause.. "I know that the idea of sleeping makes you uncomfortable" His eyes on mines, and I felt embarrassed again. "And you know that I also can feel the cold and I need the sleeping bag.." I nodded, but didn't say anything. All from the sudden I was shocked again. "Well.. I think we should sleep, it's already dark" He waited for my reply, but I didn't know what to say. I just moved to let him a free place.. He came inside and we laid down. "Zana, now you have to come closer or else I won't be able to close this" I would have said that he was smiling.. but I wasn't able to look directly at his face. So I repeated the last night's operation and finally we were comfortable enough to try to sleep. But again, I couldn't. I couldn't , I couldn't, I couldn't. A strong thunder made me jump inside the sleeping bag.. it had fallen near from there.  
  
"This was so..!!" I said, changing from position, scared. And I was facing him. So close to him that I could feel his breathing in my face. I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry.. that scared me, I mean, it's not like being inside your flat during a storm.." But he didn't reply. I opened my eyes, and he was still staring at me. All time. "Haldir.." He didn't reply. And I came closer. I had to do it and I didn't know why.. our faces so close that just with a small movement I would have kissed him. "Can I ask you something..?" I whispered.. but he didn't reply.. that was strange.. I had a big need in that moment.. I needed to kiss him, I was coming closer and closer, and he didn't complain.. so maybe that was "the moment".. but all the magic disappeared as soon as I discovered that he was already sleeping! Sleeping! Anyway, I was glad , I almost had made a big mistake, a big nonsense! What was I thinking about?! I moved again and looked at the opposite direction.. my heart was beating fast, yes.. something had changed inside me and if Haldir had been awake now he would be firing me from the sleeping bag. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down.  
  
------ ------------ ------------- ----------- -----------------  
  
Haldir's heart was beating so fast, as fast as possible.. he was pretending to be sleeping.. and again that girl made him shocked.. was he dreaming or she was trying to kiss him? Was she going to ask for permission? She was strange indeed.. but now he was too amazed to rest. He needed to think about that big change on her. And to his surprise, he needed a big self control or else he would have moved some millimetres and kiss her back. What was happening to him? 


	22. Forever

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana**********  
  
This morning I found out that my reviews had increased from 64 to84, and I was so happy! Namarie2legolas, again thanks for everything!  
  
Priestess of Anubis.. Be patient! : )  
  
And to all of you, who are reading my story.. I'm always repeating myself but thank you very much!  
  
I discovered this song.. I didn't like dance songs, but this one has something special and I decided to put it here.. somehow it made me think.. well, you should download it!  
  
****************** ***************** *********************  
  
At night you reach towards the sky  
  
The world you see inside me eyes  
  
And you know you've been here before  
  
Always with me, you're never alone  
  
So hold me forever  
  
Let's stay together, never let me go  
  
So hold me forever  
  
I'm lost without you, won't you take me home  
  
Forever- N-Trance  
  
I opened my eyes, slowly, afraid of how would I find myself inside that sleeping bag. The sun was already high and it kept the small cave warm. I noticed that there was a lot of space there, and when I turned back I saw I was alone. For a moment I felt so scared.. what if Haldir had decided to leave me? But soon that thought went out of my head.. no, he would never make something like this.  
  
I sat down and looked around.. what a wonderful view.. the light of the sun through the trees made a kind of green effect, magic. But I was thirsty, so I took some juice for the bottle.. it was almost over. And I looked at Haldir's bag, probably he would have something there. I picked it up and checked inside. I wasn't a curious person and I wasn't interested on what he had inside, but.. I found something so nice, a kind of pendant with a symbol on the front part.. a kind of big "L" wrapped by leafs.. I tried to open it but I felt a kind of beat inside my head.. the jewel started to shine and I heard a voice.. yes, a woman's voice.. I was so scared, wondering if I was becoming crazy.. that voice spoke in a strange language I couldn't understand. And as soon as I left the pendant, the feeling disappeared . I left everything where it was before, my heart beating so fast. Probably it was something that Galadriel had given him.. but.. why? With what meaning? Because as far as I knew, Galadriel was Celeborn's wife? Or maybe I was confused and all what I had read was forgotten? Yes, in that moment I couldn't tell who was who in that story. I heard steps, and returned to my seat in the sleeping bag. Haldir came walking ,slowly.  
  
"Good morning, Zana.. I've been searching something , I heard noises last night and I just wanted to make sure" He sat near from me, and took his bag. I became nervous, and he looked at me. Sure he was hearing my heart again. But he didn't comment anything, he just smiled. And when he took the bag with food, his expression changed.. as if he had seen a ghost. Maybe he had realised about what I made .. maybe Galadriel talked to him.. "Have you heard that?" He asked, in low voice. I felt more relaxed, but only for a while, because now a bigger worry had come.  
  
"No.. what's wrong?" he didn't reply, he just listened. His blue eyes concentrated on something in the distance, as if he was able to see something far away.  
  
"Eat something fast.. here you have drinks. Because we must leave at once. Someone is following us" He looked at me and I froze. So I was right, the previous day I had heard something and it wasn't my imagination. I ate breakfast as fast as I could while we packed our things again.  
  
We started to walk again, following another narrow path, and we agreed to be in silence.. I had to admit that I was very scared, after all, I didn't know everything about that world and I wasn't used to horrible creatures like orcs .. but.. there weren't orcs in Middle Earth after the war.. right?  
  
"Haldir.." I whispered, and he turned back his head, frowning, as if he was going to shout "shut up!". "Do you think they are orcs?" Sure he saw my scared gaze, and he shook his head smiling.  
  
"No.. I'm completely sure. Orcs have a strong smell and are noisy.. " We went on walking.  
  
"Then.. who is following us?" I was afraid to ask, and he seemed to be thinking.  
  
"Maybe I'm crazy, but.. I would say that an elf is coming, an elf and another being.."  
  
"What? Who would follow us and why?" But Haldir didn't reply, and a strange smile came to his face, as if he knew the answer. "What? Why are you smiling?"  
  
"I knew it.." He murmured to himself.. but didn't pay attention to me.  
  
"What did you know? Haldir, please!" I took his arm and made him stop.  
  
"We'll arrive in Lorien tomorrow in the morning.. don't worry about anything, nobody will hurt you. And don't go on asking or I'll become really angry" He shut up again and walked in front of me, so silent, for the rest of the morning. Boring, yeah.  
  
-------------- -------------- ---------------- -------------------- ------------------  
  
Legolas stopped, and Gimli behind him.  
  
"What's wrong, Legolas?" The dwarf looked around himself.  
  
"Haldir knows we're here.. I can notice it" His blue eyes stared at the distance. "He discovered me.." His voice was just a whisper. They went on walking, slowly.  
  
During the night Legolas wasn't asleep, and he had decided to walk towards the place where Haldir and Zana were resting.. he had approached there as silent as he could.. and what he had seen made him shocked.. they both were sleeping inside the same.. sleeping bag, yes.. that view made him feel so bad and he had almost jumped there, shouted and.. killed Haldir.. he was so angry that he almost couldn't control himself. When he walked back with Gimli he was out of control.. but decided to calm down and think.. after all, that was predictable.. Haldir loved her and she was confused.. two days walking and sleeping together had been enough for her, enough to forget about everything from Mirkwood.. and he felt a kind of anger towards Zana. But it wasn't her fault.. neither Haldir's fault.. he had arrived too late and all was lost.  
  
"What are you thinking, elf?" Gimli asked, looking at his worried friend. Something had changed since last night.  
  
"Don't speak or he will hear us" His rude answer made the dwarf angry.  
  
"I want to know what happens to you, or else I'll start singing so loud that even in Mirkwood they would hear us" He threatened, and Legolas believed him because he stopped walking.  
  
"Ok, you want to know? Last night I saw Haldir and Zana sleeping together!" He shouted, and the dwarf opened his eyes to their limit. Then , his face became red, so red. Legolas stared at him, and then Gimli exploded like he used to explode, with strong laughs that spreaded all over the valley. He was shaking and laughing like he never did before, and Legolas became so angry, so mad at him. "It's not funny at all, how can you be like this, knowing how I feel about her?" And when Gimli calmed down, took a deep breath.  
  
"I'm sorry, my friend, but this is too funny to see.. the Prince of Mirkwood loosing a stupid battle for a girl.. this is too much.. Legolas.. why are you wasting your time on this? You're a lot more important than any of them.. go back home, do your work and forget about Zana.. after all what we lived the past months, how can you .. spend your time following them? Don't you realise that you're making something you would have never made when the war happened? I can't recognise you, and I don't like this new elf". Legolas looked shocked after those words. He sat on a rock and covered his face with his hands.  
  
"I don't know what is happening to me, Gimli.. but I can't give up, I just can't because I'm not like this. So I only ask you for this: walk with me if you want, or leave if you prefer.. but don't ever laugh or comment anything about this.. you can't imagine how I feel inside and you're hurting me more than one hundred arrows from any of Sauron's orcs" Gimli tried not to smile.. Legolas was becoming poetic.. but he shut up and nodded.  
  
"I promise" After saying this, they both went on walking in silence.  
  
----------- ---------------- ---------------- --------------- ---------- --------- -------------  
  
Haldir was thinking as he was walking.. Legolas was following him, probably with Gimli, and that surprised him a lot.. he couldn't have imagined that the elf was so serious about that girl.. and a strange feeling came to him.. He saw an enemy on Legolas.. but that was impossible, they both were elves, they were friends, they fought together.. and now, he.. hated him? No, that was impossible.. he sighed. He had a strange feeling, he wouldn't allow the elf to spoil anything.. but spoil what? What was happening in reality?  
  
They started to climb a small hill, Zana behind him. He looked at her, she was staring at the ground, lost in her thoughts. And when he was looking at her he felt a warm feeling.. yes, something new, but nice.. as if he needed to protect her.. he smiled.. what would they think of him in Lorien? He really needed to arrive there, place himself and start being himself again.. that was lasting too much and he was too confused.. he was an important elf and he was apart from love and girls.. his mission was very different from that , he wasn't destined to love, he was a soldier. But those thoughts made him feel even worse.  
  
--------------- -------------------- -------------------- ----- --------------  
  
I was wondering why did Haldir have that strange smile again.. maybe he was laughing at me.. after all, I was so tired that I almost couldn't realise where I was.. it was amazing that, by that moment, I was making the journey in a good time.. yes, maybe I would even win the bet.. but the thing that worried me was the way back to Mirkwood.I would be too tired to walk so fast.. and then.. the bet would be lost.. I sighed, and Haldir looked back.  
  
"Something worries you?" he showed a kind of curious gaze.. strange.. I was expecting a joke or an ironic remark.  
  
"No.. I was just thinking.." I shrugged, and he smiled.  
  
"Yes, me too.." We both kept silence. Like always. And the next hours passed like this.. walking, crossing forests, small rivers.. stopping to drink something.. but always in silence.. more than never before. Sometimes I looked at him, just to check if there was a new expression on his face.. but nothing.. he didn't look at me in the whole day.. and after some hours, after having lunch while we were walking, without stopping, I lost all notion of time.. I was really tired, I couldn't tell what time was it, but it was getting dark again and my legs didn't obey me.  
  
"Haldir.." I almost couldn't speak. He stopped and came where I was standing. "I've been walking all day, we didn't stop for hours and I'm sorry, but I really can't go on, I'm sorry" I looked at him and he was smiling in the sweetest way.  
  
"You walked like an elf and I'm proud of you. To be honest, I thought that you would give up soon.. but I see you're more resistant than I thought" He put his hand over my shoulder. "I was planning to stop near from here and look for a place where to sleep.. in the end of this path there's a nice open field. Come, walk just a bit more"  
  
We arrived there and I threw myself in the ground.. it was an open field, with big and strong trees. We put our bags under one of them. It was a starry night and I sighed. I loved starry nights. We both sat and looked at the sky.  
  
"I was wondering many times if in your world you can see the same stars" Haldir said, and I remembered that it was exactly what I had thought in Mirkwood. Surprised, I looked at him.  
  
"Yes, I also wondered about this some days ago.. and we share the same sky at nights, nothing changed through those years and this is amazing.. because earth changed completely, but stars remained the same.." I leaned against the tree and smiled. The view was relaxing.. and I also realised that I was having a nice conversation with Haldir.  
  
"Do you miss your world?" He asked, all from the sudden. And I looked at him.. he was staring at me too. After some seconds, I shook my head. "This means "no"? " He asked, with a smile.  
  
"I don't miss my world and this is what scares me" I whispered. He turned a bit to see me better.  
  
"Why does it scare you?" I saw a shooting star and didn't comment anything. I made a wish, but of course, I didn't believe in those things and probably it wouldn't become true. I watched at him.  
  
"It scares me because when I'll return I won't be able to be happy never again" I realised about what I had said, and blushed.. but it was true. He moved his head and watched the landscape.  
  
"But.. why do you have to go back?" His voice was just a soft whisper and I almost couldn't hear it..  
  
"Usually bad things happen easily.. " I smiled, sadly. Yes, I was pessimistic.. but I knew that sooner or later that mission or whatever it was, would end.. and I would have to return to the modern world and I wouldn't be able to bear that. "Haldir.. I've been here only four or five days.. and I already found out that I don't want to leave.. so.. after being here during months.. how will I feel leaving this? I can't imagine it, it will be horrible!" I was almost crying, and he didn't say anything.  
  
"You still don't know about your mission, Zana.. don't hurry things. We can't know what will happen.."  
  
"We..?" I asked, surprised because he included himself in my plans. He shook his head.  
  
"I mean.. you.. your mission". He stepped inside the sleeping bag, it was already dark and cold. "Come in, we must sleep.. it was a long and tired day" I looked at him and placed myself there. After some minutes I turned around to face him .  
  
"Haldir.." He blinked, as if he was.. nervous? "What will happen after being in Lorien?"  
  
"What do you mean?" he whispered, so close to me.  
  
"What if I have to go on travelling? What if I can't go back to Mirkwood because the mission consists in something completely different? " He thought for some seconds.  
  
"If you had to go on travelling , Galadriel would send the best soldiers to protect you." He smiled.  
  
"Yes.. but. Who are the best soldiers? " I smiled too, and he shrugged.  
  
"I don't know, we'll see.. I'm the Captain, so I'll select them"  
  
"But they can't leave without their Captain.." I whispered, and he stared at me.  
  
"You're right.." We both looked at each other for minutes, I would say. That silence again.. my heart again. "We must sleep, Zana" That broke the magic, yes.. definitely, he wasn't interested on me.. I was so happy that last night I hadn't kissed him.  
  
"I know.." I turned around. "Good night, Haldir.."  
  
"Good night" I felt his arm around me and, in that moment, I forgot about everything. About Earth, Legolas, about all the things that worried me. I just wanted to stay like that forever. 


	23. Look at the stars

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana***********  
  
Back again! It's another kind of "changes" chapter.. well, a new phase starts and the next one will be intense.. but I won't say more : ) by the moment I update this.  
  
Thank you very much for going on reviewing! What would i do without all of you? : ) Oh! If you want, you can tell me about your favourite songs.. I'm running out of songs ideas for each chapter, so suggestions are welcomed!  
  
********************************* ************  
  
Look at the stars  
  
Look how they shine for you  
  
And everything you do  
  
Yeah, they were all yellow  
  
So then I took my turn  
  
Oh what a thing to have done  
  
And it was all yellow  
  
Your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones  
  
Turn into something beautiful  
  
D'you know?  
  
You know I love you so  
  
-Yellow- Cold Play  
  
I woke up in the middle of the night.. it was so dark, and I looked at the sky. Stars were still there. I checked my watch. Four. And I wasn't asleep any more.. that was the last night I would spend like this, maybe.. we would arrive in Lorien and there I would sleep alone, in a room.. and then, if I couldn't go back to Mirkwood.. or even if I went back, they would give me another sleeping bag.. but why was I thinking of that?  
  
I sighed and moved a bit, trying to find a more comfortable position. I noticed that Haldir was sleeping deeply, I could hear his slow breathing, and his arm was over me, but without making force.. yes, he was completely asleep. And I didn't want that night to finish, I was so confused. I turned my head, as slowly as I could, and then I moved until I faced him. Yes, again, like always.. and I knew that, although this situation was familiar to me, nothing would change, because after what had happened some hours before, I was more sure than ever that he didn't like me. And I closed my eyes, thinking. I remembered what Legolas had told me in my balcony.. and I smiled with that memory.. but I wasn't happy at all.. the elf of my dreams had made such a wonderful confession , all the days I had dreamed about that and.. nothing, I felt nothing.. because the only thing I had inside my head was the elf in front of me. If some days ago someone had told me that I was going to travel to Middle Earth, meet Legolas and, in the end, falling for Haldir.. no, I wouldn't have believed that.  
  
Ok, I had to think of that.. I had to make sure that my feelings were what I thought they were in that moment.. but which feelings? How could I have feelings in such a short time? That was too complicated..  
  
"Why are you smiling?" He asked with a nice smile. Yes, of course, he was awake.. and I blushed in the darkness.  
  
"I was just thinking.." I said.  
  
"You're always thinking.." His irony again.  
  
"You too, Haldir.. and you also smile when you think.." He nodded, and we looked at each other in silence.  
  
"Well.. "I was trying to start a conversation, I was a bit ashamed and I felt more shy than ever. "So I let you go on sleeping"  
  
"You know I wasn't sleeping, Zana" That strange tone in his voice.. it sounded so different "And.. why did you wake up? Something troubles you? "  
  
"I was thinking that tomorrow we'll arrive in Lorien and this makes me a bit nervous" I confessed, hiding some information about my real reasons.  
  
"Don't fear anything.. you'll like my home" He sounded so convincing, yes. "And now, please tell me what really worries you" he smiled again.. it seemed he knew me better than I thought.  
  
"What if I say that I can't tell you?" I said, in very low voice, with a big effort, because I knew the consequences that the phrase would cause. And I was right, he blinked and moved his head.  
  
"Why not? "He asked with curiosity. His blue eyes searched on mines, and I tried to hide my face, but obviously I couldn't , we were too close. "What is it? Please, tell me if something is wrong"  
  
"No, nothing is wrong, of course" I smiled. He looked more calmed. "It's only that.. well, it's difficult to tell you this.."  
  
"Now I won't move from here unless you tell me, Zana.." He said so seriously that I got a bit scared. "Your heart tells me that there's something that makes you so nervous.. and you're blushing too.. I'm curious!" He was smiling now.  
  
"Haldir, I can't ! So please, don't go on asking." I closed my eyes, but I felt his hand on my face. I couldn't believe that and, for a moment, I didn't know how to react. I opened my eyes and saw his confused gaze.  
  
"I know that it's because of Legolas, Zana.." He whispered. "And I understand that you feel uncomfortable with me, because you miss him." His hand left my face, and I couldn't help laughing. He looked at me surprised. "Why are you laughing like Gimli? " He asked with sarcastic voice, and I ignored that remark.  
  
"I'm laughing because of what you said about Legolas.. you're totally wrong about this, and I don't know why you don't believe me!" He went on looking at me, and then moved his head.  
  
"Why would I believe you, Zana?" He asked in a provocative way, like a challenge.. yes, he wanted me to talk too much.  
  
"Well, it's your problem if you don't" I sat down, and then looked at his eyes, under my head. "And I repeat that I can't tell you anything about this, because... well, forget it and go on sleeping, ok? "I looked at the stars, and I noticed that he sat down too, next to me.  
  
"Just answer this.." We looked at each other. "Just tell me if what you hide is so important that it's the thing that made you forget about your home.. if this is the mystery that causes this sadness when you think of leaving Middle Earth.." His whispers were charming, like the first time we had met in the halls of Mirkwood.  
  
"Maybe.. "I whispered. And with that answer I saw his eyes brightening and I didn't know why.. he looked.. happy? I couldn't tell.. maybe it was my imagination. How could he be happy if he didn't know what I was talking about?  
  
"I supposed so, yes.. "he murmured, laying again inside the sleeping bag.  
  
"You supposed what? "He looked so sure about himself.. and he didn't reply, he just pointed at my seat.  
  
"Go on sleeping, Zana. In two hours we'll leave again"  
  
"I'm not asleep" I replied, and it was true . I was too nervous to sleep. But then I remembered.. the last night.. and suddenly I laid with him.  
  
"You change your mind so easily, you know it? "He laughed.  
  
"Shut up" I replied, but I was smiling. When he wrapped me with his arms again, I closed my eyes. And fell asleep.  
  
-------------- ------------------- --------------------- ---------- -------------------------  
  
Legolas was staring at the stars, thinking, while Gimli slept some metres far away from him.. he had a too noisy breathing. His thoughts were concentrated on Zana.. he was trying to analyse what was inside his heart, because it was the first time he had found such an obstacle on his life. He had always been able to fix any problem.. he had survived in the most dangerous and complicated situations, but now he found himself totally lost. And he didn't like that.  
  
The sun was rising in the horizon, a small red line over the mountains. He took a deep breath and looked in the distance, where a small fire was shining, almost disappearing.. there, it was there where Haldir and Zana were sleeping.. and the view of last night hurt him more than the first time. Standing up, he packed his things, taking a decision. As soon as they arrived in Lorien, he would look for Zana and tell her.. well, he had to think about that.  
  
"Gimli, wake up" The dwarf complained, murmuring something impossible to understand. "Gimli!"  
  
"What?" He sat down, looking around him. "It's still night, elf!" He shouted, pointing at the sky.  
  
"It's almost six in the morning, we have to go on walking. "He waited for Gimli and searched in the distance again.. the fire had disappeared. "Come on, Gimli.. they're leaving!"  
  
"Never, never again I'll be friend of an elf in love, never.." He was murmuring while he picked up all his things. "Ne-ver!"  
  
------------- --------------- ---------------- --------------- --------- ------  
  
"Zana..Zana, wake up" I heard Haldir's voice in my ears, and I opened my eyes. It was still dark.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked , scared. But he smiled.  
  
"Nothing, it's six and we must go on walking. I want to arrive in Lorien this afternoon and we must hurry. We'll eat breakfast on the way" he stood up, he already had packed all his things.  
  
"You're too fast for me, Haldir.." I made everything slowly, I was so asleep.  
  
"Yes, this is why I'll win the bet if we go back to Mirkwood" He smiled, but his words made me scared.  
  
"If?.." I murmured.. something told me that I would never see Legolas again.. yes, all from the sudden he came to my head.  
  
"I heard you.. but you shouldn't worry about it, you know you won't be alone "He walked towards me. "You know that Galadriel wouldn't allow you to walk alone in your mission"  
  
"Yes, Galadriel, of course.." I said, with sarcasm. Haldir took my hand. I looked at him.  
  
"Not only Galadriel.." He was so serious, and I blushed. Fortunately he started to walk and forgot about that magic moment, because in some minutes I was trying to reach him as we climbed on a hill.  
  
The morning passed so fast, we both walking in silence again.. lost in our own thoughts.. I would have killed for knowing what was inside his head.. but maybe it was better not to know, because maybe I wouldn't have liked it..  
  
The sun was already high in the sky and the landscape changed completely. We stopped in front of a new place.. as if suddenly all the vegetation had turned into forests.. deep forests that looked a bit scary. Haldir smiled, and for the first time in six hours, he spoke.  
  
"This is my home. We're in my land.." He looked so different there.. even more arrogant, more confident.. and I felt so small. Yes, I felt as if he was a famous actor and I was the insignificant girl who looks at him in the distance. Terrible feeling in that moment, because I needed more support than ever. He walked a bit, but I stood there, unable to move. When he finally looked back I was a bit far away.. we stared at each other, and then I sat on a small rock. I saw that he was frowning, and came running.  
  
"I'm scared, Haldir.. I'm scared because now things are different.." He sat next to me, looking with curiosity. I explained. "Until now, we both were guests in another land.. but now.. we're in your home, and.. well, I can't help feeling lonely.. you will have your own business here and.. "I didn't want to say what I was thinking. But he smiled and gave me his hand, helping me to stand up.  
  
"I won't forget about you, Zana, if this is what worries you. We still have to discover lots of things about you.. and remember what Gandalf said.. I'm also involved in this story.. so stop saying nonsense and come with me inside the forest" I left his hand and followed him . Should I feel better? Because I didn't..  
  
We walked for some time among the highest and biggest trees I had ever seen before.. the peace of that place was too.. magic.. as if at any moment a fantastic animal was going to show up. Haldir led me through complicated paths, and sometimes he had to help me or else I wouldn't be able to advance. He looked so concentrated, walking so fast. And with every step I gave, I felt more and more scared. Yes, I was afraid of Galadriel, afraid of what I would find out in Lorien.. afraid of my mission.  
  
I heard the sound of the water near from us.. I remembered there was a river, but I couldn't see it. I just watched at the ground, avoiding all roots, stones and obstacles. The temperature lowered in that place, and the air became thicker.. I almost couldn't breath. The forest had its own defences and I was an intruder .  
  
"Haldir.." I called him, and he stopped. He got scared when he saw my face, sure I looked more nervous that I thought I was. "Is this way too long?"  
  
"Why? Do you feel bad? "He asked, worried.  
  
"No, no.. but I feel as if I couldn't breath.. as if the forest was refusing me.." I saw surprised that he was laughing.  
  
"You have a strong imagination, Zana.. where do you take your ideas from? How can a forest refuse you? "He was smiling, but I wasn't too convinced. "The forest wouldn't refuse you.. but if you weren't wanted here.. you wouldn't be alive by now. So go on walking with me and forget about your worries". That made me even more nervous. Yes, a forest that was able to kill intruders wasn't the best place.. but he said it had accepted me, so somehow I felt a bit better.. and followed him .  
  
After some more minutes, my head started to spin.. I remembered the book ,the movie.. how they heard Galadriel's voice inside their heads.. and I waited.. but nothing happened.. no, because what I found was Galadriel herself, standing in front of us. Haldir greeted her in their own way, and she smiled so kindly at him that I couldn't help feeling.. jealous? No, that was stupid.. Haldir and Galadriel? No, no.. but those smiles.. suddenly she looked at me and I remembered that she was able to read minds, and I blushed deeply.  
  
"So this is Zana.." She walked towards me, and Haldir nodded. I felt observed. "I'm so happy that you're here" she gave me her hand and smiled. I felt more calmed. Then, when she looked in my eyes, I finally heard the voices inside my head. "Forget about this stupid fear you have now.. can't you see that I already found my half- elf?" She laughed and Haldir looked at us with curiosity. I smiled too. Now she spoke in loud voice. "Follow us, Zana. Today you'll rest and see my home.. and tomorrow we'll see what destiny plans for you.." She spoke slowly. "Now, forget about everything until tomorrow. Haldir will take care of you. At night, come to my palace. A servant will lead you to your room, where you will find food and all what you need " She looked at him, and Haldir nodded. Then ,his eyes stared at me and smiled. I felt dizzy.. that place was so magic that all my senses were lost.. almost as if I was drunk.. I felt less shy, more self confident.. and more.. how could I call that? Daredevil?  
  
We walked through the forest and finally I saw Lorien.. the awesome Lorien I had always imagined.. impossible to describe, I only could say it was a lot nicer than Mirkwood, blue lights, green lights all around the trees, the houses.. but not real houses, they were carved in the wood.. that view took my breath away, and I stopped.. just in the place that looked so similar to the place in the movie, where Legolas had heard the lament for Gandalf.. but it was better than in the movie, in real life things were so different and wonderful.  
  
"This is too beautiful to be described.." I said, and Haldir smiled. He came close to me , and Galadriel left us alone, after saying goodbye with a smile.  
  
"So do you like my home?" He asked, with a proud voice, but I had to admit it.. I was shocked.  
  
"It's wonderful, Haldir.. I could stay here forever.." I didn't realise what I was saying, but he looked at me, surprised.  
  
"Are you talking seriously?" I nodded, still incapable of any kind of reaction.. so I didn't think that his question was seriously.. I just nodded and didn't give more importance.  
  
He led me to his house.. a small place near from a small blue lake.. we climbed a kind of stairs made in the wood, and came in. It was just a big room, with a bed, a kind of kitchen.. a big bath.. and from there, I could see the lake, the whole Lorien.. obviously he lived alone, and this made me happy in some way.. this meant he didn't have any elf girl.. I blushed when I thought of this.  
  
"As you can see, I live alone" he said with a smile, reading my mind. "Galadriel will offer you a nice and comfortable place where to sleep, in her palace.." I looked at him.. although the palace would be wonderful and I would have all what I wanted.. the truth is that I didn't want to get separated from Haldir's side. He noticed my doubts, and looked so surprised. "You don't want to go there..? "He asked with.. a shy voice maybe?  
  
"I don't know.. I mean, of course, but.. well.. "I didn't know what to say. "Well, I suppose I have to leave.. Galadriel said I had to go there in the evening.."  
  
"Of course.." He reacted. "I'll go with you and we'll go on talking tomorrow."  
  
Once in the palace, in my room, I felt so alone. The place was amazing, yes.. my bed was perfect, with jewels in the marble, with all what I had dreamed about.. a hot bath, food and drinks.. new clothes.. and peace.. but I felt sad, and I knew why. It was too hard to admit it.  
  
I stepped inside the hot water and closed my eyes. I was really tired, and I needed to sleep that night. Lots of things would happen the following day, and I needed all my forces. After some minutes, I dried myself, put the pyjamas and went to bed. Yes, I was so tired. 


	24. When the evening falls

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana******************  
  
Back from university!  
  
Thank you very much for your reviews! Finally I got the 100th! : ) And also for your information on Haldir.. I was so glad to read that there were two Haldirs and "mine" was the single one : ) Now my story makes more sense and nobody else will be offended. And thank you very much for all the kind words that some of you said about me, encouraging and so on.. really, thank you!  
  
********** ******** ************* ************ ***********  
  
Find me here  
  
speak to me  
  
I want to feel you  
  
I need to hear you  
  
you are the light  
  
that is leading me  
  
to the place where  
  
I find peace again  
  
- Everything- Lifehouse  
  
At that point I needed to think, laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, I decided to be logical and make a schema inside my head. I would be alone for the whole night and there were too many things to understand. The first one about Gandalf's words, some time ago.. Middle Earth had disappeared and the Big Bang brought a new world.. but.. why did that happen? How could a world full of magic stop existing? And if all of them were reincarnated again, then the habitants of Middle Earth were still over the Earth but inside another bodies.. even myself.. so millions of years ago I had belonged to some place there.. that was confusing.  
  
Gandalf had also mentioned something about elves who had died of broken hearts.. did he say two of them? I couldn't remember.. but that was strange and I really wanted to discover what was inside those words. I wanted to know how could I stop that disaster, and, at the same time, I was wondering if it would be the correct decision considering that all my own world would change because of me and I would be responsible of everything.. but.. if I was sent there was because they expected it from me.. too much responsibility for a simple girl like me. And I couldn't tell what would happen if Middle Earth and the current Earth coexisted.. all our crazy world with wars, famous people and illnesses mixed with elves, dwarves and magicians? No, I couldn't imagine an elf going to the cinema or a dwarf fighting for the UN.. yes, Gimli saying "I'm sorry, Colin Powel, but I disagree with your decision.."  
  
I sat up and looked through the balcony's door. I wondered if Galadriel would accept meeting me in that moment, I couldn't wait more and I needed to get some advises. But, at the same time, I was too shy to wake her up and the whole palace too.. my only option was to wait until the morning and that would kill my nerves. Soon my head started working again.. but the thoughts were a bit different.. I had an internal confusion, as I used to call the mess inside me. What had happened since I left Mirkwood ? All my feelings had changed in a strange way.. I remembered the first day I ended up in Middle Earth.. when I had seen Legolas and I became even more crazy about him.. then, when I met Haldir in the halls and how I hated him in that moment.. the dance, the drinks.. I blushed remembering all the things I had said to both of them and I realised that I had acted stupidly. I acted like a stupid girl in a stupid party , instead of trying to do my best to adapt myself to that place and make good friends, real friends.. suddenly I was so sorry about everything I had done since I had arrived.. I wanted to change myself, and the opinion that most of them would have about me.  
  
I missed Gandalf and his advices. He was the only one who really understood my position and now he had left me alone.. he wanted me to take my own decisions, and that was scary and, at the same time, it made me feel good.. this meant that he trusted me and he knew I would follow the correct path. But if I wanted to choose one, I would need some help.. I couldn't take a decision based on nothing. And if Galadriel couldn't help me, then I would have a big problem. I didn't know where to go, what to do, I felt alone and lost. But something told me that things would go on in the way they should.  
  
A knock on my door. My heart started beating fast and I stepped outside the bed, walking slowly.  
  
"Yes?.." I asked, waiting for an answer, and the voice on the other side sounded so familiar to me.  
  
"Zana, it's me. I think we have to talk about.. well, we have to talk now" Haldir opened the door and looked inside. He smiled. "Please, can you walk with me?"  
  
"Where?" I asked, but he just gave me my shoes and a blanket to cover myself.  
  
"The night is cold" He explained, and took my arm , leading me to the halls.  
  
"What happened? You're scaring me.." He didn't reply and we walked outside, among the trees and the houses on them. A blue light filled everything and I couldn't help watching each and every detail in front of me. After some minutes in silence we reached an open place, under the moonlight, with a very big lake, completely different from Mirkwood ones. More magical, more.. I just couldn't describe it.  
  
"Sit with me, Zana " He said, firmly , and we both sat on the edge of the path, over the water. The grass was so comfortable, as if it was made with a special plant. But soon my attention moved to another place, because Haldir was staring at me, with a very serious gaze. I became nervous.  
  
"What a nice night.." I commented, without knowing what to say or what to do. His blue eyes still on me.  
  
"Stop with this, Zana" I looked at him, so confused. "All this time you've been hiding and now I won't allow you to go on like this. You're driving me crazy and.." He stopped, as if he needed to think for a while. I breathed, because for a moment I kept myself completely still, afraid of him. I managed to say some words.  
  
"What do you mean?" My voice was shaking, and when he looked at me again I felt so small.  
  
"I want to know, now, what is inside your head. I want to know what do you think about everything and, specially, about me"  
  
"What?" I blinked, and he turned a bit, facing me. Yes, he looked so decided that I felt even more scared. He wouldn't give up easily.  
  
"Zana.. I've been thinking during all the journey, thinking about myself and all the changes I've experienced. Since I met you I'm a different elf and I don't recognise myself" He took a deep breath. Some moments of silence. "You won't say anything?" He asked, half smiling.  
  
"I can't say anything because I don't understand what do you mean.." In some way I wished that he wasn't talking about what I thought he was talking about. He smiled now, moving his head.  
  
"See? You're hiding again. But I promised myself that after this night things would be different for both of us.. better or worse, I can't tell.. but at least I have to know, stop doubting, thinking or wondering.. I want clear things in order to go on with my normal life.. or at least, I want to be the Haldir I've always been."  
  
"What do you want to know..? " I asked in a whisper, so nervous I was.  
  
"You know" He said, convinced.  
  
"No, I don't , Haldir. I'm confused" I only wanted to escape, stand up and escape running. He took my hand, noticing that I was about to leave.  
  
"Don't move from here" His eyes fixed on my face. I was shocked and without capacity of reaction. If an orc would have appeared and sure I would have said hello to him instead of running away. "Remember the dance? "He asked, and I nodded, thinking of the past hour when I was so ashamed of my acts on that day. His hand still holding mine. "Remember when Legolas left us alone?" When I heard Legolas name I felt strange.. because I wanted to feel something about that name.. and nothing came. I only saw Haldir and that was irritating.  
  
"You want me to apologise again, right?" I said, trying to stand up, but he forced me to stay there.  
  
"No". A simple no from him. Stressing.. what the hell did he want from me?  
  
"Then.. what's wrong? Why did you bring me here? Why did you wake me up?" And he just smiled, and then stood up, lifting my hand and I followed him. We were so close, but this time I didn't feel uncomfortable. We were looking at each other in silence, as if we could stay like this forever. Maybe it was the place, the magic, the night or the moonlight.. maybe Galadriel put a spell on me, I didn't know.. but when Haldir put one of his arms around my waist I didn't move or say anything. His other hand on my neck.  
  
"Zana.. I want to test something and this time for real.." He smiled, and I remembered the last time I had heard those words and what had almost happened. But that time Gimli wasn't there to spoil anything.  
  
"I don't understand anything" I lied, blushing and feeling so nervous.  
  
"Yes, you do, because you're not stopping me" He whispered. He was right, but I just couldn't stop him.. why??  
  
"I'm stopping you.." But he laughed lightly, as if that was a joke.  
  
"You're impossible.. but.. you managed to catch one of the most important elvish hearts of Lorien" He said, and I really blushed deeply.. did I hear that? Was that real?  
  
"I didn't catch anything.. you're crazy, you know? What are you talking about?" But he didn't reply, he just came closer and kissed me. Yes, he was kissing me!! How come did I allow that? What was happening? His arms wrapped me and to my big surprise, I did the same. My body didn't obey my brain and that made me angry.. but I couldn't be angry too many time because I found myself kissing him back. I felt him so close and his lips on mines made me feel so different.. all the times I had thought I was in love with my boyfriend, I was wrong.. because never before I had felt like this. After what it seemed a century we stared at each other, in silence. And suddenly a thunder, a lightening, and a big noise.. like a storm coming.. we looked at the sky, surprised, because there weren't clouds above us.. and I heard a voice inside my head.. the voice of Gandalf..  
  
"Zana.. half of your mission is done.. go on, look for the second part.." But I didn't understand anything.. what did he mean with that? Why that thunder? But I felt Haldir's hand again on my face, he made me look at him and he kissed me once more, while he touched my cheek and then my neck. After some seconds his lips got separated from mines, and he smiled.  
  
"And now.. what?" I whispered. When he opened his mouth to go on speaking, my heart froze with the voice I heard instead of his.  
  
"Haldir, Zana.." We both turned around and met Legolas and Gimli. I almost fainted, unable to understand anything, I was so shocked, so so shocked.. what was Legolas doing there? Was he following us?  
  
"What does this mean?" I asked, now angry. "What are you both doing here? "  
  
"I followed you because I was worried about you" Legolas whispered, and there was pain in his eyes.. he looked shocked and upset, amazed and sad.. something inside me changed again and this time it was too strong to stay there. Confusion was too big and it hurt me. When I looked at Haldir I saw the same pain on his eyes.. he had just read my mind and I hated that.. I felt the tears in my eyes and I ran away before they came out.  
  
-------- ---------- ------------ ------------ --------- --------------  
------------  
  
Legolas looked at Haldir with cold eyes. Gimli was trying not to laugh, but soon he understood that the situation was too tense to make something stupid, and he opted for sitting and watching the stars, without any comment.  
  
"So finally you did it, Haldir" Legolas almost couldn't speak.  
  
"Legolas, don't talk to me as if I had done something bad.. you would have done the same, if I'm right, because you followed us since the day we left.. did you think you could play a trick on me? Come on, my friend.. I'm Haldir, not any common elf.. "Legolas got so angry with that comment and tried to control himself.  
  
"I followed you because I knew something would happen!" He pointed at him with his finger.  
  
"And what happened? That I like Zana? Is it a crime? I don't think so! " Haldir shouted, and Legolas took a deep breath. They heard Gimli singing, as if nothing happened, and somehow the tension disappeared. Legolas walked towards Haldir, he looked ashamed.  
  
"I'm sorry, Haldir.. I don't know what happened to me, I never had a reaction like this before.. I suppose it's too much for me because.. well, because I thought I felt something about her too.. but I realised now that my heart is empty and from now on, I'll stay away from her". Gimli laughed out loud, and Haldir didn't believe a word.  
  
"Sure! And I believe you!" The dwarf stood up and looked at the elves. "You both should be ashamed of yourselves. You both played with Zana's feelings and now she's confused. And now you're arguing and loosing your friendship.. come one, she's just a girl! "With those words Haldir became angry.  
  
"She's not just a girl, Gimli" Even Legolas was surprised with his reaction.  
  
"Haldir.. we should go to bed or we'll wake up the whole Lorien. And it would be too embarrassing for all of us.." Legolas whispered, feeling hurt and disappointed.. things had turned into something unexpected and complicated.. he wished Gandalf was there. The three friends left the lake, in silence. And Galadriel saw them from the place where she was watching everything.  
  
"This situation needs to be solved, Gandalf" She whispered, and the magician followed her.  
  
"Yes.. who could have expected that Legolas was following them? " He sighed. "It's the first time I see elves acting like humans.. "He shook his head while he started walking. They both went back home. 


	25. Divided heart

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana **************  
  
Another fast chapter! Thanks for the reviews! I'm making things too confused, right? : ) But I love it! : ) What can I say?.. I'm a complicated girl.. : )  
  
*************** ************ ************* ***************  
  
Hey, you can be so unfair  
  
And you know I will remember  
  
You said you'd always be there  
  
When you go  
  
Well I've been in love  
  
But nothing lasts forever  
  
So just hold on long enough  
  
And maybe you'll end up together  
  
It's alright, yeah, yeah, yeah  
  
You can lie to my face and I'll believe it  
  
It's OK, 'cause there's a feeling you can't replace  
  
You didn't mean it anyway  
  
I had a good time - Boston  
  
I ran inside the halls of the palace, hoping that I wouldn't find anybody on my way. I wanted to be alone and think about all what had happened, because I still couldn't believe that. Haldir had kissed me, yes.. but I had kissed him back.. and then, Legolas.. he had been following us, and all that time I had been thinking that he didn't care about me, I had been forgetting him and now, when my thoughts were more clear, he was there again.. it wasn't fair, and I was totally blocked.  
  
I opened the door of my room and found a paper on the ground.. that was familiar to me.. Gandalf.. yes, he had done this some time ago.. I smiled, with hope in my heart.. maybe he had come to help me. I picked it up and read.. his handwriting! My fingers were shaking, I was expecting something bad, and I didn't know why.  
  
"Dear Zana.. I've come here because Galadriel called me.. we both are so lost that we can't give advises to you.. yes, my friend.. this has reached a point of no return.. you found half of your destiny but you're forgetting about the most important part. And probably you're thinking what did you do to find it.. but I'm sure you know the answer.. tomorrow before breakfast, meet me in the gardens. We must talk, Zana.. we must talk"  
  
And that was everything? I was so confused.. and tired. I went to bed, trying to forget about everything and sleep in peace.. but some minutes passed and I was still awake, too many things inside my head, and too many things I wanted to talk about. I wanted to meet Haldir and ask him what was going to happen now.. I wanted to meet Legolas and ask him if it was true all what he had said that night in my balcony.. and most of all, I wanted to know what was inside my head.  
  
I had a stormy night, as I called it when I had nightmares.. my dreams were so strange that when I woke up I wished I had a paper and a pencil to write about them.. I was in the middle of nowhere, it was cold, very cold, and I was walking on ice, it was snowing and the wind was so strong that I couldn't see anything in the distance... I didn't know what was I doing there, but I knew I had to walk towards a big iceberg over the sea.. and a small boat waited for me.. it looked like the Antarctica, the sea was grey, the landscape white. I sat inside the boat and sailed away.. the waves led me to the big block of ice and I walked again. And then, the ice broke and I fell...  
  
I woke up sweating, breathing strongly.. the dream was so vivid, like a vision of the future.. I was so scared, shaking. And I needed some minutes to realise where I was.. the sun was already shining inside my room, and the blue light of the night turned into green.. Lorien was awake.. I checked my watch, it was time to meet Gandalf. But I took a bath first, and I tried to relax a bit. Maybe that dream meant something.. but the vision of myself in that hell wasn't the best thing to encourage me..  
  
After half an hour I walked to the place where I had been last night.. all the memories came to my head again and I couldn't help feeling ashamed.. I hoped that Haldir wasn't there too, and I was happy to see that the only person sitting there was an old man dressed in white. I smiled, so happy to see him again.  
  
"Good morning, Zana" He smiled too, and hugged me. "We meet again, after short time"  
  
"But it seemed it was a century" I said, sitting with him. "Gandalf, I need help and I need it now.. I can't explain you what happened yesterday but I'll just say that things are getting complicated.."  
  
"I know" Was his short answer. "I know that finally you opened your heart to Haldir.. but your heart also belongs to Legolas, and this is what I can't understand.. it's impossible to be divided like you are, and we must solve this or else you'll be confused following your own way"  
  
"And how can I make it clear?" Gandalf looked at me.  
  
"Listen to your heart" I sighed, shaking my head.  
  
"As if it was so simple.."  
  
"It's simple, girl" The magician looked angry. "What were you doing last night? Thinking about Legolas? "I detected some sarcasm in his voice. "Zana.. we both know that you already chose, so you must forget about the other part of your heart.. Legolas is not sure about you, he's confused and he will make a big mistake if you go on like this.. he should be in Mirkwood but he's here.."  
  
"Stop, stop,Gandalf" I said, impatiently. "Once you told me about two elves who died of broken hearts.. please, explain me this" Gandalf closed his eyes and smiled.  
  
"Zana.. you can't save everything.. you can't save each being here.. you were sent here to try to find the way of changing your world.. and changing a whole world implicates sacrificing.. some things.."  
  
"I don't like how this sounds, Gandalf.. I don't want to be responsible of the death of anybody.."  
  
"Zana.. nothing is decided yet.. now you must tell me if you had.. visions.." He looked so interested at that point. And I remembered my dream.  
  
"Well.. I had a dream last night.. it was so.. strange.. "I told him about it, and he was nodding from time to time. When I finished, we were in silence for some minutes.  
  
"Zana.." He finally spoke. "In your world you have religions, beliefs , ideals.. "I nodded with curiosity. "Zana.. maybe all the base of your world would change if you reached the end of this mission."  
  
"What do you mean?" I was completely lost, but something told me that maybe his answer wouldn't be the one I wanted or liked.  
  
"Your world is divided.. science and religion.. yes, I can see it.." Gandalf spoke very slowly. "There's a strong and big religion, with a book that explains the origin of humans, the story about a man who died for all of them.."  
  
"I hope you won't start talking about god, angels and so on, Gandalf" I said, wondering if he was becoming crazy. But he didn't pay attention to me.  
  
"And the science says that everything started with a big explosion called Big Bang.." He was moving his head, as if he was understanding everything. "Zana.." His voice changed and I felt scared. "What if I told you that maybe you will find out the whole truth about your origins? And what if after this discovery, the base of your world changed, your religions and your traditions, all your culture based on this? "  
  
"It would be a destruction.. all the most important civilizations would disappear, and all the art based on my religion would be lost too! Gandalf, I can't go on if what you say is true!" I was really scared, I wouldn't be the one who changed that, I didn't want to be.  
  
"You were sent here for this, Zana. You must find out the truth and, then.. decide"  
  
"Decide? About what?" I didn't realise I was shouting too much.  
  
"You must decide if you want to bring those news to your world, you must decide if you want our two worlds to be together"  
  
"I can't do that, are you crazy?" I was out of control.  
  
"Take your time, Zana" He stood up, and walked back to the palace. I stayed there for a while, thinking.. I felt dizzy.. I covered my face with my hands, trying to make a clear image of everything.. but it was impossible.  
  
"Zana" I heard a voice behind me, and I turned around to meet Haldir. He walked towards me.  
  
"Hello.." I whispered, blushing, when I remembered about last night.  
  
"What are you doing here? I saw Gandalf this morning, I couldn't believe he was in Lorien.. and now I went to your room but you weren't there.." He kneeled beside me, looking at me.  
  
"I came here to think for a while.." He took my hand, and I didn't move.  
  
"We must talk again.." He said, and I nodded. "I saw your face when Legolas appeared last night.. and I think that there was something in your eyes that.. well.. I don't know how to explain it" His eyes were sad, and I felt something new inside me, something that encouraged me..  
  
"Haldir.. if I remember well.. it wasn't Legolas the one I was kissing last night.." I couldn't believe I had said that, and he looked so surprised too, because he stared at me, he didn't move or say anything "And if I'm not mistaken, the one who is here with me holding my hand is not Legolas.." He went on staring at me, and then he stood up.  
  
"Breakfast is waiting for us.. "He murmured, confused.. or surprised, I couldn't tell. "And also Legolas is there.. "He looked at me, and I stood up too. "Zana, talk to Legolas and make your feelings more clear"  
  
"I don't need to talk to anybody, Haldir.. because now half of my mission is done" He looked at me in surprise, and walked two steps towards me.  
  
"What do you mean?" He whispered.  
  
"Last night.. I heard Gandalf's voice telling me so.. and this morning I talked to him and.. well.. I only have to solve the final part."  
  
"I don't understand anything.. when did you solve the first part of the mission? "He looked so confused and I couldn't help smiling.  
  
"You're telling me that Haldir of Lorien can't remember anything of last night? "I joked, and he smiled.  
  
"I remember each and every detail" His voice sounded so sweet and I blushed.  
  
"Well.. then you should understand when did I solve the first part.." I said, with mystery in my voice, and I left, walking back. And I heard his voice again, close to me.  
  
"Then now I'm part of your mission and of your life.." I turned around and met his gaze. A completely different gaze.  
  
"It seems so.." I whispered. We looked at each other for a while, and then we heard Gimli's voice.  
  
"I'm hungry! Can't you understand this, elf? Where is the dining room or dinning tree or whatever you have here?" He walked in front of us, and smiled. "Hey, my friends! Nice morning, right? Haldir!" He took his arm. "Lead me to the big dining room full of food!" I noticed that Legolas was standing there, watching at us with a sad face. Haldir and Gimli started to walk in front of us, and Haldir gave me a worried look. I was walking alone with Legolas, after all..  
  
"Zana" He said "I'm sorry about last night, I really didn't want to say those things.."  
  
"Don't worry, Legolas.. the truth is that I was so confused when I saw you there, and.. well, I can't explain" He took my arm and made me stop walking.  
  
"Wait some minutes, please, I need to talk to you" I felt uncomfortable, and I felt something more too.. something I didn't want to feel but that was there.. being alone with Legolas made me feel different, and I didn't like that. "I know you're confused because I can notice it.. and I was only wondering what would have happened if it was me and not Haldir the one who had travelled with you.." His voice was a whisper.  
  
"Nobody can tell, I suppose.. "I said, unable to comment anything else. He took my hand.  
  
"Look at me, Zana.." I did so, and I felt small under his gaze. "Can you tell me here, right now, that you don't feel anything, absolutely anything for me?"  
  
"You both want to drive me crazy, right? "I said, angry. But he didn't move.  
  
"Just reply me, please"  
  
"Half of my mission is done, Legolas. Gandalf told me so.. so now I'll ask you to leave me alone and don't press me more.. I've always liked you, this is what you wanted to hear? "Legolas looked at me in surprise, and came closer to me, but I made him stop. "No, Legolas.. now listen to me.. you were acting in a way I didn't like.. you were ignoring me and you didn't fight for anything.. Haldir showed me that he's more worth than you because at least he was more interested on me.."  
  
"What?" He shouted, so angry. "Zana, I've been following you since you left Mirkwood! I've defended you when Haldir treated you.. like he treated you at first.. so don't say that I didn't worry about you because you know it's not true!" His blue eyes were cold and he left my hand. I felt tears in my eyes again.  
  
"Legolas, please.. don't make this more difficult.. I've already taken a decision. Please, go back to Mirkwood and forget about me" I started to walk but he took my arm and made me stop.  
  
"I'll never give up, Zana. Don't forget this. Haldir is stronger than you and he made you change your mind.. but this is not what you really feel, I'm sure" He said, with strong voice.. he looked so convinced that he made me doubt for a second. But then I became angry.  
  
"Legolas, let me go. "He left my arm and I ran towards Gimli and Haldir. We went to the dining room, and we had breakfast. Legolas didn't show up, and Haldir looked sad and worried. Fortunately Gimli made our morning more comfortable. 


	26. Deliver me

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana**************  
  
And this is the last chapter before next weekend.. today I go back to university again.. so I hope you all will like it! And don't worry, I won't talk about religion or anything similar, as some of you thought : ) You'll see how things make sense sooner or later : )  
  
Thank you very much for everything! By the way,Namarie2legolas, I tried to send you an email but it was sent back, your address doesn't work..  
  
See you next weekend!  
  
************* ************* ************** ************** *********  
  
Deliver me, out of my sadness.  
  
Deliver me, from all of the madness.  
  
Deliver me, courage to guide me.  
  
Deliver me, strength from inside me.  
  
All of my life I've been in hiding.  
  
Wishing there was someone just like you.  
  
Now that you're here, now that I've found you,  
  
I know that you're the one to pull me through.  
  
Deliver me - Sara Brightman  
  
Galadriel sat in front of me, looking around herself with her blue eyes. The rest of elves followed her, and then, I sat down. The meeting would be short, or this she said.. it seemed that she had discovered something and now she wanted me to leave at once. I was really scared, thinking about my possible future..  
  
"Zana.." She spoke. "I had a vision, the one you had in your dreams.. and I already know the destiny of your journey" She stared at me for a while, and all elves did the same. Haldir frowned, and was about to speak when Galadriel gave him a warning look. "Tomorrow you will leave, Zana" I covered my face with my hands.. she said I would leave.. but.. alone?  
  
"What about us? "Legolas asked, inpatient, standing up. "I won't allow her to go alone"  
  
"Legolas.. sit down and wait.. "She looked at him, as if she was disappointed. "You're not acting like an elf, and you're a prince" But Legolas didn't look ashamed, quite the opposite.  
  
"Galadriel, you can't let her go alone!" He was shouting, and all elves stared at him in surprise, also Gimli, who couldn't believe his friend's reaction.  
  
"I said that the meeting is not over yet, so sit down" Galadriel looked angry and I got scared. Legolas sat down and took a deep breath. "As I was saying, Zana will leave tomorrow. Gandalf and I agreed that she will travel to the place from her dreams.. the Land of the Eternal Ice. " Gandalf came inside the room , apologising for being late.  
  
"Something kept me in my room, Galadriel.. I'm sorry for the delay, but I was thinking about Zana.." He looked at me, with sad face. "She has to solve some things before leaving, or else she won't be able to take the right decision"  
  
"We can't loose more time, Gandalf. And you know it.." She said, and the magician nodded.  
  
"I know.." He whispered, and the sound of his voice increased all my doubts.. he looked scared.  
  
"And now, we'll decide who will join her tomorrow, because not all of you must go" Galadriel gave a look around the table, and I saw Haldir tense. After some eternal minutes, she sighed. "Haldir.. I trust you more than any other elf in Lorien.. I know you will take reasonable decisions and that you won't allow your heart deciding for you.." Haldir nodded, and then looked at me. "So.. Haldir, you'll join her".  
  
"And this is everything? What about me?!" Legolas shouted, but Galadriel's face turned into an angry face.  
  
"It's the last time I warn you, Legolas.. shut up and let me speak!" She walked around us, thinking. She stopped in front of Gandalf, and they exchanged some looks. "Legolas.." She spoke, without looking at the elf. "You must go too, but the dwarf will be there.. he's the only one with neutral heart.. once we trusted him, and we'll do it again" Legolas smiled, but Gimli made a strange noise.  
  
"What? To the Land of Eternal Ice? A dwarf can't go there!" He made a comical face, like a small child complaining, but when Galadriel looked at him, he calmed down. Galadriel went on speaking.  
  
"But.. you all won't be alone in this journey.. someone else will join you sooner or later.." She looked in the distance, smiling.  
  
"Who?" Haldir and I asked at the same time, and Galadriel smiled again with mystery.  
  
"Zana.. you opened the door that joined our two worlds.. and you weren't alone when you did it.."  
  
"What do you mean? But I can't remember the exact moment I came here!" I was shocked, unable to think about anything.  
  
"You came here from the less expected place.. someone was following you at that moment.. someone special for you.."  
  
"But this is impossible.. my boyfriend lives in another country, I wasn't with him the last week.." I said, completely lost. And I heard someone saying "Which boyfriend?", but in that moment I wasn't in the mood to explain anything.  
  
"Who talked about a boyfriend, Zana?" Galadriel looked at me, always with that smile. "I've said someone special.. someone who took care of you, although you didn't realise.. someone who helped you twice, who made two big favours to you, and you never knew about them.." I was laughing because of nerves.  
  
"No, this is impossible.. last week I was in classes, I was leaving my classroom and.." I started to remember.. I was in the faculty, classes were over.. and then I went upstairs, and.. everything disappeared.. "Oh.. now I know.. I'm starting to remember the moment!!" I shouted, standing up.  
  
"This is not important now, Zana.. the important thing is who was following you.. but you don't know it, right? "I shook my head, I couldn't think of anybody who cared so much about me inside faculty.. in fact, students were almost like numbers for professors.. and they were competitive between them.. "Don't worry, Zana.. he will appear soon"  
  
"He?" Now I was lost, definitely. My best friends there were girls. But Galadriel stopped looking at me and returned to her place.  
  
"So this is over. The decision has been taken. Gandalf and I will be with you in a spiritual way.. and we wish you the best, dear girl "All elves stood up and left, and Gandalf came to talk to me.  
  
"Good luck, Zana.. I hope to see you.. somewhere" He smiled mysteriously.  
  
"Don't leave me like this!" I shouted, I wanted more explanations. But both Gandalf and Galadriel left me alone with Haldir, Legolas and Gimli. We all looked at each others.  
  
"Argh!!" Gimli was shouting and jumping. "This can't be true!! Me and two crazy elves, and the girl who makes them crazy!! Why?? Why??" His face was red, and he was breathing strongly.  
  
"Calm down, Gimli, this is serious, don't be stupid" Haldir gave him a cold look.  
  
"No, you both will be behaving like humans and you both will be fighting for the girl, I already can see it!"  
  
"Stop saying nonsense, dwarf" Legolas became angry, and then looked at us. "We have something important to do, right? Now it's time to forget about heart, because many things depend on her"  
  
"I agree" Haldir said, and then he walked towards the door. "And now, please, I want to talk to Zana" Legolas gave him a freezing look, but left with Gimli. Haldir closed the door and went back to my place.  
  
"Well.. it seems Galadriel trusts you a lot." I commented, because I didn't know what to say. But he didn't reply, he was looking for something in one of his pockets. Then, he made a face and looked at me.  
  
"I want to say that I'm very happy to go there with you, Zana" He took my hand, and I blushed, like it always happened to me, yes.. "And the thing I don't understand is why Legolas and Gimli will go to.. but I respect Galadriel's will "He walked towards a window and I followed him. "Can I ask you something?" He suddenly spoke.  
  
"Of course" I replied, although I wasn't too sure.. he looked at me.  
  
"Maybe I'm getting too involved on this.. but I really can't stop my feelings.. I wanted to know if you also feel the same.. or , at least, if you feel something.."  
  
"We already talked about this, Haldir.." I said, but he shook his head.  
  
"You never said it clear, and I need to know, Zana" His blue eyes fixed on mines.  
  
"I can say that I feel something about you, yes.."  
  
"But?" He was expecting my answer and I felt nervous.  
  
"I don't know if it's the same you feel about me, I only know that when I'm with you I feel.. different.. and I like this feeling" He smiled.  
  
"I understand.. anyway, you still have to make some things clear.. about Legolas.." I blushed when he said this again. He knew me better than I thought.  
  
"Haldir, don't start again with this, please.." He took my hand again and then looked for something.. after some seconds, he showed me a small ring, with a kind of dark blue stone with the shape of a flower on it.. I got really scared. "No, Haldir, this is going too fast and.."  
  
"Don't speak , and let me explain.. I know what does this mean for humans, but don't worry.. for elves the meaning is different.. this is a ring that belonged to my family since always.. it's a special ring because wherever you will go, I'll be with you.. not in person, but spiritually.. and I want you to keep it" He put it in my finger.  
  
"I can't accept it, Haldir.." I murmured, but he smiled.  
  
"Of course you can, and you must. " He looked at me and came closer. I remembered Legolas words.. Haldir was stronger than me.. in some way it was true.. he always managed to make me confused or undecided.. when I was with him, I felt smaller.. but it also happened with Legolas.. I was really confused.. but I couldn't think too much, because in that moment he kissed me again and all my doubts disappeared, I just saw him there, standing in front of me, and when his arms wrapped me and I did the same, I was more sure than ever that.. maybe.. I was starting to love him.  
  
---------- ------------- ------------- ------------- ----------------- ----------------  
  
Legolas walked towards Galadriel's room. He knocked on her door, and when she opened, she shook her head.  
  
"What's wrong, Legolas? Why can't you control your emotions?"  
  
"I want to talk to you, if it's possible" She let him pass , and he sat down on a chair. She walked to the window, and watched the landscape. "Galadriel.. I don't agree with your decision of sending Haldir with her" She looked at him in surprise.  
  
"Why? Which would be, then, the correct decision if you could take it?" She asked with sarcasm. Legolas frowned.  
  
"Haldir loves her, he's not objective taking decisions.. the mission is too risky and important to spoil it because of a romance" Galadriel laughed at those words.  
  
"And if Haldir didn't go, you would take his place, Legolas.. because you also love her.. and even more.. there's anger in your heart and this is a real danger for the mission" Legolas was afraid that she would change her mind. "But I decided to send you anyway, although I shouldn't.. and do you know why?.. Because I think that there must be a chance for everybody, a chance to prove how wonderful each person is.. or elf.. and I trust you, Legolas.. I'm sure you won't do anything stupid and that when the moment will come.. your heart will be loyal and strong"  
  
"Of course ,Galadriel..." Legolas whispered, looking at the ground, thinking. "What about this person from Zana's world? Who is he?" Galadriel smiled, and sighed.  
  
"I'm afraid that Zana wasn't too aware about what she had on Earth.. she was an absent minded girl, too focused on her studies.. and she never paid attention to people, she was too shy, too unsecured, too.. human.. her self- esteem was so low that she didn't realise that someone from her place considered her better than she thought.. and this person helped her indeed.. but always from a hidden place.. because he was also shy and, his position in that place was.. higher than a student.. and mixing both worlds would have brought consequences for both of them.. this is why he always kept himself hidden.. although he was so young too, almost like her.."  
  
"But what kind of person was him there? Why he couldn't talk to her, or show kindness directly? "Legolas was so surprised that good actions couldn't be shown sometimes on Earth. Galadriel smiled again.  
  
"He was a young professor , Legolas.. although maybe you don't understand what does this mean, believe me that on Earth it would have been complicated for both of them.." Legolas was so confused, and curious.. and suddenly he felt bad.. maybe that human sent to Middle Earth would change the way of things, and Galadriel knew it..  
  
"Galadriel.. what can I do to help Zana? "Galadriel looked at him in surprise.  
  
"I'm glad that you forgot about your own feelings and that you're generous again .. and the best thing you can do to help her is simple.. don't press her any more.. be her friend and, when she will have to decide, she will make the correct choice, believe me.. but I can't tell more.. be a brother for her.. it's the best advice I can give you. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to think, and be alone for a while. Good luck, Legolas"  
  
Legolas left the room and walked under the trees.. he felt a bit better.. Galadriel knew something about future that allowed him to keep a bit of hope. Unexpected things would happen, and whoever he was, that "professor" could change everything.. he smiled and walked through the wood. The fresh air brought hope indeed. 


	27. Walking to nowhere

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana*****************  
  
Thank you so so much for all your reviews! After this chapter I'll write one just to comment a bit what you're writing, because I see new people are reading my story and this is great! : ) I had my doubts about putting a new character, unknown for all of you.. but when I'll finish this story I'll confess some secrets from my life , and you'll understand perfectly why all things looked always so confusing : ) But not yet.. : )  
  
****************************** **************** ************  
  
Cold cold heart  
  
Hard done by you  
  
Some things look better baby  
  
Just passing through  
  
And it's no sacrifice  
  
Just a simple word  
  
It's two hearts living  
  
In two separate worlds  
  
But it's no sacrifice  
  
No sacrifice  
  
It's no sacrifice at all  
  
- Sacrifice – Elton John  
  
Galadriel looked at me and smiled. It was early in the morning, we all were ready to leave.. and time had passed so fast because they gave me a strange substance to make me sleep, against my will, of course, but she said that I wouldn't resist the first day of journey unless I slept more than the usual hours.. probably she already knew about my night walks and strange meetings, and I never thought that a cup of boiled flowers could make that effect on me, because I had been sleeping for the whole day, and now I was sorry for missing all the beautiful places in Lorien.. I didn't know if one day I would come back there.. I didn't know if I would ever come back somewhere..  
  
"Don't let the sad thoughts invade your heart, Zana" Galadriel noticed that I wasn't in my best mood in that moment.  
  
"I was just wondering when will I have the chance to visit Lorien again.." I looked around me, Haldir and Legolas were walking towards us, and Gimli was sleeping next to me, sitting on the grass.. that dwarf was really funny to watch at.  
  
"No one can tell, and this is the nice thing of life.. every day brings a new surprise, good or bad, and we learn about facing problems and solving them. You have a powerful spirit, but you don't know how to make good use of it... you still have to learn lots of things from this journey, Zana.. and I'm afraid that the end is not as close as you would like it to be.. be patient and time will tell everything.. I promise you that when the time will come, there won't be any confusion in your mind" She smiled and I felt better after her words. Then , she turned around to meet Haldir and Legolas. "I trust them and you should too, Zana" She whispered, and I blushed a bit.  
  
"We are ready to leave" Haldir looked at me and then came closer. "I'm glad to know that you were sleeping all this time, you really needed it" His smile wasn't his usual calming smile, and something was worrying him. But before I could ask, Legolas also greeted me.  
  
"This journey won't be easy and I'm afraid that in some stages you will need extra help.. this makes me a bit worried" He looked at Galadriel, and she shook her head.  
  
"No danger will threat Zana as long as you both keep your mind free of human feelings in the moments when she will need you" Her gaze was serious, and that made the moment a bit embarrassing.  
  
"Can I ask something..? "They all looked at me after I spoke, and Galadriel nodded. "Well.." I went on. "I would like to know how will the journey be.. I mean, where will we walk, where will we.. well, everything, I want to know everything!" I was so nervous in that moment, and the faces they all showed made me feel even worse. "What's wrong?" Nobody replied for a while.  
  
"Zana.. you have to reach the Land of Eternal Ice, and this is not easy.. it's far away from here, and half of the way will be made by ship, sailing on the sea.." I became pale, starting to know what kind of journey was waiting for me. "And once in the Land of Eternal Ice, you will have to .. wait.. and see" She spoke slowly, staring at me, with a confusing expression on her face.  
  
"There are things that is better not to know, right? "I tried to smile, but I wasn't able. Suddenly, Legolas took my hand.  
  
"Nothing bad will happen to you, don't fear anything" He smiled, and Haldir looked at us, a strange look on his eyes.  
  
"We must go. Gimli, wake up" Haldir reacted and walked towards the dwarf, and Legolas left my hand, but went on looking at me with that smile. Something inside me changed again, and that was driving me crazy. "Zana" Haldir called me, and I woke up from that absent minded moment. "Are you OK?" I nodded, blushing deeply.  
  
"Good luck, Zana. Whatever will happen, never have doubts, life has surprising twists and who knows what will be waiting for you tomorrow" Galadriel gave me her hand and she smiled. Before turning around and leaving towards the forest, she gave a look to the elves, who nodded.  
  
We were standing by the path, waiting.. all directions looked similar, but we were supposed to take the southern ones.. I was curious about that because, after all, I expected the north to be the place for the Land of Eternal Ice. But it seemed that Middle Earth had something similar to my world.. a kind of new Antarctica. And when I remembered this part of the world, I got scared.  
  
"The way to South is easier if we cross through the Rivers.." Legolas showed the map to Haldir, and he nodded.  
  
"Rivers?" I asked , curious.. I also checked the map and Haldir pointed at it.  
  
"Here.. it's the green part of Middle Earth.. I've never been there, but I heard that rivers join paths, and paths join rivers.. it's all green and pure.. but there's one problem about it.. I'm afraid we'll have to cross waters many times.." I looked at him, and what I saw scared me. Haldir was so pale, more than usual, and he didn't look too confident, which was so strange on him. And Legolas was the opposite.. optimistic, strong and sure about everything.. I couldn't help feeling better with him.  
  
"There won't be any problem with crossing waters, Haldir. Not for her, at least.." Legolas looked at Gimli, and the dwarf frowned.  
  
"What do you mean?" His voice was sharp. I knew he would get angry with that remark, and I couldn't help smiling.  
  
"Come on, Gimli.. you can't swim, and you know it.. you're too short and water will cover all your body" Legolas was also smiling.  
  
"Argh! You'll be sorry for your words, elf!" His face was so red, and then he looked at me. "Zana, don't pay attention to him. Dwarves are very good at swimming and climbing, and crossing mountains, as you probably already know" He took a deep breath, proudly.  
  
"Of course" My voice sounded too sarcastic, and Legolas laughed out loud. I noticed that Haldir was staring in the distance, thinking. I joined him and put my hand on his arm. But he didn't look at me.  
  
"Haldir.. why this sudden change? What's wrong?" He turned his head and I saw his blue eyes with a sad expression.  
  
"I can't tell you now, Zana.. please, let me think about this.. Galadriel trusts me a lot, and this also has bad consequences.. one of them, she showed me some things I preferred not to know.. and I can't understand why did she do that.. I can't understand it" I was shocked, and now I became nervous.  
  
"Please, you must tell me! You can't leave me like this!" But he took my hand and tried to smile.  
  
"You know I won't ever tell you, but the truth is that I can't lie to you and you must know that there's something that troubles me.. I had to tell you this because else you would think that I'm angry, or upset, which is not the case.. so please, now that you know that I have a horrible secret, respect Galadriel's will and don't ask any more".  
  
"How do you want me to do that?" I was shouting, and both Legolas and Gimli looked at us. "How can I go on walking and ignoring this? I want to help you and you must tell me!"  
  
"What happened? "Legolas approached us, with a worried face. Haldir took his bag and ignored him.  
  
"We have to leave, or else we won't ever arrive"  
  
"What the hell..?" I began to say, and Legolas looked at me.  
  
"Zana.. what's wrong? What happened to him?" His blue eyes on mines again, and Haldir walking a bit far away.. a bad combination , to my surprise. I looked at the sky, sighing.  
  
"I'm afraid that Galadriel gave him an uncomfortable duty, and he won't ever tell us.." Legolas stared at me, surprised. But I started to walk, and Gimli followed me. Also Legolas, after standing alone for a while. The journey was going to be difficult indeed.  
  
---------- ------------ ------------- ------------- ---------------- -- ----------------  
  
Some moments before, Haldir left his home and walked towards the entry of Lorien. He saw a known elf, and in some seconds, he was looking at Galadriel.. he noticed that she was about to say something important to him, because her voice sounded inside his head.  
  
"Haldir, my loyal friend.. bad times are coming and you must know it.." He frowned, and looked at her again. "Walk with me before meeting Zana"  
  
They both went to a separated place near from the lake, where she asked him to sit down and listen carefully. He didn't like the tone of her voice, a warning and dangerous tone. He knew that something bad was about to come. And he was right about that. His blue eyes stared at her and she began to speak.  
  
"This will be a long journey, and you all will need all your forces and energy.. not only physical, but also spiritual.. this is not a story with a happy end for some of you, Haldir"  
  
"What do you mean?" He almost shouted, afraid that something would happen to Zana.  
  
"It's not the human girl the only one who worries me.. humans are unpredictable, and this is all what I can say about her. She's good and kind.. but things are getting more and more complicated for her.. and she doesn't have the strength of elves.. "She made a pause, and walked towards the water.  
  
"Then, please, tell me what's wrong, Galadriel" Haldir stood up and walked near from her. She turned around.  
  
"For the future of both worlds, some , or one of you, must die. For the future of habitants of Earth , the secret must be kept. Both worlds shouldn't be joined, this would mean a big mess.. I want to tell you something, and I'm afraid that for the first time in our lives, Gandalf and I were wrong.. Zana was sent here for unknown reasons, although at first we were sure about them.. now I can say that everything has changed. She wasn't sent here to join worlds.. she was sent here to test one of you, to check if your heart is really as honourable as we all thought.. but on her way she will find a big dilemma, and this is the dangerous thing.. Gandalf saw it and now I see it too.. all depends on her, and unfortunately, I don't trust humans too much. I don't know if she will take the right decision, I can't know if she will sacrifice .. something.. or someone.. if the discovery she will make will be a too big lack, a too big charge for her, something that won't allow Zana to have a normal life.. maybe it will be too much for a human.." Galadriel's eyes became darker, and she looked at the sky. "Haldir.. you must stop her when the moment will come.."  
  
"But when will this moment come?" He was out of control, shocked. Galadriel and Gandalf had made a mistake , their premonitions had been wrong and now things had to change. The mission included now Haldir as an important part of it.  
  
"You will know it.. and you must do all possible things to avoid it.. and I mean all possible things, Haldir.." He understood the importance of her words and he covered his face with his hands, and then sighed.  
  
"Are you telling me that if I don't stop her, if I don't solve this, both worlds could be in danger?"  
  
"Not both worlds.. her world" She said, with mystery on her voice.  
  
"So now it's me the one who has to save it?" He almost shouted.  
  
"Maybe yes, maybe not.. but the truth is that most of things depend on you, and this is why I chose you.. good luck, my dear friend.. good luck"  
  
She left, to meet Zana, and Haldir saw Legolas in the distance. He walked towards him, incapable of thinking about anything, unable to react after what had been told him. When they met, and after the good morning greetings, they took their bags and got ready for the journey. 


	28. Falling in the green light

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana *******************  
  
Thank you for all your reviews!! It's nice to see that people who liked my story at first still like it! Well, maybe this will be the last chapter of the weekend, or maybe not.. it depends on the time I'll have.. classes began to be hard and I must work.. what kind of lawyer would I be if I spent all my life writing and not studying? Although if I had to choose, the choice is obvious : ) Thank you all!  
  
************ ************ ************ **************  
  
Cuz I'm  
  
trying to explain  
  
something's wrong  
  
You just don't sound the same  
  
Why don't you  
  
Go outside  
  
Kiss the rain  
  
Whenever you need me  
  
Kiss the rain  
  
Whenever I'm gone too long  
  
If your lips feel lonely and thirsty  
  
Kiss the rain  
  
Kiss the rain – Billie Myers  
  
The morning was grey, as if all the clouds of Middle Earth were flying above us. The first part of journey was boring, we had to cross the big woods where Lorien ended and the path was too narrow and complicated. The roots from trees made some stages almost impossible, and from time to time, I had to help Gimli, or Legolas and Haldir had to help me. Yes, I already admitted that I'm not in my best shape and that I'm not a sporty person exactly.  
  
A sudden cold wind made me freeze.. and think. Because if that place was cold, I didn't want to imagine how the Land of Eternal Ice would be.. we carried special clothes for it, but I was sure it wouldn't be enough.. the place where I came from was cold and wet, but nothing could be compared to Antarctica or the double it had on that world. I looked at the sky, and then around me.. the forest was silent, no birds, no animals.. and the trees moved with the air, they sounded like a whistle. Legolas was also watching at them, and then, he looked at me.  
  
"What's wrong, Zana?" He asked, walking closer to me. I shrugged.  
  
"I was just thinking about weather and vegetation" Legolas smiled.  
  
"Strange thoughts in those circumstances.." Commented, and then went on walking in silence. At some point the path became too complicated and we had to stop. A huge tree with the huge roots, and Gimli trying to climb them. The problem was the humidity, it was too slippery and complicated to jump. Haldir checked both sides of path, and he didn't find more options. He turned around to face us.  
  
"It's not too risky, just be careful.. Gimli, I'll help you first" He gave his hand to the dwarf, who was complaining.  
  
"This is humiliating, I'm Gimli, a powerful dwarf, able to skip all obstacles from this world" He managed to pass with difficulties, and once in the other side, he looked at us proudly. Legolas climbed slowly, looking back to encourage me.  
  
"Come, Zana. We won't let you hurt yourself, is not that complicated. "I looked at Haldir, who was behind me.  
  
"Come on, it's not that difficult" He smiled, arrogantly, or at least he tried to be arrogant, because I knew that deep inside, he wasn't the same Haldir I had known some days ago. I obeyed and put my hands on the first root.. they were higher than me, stronger than the trunk of any other tree. Then , I put my feet in the same place, moving my hands to reach the next root. Legolas was already in the other side, looking at me. Haldir climbing behind me. And I went on like this, and when I had almost reached the other side, I heard a big crash, and I felt the whole tree falling with me..  
  
Maybe that was the end.. maybe I was going to die, and I didn't say goodbye to them.. everything happened like a dream.. I felt falling all time, roots and leafs over me.. and the end never came.. it was dark, the smell of earth and nature, and I closed my eyes, waiting for the big crash.. and what happened then was completely unexpected. The cold water beated me as if it was ice, and I went under, trying not to open my mouth, my ears were about to explode, and after what it seemed a century, I reacted, and reached the surface, breathing strongly. The view was charming.. I had fallen in a cave.. but the strangest thing was the light inside it.. yellow, green and blue, as if it was full of lamps.. a small green lake, where I had fallen, and all around me were rocks. I swam to reach the edge and then climbed. I didn't feel scared until some minutes passed, the time I needed to check that wonderful cavern.  
  
But I was alone.. completely alone. My heart started to beat so fast. I looked up and saw a small hole in the distance.. too high to distinguish anything.. and I shouted, asking for help. My voice sounded everywhere and I felt a vibration under my feet.. I had made something stupid because maybe the rocks were going to fall over me.. I kept my breath for a while, but couldn't help shouting again when I heard a voice behind me.  
  
"Zana, don't shout, are you crazy?" I turned around and saw Legolas, scared.  
  
"Legolas! "I stood up, and walked towards him. And almost hugged him.. ""What are you doing here? How come did you fall with me? You already had crossed!" I was shaking because of wet clothes, and I realised he also had fallen in the water. I was so happy to see him that I was about to loose control.  
  
"I saw you falling and couldn't help jumping with you.." We stared at each other for a while, and my head started to think again.. he had jumped to help me.. he, and not Haldir.. that made me feel sad and, at the same time, happy.. he had risked his life without thinking and now he was there with me.. his blue eyes looking at me, with a worried expression. He put his hand over my shoulder . "Are you OK? "I reacted, blinking, and nodded. I was trying to understand what had happened and everything led me to the same conclusion.. I could count on Legolas for everything.. only on Legolas..  
  
"Thank you" I said, and he smiled. Then he looked around and sighed.  
  
"It seems that the forest pushed us here.. this is the place where the land called Rivers begin.. " He walked towards the lake and looked inside.. the green light on his face made him look so magical, and I couldn't help staring all time. His eyes caught my gaze, and I blushed. "This means we must follow this water.. look" He pointed at a corner. "A small river is growing up there.. it goes parallel to the path of rock.. and it will end up in the surface" He looked at me again.  
  
"I hope that Haldir and Gimli will go on and won't wait for us here.." I didn't hear any noises form the outside, so deep was that place.  
  
"Haldir knows what to do.. we'll meet them in two days in the surface"  
  
"Two days?" I almost shouted, and Legolas took my arm gently.  
  
"Don't worry, it's only a path.. nothing bad will happen here and in short time we'll be outside.. because you trust me, right? "He smiled, and I smiled back, nodding. But I knew how did elves feel about closed places like caverns.. I knew it wouldn't be easy for him neither, and his eyes were darker now.. like when he was thinking about something with concentration.  
  
"OK, so lets go.. although my bag is completely wet and I don't have any dry clothes, all food is spoiled and.." He passed me my bag and I looked at him with interrogative gaze.  
  
"You didn't check the inside, right?" Legolas was smiling again.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused. I took my bag and opened it.. although the outside was completely wet, the inside was dry.. "This is amazing, I didn't know that elves knew about waterproof materials"  
  
"Waterproof?" Legolas seemed not to understand, but I shrugged.  
  
"Forget it.. it's nice to see Earth technologies here" Now he looked disappointed.  
  
"So you already knew about this kind of magic?"  
  
"It's not magic at all, and of course we have many waterproof objects" I couldn't help smiling at his strange look.  
  
"Oh.." He also took his bag and picked up some dry clothes. "You must change before you'll get a cold.." He looked at me, and I blushed a bit.. because there weren't too many hidden places inside that cave.  
  
"Well.. but where can I .. change? " He looked behind and then walked some steps.  
  
"I'll change in this corridor, I'll be back in some moments" He gave me a last look before disappearing. And he left me alone with my thoughts again.  
  
I picked up new dry clothes and also a towel.. it wasn't too cold inside that cave.. in fact, it was warmer than the outside, with that wind and cloudy sky. I wrapped myself with the towel and once I was dried, I put the underwear ( how I missed my nice bras..) and then the trousers and the warm elvish sweater. I left the wet clothes on the ground, wondering if I should carry them or not.. I hear Legolas coming.  
  
"It's better to leave spoiled clothes here.. we don't need them and they won't get dry soon.." He commented, walking and checking me from my feet to the top of my head.  
  
"What?" I asked, blushing.. and he walked a bit closer.  
  
"You look like an elf- boy" He smiled.  
  
"Oh, thank you very much!" I replied with sarcasm. "It's so nice to hear that I won't be in danger locked in a cave with you " Was I talking with irony? Yes, maybe Haldir was making a bigger effect on me than I had thought at first. We started to walk through the corridor, in the company of the nice green and blue river that was shining as if it had lights inside.  
  
"Don't get angry.." He was smiling again, and then he whispered. "Or maybe you already forgot about all what I told you after dancing in your balcony? " I looked at him and blushed. "I see you didn't "He said, with a mysterious smile. I wondered what those two days were keeping for both of us.. and suddenly all the security about my feelings almost disappeared.. I needed to see Haldir.  
  
--------- -------------- ------------ -------------- ----------- ------------ -------- ---------  
  
"Nooo!!" Haldir shouted, when he saw Zana falling. His blue eyes widened when Legolas jumped after her. "Legolas, what are you doing?" He tried to follow them, but one of his feet was locked under a root. He felt a big pain when he tried to move, and felt so useless when he realised that he had to stop and free his leg first. Then, Legolas and Zana disappeared. Completely shocked, he looked through the hole, but he only saw darkness. And suddenly, the tree moved and the space became smaller.. it was impossible to see anything. He jumped to the other side, where Gimli was speechless, pale..  
  
"Haldir.. what had just happened? What the hell did Legolas? Is he crazy? And Zana? Where is she?" But Haldir didn't reply at once. He sat on the ground and covered his face with his hands, breathing deeply. The dwarf sat with him.  
  
"She fell and I let her go.. I didn't react like Legolas, I can't believe I didn't jump after her!" He shouted, angry. "Why that stupid root.. stopped me?? Why do I have to pass so many proofs? What does destiny want from me? I can't help anybody if those things happen to me!!" He was mad, his blue eyes shining with anger, looking at everywhere.  
  
"Haldir, everything happened too fast, you couldn't predict this! If you had jumped, maybe you would have broken your leg, and maybe you would have died too!"  
  
"Don't say that!! Nobody died here!!" Haldir stood up, taking Gimli by his clothes, threatening him with his gaze.  
  
"I know, I know.. but first, put me on the ground again, please, and control yourself" Haldir obeyed.  
  
"I'm sorry, Gimli.. but I can't help thinking that maybe they both won't ever return here and.. this is killing me. "For some seconds they were in silence.  
  
"What do we do now? Maybe we must return to Lorien.. Galadriel could help us" Gimli said, looking at the elf , worried. Haldir had changed in the past hours, and he couldn't tell what was different on him.. but there was something he didn't like. Haldir walked around the tree, then he kneeled and put his ear on the ground, listening carefully. He heard the sound of water.. and voices. His face lightened with a smile.  
  
"They're alive!" He shouted, standing up. "I also heard water.. we must follow it. I'm sure they will make the same. Probably the land of Rivers starts here.. so let's go, Gimli. We can't loose more time, Zana is alive and the hope has come again" Haldir started to walk so fast, and Gimli was trying to follow him.  
  
"You forgot about Legolas.." He murmured, a bit angry. Haldir wasn't his best friend exactly. They both disappeared in the woods.  
  
"We'll arrive in two days.. I won't ever forgive myself if something bad happens to her.. "He was murmuring, and Gimli sighed.  
  
"Haldir, I told you that it wasn't your fault. Blaming on you won't solve anything.. remember that Galadriel warned Zana about pessimistic thoughts.. so follow her advice.. come on, you're an elf! And I'm a dwarf and, at this moment, I'm more reasonable than you"! Haldir couldn't help smiling at those words. He stopped and looked at Gimli.  
  
"Thank you, Gimli. You're not so horrible" He went on walking, and the dwarf frowned.  
  
"Did you call me horrible?" 


	29. Unlucky twist

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ****************  
  
Hi again! I'm getting many new reviews and you all are so kind! Thank you very much! I would like to reply you all personally, but I'm afraid that my weekends are getting shorter every day, classes keep me busy most of time and I have to stay in the city where I study for the whole week..  
  
Anyway, an anonymous reviewer called Flame told me something interesting.. he/she said : "Tolkien and C.S. Lewis were good friends. C.S. liked to have people from earth visit his world. Tolkien did not. He is hurling in his grave now." And now I say.. wow! I have envy of him/her, because he/she knows what Tolkien wanted, I mean, I suppose he/she read somewhere that Tolkien once said something similar to "I hope in the future years, after my death, nobody will send herself/himself to Middle Earth or else I'll be hurling in my grave". So I would like to ask to this person who wrote, and who didn't let me know his/her email address, so that I had to reply here, I would like to ask him/ her to tell me, please, where can I find this information on Tolkien tastes, because I would be very grateful.. of course, maybe it's privileged information from the Other World.. anyway, please, to those "brave" ones who doesn't give an email address and make.. "sharp" remarks... how do you want me to comment your critics if I don't know how to contact you? I appreciate all kind of critics as long as they come from brave people who are able to write me back or explain their real reasons for disliking my work.. because as I said, I think that nobody can know what would Tolkien be thinking right now.. and if somebody knows, please tell me, OK? Flame, no offence, but you didn't give me your address and I had to reply you in this public place.  
  
Enough about this.. what I really appreciate and what really makes me update every weekend are all the nice reviews and all the kind people who are supporting me, and this is what it really matters! Thanks.  
  
****************** ************** ***************** ***********  
  
There's gotta be more to life...  
  
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me  
  
Cause the more that I'm...  
  
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life  
  
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more  
  
Than wanting more  
  
Than waiting on something other than this  
  
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....  
  
There's gotta be more than life - Stacey Orrico  
  
It was cold inside the cave, and as we were walking, the green river was growing up and the light became stronger. I was wearing a cloak that Legolas gave me, it seemed he wasn't cold at all, and he walked in silence, staring at the ground. I preferred the view of the shining liquid that was leading us to the Rivers.  
  
And maybe I should stop thinking about Haldir.. maybe I should finally give up with everything, with all kind of hopes, all kind of feelings for both elves. It was obvious that they were confused, yes.. but I was starting to be sure that when I left Middle Earth they wouldn't have any trouble to go on with their lives. They had lived so many years and sure experienced many similar situations.. not with girls from my world, but it was impossible to believe that in thousands of years neither of them had been in love before.  
  
Haldir didn't jump, Legolas did.. so what? Legolas had also made wonderful actions during the war, always helping his friends, he was a warrior and he was used to act like this. Well, but then Haldir should have jumped too.. I couldn't understand that. Or maybe I didn't want.. because probably, after all, he had realised that he was a too important elf from Lorien and I was just a simple mortal from an unknown world.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" I turned to meet Legolas gaze, his question surprised me. Smiling, he waited for my answer.  
  
"About nothing important" The ground was wet there, and I was trying not to fall. I felt Legolas hand in mine, helping me. "Thank you" I noticed I was blushing again.  
  
"I'm sorry but I don't believe you. You look too concentrated to be thinking about nothing special" We crossed a stone arc that led us to a bigger hall, bigger and darker, although the green light filled it, as well as it had made before.  
  
"Where do you think we are? "I asked, trying to change from subject. Legolas stopped and looked around, leaving my hand. I didn't know why, but I felt more alone with that loss. I sighed, and crossed my arms, holding the cloak.  
  
"Are you cold?" He asked, worried, and then his gaze went somewhere.  
  
"Just a bit.. "He went on looking at the corridor and seemed to be ignoring my reply.  
  
"We've been walking half a day, and we still have a long way to make.. I'm afraid that it will become harder and I'm really looking forward being outside.." His voice sounded sad and that made me feel unsure. He noticed it and tried to smile, putting his hand on my shoulder.. yeah, how friendly.. what I needed by then was a big hug. "Don't worry, Zana. Time will pass faster tomorrow, after sleeping. Now you're tired and maybe we should sit for a while and have lunch"  
  
"This sounds better than walking" I replied, looking for a place in the edge of the path.. I really loved that green light and the transparent water.. it was like being in a dream, in one of my dreams on Earth.. My memories about my home were different now, as if I had forgotten half of them.. I felt like a different person and the idea of coming back was killing me. I took my bag and looked for some food. Legolas sat in front of me.  
  
"I needed to be alone with you for some time, Zana" I looked at him, ashamed of my reaction. My hands were shaking because of nerves and I dropped some water. He smiled.  
  
"Well, I suppose that after jumping with me, I should say thank you.." That situation sounded familiar to me.. again, that movie I hated, the words "if you jump, I jump with you".. but in the mouth of Leonardo Di Caprio they didn't sound so well.. I didn't like that boy, I didn't like the movie and all the time I was remembering it. Titanic.. depressing.  
  
"I jumped because I had to do it" I didn't expect that answer, it sounded too technical, as if he was a machine or a soldier who obeys orders from generals. When I looked at him, I saw half of a smile. Was he joking?  
  
"Then, you had to jump, but not Haldir or Gimli.. why? Because you're in charge of mission? "There was irony in my voice, and he shook his head.  
  
"Why do you want me to say something that will make you feel embarrassed? " His blue eyes on mines, and again I felt the heat in my face. "See?" Now he was laughing, but then the silence came between us. Still staring at me, he took a deep breath, and then looked into the water. "It will be difficult for me, Zana"  
  
"What?" I was so confused, without knowing what to say.  
  
"All this time I've been avoiding my thoughts, knowing how you feel about Haldir, I know I should stay away" He was looking at me and I only wanted to hide or run away. I wasn't ready to talk about that, not in that moment, I was too confused and nervous, and.. I didn't trust myself.  
  
"You're not eating anything, and you should" Suddenly I became interested on food and I took my bag just to hide inside it, searching for something, although I didn't know what. I felt his hand in my arm.  
  
"Zana" I looked at him, keeping my breath. Then , he left again and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Nothing.." Murmured, and, without realising it, I sighed, recuperating my calm. What had just almost happened? I didn't want to know. And all what I knew was that I was avoiding him, he noticed it and it hurt him. Without thinking, I stood up and kneeled in front of him. He looked confused, but I was too.  
  
"Legolas, I'm sorry if I'm making you feel uncomfortable. You were always so kind with me, taking care of everything.. you treated me better than anybody else here.. "We were too close, I wasn't aware of that until I felt his breath in my face.  
  
"But then Haldir changed everything" He smiled sadly. Or was it my imagination? Were his blue eyes changing from colour?  
  
"Honestly, I can't say anything at this moment.." I realised I was whispering, and I realised what I had just said. I stood up, suddenly, and came back to my seat. Legolas didn't say anything and we went on eating in silence.. or this I thought at first..  
  
"Zana, I can't be like this. I must know what happens inside your head" He came and sat so close to me.. that situation.. was exactly like when Haldir , some days ago.. that was too much for me.  
  
"Legolas, listen to me" I stopped him with my hand, surprised with his reaction. "Do you know that Haldir asked exactly the same some days ago? Do you know that you both are driving me crazy?" But this time he didn't give up neither, and came even closer. "Legolas, please.." But my voice was just a whisper, as he was touching my face with his hand.  
  
"I can read in your eyes that things are not settled in your heart yet, Zana.. I'm seeing that I still have a chance" But I moved from my seat and stood up.  
  
"A chance for what, Legolas? And then, what? My heart divided in two, unable to choose during many days, and when finally one of you really give the first step and take care of me.. now.. the other one wants something from me too, but things are not like this, Legolas.. my heart is not a toy and you can't play with me like this." My voice was shaking, and he stood up too and walked towards me.  
  
"Zana, I only want what is better for you, and I saw your eyes when I discovered you both kissing that day.. I saw your eyes when you realised I had jumped into the cave with you.. and I'm seeing your eyes right now, and they tell me that there's still hope for me in your heart.. I won't ever hurt you, I offer you a place in my home and.."  
  
"You don't realise what are you saying!" I shouted, interrupting him. "I'm a mortal, Legolas! "He took my arm gently and nodded.  
  
"I perfectly know what I'm saying.. but you didn't have those doubts when you gave the first step with Haldir.. and situation is the same with him! " When I looked at him I couldn't go on talking. He was right, I hadn't thought about that. All my world seemed to fall apart, all my hopes, dreams and strength. I had gone too far away with both elves. It was impossible, I could never stay there. Never. "Are you OK, Zana? "  
  
"No.." I was about to cry.  
  
"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to make you feel bad.." He tried to hug me but I refused him.  
  
"No, it was your intention, Legolas.. and I must say that you were successful.. you managed to make me doubt about everything.. now I know that a mortal can't be with an elf and, now that I know it, I won't ever be with one of your class. "I looked at him, angry. "Do you know that if I chose you, I would get old and you would remain young forever? Would you be able to be with an old woman and not with pretty elves?" He looked sad, and got angry too.  
  
"Do you think that my heart is so material? How can you say this about me?"  
  
"You don't know what are you saying, Legolas.. please, now leave me alone or shut up, or just walk, but forget about me, forget about Haldir, forget that I ever came and.." But I couldn't go on speaking because he came closer and kissed me, the last thing I had expected. I didn't move for a while, unable to react.. I tried to think about Haldir, and I felt so bad, so guilty.. I was going to push Legolas away, but something inside stopped me and I kissed him back, letting his arms wrap and hug me.  
  
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Haldir stopped walking. Gimli gave him a curious look. The elf was so absent minded, as if he had perceived something.  
  
"What's wrong, Haldir? "But the dwarf got no reply. "Haldir.." The elf looked at him and smiled.  
  
"Sorry.. I had a bad feeling for a moment, but now it's gone.." They went on walking, crossing the last part of the deep forest. The sound of water was closer, and some rocks showed up in the distance. "Gimli.. you like caves, mines.. "  
  
"Of course, dwarves are experts on hidden places and.."  
  
"Shut up and listen to me" Haldir's voice was sharp as he was looking around. "I can hear the sound of water, near.. so there must be a hole or an entry to a cave near from here.. maybe we could find it and come inside.. and meet them.."  
  
"Yes.. maybe you're right.." Gmli spoke, walking around, looking for a rock. "There, I'll check there.. the entry is wet, so water is close. "He ran and jumped some plants, roots and stones. Finally he arrived there and Haldir waited, expectant. An eternity seemed to pass when he heard the dwarf's voice. "Come here! I found it!"  
  
"Are you sure?" Haldir ran as fast as he could and met Gimli in the base of a huge rock. In a corner, a hole, big enough to let him pass.. but the idea wasn't too appealing.. he didn't know where would it finish.. if there would be enough space, or air.. suddenly he felt dizzy.. elves were not made for that. His heart was beating so fast.  
  
"This is great, really great!" Gimli was delighted with the idea of coming into the cave. But when he turned to meet his friend's gaze, he noticed that something was wrong. Haldir was pale, so pale, as if it was too difficult to take a big decision. The dwarf beated on his arm, friendly. " Don't worry, Haldir. I'll go first, then come back and tell you if you'll be able to walk in.." Haldir seemed to react, recuperating some colour on his face.  
  
"I'll be very grateful to you, Gimli. I really appreciate this action for your part. Really"  
  
"No problem, wait here and don't go anywhere" The dwarf stepped inside the darkness, and started to walk. The ceiling wasn't too high, but maybe the elf would be able to crawl.. but at some point it became even smaller ,and now Gimli was sure that Haldir would have to stay in the forest.. but curiosity was too strong and he went on advancing.. after minutes he saw a green light, and the sound of voices, arguing.. he could distinguish some phrases.. yes, it was Zana.. and Legolas.. "Do you think that my heart is so material? How can you say this about me?" This was Legolas.. "but forget about me, forget about Haldir, forget that I ever came and.." This was Zana.. and then, silence.. Gimli went on walking and finally reached the exit.. he was going to shout and greet them when he saw something that paralysed his senses. Legolas took the girl and kissed her.. she looked upset, trying to move, but what made him freeze was her reaction, because all from the sudden she was kissing him back.  
  
"I can't believe this.. my best friend.. kissing the human girl.. oh, poor Haldir.. I'm so happy that your eyes didn't see this" He thought, returning to the hole and coming back to the surface, shocked.  
  
Haldir had been waiting, inpatient, wishing that the dwarf was back.. so when he heard Gimli complaining, he ran to the entry. The dwarf showed up, his face was pale, an unusual thing on him, and he was murmuring words in his tongue.  
  
"Gimli, what's wrong? Tell me, can I go too? Is there enough space?" The dwarf saw his nervous blue eyes and felt sorry for him. Haldir saw hesitation on his gaze.  
  
"I'm sorry, Haldir.." He didn't know if he should tell him or not.. "But.. I must tell you that.. well.." He took a deep breath, angry. "There's not enough space, I had to go back" Haldir looked so disappointed that he couldn't help feeling so sorry for him, and feeling angry with his best friend.. how could he dare to kiss that girl, knowing how did Haldir feel about her" "Tomorrow you'll meet her, don't worry about anything. "  
  
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I pushed Legolas away, finally reacting. I was shocked and angry. And he looked ashamed.  
  
"I'm so sorry ,Zana, but I had to know what did you feel about me.." I wasn't able to look for an answer, I was shaking.. thinking of Haldir, thinking of everything and nothing at the same time.  
  
"Legolas.. I want to go out and leave this cave. I want to breath fresh air and see the sun.. I want.." He was staring at me and I hated what I was feeling. He took my hand, and I took it back too. What was I doing? 


	30. Broken hearts

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana **************  
  
A fast chapter before leaving again! Thank you for all the reviews! I'm a bit in a hurry so I can't talk more, I hope to see you all next weekend! Have fun!  
  
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And through it all she offers me protection  
  
A lot of love and affection  
  
Whether I'm right or wrong  
  
And down the waterfall  
  
Wherever it may take me  
  
I know that life won't break me  
  
When I come to call she won't forsake me  
  
I'm loving angels instead  
  
- Angels - Robbie Williams  
  
As we were walking in the corridors, I felt as if I was carrying a heavy stone in one of my pockets. Hours had passed since we had kissed, and until now I hadn't noticed anything. Surprised, I put my hand inside and suddenly, many memories came to my head.. the ring that Haldir had given me.. I picked it and it shone under the green light. I felt tears in my eyes and, without thinking, I placed it in my finger. Haldir was in my minds again, and all what I wanted to do was leaving the cave. I felt Legolas gaze on me.  
  
"You look sad, Zana" He said, and I nodded, a bit angry.  
  
"I betrayed him, I allowed you to kiss me.. this shouldn't have happened, I wish it had never happened" Legolas stopped and faced me.  
  
"Are you serious about this?" Hs voice sounded hard in my ears, his blue eyes cold. "Are you completely sure?" We stared at each other and, for a moment, I didn't know what to say, as confused I was. "Zana.." He gave a step towards me. "By now you should know a bit more about your feelings, don't you think?" He took my hand, but I refused it. He looked hurted, but said nothing.  
  
"Legolas, I feel something very strong about Haldir, things are very different now from the day I arrived in Mirkwood.. I mean, if this had happened the day you found me in the forest.." I smiled, and shrugged " I assure you that Haldir wouldn't have existed for me.." Legolas half smiled, but I went on talking. " But this didn't happen.. and now the consequences are those ones.. " I noticed that he was looking at the ring.  
  
"So it's serious then.. you wear the ring of Lorien.." I looked at him confused, checking the small jewel. His blue eyes were amazing, but I tried not to think about that.  
  
"What do you mean? He gave me this ring because it's a family's memory.." But Legolas smiled sadly, and shook his head, taking my hand to analyse it.  
  
"Zana, this ring is the symbol of Lorien, the ring that only very important elves wear.. it was given to Haldir when he became the Captain of the Guard of Lorien.. it's something very special and I'm so surprised that he gave it to you.. I wonder what Galadriel would have said about that.." I felt even worse after his words, as if I was a horrible person. Haldir really had opened his heart to me, and I had kissed Legolas..  
  
"What will happen now, Legolas? Will you tell Haldir that." I looked at him , expectantly, but he smiled.  
  
"Don't worry, this will be our secret.. I shouldn't have pressed you like I did.. I understand that you were confused.. and I also understand that you already made your choice and.. maybe I should respect it.." He took a deep breath. " But I also think that if you feel something for me, something different from what you feel about Haldir.. you should consider it and decide which feeling is stronger." He left my hand and looked at me. "We're running out of time, Zana. We don't know when will this journey finish.. and when the time will come."  
  
"I know, I know.. but the only thing I want now is to go outside and forget that we were here" I went on walking and Legolas followed me. I was becoming asleep, probably it was already dark outside.  
  
"Maybe we should get some sleep here.." Legolas read my mind, and we stopped again, taking our sleeping bags. This time I had mine with me and I was so happy for that.. again, the memories attacked me.. the nights I had spent in Haldir's arms.. Legolas placed himself next to me, and we both covered with the green clothes. The silence between us grew up. Minutes passed, and my eyes were closing. The sound of water was relaxing, like a cascade. And I fell asleep.  
  
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"It's late and we must sleep, Haldir" Gimli stopped in the middle of a field, looking at the sky. Haldir had been silent all the way ,since the dwarf had checked the hole in the rock. Maybe he suspected something, after all, he wasn't stupid.  
  
"I know.." Haldir murmured, taking his sleeping bag. His pale face shone in the moonlight, and his blue eyes were sad. They both were laying in their bags when the elf broke the silence. "Gimli, what happened in the rock?"  
  
"What do you mean?" The dwarf looked at him, scared. He never used to lie, he was a sincere being, besides all his defects, now Haldir was a good friend and he didn't know if he would be able to hide such a thing to him.  
  
"I saw your gaze when you came outside.. you were different from the moment you stepped inside.. since that moment I knew that you were hiding me something.. " Haldir's voice sounded strong and demanding. Gimli didn't know what to say.  
  
"You're a crazy and worried elf! " He tried to look happy, or angry.. " Get some sleep or tomorrow you'll be unbearable". He turned around on his kind of bed, but he knew that Haldir wouldn't give up so easily.  
  
"If you go on lying to me, dwarf.. you'll be sorry for your behaviour" Haldir sat down and stared at Gimli. The dwarf felt a bit scared, and this made him be angry with himself. Sitting down too, he took a deep breath.  
  
"Haldir, what I've seen can't be told by me.. you must wait to see the girl and ask her, OK? " The silence became uncomfortable.  
  
"I perfectly know what happened, because I've been afraid of this since the moment they fell in the hole" Gimli couldn't tell if he was sad or angry, he looked so strange and that was scary. "I knew that Legolas would take any chance to come closer to her.."  
  
"Don't talk about my friend like this, Haldir.. he would never force her to do anything she didn't want to happen" Gimli's voice became sharp too.  
  
"You're telling me that she caused the situation too?" Now it was a shout and he stood up. "I trust Zana and I know that she would have never given the first step.. when Legolas will meet me he will have a big problem to deal with.."  
  
"Haldir.. calm down.. you know that Legolas loved her since the first day.. and you know that she also felt the same about him.. " Gimli walked towards the elf, more friendly. "But you also know that she chose you, and whatever had happened inside the cave, doesn't mean anything.."  
  
"Maybe not for you, dwarf.. but Legolas forced Zana to do something she would have never allowed and this won't remain like this.."  
  
"You trust this girl too much, elf, and you don't know her.. Legolas is the best friend I've ever had, I trust him and he's loyal.. she's just a human girl ,remember this" Gimli returned to his bag and laid down. Haldir was speechless, and tried to scare away all doubts from his head. He indeed trusted her, and he knew that she would never betray him.. or this he wanted to think.  
  
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The morning had come and we were walking in silence for hours.. I was afraid of what was expecting to me.. the light became stronger inside the cave, but it was day light .. the exit was closer, and Legolas felt a lot better, breathing the fresh air he recuperated all his optimism, he was obviously willing to see the sun.  
  
And the idea of meeting Haldir again was too beautiful to be true.. and at the same time, it would be too painful for me.. even if Legolas kept the secret, my heart would know and remember it.. and I wouldn't be able to look into his eyes again.. I was nervous, and scared.  
  
" Look, Zana.. the light, upon us.. we've arrived in the rivers!" Legoals shouted, running towards a big lake.. the river had grown up and found the outside.. I saw the shadow of some trees.. but I noticed the silence.. no voices, no elves or dwarves.. "Zana, we're outside!" I ran there too, and saw the amazing lands in front of us. I passed under a stone arc and the sunlight forced me to close my eyes for a while. I felt the warmth of its rays and suddenly this made me happy. Legolas smiled and hugged me. "We're outside!" I hugged him back, feeling a bit uncomfortable.. he noticed it, and got separated from me. "I'm sorry.." he murmured.. and I blushed. Then ,looking around, I heard some steps. And a strong voice complaining.no doubt about that ,it was Gimli. I smiled and walked towards that place. He saw me and came running.  
  
"Zana, how nice to se you all!" He shouted, greeting Legoals too. And then, my heart stopped for a while. Haldir was standing there, with a strange gaze in his eyes.. as if he felt pain because of something.. I didn't know what to do.. if I should move, or stay..he looked so serious, so.. angry, maybe..  
  
"You won't say hello to me, Zana?" He said, with a sarcastic voice, and I smiled. I walked there, stood in front of him, waiting.. he didn't hug me.. what was he waiting for? He looked at Legolas in the distance, and his eyes became darker. I felt so scared.. he knew something indeed.. but.. how was that possible? Maybe it was just my imagination.. "Legolas.. are you both OK?" Still without hugging me.. Legolas nodded, and Gimli took his arm and led him to a place apart, leaving us alone. Haldir's eyes returned to mines. More silence.  
  
"What's wrong..? "I whispered. "I thought you would also be happy to see me again.." I was about to cry, my voice shaking.. I felt so bad, so guilty, I hated Legolas. And Haldir didn't reply, he just stared at me. My heart was beating so fast. He took my hand and looked at the ring, then back to my eyes. "Haldir, please.." And in that moment he wrapped me with his arms and kissed me. All my sorrow was gone and kissed him back.. so happy that, whatever was inside his mind, he had forgiven me.. or maybe he just didn't know anything.. whatever.. I was so happy and I didn't want that moment to finish.  
  
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Gimli made Legolas stop, looking at him with an angry gaze.  
  
"You, stupid elf.. I thought you were.. you were.. I don't have words for the thing you made!!" Legoals stared at him, shocked.  
  
"What do you mean?" Gimli's face became red, so red, he was trying not to shout, and his whisper came like a thunder.  
  
"By all the mines of Moria, you kissed her!!"  
  
"How do you know this?" Legolas was shocked, ashamed.. he sat down in a rock, trying to think.. if Gimli knew that.. then Haldir knew it too!  
  
"I saw you both.. we found a hole in a rock and I checked it, Haldir waited outside.. and when I reached the end, I saw how you.." He stopped talking and put a face, as if he had eaten a dozen of acid lemons all together. " How could you do that?"  
  
"How come Haldir wasn't there?" Now Legolas was so worried and scared. So sorry for having made that big mistake.  
  
"The space wasn't big enough for him ,don't worry. He didn't see anything.." Gimli's voice became lower..  
  
"But he knows it.." Legolas murmured, shaking his head. "Gimli, I can't explain what happened to me.. the situation was so.. proper.. we were alone there.. nobody else.. and.."  
  
"But you knew that the girl was confused! So how could you do that? Legolas, since she arrived you're not the good elf I met.. you're like a human, exactly like a human.. but not a noble one, like Aragorn.. you're.. you're.."  
  
"Stop with this, Gimli.. I made a big mistake and now I'll pay for it.. I must speak with Haldir."  
  
"No" Gimli stopped him, sharply. "Let Zana do this.. now you don't have anything to do with her.. leave them alone and go on with your own way.." Legolas felt too ashamed to reply, all his world fell down.  
  
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Haldir touched my face with his hand, looking into my eyes. He wasn't smiling, still that sad gaze..  
  
"Haldir.. I must tell you something, and it's not easy.." I felt the tears again. " But I promise you that it wasn't my intention, I didn't want that to happen.. I didn't cause it.." Was I accusing Legolas? But, after all, it was him the one who had kissed me.. haldir took a deep breath.  
  
"I knew that he had pressed you, Zana.. I knew that you would never have kissed him back.. right?" His blue eyes became darker again, I was shocked because he knew everything and, besides it, he was still standing there, hugging me. "Zana.. did you kiss him back?" I blushed, and I noticed that his muscles got tensed.  
  
"Just for a second.. and then I pushed him away, I promise you it was like this, Haldir, you must believe me.. everything happened so fast that I couldn't react!" But Haldir had his face like the stone ,unreadable.  
  
"I believe you.." But his voice sounded so different, and he walked away from me. "We must go on walking." He went away, and I ran after him. I took his arm,and he looked back.  
  
"Haldir, please.. tell me that you believe me and that you're not angry.."  
  
"I believe each and every word you told me, Zana.. and I appreciate your sincerity. I'm not angry with you.. I'm just.. confused.." And he left me, walking towards Gimli and Legolas. I felt so bad that I wanted to die. 


	31. Four plus one

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ********************  
  
I got 20 reviews in 4 days, that was amazing! Thank you very much for all the things you said about me! I'm really happy to get this support. Anyway, as you can see, nothing is decided yet : ) Zana is still confused , well, somehow I put myself in her place : ) I mean, in this moment my life is a chaos, and writing about similar situations helps me : ) Anyway, as I promised the other day, when I'll finish this story I'll tell you some of my "secrets" and I'm sure that after knowing them, you all will understand better why I decided to make this story so so confusing : ) Yes, my life is a bit unpredictable and every day I get amazing news.. I could say that I don't have time to get bored : ) Thank you very much and I hope you'll like this chapter too!  
  
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Till now I always got by on my own  
  
I never really cared until I met you  
  
And now it chills me to the bone  
  
How do I get you alone  
  
You don't know how long I have wanted  
  
to touch your lips and hold you tight  
  
You don't know how long I have waited  
  
and I was going to tell you tonight  
  
But the secret is still my own  
  
and my love for you is still unknown  
  
Alone - Heart  
  
The past four days we have walked without exchanging a word.. Haldir was mute, quiet, serious.. the only ones speaking were Legolas and Gimli.. and the most depressing thing was that Legolas also avoided me.. I was alone, or at least, I felt alone. We crossed valleys, hills.. the landscape became boring, or maybe it was me the one who wasn't able to get all the beauty of the land, as lost in my thoughts as I was. At nights I was too tired to think, so I used to fall asleep as soon as I stepped inside my sleeping bag. And no one looked at me, no one asked me how I felt, if I was OK.. nothing.  
  
It was late in the afternoon when we reached the top of a hill. The sun was red in the horizon and some clouds shone with a mix of yellow and orange light. It was so nice to watch at, and I sighed, remembering the good times that seemed to be so far away from that moment. We all were lost in our thoughts, leaving the bags in the ground and getting ready to spend the night in that wonderful place. I saw the first star of the night shining above us and I couldn't help smiling, remembering my nights in Mirkwood. I froze when I heard a voice close to me.  
  
"It's the first time I see your smile in four days" I turned around to Haldir's gaze, his eyes were sad and serious, but after a while they smiled too.  
  
"I didn't have any reason to be happy, Haldir" My words sounded sharp, and I felt guilty. After all, I had caused that situation. Well, Legolas had caused it.. but I was guilty as well and I had to accept it. Haldir was about to leave but I called him. He turned around. "Please, wait a minute" He doubted, and then walked back, close to me. Legolas and Gimli were looking at us, but I didn't care.  
  
"I don't want to hear any explanation about what happened, Zana" Haldir looked so angry, but soon he took a deep breath and stared at me.  
  
"Haldir, since that day I was wishing to talk to you, but you were avoiding me. I didn't dare to approach you and ask what was wrong, because obviously you would get mad at me." Some seconds of silence followed my statement.  
  
"I wasn't able to talk to you, Zana.. I'm not angry, but you have to understand that this hurted me" He took his sleeping bag and passed me mine. It was already dark, but in the horizon there were still light blue colours. Gimli had made a fire and he was laying next to it, together with Legolas. I saw him giving me a look, and I looked back, confused. When I saw his smile I felt even worse.  
  
"I'm curious about something, and I would like to ask you a question.." Haldir looked at me surprised.  
  
"Of course, tell me" He sat down and stared at me. I covered myself with the blanket and then looked at him.  
  
"When I fell in the hole, only Legolas jumped.." Haldir's face changed, as if all from the sudden he had understood all the mysteries in the universe. I went on talking before he started talking back. " So when I was in the cave, scared, afraid of everything. I only had Legolas with me. You didn't jump, and I thought you didn't care enough about me, that finally I had discovered who of you really loved me.. I was so disappointed, Haldir.. and now I ask you.. why did you have doubts about jumping, when Legolas followed me at once, without thinking?" Haldir smiled and took a deep breath. I was surprised to see his reaction, he looked so sure about himself again.  
  
"So this is the explanation I needed" He commented, in low voice. His eyes looked at me again , and he came closer. I was shocked when he kissed me. What happened to him? He was driving me crazy!  
  
"Haldir, I don't understand you.. first.."  
  
"Stop talking" He whispered, interrupting me. His blue eyes were so close to me, and I felt well again. "I didn't jump because I couldn't.. a root caught my feet and stopped me. Gimli can tell you this, if you don't believe me.. and when I finally was able to escape, the tree fell over the hole and the space was too small to jump into." I looked at him in surprise, and al my thoughts became a bit more clear.  
  
"And all this time I had been thinking that.. I wasn't enough for you, or that you had stopped loving me, or.." I was speechless, shocked.. and after this confession I felt even more guilty for all what had happened. "I'm sorry, Haldir, I'm so sorry.." My eyes were full of tears, and his hand touched my face.  
  
"Zana.. during those four days I've been thinking.. that even if you loved Legolas, or even if you liked him a bit.. I wouldn't give up. You're too important for me and I had decided that whatever had happened inside the cave, I would never leave you.. and now that things are more clear, I understand better the way you acted, and I understand you.. and I'm so happy to see that there's still hope for me in your heart.." Those words caught me by surprise, exactly the same words that Legolas had said to me. Legolas.. he obviously was listening to us, and suddenly I felt sorry for him too.. and I got angry with myself and with my reaction. Without thinking, I avoided Haldir's gaze, and separated a bit from him.  
  
"We must sleep, Haldir" I said, and he looked at me.  
  
"What's wrong? " He analysed my face and followed my eyes.. when he saw Legolas his expression changed. "I understand.." He whispered, and then laid down on his sleeping bag.  
  
"Haldir, please, don't start again with this.. I'm with you, right? If I preferred Legolas, I would be right now with him, don't you think? " But I got silence in reply. He looked at the sky.  
  
"Good night, Zana. Tomorrow we'll talk more"  
  
"Haldir.." But he ignored me. I laid down too, looking at the fire. Through it, I met Legolas eyes. Suddenly he smiled, and then, disappeared inside his blanket.  
  
------- ----------- ------------ -------------- --------------- --- --------------  
  
I felt a hand in my shoulders.. I couldn't open my eyes, I was too asleep. For a while I thought I was dreaming, but then I heard a voice.  
  
"Zana.. wake up" It was so sweet, and I smiled.. not sure about the elf who was talking to me. "Zana.. come on.." I opened my eyes, it was too dark, and the fire was almost disappearing. Legolas was standing there, together with Haldir. I sat down, worried, when I saw their faces.  
  
"What's wrong?" I was shaking , it was cold. And Haldir gave me his cloak.  
  
"We heard steps, Haldir woke me up and Gimli is checking the path. Come on, we must get ready" Legolas took my arm and made me stand up.  
  
"Steps? What are you saying? " I was a bit scared, but as soon as I saw Haldir, when he took my hand, I felt better. I came closer to him, with the stupid need of feeling protected. He noticed it, because he put his arm around my shoulders. Legolas avoided us, turning around and murmuring something about taking the bags.  
  
"Someone is near, and we can't know who.. but don't fear anything, I'm sure he won't be a problem for us.." Haldir smiled, comforting me. He seemed to have forgotten about the last night's conversation and that made me happy.  
  
"How do you know he's a "he" and not a "she"? I asked, confused, and Haldir smiled again.  
  
"You won't find a girl walking alone in Middle Earth , I assure you this "  
  
"I was alone when Legolas found me" I said, fearing that a new girl would come from Earth.. but that was stupid.. Legolas looked at me in the distance.  
  
"He's a human man, I know it because of the sound of his steps" He said to us, and Haldir agreed.  
  
"And he's near from here, I can feel it.." Haldir's eyes looked around, he left his arm, and I felt the cold. I felt alone. I suddenly remembered Galadriel's predictions.. someone else would join us.. someone from my world. My heart started beating so fast, and the elves heard it, because both of them stared at me.  
  
We were waiting, in silence.. nerves, fears.. all came to me and I felt scared. I wondered who was him, the mysterious man from Earth who had helped me in the distance, the one who cared about me and I even didn't know myself .. I noticed that Haldir and Legolas exchanged worried looks, and Gimli returned.  
  
"I saw a man, not too tall.. like Zana, I could say.. he doesn't wear weapons, and he's not a threaten for us.. he comes alone.. in some minutes he'll find us" The dwarf was breathing strongly, he had come running. I tried to remember all the people I knew.. trying to adapt his descriptions to the memories I had.. but I couldn't find a match. Haldir took a deep breath.. he looked worried. As well as Legolas.. and they both made me worried too.  
  
"What's wrong, elves? " I asked, and they looked at me.  
  
"Galadriel said he would change things.." Haldir commented, with a strange voice.  
  
"We're worried, Zana.." Legolas remarked.  
  
"Why? Why would you worry about someone who helped me in my world? " And I understood the real meaning of their words.. they were afraid of him, but.. why? It was more a personal matter than a real danger, and suddenly I became more calmed. I was terribly curious about the identity of my helper, if he could be called like this. Haldir came close to me again.  
  
"I'm afraid that something else could separate us.." I looked at him, surprised.  
  
"Something "else"? " I blushed when I realised what he wanted to mean. "You're still worried about Legolas, right? " Haldir didn't reply, but I saw his eyes and it was enough for me.. he had the answer written on them. And now it was me the one who gave one step and kissed him. He looked surprised but soon kissed me back, and for some seconds we both forgot about what was happening around us, I felt so safe in his arms that I wanted to make the rest of the world disappear.  
  
"I'm sorry for the interruption.." Legolas voice sounded sad and, again, I felt a kind of pain inside me. " But he's here" We all kept the breath, and I couldn't help walking towards the path, when I felt Haldir's hand keeping mine and stopping me.  
  
We four were standing there, waiting.. now the steps were more clear and it was obvious that someone else was coming.. I couldn't wait more to know who was him, which was his mission here.. the waiting was killing me, Gimli breathed strongly, nervously . And finally he showed up.  
  
"Oh, my god" I whispered, almost fainting.. he was the less expected person there.. I would have never guessed that, it was impossible! Of course I knew him, but since one year ago I had thought that he was ignoring me, that he was apart from my life.. I couldn't believe my eyes and I even didn't notice when Haldir left my hand.. the human man was looking me back, shocked.. his dark eyes on mines, standing and waiting.. suddenly he smiled.  
  
"This is a miracle, Zana.. I've been searching for you during days!" He shouted, and walked towards me.. I didn't know if I should hug him or not, after all, he was one of my professors. One of my professors! The one who was so nice tome once that I couldn't forget about him in a whole year.. the one I saw every day in the faculty, in the distance, thinking that he didn't even know that I existed.. and he had followed me.. why? We both stared at each other, and finally it was him the one who hugged me.  
  
"I'm so happy to see that you're ok, Zana" I saw Legolas and Haldir's gazes, and I came back to reality. Things were getting complicated. 


	32. Heartache

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ********* *********** ************  
  
I wrote another fast chapter! The truth is that I'm in a strange mood and I needed to write..: ) I don't know if this will be good or not.. I just wrote what was inside my head.. I hope it won't be too bad, and thank you very much for the reviews!!!!!!! Ah.. if I was able to solve my worries just writing the solution.. it would be too easy and the world would be a chaos, I know : )  
  
************ ************ ************* *********** *********  
  
You're such a secret  
  
Misty eyed and shady  
  
how you hold the key  
  
Oh, you're like a candle  
  
Your flame slowly fadin'  
  
Burnin' out and burnin' me  
  
Can't you see  
  
Just tryin' to say to you  
  
You're bringin' on the heartache  
  
Takin all the best of me  
  
Oh can't you see  
  
You got the best of me  
  
- Bringing on the heartbreak - Mariah Carey  
  
Haldir had been analysing the human boy for the past three hours. The journey went on, the rising sun filled everything with its light and the black sky turned into red in the horizon. The elf walked near from Legolas, and they both exchanged a meaningful look.  
  
"What do you think about him?" Haldir whispered, and Legolas shrugged, staring at Zana.  
  
"It seems they both were good friends on Earth.. but I can't judge by the moment.. lets be patient, and if he tried to.." He stopped talking for a while, and Haldir waited with en expectant look. Legolas shook his head. "Lets give him a chance"  
  
"Something tells me that things will change from now on.." Haldir murmured, and went on watching at the couple in front of them. Zana was smiling happily, talking all time, and he felt a kind of pain inside his chest when the human boy looked back at her. He wasn't too older than her, maybe a couple of years.. with dark hair and eyes, as tall as Zana. His skin was darker than hers, he wore a strange brown sweater. And he didn't seem to be interested on the creatures of Middle Earth. His eyes were only for the human girl and this made the elves mad.  
  
"Someone should write a book about this" Gimli commented with a laugh, staring at the elves. "This is too funny to be missed, you both are so jealous that I wish I had here all the dwarves of this world with me!" His laughs sounded all over the place, and Zana looked back, smiling. Haldir saw her eyes, shining with a different light, and he didn't like that.  
  
"Don't play with us, dwarf" Legolas beated on Gimli's arm. "Something troubles us and time will tell what is it.. don't make jokes about that, Gimli, this can be more serious than it seems" They three went on walking behind the humans, and suddenly silence spread around. The land of Rivers was there.  
  
------------- ------------------- ------------------- ----------------- -----------------  
  
I couldn't understand their silence.. since he had arrived, three hours ago, Haldir and Legolas had been avoiding me. That made me angry and I opted for ignoring them.. there were too many things I wanted to know, too many questions for the new member.. I still couldn't believe that he was the one who had helped me some months ago.. the one who had made possible that I had got that job in the faculty.. I was so shocked and happy, too confused to analyse what I was feeling.. for a while I forgot about the elves and I felt as if I was back on Earth.. as if I was just walking with a friend in any of our forests or parks.. only when I heard Gimli's laughs I came back to present time and I realised that many things were waiting for me there, including a mysterious mission.  
  
"This is too confusing and I don't know where to start.." I murmured, and Fern looked at me with a smile.  
  
"It's difficult for me as well.. now you can imagine that I didn't arrive here by coincidence " His dark eyes shone , and in some seconds we were walking apart from the group.  
  
"Why don't you explain me, first, how did we arrive here? I mean, how come you were able to follow me?" He nodded, and I waited for the answer.  
  
"I can't tell in detail, Zana.. " he looked in the distance, trying to remember. "I saw you walking, and I tried to reach you.. I needed to talk to you, after so many months hidden.. and suddenly a blue light filled the halls, many people shouted, scared, but you seemed not to realise about it.. and then, you came into the light.. I ran, and followed you.. and then.. then I woke up in a wooden room, and someone told me that I was in Middle Earth" he laughed, as if it was something unreal. "Can you believe it? I mean, those people wanted me to believe that I was among elves in Rivendell.. but in the end it was true, Zana.." He looked amazed, remembering his days in that place. " Elrond himself came to talk to me.. and he explained everything.."  
  
"What do you mean with "everything"? " I wanted to know if he was aware of what was happening. Fern looked at me, amazed, with a strange expression on his face.  
  
"He told me about you, about your arrival in Mirkwood, and then Aragorn and Arwen spent with me some afternoons, and the ranger told me some stories about your days with the elves.. and then Gandalf met me too.. he talked about your mission and the big decision that one day you'll have to make.. and I realised that you must be a very important person with a very important destiny.. and I was meant to share it with you.." His last words were lower and we stared at each other. But that was too odd, I already was sharing my destiny with Haldir, Legolas and Gimli.. and I already had found someone very important for me.. Fern looked at me again. "Zana.. something worries you, right? " He looked back, to see Haldir and Legolas, and then watched at me again. "They're the real Haldir and Legolas. how come they look exactly like in the movie?" I smiled, and sighed.  
  
"It's a too long story and I'll tell you it another day.." He didn't reply, and silence came over us. I had a strange feeling, something bad, as if I was getting a kind of warning from somewhere. I looked at Haldir, and I noticed he wasn't too comfortable with Fern's presence.. neither was Legolas.  
  
"People, what do we do now?" Asked Gimli, when we arrived in the Rivers. I saw the land from the top of a hill, and it was wonderful. The green landscape was crossed by hundreds of small blue rivers.. the contrast of colours reminded me of my favourite painter, Van Gogh. And the sun over them.. it was too charming and I couldn't stop watching at it. Suddenly I felt Haldir's hand on mine. I turned to meet his gaze and he smiled.  
  
"I'm sorry for being absent minded the past hours" I apologised, but he shook his head.  
  
"I understand that you had many questions to make, Zana.. but I have to be sincere with you. I don't like the way he acts with us.. he even didn't say a word to me, or to Legolas, or Gimli.." Haldir's eyes searched for him and his expression changed again.  
  
"Maybe he didn't talk to you for the same reason I didn't, Haldir.. he was too surprised when he met me, and we needed to talk.. now that I got an explanation, things will change.. he just followed me, but he doesn't have any relation with the mission.."  
  
"Galadriel said he would change things, Zana.." I didn't reply this because I couldn't find a proper answer. Legolas came close to us, and looked at Haldir.  
  
"We must cross here, the first river is too deep, but then we'll find an easier path for them" Legolas pointed at Gimli and Fern. And then , to my surprise, he walked towards my human friend. Fern turned around and met the tall elf.  
  
"Don't you think it's about time to talk to us, boy?" Legolas crossed his arms over his chest , and waited. Haldir joined him soon, and Fern looked at me, confused.  
  
"I'm sorry, I was too shocked when I met her.." he apologised, and then shrugged. " I don't know what do you want to know, I can't give you more information than the one you got from Zana.. I still don't know what happened that day in the faculty.." I felt sorry for him, the two elves were standing in front of Fern and he looked so small.  
  
"Maybe you should leave and return to Earth" Haldir said, arrogantly. "We're enough here, and we don't need you, you'll be an obstacle for our journey.."  
  
"Haldir, wait a minute" Legolas warned, and then I walked towards them. "Galadriel said he would appear, so this means that he must come with us" Haldir gave him a freezing look.  
  
"My intentions are good, I mean no harm to her, and you shouldn't worry about this" Fern was looking at Legolas when he talked, and this surprised me.. because in my opinion, it was Haldir the one who looked more threatening..  
  
"I usually don't make fast judgements, and I decided to give you a chance.. I'm sorry if I was rude at first.. but you must understand that we're involved in a serious situation.." Legolas relaxed a bit, and then Haldir walked back with me.  
  
"We must go on walking" He said, looking at the human, and then at me. "Come on" He took my arm gently, and gave a last look to Fern.  
  
"I know him and he's not a danger " I said, and Haldir stared at me, surprised.  
  
"You're defending him?" I shook my head, taking a deep breath.  
  
"I'm just saying that he's a good person, and if Legolas trusts him, you should do it too. Look at Gimli, even the dwarf is keeping a conversation with him now!" We looked at them, Fern was laughing at something that Gimli said, and Legolas smiled too.  
  
"I don't trust humans.." Haldir murmured, and then he realised about what he had said, because he looked at me worried. I stopped walking for a while, unable to say anything. I felt so bad, I knew that deep inside he would never be happy with me. "Zana, I didn't want to say that.."  
  
"No, Haldir.. I always thought that you would never be with a human girl, because since the day I met you, you acted arrogantly with me.. until we finally fell for each other.. but now I can't be sure about you, knowing that you can't trust one of mines.."  
  
"I trust Aragorn like I trust any elf" Haldir took my hand and walked closer to me. "Please, Zana.. you have to believe me. I trust you, and the reason is that I don't see you like a human.. I mean.. you're not like the rest of humans.."  
  
"Why not?" I asked, with a sharp voice. But his face had such a sweet expression that I couldn't be angry any more.  
  
"Because I love you, and you know it.." He whispered, and I felt shocked.. I didn't expect that and I blushed deeply. Of course, I had guessed his feelings towards me, after all what had happened.. but it was the first time he had said it so. clear. I was about to reply when I heard Legolas voice.  
  
"Zana, Haldir.. we must take this path. " He showed a narrow way, and we stopped and walked back. The ground was full of mud, of humidity, and the sound of water was around us. Fern looked at me, surprised. And I felt confused.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked, and he was doubting, but I insisted. "Tell me, please.."  
  
"You.. and Haldir." I nodded, and he shook his head. "But it was Legolas the one who.." He stopped talking, and I stared at him.  
  
"What happened with Legolas?" When the elf heard his name he looked back with interrogant gaze, and I blushed.  
  
"Do you know that it's not polite to talk about someone when he's not there to defend himself?" he commented with a smile.  
  
"Don't be so selfish, we weren't talking about you" I said, and Legolas eyes stopped on mines, and for a while, all the doubts came again.. what was happening to me? I saw Haldir stopping, and looking around. He put his bag in the ground, next to the river.  
  
"I suggest having lunch now.. and taking a bath in the river.." He looked at us saying those words, and I felt offended.. I had the magical gel and shampoo from elves, but I realised that the effects probably were gone. I smiled, but Haldir didn't. he just sat down with a strange expression on his face.  
  
"Bath? Are you crazy? Water is cold! Temperature is cold! Do you want to kill me?" Gimli complained in loud voice, choosing his place under a tree.  
  
"I won't take a bath unless I'll be alone, boys" I said, looking around, searching for a hidden place.  
  
"No, you can't go too far away" Legolas said, with a worried face.  
  
"And you want to keep a close watch on me, of course" I said, joking, but it seemed I had made a mistake because I saw Haldir's freezing gaze.  
  
"No, but I think you shouldn't go too far away, Zana" Legolas replied, with a smile.  
  
"I know what you wanted to say, I was just joking.." I said the last words looking at Haldir. We all sat down, in silence.. Fern sighed and took something from his bag. A cd player.  
  
"Oh, my god, it's so nice to see something from Earth here!" I shouted, and walked towards him. He smiled.  
  
"I know.. this is the only thing that comforts me.. I'm really looking forward to come back"  
  
"And you think you'll manage to do it some day? I mean, that you'll find the way to leave Middle Earth? What if you can't ? " Gimli said, and I realised that this was the question I had kept in mind for the past time.  
  
"If there was a door to come , sure there's a door to leave" Fern looked so sure and optimistic, and he smiled again at me. "Do you want to listen to some music?" I saw Legolas approaching us, with a curious gaze.  
  
"Can I check it? How does this work?" The elf kneeled beside me and fern gave us the machine.. I put one of the headphones in his pointy ear, and the other one in mine, and soon a song was playing. Legolas eyes widened, and looked at me. "I hear music! Strange music, like in the dance in Mirkwood!"  
  
"You can keep it for a while" Fern said, leaving us alone. He sat with Haldir, who was as surprised as I was, and they started a conversation.. from time to time the elf watched at me.. I felt bad with that big mood change.. he was acting in a strange way.. as if he carried with him a big secret.. I tried to avoid his gaze, and a nice song filled my ears. I never liked Mariah Carey, but that song was nice.. Bringing on the heartbreak.. "Your flame slowly fading" it said.. "burning out and burning me.." Legolas looked at me. "Can't you see, just trying to say to you, you're bringing on the heartache, taking all the best of me.." Why that song, in that moment? With his blue eyes so close? I looked at the rest of the group, they were watching in another direction.. and I felt Legolas hand taking mine. My heart almost stopped. He smiled and then, removed the headphone from his ear and joined them. And I took the chance to take a bath, alone, behind some trees.. 


	33. La luna

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ******************  
  
Hello again, with another fast chapter : ) I still didn't check if I got reviews from the previous ones, I was too fast so now I'll see what you wrote : ) So, first comment.. I know that this seems to go nowhere, but don't worry, it will start making sense soon : ) Remember that I want to write a very long fic, I can't write an end unless I'll have it in my real life : ) Because somehow, this follows what is happening to me.. so maybe I will need a lot of time to decide what do I do with Zana and the rest of people : ) Thanks in advance for all your reviews!  
  
************** **************** *************** *****************  
  
I remember when I met you  
  
All the stars were hanging in mid-air  
  
In these moments - nothing mattered  
  
But the way you caught me in your stare  
  
We were walking - we were talking  
  
We were laughing about the state of our lives  
  
How our fates brought us together  
  
As the moon was rising in your eyes  
  
On and on the night was falling  
  
Deep down inside us  
  
On and on a light was shining right through  
  
The night that we fell under the spell of the moon  
  
The light that will being me back to you  
  
- La luna - Belinda Carlisle  
  
After the bath we had lunch, in silence, under the sun. I sat with Haldir, who looked sad. Although I asked him what was wrong, I didn't get an answer. He just ate his food and kept his gaze in the distance. Legolas and Fern had started a conversation I was listening to, and I couldn't help feeling so grateful to Legolas for the way he was acting, making my friend more comfortable.  
  
After one hour we decided to go on walking, before the dawn came. The path was a bit complicated because of the mud, and soon we would have difficulties to reach some stages of the land. The river was growing up, widening, the water came with more force and the deepness increased.  
  
"We won't be able to advance more unless we'll manage to skip the river.." Legolas said, stopping and looking back. "We're five, and the path is too narrow.. we don't have boats, and everything would be a lot easier if we sailed on the river instead of walking by it"  
  
"And how do you plan to get a boat?" Haldir asked with sarcasm, and Legolas shrugged.  
  
"We could build a raft with trunks from trees.." Gimli suggested, but the elves gave him a sceptical look. The dwarf complained in his own language.  
  
"It's not a too bad idea.. we have ropes, it could be possible.." I said, looking around myself. "We only have to cut some wood.."  
  
"With what? Our hands?" Haldir was acting a bit childish at that moment and I felt angry with him.  
  
"Ok, if you have a better idea.." I replied, looking at him.  
  
"What if we go on walking? We'll think of something later.." Fern had saved the situation, and we all followed his suggestion. I walked with Haldir, and tried to find out what was happening to him.  
  
"Haldir, something troubles you, I know.. but I can't understand why are you paying it with me.. with all of us.. it can't be so bad.." His face changed when he heard my words, as if I had said something completely wrong.  
  
"You can't understand anything. Zana.." He whispered.. I remembered that Galadriel had a last talk with him the day we left.. and I remembered that he was hiding something since then.. but now my curiosity was bigger and I needed to know what was that. "Don't ask anything else, please.. I need to think.." He said, and I wasn't able to speak any more. He looked at the ground, lost in his thoughts. I kept a distance from him, and placed myself near from Fern. Legolas and Gimli were advancing in front of us.  
  
"It's a big mistake, Zana" I looked at Fern, after those words that made me so confused.  
  
"What is a big mistake? "I asked, and he pointed at the elves. I shrugged. "What?"  
  
"You know that it's an impossible thing, they're inmortal.. you don't belong here.. you must return to your home.." His dark eyes looked in the distance. "Sooner or later you'll leave, this is just a dream" His words caused a big effect on me.. I realised that until now I never had thought about the consequences of loving an elf. I felt the tears in my eyes. Sure,it was an impossible love.  
  
"It seems you know a lot about me.." I commented, sharply, a bit angry with him, with everything. I felt his hand in my shoulder.  
  
"It's not my intention to make you feel bad.. I'm just showing you the reality.. you fell for them too soon, you've hardly been here for two weeks and you already feel that you belong to this world, but it's not true.. you're a human girl from 21rst century who belongs to the Earth.. like me.. and what we have to do now is find the way back home.." I looked at him, surprised.  
  
"No! I can't leave like this, I have to finish this mission, whatever it is!" He shook his head, taking a deep breath.  
  
"Forget about this world.. we can't know if it's real! Maybe we're just imagining it.. maybe it's a kind of parallel universe where they play with our minds, and they just show you what you want to see.. and live."  
  
"No, stop talking, this is stupid.. Middle Earth is real because I'm here! I have feelings, they have feelings.." I pointed at Haldir. "And he loves me.." But Fern went on talking.  
  
"You're not objective, it seems they built your wishes inside your head, you're living a dream, your dreams, right? Is this what you dreamt about, Zana? Meeting those elves? " I couldn't reply that question.. he was right.. that was my dream from Earth.. but.. no, some things had happened, some new things that weren't meant to happen.  
  
"Fern, I'm sure I'm not dreaming.. I never liked Haldir on Earth, I would have never loved him for sure! But he managed to make me fall in love with him, and this can't be part of a dream.. I used to dream about Legolas.. just this.. and the whole thing I'm living is something completely unexpected.. No, I'm sure I'm not dreaming so forget this idea"  
  
"It was just a theory. I can't explain our arrival here, so I'm just saying that we can't know what is real or not.. be careful , Zana.. remember that we can't get lost here. We must go home and this is our first priority"  
  
"No, this is your first priority, not mine. I won't move from here until I'll find out what the hell is going on" I was really angry by that time and Fern opted for shutting up. "And one more thing.. I was destined to come here, not you.. it's all your fault if you can't find the way back. I didn't force you to come. It's not my problem so please, don't try to convince me. Stay away from me if you plan to make me stop with this. " Haldir looked back, worried.  
  
"Is everything OK, Zana? " He asked, and he gave a killing look to Fern.  
  
"Yes, don't worry, I was just talking" I replied, walking next to him. Legolas also turned to see the human boy, this time with a suspicious gaze. I watched at him, absent minded. His blue eyes were cold, and caught me staring at him. A smile came to his face. A mysterious smile I couldn't decode.  
  
"I would like to talk to Galadriel.. I wonder if she ever knew what would happen.." Legolas voice was low, talking to Gimli. Haldir turned his head, listening to them.  
  
"Why do you want to talk to her?" He asked, a bit cold. Fern also walked faster to reach our position.  
  
"Galadriel? " He asked, with curiosity, and then looked at me. "You also met her?" I nodded, and he sighed. "This is amazing.. it's like being inside a movie.." The elves looked at him, Haldir with a suspicious gaze, Legolas with interest.  
  
"So you also know all of us.." He commented, and Fern smiled.  
  
"Who doesn't ? You're very popular on Earth"  
  
"This is something I'll never understand.." Haldir said to me, with half a smile. I smiled too, remembering some of the comments I heard about him from my friends.  
  
"And you say we look exactly like those .. men who played us? Because I don't like the idea of being on a portrait on a shelf, or in a commercial where hundreds of human girls were staring at me.." Legolas commented, with a scared look. I laughed, thinking of his popularity on Earth.  
  
"If you just knew how are things there.." I murmured, but Legolas heard me perfectly, and walked near from me.  
  
"Now explain me this, Zana.." He demanded with a serious look. I was still laughing.  
  
"You're very popular there indeed.. I think that almost all teenage girls around my world dream of you every day" He looked really scared.  
  
"I wish I'll never visit this world" I somehow felt bad with that remark, and I didn't know why.. as if he was refusing to be part of my life.. but, after all, why would I care? Once I left Middle earth, they wouldn't come with me.. those sad thoughts changed my mood at once.  
  
Haldir stopped walking and checked the path. It was to dangerous to go on walking in that direction. Gimli and Fern waited behind, while Legolas climbed a tree to check the distance.  
  
"Too much mud here, we shouldn't go on.." Haldir commented, with a worried look.  
  
"Things are not better here.." Legolas sighed, returning to firm land. "What do we do now?"  
  
"We can't go on unless we'll get a boat, I'm afraid.. " Haldir's face turned pale, and he kneeled to check the ground. "We've been walking the whole day, and maybe for nothing.. " He looked desperate. Gimli put his small hand on his shoulder.  
  
"We'll find a solution, I'm sure.." But his words didn't help too much. He looked at us, and shook his head, resigned.  
  
"Why don't we cross to the other side of the river? Maybe the path is better there.." I suggested, although the idea of jumping into that water wasn't too pleasant.. the force of the liquid was strong and I had doubts about my swimming abilities. Fern walked to the edge and looked inside the river.  
  
"It seems it's the only solution.." He commented, and Haldir stood up.  
  
"It's too dangerous, we can't fight the force of the running" He looked so tall when he was close to Fern.  
  
"But you said we have ropes, right? We'll tie them to the tree and we'll cross using them.. like in the army.." I looked at my friend and agreed with him.  
  
"Army? " The elves asked at the same time. But Legolas didn't wait for an answer.  
  
"Yes, I agree, this is the only solution" He took his bag and we all did the same. We tied the ropes and made a long one. Then, Gimli put it around the strong tree.  
  
"Now, someone has to cross first and tie it in the opposite side of the river.." I said, trying not to imagine who would be the first volunteer.. and I realised I had guessed well, because I froze when I heard Haldir's voice.  
  
"I'll do it" And he jumped into the water, without doubting.. he barely could resist the force. Looking at me, he took a deep breath and disappeared inside the blue liquid.  
  
"What is he doing? Diving is even more complicated!" Legolas shouted, scaring me.  
  
"Don't say that, Legolas! He'll manage to do it!" I tried to sound convinced, I was so worried, shaking.. seconds passed and nothing came to the surface. Tears came back to my eyes again, and I felt Legolas arm around my shoulders. We all waited, almost without hope, after what it seemed a century.  
  
"He's too late.." Gimli murmured, worried.  
  
"I'm a good swimmer, I'll go too" Fern said, taking his bag.  
  
"No, are you crazy? You don't even have a rope, you can't go too or else we'll also loose you!" I shouted at him, and he gave me a strange look. For a moment he didn't move, and then we finally heard Haldir's voice from the other side.  
  
"I'm here! " He climbed the edge of the river and reached the tree, tying the rope around it. He removed the wet hair from his face and shook his hand. "Come on, everything is OK here!" He smiled , looking at me, and I was so happy to see him again. Legolas put his hand on my waist, making me walk to the edge. Fern was the first who jumped into the water, and I followed him. I noticed that Legolas was holding me all time, and this made me feel more sure.  
  
"Don't worry, I won't let the river swallow you" He commented with a smile, and that encouraged me. I felt his breath in my neck, and Fern turned around.  
  
"Wrap your arms around me, Zana.. " I obeyed, and we four started the difficult process. .I felt the water like knifes in my legs.. the river pushed me with a huge force and it was painful. I noticed the big effort that my friends were making, and I worried about our lives. Gimli was shouting in his own language, but I would swear he was laughing too. That dwarf was amazing. Even in the worst situations, he managed to stay happy.  
  
" I swear that if I survive this situation I won't ever hide what I feel about anybody!" I couldn't help shouting, and I felt Legolas head very close to mine, and a soft laugh.  
  
"Are you aware of what you're saying? Because I'll remind you it in some seconds, when we'll reach the other side"  
  
"Stop talking or else you'll loose your forces!" Gimli complained. Fern was a good swimmer indeed, and we started to advance faster in that moment. Haldir was waiting for us, with a worried and scared expression on his face.  
  
"Come on, you're almost here!" He said, looking at me.  
  
"Remember what you swore" I heard Legolas voice over the noise of the water. He never gave up, he was impossible.  
  
"Don't be happy too fast, we won't survive this" I said, half joking, but Fern got mad at me.  
  
"Can you stop saying nonsense? We won't die here, not today!"  
  
"Come on, boy!" Gimli shouted. "You're almost there!"  
  
"Shut up, dwarf!! You're making me nervous!" I smiled, more calmed, when I saw Fern's hand holding on a rock. It was done and I couldn't believe that. He pushed himself out from the water, Haldir helping him. Then, I went outside, followed by Legolas and Gimli. We all fell in the ground, breathing strongly.  
  
"We did it.." I murmured, staring at the sky above us. Haldir sat down and wrapped me with his arms. I felt Legolas gaze on mine, with a smile.  
  
"Strange.." Haldir commented " Look at the moon" We all obeyed and I couldn't help leaving an exclamation. The moon was full again although it had been only two weeks ago, and that was impossible.. and the colour, it was blue, light blue.  
  
"This doesn't have a logical explanation.. it looks like ice.." I said, and my words caused an effect on my friends, because they all stared at me.  
  
"Like the Land of the Eternal Ice.." Gimli murmured.  
  
"This is a sign.." Legolas said, looking at the sky. "And it's not getting dark yet, but it can be seen perfectly.." Haldir stood up and walked some metres, checking the path. Legolas sat on his place, close to me. " It was also a sign the night I was with you in your balcony" He whispered, with a smile. " The moon is leading us, Zana. Remember what you promised" He also left me alone, lost in my thoughts.  
  
"I'm a bit lost, what are you talking about? " Said Fern, with a funny expression. I smiled.  
  
"Forget it" I laid down and closed my eyes, thinking. 


	34. The Fountain of Truth

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana *****************  
  
I'm sorry for the big delay! The last weekend I didn't come home, I had a birthday party of a friend at university and it was great! : ) Now I'm back to reality.. : ( But you'll get some chapters from me, I hope you didn't forget about me!  
  
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I want to live my feelings day by day  
  
I like to give emotions , in my way  
  
But I don't know if its the right day, for this word  
  
Now I see things I didn't see before  
  
I need an explanation, tell me more  
  
Why I am in love now? I don't know  
  
How can I live forever? I don't know  
  
Where can I find Heaven? I don't know  
  
What is going to happen? I don't know  
  
Why I am in love now? I don't know  
  
In my soul, In my soul...  
  
Haldir looked around himself, thinking.. the past week they had been crossing the Rivers and they seemed not to end. The humans were tired, the dwarf , impossible to bear. And Legolas.. his face had changed since the last time they took a break. He was paler than usual and his blue eyes were lost in the distance. Haldir approached him, worried, and put his hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Legolas, what's wrong? " Their eyes met and Haldir felt scared for the first time. The elf was shocked, so shocked that he almost couldn't speak.  
  
"The Rivers.. you know what happens if you cross them.." He looked behind, at Zana and Fern.  
  
"No, I don't know it.. please, tell me!" Some time passed before he replied.  
  
"There's a story about this place.. in the end of the land there's a small lake, with dark waters.. by the lake there's a fountain, carved in marble, covered with the nicest flowers you can find in Middle Earth.." He took a deep breath and Haldir felt his heart beating so fast. " Once we'll arrive there, we must cross the pool, but it's not that easy.. because each of us will have to make a question to another one.. a question about what is inside our heart.. a question we wish to know.. a secret we're afraid to share. If we lie, and if we step into the water, the lake will shallow us.. so we must be very careful selecting the question.. but they have to be very careful replying it.. if they don't speak with their heart, and if we don't ask with our heart.. we all will die.." Haldir shook his head.  
  
"I don't understand, are you telling me that I have to ask them something I want to know? But this is stupid, I can do it now!" He laughed, more calmed. But Legolas kept the serious gaze.  
  
"You didn't understand anything, Haldir.. it's not a simple question the one you must make.. you must ask the thing that most scares you, the thing you strongly wish to know.. will you be able to do it in front of all of us? And will you be ready to reply what they will ask you? What I will ask you?" Haldir checked his friend in silence. Thinking of his possible doubts, his wishes.. and he realised that it would be so difficult.  
  
"After it, things will change a lot between us.. " Haldir murmured, and Legolas nodded.  
  
"Because finally, we all will know what is inside our hearts.."  
  
"But we have to warn them about it" Haldir stopped and waited for Zana , Fern and Gimli, but Legolas took his arm.  
  
"Not yet.. wait a bit. Tonight, before sleeping, we'll talk about it" Haldir went on walking with Legolas, lost in his thoughts.  
  
------------- -------------- ---------------- ------------- ------------ ------ -------------------  
  
After climbing some rocks I felt more tired than ever before.. the landscape was turning into something boring, trees, more trees, rivers, more rivers.. they all were so quiet, worried.. and they made me worried too. I was loosing my energy, my illusion.. that journey was taking too long, and the past days had been terrible, I felt ignored by all of them.. the silence was killing me. Fern was pale and tired.. I was afraid that this was too much for him. His bright eyes were dark now, without life. Gimli was the last in the queue , his angry face even more angry. And I realised that we couldn't bear that situation for longer.  
  
At noon, when our stomachs were complaining and asking for food, we all sat around a fire. It was colder, in the northern areas of Middle Earth. I put my bag on the ground and searched for some lembas. I wasn't too hungry, I was loosing weight, but I didn't care.. the past days I had been completely lost in my thoughts, and for once since I had finally felt comfortable around elves, I wished to come back home, come back to reality. I looked at Haldir, but he was ignoring me. I felt a pain inside me, a sad feeling invading my heart. Something had changed.  
  
"Today we'll only walk some more hours. we all are tired and we have to prepare for the end of this stage of journey" Legolas commented, looking at me. I somehow felt that I was the only one listening to him.. maybe I was dreaming and I heard his voice inside me.  
  
"What do you mean? Get ready for what?" Fern asked, with a sharp voice. They all looked at him. I noticed that Legolas was avoiding his gaze, and for once, Haldir looked at me.  
  
"Maybe we should tell them, Legolas.." The elf commented, and I felt scared.  
  
"What are you hiding to us?" I asked, worried. When I saw Legolas eyes I felt a pain in my stomach. Obviously, something terrible was waiting for us.  
  
"The Fountain of Truth.." He murmured, as if that explained everything.  
  
"And what is it, if we can know it?" Fern's voice was even sharper, he stood up and walked around us. Haldir gave him a freezing look.  
  
"Sit down and listen to us" Fern obeyed, and the elves stared at each other. Haldir nodded, and Legolas began to speak.  
  
"We'll have to pass a kind of big proof.. in short time we'll reach the end of the Rivers.. but this doesn't mean anything good.. what we'll find there will make us change.. our relationships, our situation.. each of us.. " He pointed at us " .. we'll have to make one question to another one.. but not a simple question.. it has to be something you strongly wish to know.. even if it's embarrassing, or shaming.. sure there's something inside your heads that you want to know.. that will be the right time to do it."  
  
"And what if we don't reply with the truth? What if we don't want to ask? " I said, nervous. Legolas looked at me sadly.  
  
"The water won't allow you to cross, and you won't be able to go on." We all kept silence, thinking.  
  
"What will the water do?" Fern asked, with a bit of fear.  
  
"After replying all the questions from the rest of us, the water will disappear, the lake will become dry, and you'll be able to cross it.. but if you didn't reply with the truth, if your heart didn't speak honestly.. just when you'll be in the middle of the path, when you won't be able to return, the lake will come back and swallow you" Haldir said, and he looked at me.  
  
"This is crazy.." I murmured, wondering why we suddenly had to pass that big proof. It wasn't fair, after all the things that had happened.  
  
"So.. now that you know this.. I suggest start making the four questions.. one for each of us.. obviously, we can't ask ourselves.. so Zana, prepare the questions for Haldir, Fern, Gimli and me.. I'll do the same for you, Fern, Haldir and Gimli.. and the thing goes on like this.." Legolas explained, and my head started to think again. "And remember that if the questions are not made with heart, and if the replies are not honest.. you can die"  
  
The next hours we walked in a complete silence. I was becoming crazy, knowing that all my questions would cause a terrible effect, that they would change all things between us.. if I had to follow my confused heart, then for sure I would make a mess. They didn't look better than me.. Haldir was mad at everybody, walking separated from us. Legolas kept his elegant attitude, but a worried look showed up in his eyes. And Gimli, the poor dwarf, was too lost to think of anything.. he complained saying that he didn't have any question for us, that all what he had inside his heart was what he showed every day.. and it was true.. he was the only one without secrets.. so he would have a difficult duty.  
  
It was getting dark when we saw a big cliff in the middle of the forest, made of black rocks. A kind of corridor in the base, under an arc, led us to the other side. And a magical light filled everything.. strange high trees, with the most amazing flowers I had ever seen, and a narrow path rounded by plants that seemed to be moving with our steps.. the smell of flowers, the blue lights, the sound of water.. I was charmed.. unable to speak. And we saw it. A small marble fountain with strange decoration carved on it.  
  
"I can't understand this language" Legolas commented, amazed, trying to read the phrase over the pipe. Haldir walked there and looked into the water. His face changed for a while, he became scared.  
  
"The water is alive, I can feel it.. it talks to me, but I don't know what it tells.." His whispers scared me, I started to shake, and I felt Fern's arm around my waist.  
  
"Don't be afraid, Zana.. we won't die here, I assure you it" I looked into his dark eyes and I saw a confident gaze. "We don't belong here, remember it.. and we can't die on a place where we don't belong to"  
  
"But I belong here.." I murmured, but he shook his head. Feeling angry, I walked apart from him. But I didn't find comfort on Haldir, he was ignoring me again.  
  
"Here there's the lake" Legolas moved some leafs and a big extension of dark water appeared. I felt so scared that I almost couldn't breath. He looked at me and smiled, calming me. "Nothing bad will happen if you're honest, Zana"  
  
"I will spoil everything with what I will ask, Legolas" I looked at Haldir, and this time he was staring at me.  
  
"This is something we all have to make." Gimli said, sitting on a rock and moving his hands. "Come on, my friends.. it's time to pass this horrible step of the journey" Suddenly the night became darker and the only light came out from the marble of the fountain ,as if it was a wonderful lamp from a palace. We all made a circle, facing each others. My heart was beating so fast, the elves looked at me.  
  
"I can't help it.." I shrugged. Legolas sighed.  
  
"So.. who will be the first one asking us?" We all looked at each others. "Gimli?" The dwarf jumped.  
  
"Why?" But when he saw Legolas gaze he obeyed. Looking at me, he smiled. "Very well.. Zana. This question goes for you.. I always wanted to know.. how come are you so tall?" We all made an exclamation, the dwarf wasn't serious at all.  
  
"Gimli! This is a serious thing!" Legolas shouted, but Gimli looked at him angry.  
  
"I'm serious, I always wanted to know this!" He looked at me, waiting for an answer. I was so happy that it was so simple.  
  
"I'm very similar to my grandfather and to my uncle, and they both are so tall, more than average" A silence came, and we heard a kind of sigh from somewhere. Gimli looked at Legolas.  
  
"Legolas..and Haldir.. this question goes for you both. What do you really think about dwarves?" An evil smile came to his face.  
  
"Are you kidding? You're my best friend!" Legolas said, angry.  
  
"I said "dwarves", not "Gimli" Legolas and Haldir looked at each other.  
  
"I don't like dwarves, but I like you" Haldir said, convinced.  
  
"I respect dwarves, but honestly, they're not my favourites, although you're my best friend" Legolas remarked. Gimli looked satisfied.  
  
"I knew it.." He murmured. And looked at Fern. "I don't know what to ask you.. I almost don't know you, but.. OK, I've always wanted to know how come you were so stupid that you followed this girl to an unknown world" Fern blushed and looked at the ground. Legolas and Haldir stared at him, and they made a face, as if Gimli had stolen them the question of the century. "Remember that you have to say the truth"  
  
"I know" Fern said, and took a deep breath. "I followed her because I had to do it.. I felt the need.. and I'm honest when I say that I don't know why.. I just had to do it.."  
  
"We believe you" Gimli said, and he sat down, taking a deep breath. "Now I feel very well" He commented with a smile. But now the worst part came. The next in the circle was Haldir.  
  
"Well.." He said, and looked at me. "Zana.. I think that Legolas also shares this question with me.. so I suggest him making it at the same time" He looked at the other elf, and he nodded. "Who of us do you really love?"  
  
"No, you can't ask me this!" I said, shaking.  
  
"If we don't ask you this, we'll die or you'll die, Zana" Said Legolas, looking in my eyes. I laughed, with a sad laugh.  
  
"But.. I can't reply it.. I mean.. " When I saw Haldir's eyes, full of pain, I realised that it was the first time I was admitting my confusion.  
  
"Zana.. who of us do you love?" Haldir repeated, with a sharp voice. "If you're not honest, you'll die" I froze with his words, and I realised I didn't have an answer for that, I was too confused.. so I would die, yes..  
  
"I'm too confused to reply, this is my honest answer. I can't be more honest, because my heart can't know it.." They both kept silence, shocked.  
  
"Zana, do you realise what are you saying? You're killing yourself.." Legolas ran out of words.  
  
"But it's my honest reply.. I can't do anything else.. I can't lie" They all looked at me. Haldir took a deep breath.  
  
"Ok, now my question goes to Legolas" He looked at the other elf. "Do you love Zana?" Legolas looked at me and nodded, without doubting.  
  
"I do" Haldir sighed, sadly.  
  
"I knew it" He murmured, and looked at Fern. "And what about you? Did you come here because you also love her?" Fern also looked at me.  
  
"I don't know if I love her.. but sure I like her"  
  
"This is unbelievable" Said Haldir, shaking his head. "What is this? A stupid game?"  
  
"Calm down, Haldir" Legolas put his hand on his shoulder.  
  
"And you, Gimli? You also love her?" Asked Haldir, with a sarcastic voice. The dwarf became so angry.  
  
"Of course not, evil elf! " A silence came, and a breeze.. Haldir had finished with his questions. It was Legolas turn, but he already had made me a question, so he looked at Fern.  
  
"Fern.. I want to know what do you plan to do.. I know that there's something strange with you, I know that you want to return to Earth.. and that you want to take Zana with you, even if she doesn't finish this mission.. you will spoil everything if you had the chance, right?" He gave the human a freezing look.  
  
"I can't lie, so.. yes, I want to take Zana with me to a safer place and forget about everything here. She belongs to my world and life must go on" Fern said, convinced. Haldir became mad.  
  
"You.. stupid human, you will destroy both worlds!" He jumped but Legolas stopped him.  
  
"He's being honest and this can save our lives, Haldir" Legolas said. Haldir calmed a bit. "Now, Haldir.. I want to know if you plan to stay with he forever.. even knowing that she will die sooner or later"  
  
"Yes, I want to be with her and I don't have doubts about it" I looked at him and couldn't help smiling. Legolas looked at Gimli, with an evil smile.  
  
"Gimli.. in the Helms Deep battle.. you lied to me, right? You killed less orcs than the ones you said you had done " Gimli's face turned into red, and he shouted.  
  
"Argh! Yes, I admit it, I thought we were friends!" That break made us laugh and I thanked Legolas that moment of optimism . He always knew how to make things better. He caught me staring at him and when our eyes met he smiled kindly. It was Fern's turn to ask.  
  
"Zana.. do you want to stay here forever?" His dark eyes on mines, and I was surprised when I saw that I had doubts!  
  
"Until now I wanted.. but now I'm not sure of anything.. and this is the honest truth.. I'm mortal and I don't want to be with them because I'll become old and they will stay young forever.. but at the same time, I don't want to leave and never see them again.. my life on Earth is not that good t owish to come back" I murmured, and I felt Fern's hand on mine.  
  
"We can make it better" He smiled, and then looked at Legolas and Haldir. "And you both? Are you aware that Zana must go back home?"  
  
"She doesn't have to return if she doesn't want" Legolas said, firmly.  
  
"I agree" Said Haldir. Fern looked at Gimli.  
  
"And you, Gimli.. will you help me to make Zana go back home, even if she didn't want?"  
  
"No" I was surprised with the fast answer.. I smiled and in that moment I loved Gimli more than ever, like a friend or a brother I never had. I felt all gazes on me, because it was my turn.. after me, we would cross the lake and who knows what would happen.  
  
"OK.. I don't know where to start.. and I'll be ashamed of myself.." I looked at Legolas. "When I was on Earth I dreamt about you every day.. once here I thought you ignored me, and I gave up with my dreams.. now I want to know if, since the day I arrived, I had a chance with you, if you felt something for me since the first moment we met" Legolas looked surprised.  
  
"I must admit that I felt something for you soon, yes.. but not since the first day, Zana.." Haldir looked happy, so I gave him the same question.  
  
"And you, Haldir?" He was shocked, and took a deep breath.  
  
"Maybe not since the first moment.. at first I was trying you, checking what kind of being you were.. please, don't be mad at me.. then I fell in love and you know that.."  
  
"It's OK, Haldir. You don't have to explain anything" I said, looking at Fern. "Why did you help me , on Earth, without saying anything?" He smiled, and shrugged.  
  
"I suppose I needed to know you, I don't know why.. I thought , when I first saw you, asking me that question in class, that it was a Destiny's sign.. I can't explain."  
  
"Well, Gimli, you're the last one.. and I don't know what to ask you, so.. well, would you be my friend forever?" He smiled and nodded firmly.  
  
"Forever". We all looked at each others. It was time to cross the lake. And suddenly the fountain shone with a brighter light, and the water rose the edges of the marble.  
  
"We must drink from it" Legolas said, and we all did it. I felt a kind of warm sensation inside me, and without thinking, I began to walk. The lake had disappeared, the other side looked so far away, but I walked and walked, forgetting abut everything.. I didn't hear the voices of my friends, I didn't hear anything.. just peace.. I was so happy, calmed and confident, as if someone was leading me.. I smiled, my legs weren't tired any more.. and after short time I reached the edge, I put my feet on the grass and sighed. I had crossed it, the Rivers had ended. But my smile disappeared when I heard the strong noise of water behind me, someone had been caught. And I couldn't know who. I fainted. 


	35. The loss

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ****************  
  
I got the review number 200, thank you very much! : ) It's so nice to see that I'm not alone with this story! I wish I had more time to write, but I'm a busy person, and last weekend was too stressing : ) It will inspire some of my next chapters for sure : ) And like I always say, I would like to reply you all in person, and one day I'll do it, ok? I think that when I'll finish this story I'll miss you all a lot!  
  
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Mothers weep, children sleep  
  
So much violence ends in silence  
  
It's a shame there's no one to blame  
  
For all the pain that life brings  
  
If you will just take me It might just complete me  
  
And together we can make a stand  
  
Stand - Jewel  
  
Legolas opened his eyes.. what had just happened? Looking around, there was darkness. Something had beaten on his head, and he felt a strong pain. And something more.. emptiness. When he was finally able to move and stand up, when he was finally able to see the stars, the moon and the trees under their light, he realised that he suffered a big loss.. inside him. He tried to remember, and he remembered, yes.. he had feelings towards the human girl.. but now they were gone.. as if he had lost his memory, his mind, his body.. they didn't reply to the emotions.. he was the same Legolas, but the Legolas before Zana had arrived.  
  
Haldir looked at him, shocked. Also empty. Walking towards the elf, trying to look for the rest of friends, he felt the loss too. His blue eyes narrowed, he put his hands over his chest, and waited.. nothing. He wasn't sat at all.. simply, he was the Haldir he had always been.  
  
"I feel it too, Haldir" Said Legolas, looking at his worried friend. "I don't know what happened some moments ago, but I'm afraid it erased all my feelings towards her.. I can't believe it.."  
  
"Where are them?" Haldir turned around, and saw nothing. "Did they pass? Legolas, have you seen them?" Legolas shook his head, shocked.  
  
"The water from the fountain.. where did it come from? " Legolas whispered, sitting on a rock. "It's like paying a price in return.. the lake allowed us to pass.. but he got something from us.. why?" Haldir looked in the distance, his eyes full of.. tears? Was that possible?  
  
"We must find them, whatever happened before, we can't stop here.. Zana will feel shocked, sad.. we must pretend that nothing happened. "  
  
"No,Haldir.. I can't pretend that I love her if I don't.." Legolas sighed.  
  
"Me neither" His low voice full of sadness. Then he heard a noise.. some voices in the distance. Walking towards the trees, he listened. "She's alive.. she's speaking to Gimli!" Legolas joined him, with a look of hope in his eyes.  
  
"Lets go there"  
  
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I had fainted, how was that possible? My forehead was bleeding a bit.. nothing important, I supposed. But I felt dizzy anyway.. I only remembered the water coming behind me.. and suddenly I felt froze. Someone had been caught, but.. who? I tried to stand up and saw Fern and Gimli. I fell on my knees, crying. Legolas and Haldir had been caught. How could that happen?  
  
"Don't cry, Zana.. I'm sure they're OK and that we'll find them.." Gimli came to comfort me, doubting, but finally he hugged me. "You'll see how things get solved, just wait. Legolas survived worst situations, as well as Haldir.."  
  
"Haldir died once, Gimli" I said, shaking. Then I looked on my left, and saw Fern waking up. He watched at us and saw my tears, understanding everything.  
  
"Maybe it's better like this, Zana" He said, sitting down.  
  
"How can you say so? Are you crazy?" I shouted, and Gimli gave him a killing look. Then , my human friend put a face. "What's wrong?" I asked, watching him.  
  
"I feel.. different.. strange.. as if I had lost something inside me.. " He touched his chest, confused. I looked at Gimli, and he shrugged. "Yes, Zana.. I don't feel anything.. I don't feel any kind of feeling towards you.. neither friendship.. it's as if you were completely unknown for me.. I can't understand it.. because I remember you, all the things we lived together.but I don't keep any kind of feeling from them.. "  
  
"Don't scare me, Fern.." I said, but I realised that he was serious about that.. what if something had happened when they crossed the lake? But.. why did I still keep all my love for the elves?  
  
"Obviously the lake did something to you.. and I'm glad it did. Now you won't act stupidly any more" murmured Gimli, taking his bag from the ground. "I was tired of your attitude, human. I will take Zana with me, I will take Zana with me.." The dwarf was imitating his voice, and Fern looked at him angrily.  
  
"Stop arguing, please" I said, standing up. "We have to find Legolas and Haldir"  
  
"It's not necessary" I heard Haldir's voice and my heart started beating so fast. I ran and hugged him, and I was surprised with his reaction. He separated from me, gently. When I looked into his eyes I saw nothing. He looked at the ground, avoiding my gaze. Then Legolas showed up, and I observed the same attitude on him.  
  
"What's wrong? What happened?" My voice was shaking, and when the two elves stared at each other I felt pain in my heart. "You also forgot everything.." My voice was just a whisper, but they heard it, nodding.  
  
"I'm sorry" Haldir apologised, as if it was so easy.  
  
"We don't know what happened, Zana.. but we all suffered the same effect.. except Gimli, it seems.." Legolas was trying to explain, he really looked ashamed. All the wonderful things I had lived with them. All the past days, all the confessions.. and it was for nothing.. I was in love, or this I thought, with them, or one of them.. but it was useless.. I was indifferent for them.. everything was lost.. now I really wanted to go back home. I didn't have anything to do there. I took my bag.  
  
"Lets go on walking. I want to arrive in the Land of Eternal Ice, find out what happened there, and then go back to Earth, and forget that you ever existed" I felt my eyes full of tears, so I started walking, avoiding their gazes. Nobody came to comfort me. I was alone again.  
  
-------------- -------------------- --------------------- --------------- ----- --------------------  
  
Haldir was walking behind Legolas, the last in the queue. He was trying to recuperate some of the feelings, but it was impossible. He thought that if once he had them, sure he would be able to fall in love again.. but this time things were different and he couldn't explain why. This time he didn't feel the first sparkle, as they usually said.. when he looked at her, he felt nothing. When she arrived in Mirkwood, he felt fire since the beginning. His blue eyes looked at the sky, and he sighed, wishing that Galadriel was there to give him some advises.  
  
Legolas looked back, to check Haldir's expression. Then his gaze went to Zana's place. She was so pale, so tired. The last hours she had been in silence. and he was an elf who always needed to comfort people, but he knew that it wouldn't be a good idea, so he was making a great effort, trying to ignore her. He didn't understand why they couldn't be just friends.. but he understood that by the moment, it wouldn't be possible. She kept strong feelings for them, also for him.. he wondered how was it possible that, once, he had felt the love, the love for a mortal.. he said to himself that it was impossible, that he could never feel it again. Not Legolas of Mirkwood.  
  
A voice came inside Haldir's head. A known voice. Galadriel was speaking to him. He smiled, and concentrated. He needed her help more than ever before.  
  
"Haldir.. nothing is lost.. you shouldn't have drunk from the Fountain of Truth.. it's a magical place that still keeps some evil forces.. keep the faith.. everything will be the same when Zana will be ready.. when she will make clear what is inside her heart, the one of you who she will select, will start feeling again. Be patient, Haldir.. it can be you, or it can be Legolas.. and when this will happen, there won't be more confusion. She will make her choice."  
  
---------------------- -------------------- -------------------- -------- ------------- - -----------  
  
The cold wind was stronger there. Trees were disappearing, and there weren't more rivers any more. Only a flat land without vegetation, just grass and rocks. In the distance, I saw known birds.. but it was impossible.. they were seagulls! Then it meant that we reached the sea! I ran towards the edge of a cliff, and looked in the distance. Gimli came with me.  
  
"It's amazing.. the Sea.." he murmured, watching the blue surface, very far away. "We'll arrive there in two or three days.."  
  
"But.. if this is the end.. how we'll arrive in the Land of Eternal Ice? " I asked, worried.  
  
"A ship will be waiting for us" Said Legolas, while his blue eye scanned the water. He had a wonderful sight. "Yes, a big ship with the flag of Lorien.. your people were fast, Haldir" Legolas smiled, and Haldir nodded.  
  
"This was an action from Gandalf, Legolas.. nobody could have arrived here sooner than us. This ship was placed there with magic" We all stared in the distance, although I wasn't able to see anything, neither Gimli and Fern.  
  
"We'll have to sail.." I murmured, hypnotised, thinking of all the dangers of the sea. I didn't know the creatures that lived in those waters.. I didn't know how to make a ship move.. I didn't know anything..  
  
"You're lucky that I own a small yacht and I can help you with this" We all looked at Fern, who smiled proudly.  
  
"I see that you were the typical rich boy from the city" My voice sounded a bit sarcastic, and he looked offended, but didn't reply anything.  
  
"In two days, our lives will change a lot.." Haldir looked at me, while he was saying this. I was confused with his gaze, as if he was expecting something, but I didn't know why. And I felt like the first time we had met in the halls in Mirkwood.. I felt small and shy. Then I looked at Legolas, and suddenly I felt the same I had been feeling on Earth when I thought about him.. suddenly I saw something clear inside my heart, and when I thought that once I had the chance to be with him, and I had refused it.. I felt so bad. My feelings grew up watching at that elf, and his expression changed. He caught my look, and frowned, confused. Then he took a deep breath and looked around.  
  
"What's happening..?" He murmured, and I saw Haldir's face, shocked. Yes, I liked Legolas more than ever. And he looked at me again, and suddenly smiled. Strange. I couldn't understand anything, so I turned around again, avoiding their gazes.  
  
"Zana, talk to me" I heard Haldir's voice behind me. He looked serious and .. brave? " Stop thinking what you're thinking.. you have to be strong, ok?"  
  
"I don't understand what do you mean, Haldir.. "I said, blushing. Suddenly he nodded.  
  
"Yes, you're right.. for a while I had the need to say this, but.. now.. I don't care.." He smiled to himself, and shook his head. "Yes,it was a kind of flashback.. but now I don't need it again.. it's strange.." When he turned around I felt sad again. It was horrible to see how they were ignoring me.. how things were going on.. it was too much for me. I remembered the night of the dance, when Haldir tried to kiss me, and Gimli showed up, spoiling the moment. I smiled with the memory, and also with the memory of our first kiss.. yes, that time when he finally gave the first step.. I blushed when Haldir turned around to see me, with the same look as Legolas.. a confused look. What was happening there?  
  
We went on walking for some hours, in silence again. My heart was jumping from Legolas to Haldir, and from Haldir to Legolas, and whenever this happened, each of them looked at me.. as if with my memories I activated their minds.. and I felt something warm in my hand.. the ring of Haldir was shining.. with a soft light.. I watched at it, amazed.. it gave me strength, forces to go on.. and I heard Galadriel's voice. "The time is almost over, Zana.. soon you'll have to take very important decisions.. you must get ready and let your heart free.. he knows what is better for you." Once the voice disappeared, the light went away too. I had a feeling of hope after her words, as if there was still a chance for everything. But I didn't know how to make those chances appear.. maybe I would only have to wait.. or maybe I would only have to act.. no one could tell me. I looked at the ring once more, remembering the day that Haldir had given me it. My heart started beating fast, and I saw Haldir stopping and waiting for me. I blushed.  
  
"Are you feeling ok, Zana?" He asked, gently, and I nodded. I felt so shy again. He smiled and went on walking. Everything was like at the beginning. a confusing beginning. 


	36. Where are we?

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ********* ****************** *********  
  
Hi everybody again! A few more days of classes and then holidays! I'll be away, travelling to Slovenia, in two weeks, so you won't read from me until January, but I'll try to write some chapters before leaving.  
  
I decided to put new things in this story, and I hope you'll like the changes.. well, there will be some mixes from both worlds and I thought it could be interesting.. you'll tell me! : ) Again, thank you for being "here"!  
  
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Hey, you can be so unfair  
  
And you know I will remember  
  
You said you'd always be there  
  
When you go  
  
Hey, I wanted you to know  
  
I wish you were mine  
  
And I, I just wanted you to know  
  
I had a good time  
  
Ooh I, I had a really good time  
  
I had a good time - Boston  
  
We camped under the moonlight, around a small fire. The sky above us was starry, and I laid down to watch at it. My friends were already sleeping, so I had peace, silence.. only the sound of the night, the owls and crickets. That reminded me of one of my first nights in Mirkwood, and I felt a nostalgic pain in my chest. His ring was still in my hand, and I touched it. I couldn't believe that things had ended like this. I wished I had never come there.  
  
"Be careful with what you wish for.."  
  
What was that? I had heard a voice.. I sat down, scared. Looking around, the elves sleeping, the dwarf snoring, and Fern deeply asleep. Maybe my imagination had played a trick on me.  
  
"Are you ready for choosing the destiny of your world? For travelling through time?"  
  
This time I stood up, my heart beating so fast that I thought it would break my body in two parts. I was hardly breathing, shaking. I walked towards Haldir and Legolas to wake them up, but as soon as I had advanced two steps, I saw a shape in the darkness, and I paralysed. There was a man in the forest. A very tall man, who was moving his hand, calling me. But I didn't move.  
  
"Maybe you're not ready yet, you're too scared.. don't be afraid of me, you know me well.. because we're not in Middle Earth any more.."  
  
"What?" I asked, talking for the first time, and I heard him smiling.  
  
"So you're alive!" He laughed again. "Come here, Zana. This place is not safe for you"  
  
"I won't leave my friends here.. why don't you join us and introduce yourself?" I said, sharply, but he stayed in that hidden place.  
  
"I don't need an introduction .. not for Fern and you.." He was talking in a mysterious way, and I was getting angry by then.  
  
"And how come Haldir, Legolas and Gimli can't know you?" I was acting sarcastic.. like Haldir. I looked at him with the hope that he was awake.. but he wasn't.. that surprised me.. after all, it seemed that the elves, who always were in alert, didn't wake up with our voices.. that was scary. And the man moved.  
  
"I told you that we're not in Middle Earth any more.."  
  
"Are you kidding? Why, then, the elves and the dwarf are here with me?" I almost shouted, on purpose.  
  
"They won't wake up unless you'll come here.. they travelled to our world now, Zana.. we're on Earth" Those words made me shocked. If we were on Earth.. why was that place exactly the same as the night before? I looked at the man and shook my head.  
  
"I don't believe you. Nothing changed since yesterday" His light laugh came again.  
  
"This is because since you passed the Fountain of Truth, you were sent back to Earth, Zana" I looked at the sky, at my friends.. at the landscape.. I remembered the ship that Legolas saw. And I was more and more confused. "Your mission, Zana.. began on Middle Earth.. it continues now here.. and then.. the end will take place where you'll decide with your actions"  
  
"But who are you then? And if you don't mean any harm to me.. why don't you come here and show yourself?" I replied, placing myself behind the fire. He sighed.  
  
"You're impossible, I see.. Ok then.. " I kept my breath.. ready for anything. But what I saw didn't give me any kind of information. I couldn't recognise that young man, dressed in old clothes.. very old clothes. Strange.. who was him? On which century did we land? I checked him again.. he was wearing dark green trousers, a kind of long shirt, white.. a belt around his waist and a cloak. And he was handsome indeed.. taller than me, with deep eyes and an intelligent smile. "What's wrong, Zana? You don't know where are you? You don't know who am I? He looked surprised, and I shook my head. In that moment I noticed that Haldir had moved on his sleeping bag, his breath had changed.. he was awake, pretending to sleep. I felt safer and I caught his gaze, a warning gaze.  
  
"No, I don't know who are you.. I was born on 20th century and obviously you don't belong to that time.."  
  
"I know when you were born, and I know why are you here, Zana" he was loosing his patience, and I became nervous. "We're on a different stage of your mission.. from now on you'll have to visit many places, many people.. "  
  
"What about the Land of Eternal Ice? Why can't we go directly there and finally solve this?" I asked, impatiently.  
  
"Because you can't arrive in that place so easily.. you have to find it.. "  
  
"This is stupid..we already have the ship, and.."  
  
"Which ship?" He laughed, looking in the distance, at the cliffs..  
  
"You're joking, right?" I asked, murmuring, amazed. He became serious and his brown eyes checked me.  
  
"You're not wearing the proper clothes for a Lady.."  
  
"A Lady? Where are we?" I asked, and I moved my leg, beating on Haldir's one, but he didn't stop pretending.. I needed them, I needed them to help me, but he was ignoring me. But..why? Soon, I knew the answer. I didn't know when, I didn't know how.. but Legolas was behind the mysterious man, holding his bow, an arrow pointing at the neck of the stranger.  
  
"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Legolas voice sounded so strong, and self-confident. By then, Haldir stood up, and joined him. Finally the two elves had reacted. But the man didn't seem to be scared.  
  
"It seems I'll have to repeat the whole explanation again.." He said, with a sarcastic voice. I was amazed.. who was that brave man?  
  
"Just tell your name and how come do you know about us and about our home.. and how come we're now on Earth.. and why not in Zana's century" Haldir asked, facing him, and Legolas relaxed a bit, leaving his bow near from his sleeping bag. "We heard the whole explanation, so you don't have to repeat anything. We knew that the Fountain of the Truth had a magical power we ignored.. but we want to know where did you get all the information from." I also looked at the young man, waiting for an answer. He smiled kindly.  
  
"Lets say that Zana will have some guides during her journey.. and I'm the first one. You all will be travelling through time and important people will lead her to the Land of Eternal Ice.. but it won't be easy. My mission here is to tell you all that in two days you'll end up in another century, that some stages will be harder, some will be easier.. fortunately for all of you, mine is one of the bests. You'll be my guests in my castle until you'll decide to leave.." In that moment I wished I had studied more history during my life. Maybe I would meet some of the most famous persons and I would almost know nothing about them! And who was that nice man who owned a castle?  
  
"Will you finally tell us who are you? And why you're not scared of two elves, if you didn't see any of their kind in your whole life? I asked, surprised.  
  
"I've lived close to magic, believe me" He smiled, and looked in the distance. He had an attractive face that forced people to stare at him.. a kind of leading power.. yes, he could be a.. he interrupted my thoughts. "My best friend is a magician.. one of the wisest men on Earth.. and I'm surprised you don't know about our story.."  
  
"There's no magic on Earth" I said, firmly.  
  
"You don't know how wrong you are.. my friend showed you to me since I was named.." He stopped talking, thinking for a while. I couldn't bear the mystery any more.  
  
"Come on, man.. speak" Haldir ordered, but the man didn't move or change his expression. He just looked at me, took my hand and kissed it gently.  
  
"I'm the King Arthur, and my friend Merlin knows how to help you all".  
  
-------- ----------------- ---------------- ------------------ -------- ------------ -------------  
  
Haldir looked at Zana, afraid that she would faint again.. the words of that man had made a huge effect on her.. as if he was a famous person in their world. She looked so shocked that he couldn't help feeling a bit jealous.. at first he couldn't recognise that feeling, but he remembered it from another time, not a distant one. Legolas checked both of them, and gave him a worried look.  
  
"Haldir, do you think it will be safe to join this man?" His blue eyes looked at the King again, trying to see inside him. The two elves were confused with his behaviour.. he was familiarised with magic, it was obvious.. and somehow he knew that they wouldn't hurt him.  
  
"This is Zana's mission.. we must give this step. We're in their world and we don't know anything about it" Haldir looked at Gimli, who was waking up. The dwarf opened his eyes and when he saw the man, he jumped.  
  
"Who are you?" He shouted, but Legolas put his hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Calm down.. we've been walking on Earth since we crossed the Fountain of Truth.." The dwarf laughed.  
  
"Are you crazy? This is stupid!" But when he checked their faces, he had to start to believe all of them. "By all the mines of Moria! Earth! "  
  
"Hello, King Arthur" They all couldn't be more surprised. Fern knew about the man's presence since always. Haldir and Legolas felt a kind of anger towards him.  
  
"I knew we shouldn't have trusted you.." Haldir gave a step but Legolas stopped him. The King greeted Fern and smiled.  
  
"Thanks for bringing the girl here. Now things will be easier. Merlin and Galadriel were talking last night, and everything is ready" Haldir's face became red.  
  
"Galadriel? She knew about this?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Also Legolas was shocked, speechless.. they felt betrayed.  
  
"There are many things that you all don't know, because if you did, believe me that you wouldn't have followed the path that destiny prepared for you" The words of the King made sense, but Haldir felt even worse.. Galadriel, one of his kind.. she always had trusted him more than anybody else.. but she had made an agreement with a strange human from another time.. how could she had done that? He felt Zana's hand on his arm , and a strange warm feeling invaded him. Something he could also remember from a not too distant time. He couldn't help smiling, and she blushed. His hear beated a bit faster. And for a while, he had the need to hug her, but it disappeared in some seconds. Strange.  
  
"So.. will you all walk with me to my castle? You need to eat decent food.." The King looked at the pieces of lembas with a face of disgust. The group packed their things, and slowly, followed the King Arthur.  
  
--------------------- -------------------- ---------------------- ------- -------------------------  
  
The castle appeared over a high hill.. hundreds of fire lamps showed it with a mysterious light.. the sun was already rising, and the view was so amazing that we all stopped to watch it calmly. I couldn't believe I was in the kingdom of king Arthur.. he had always been a legend , nobody knew the exact story about him.. and maybe I would be able to find it out.. for a while I was sorry for not being able to stay there more time.. I had almost forgotten about my own mission and I had to be strong and accept that the wonderful events that were taking place would only last some hours.. I wondered what would millions of people on Earth say if they knew I had visited another time, another century.. that I was about to discover the reality about the mythical King Arthur.  
  
We crossed under an arc, and many soldiers came running towards us, with scared faces. Arthur calmed them, and he turned around to meet us again.  
  
"Two of my soldiers will show you the rooms.. you must take a bath and change your clothes.." He looked at me with a strange face. "I bet there's a real lady under this male's cloth" I couldn't help blushing under the gaze of all the group. Then , finally, the king looked at the elves. "You all will go to the Southern Tower. She's a girl, she can't share the same space as you all.. I see you have confused gazes.. but you must know that Earth is not Middle Earth.. a lady can be in danger if you leave her alone in a place full of.. rude men.. and in my palace people are noble.. but I can't promise anything about servants"  
  
"Then I'll go with her" I was surprised to hear Haldir's voice. The soldier started whispering between themselves, as if they were shocked.  
  
"You're scandalising my people" The king smiled. "Unless you both are married.. and I doubt it.. you can't go with her"  
  
"Then nobody will sleep in the castle" Said Legolas, advancing two steps, and all the soldiers replied to his action, moving on his direction. They stopped when Arthur lifted his hand.  
  
"I understand that you all are worried about her.. but she knows about me.. and Fern also knows.. I'm a King, I'm a Knight of the Round Table.. I promise to take care of her, as well as all my Knights. " Somehow, the elves believed him. I felt a bit unprotected when we separated. Although I knew we would meet in one hour to have breakfast. I felt a hand in my arm, and looked behind. One of the Arthur's Knights was smiling gently, and introduced himself.  
  
"I'm Lancelot, member of the Round Table" I looked at him, shocked. "Are you feeling right?" He asked, worried, and I nodded, speechless. That was too much for me. We walked towards one of the towers, and he led me through the halls, stopping in front of a strong wooden door. "Here you'll find what you need.. in some minutes a servant will bring you clothes. You're not talking but I must suppose that you feel well?" I blushed under his sarcastic gaze.. what was happening to me? As if I was falling in love with all the known historic people I was meeting. I was in front of Lancelot himself, he was good-looking indeed, and he had the nicest green eyes I had ever seen before. With light brown hair and a strong body under his blue uniform. And I remembered that he belonged to Geneva .. or this the story said.  
  
"So what about Geneva?" He looked confused with my question, and I realised that I was giving information about the future, and that maybe some events still didn't happen.  
  
"Who is her?" He asked, so confused that I felt guilty.  
  
"Forget it, I'm a bit shocked and I'm mixing worlds.." He smiled, and nodded.  
  
"Don't worry, I understand it.. anyway, I promised to protect you.. so I'll come here in one hour and I'll lead you to the dinning room" He disappeared and I thought that it would be ironic if he fell in love with me, changing the whole history. No, it wouldn't be funny. I should stay away from all of them so that I would make sure that history would go on.. on its way. but.. my mission was to change the future of Earth, so.. I was starting to understand.. I would have to change something from the past to make future different, but.. what?  
  
I came in the room. It was small and simple, but it was more than enough for me. I opened the windows and went out to the balcony. I felt like Juliet waiting for her Romeo.. and I blushed when I realised that Haldir was standing in the gardens. He seemed to be looking for me. But I didn't speak.. I liked watching at him when he didn't realise. I smiled, remembering all our moments together. Suddenly, his blue eyes found mines and he walked towards me. There were 3 or 4 metres of distance from my place to the ground, but he climbed on a tree so easily that I couldn't help thinking that he was exactly like a cat.  
  
"I have permission to visit you.." He lied, with bright eyes. "Those soldiers are not like my soldiers.. humans have mistakes, they even didn't notice that I was leaving from the tower" He looked at me, slowly. "You should really take a bath.." There was sarcasm on his voice.. the usual Haldir, I thought.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I tried to sound sharp, wishing more than ever, that he remembered his feelings towards me. I knew it was impossible, and I felt very sad.  
  
"What's wrong, Zana?" He asked, worried, and jumped from the tree to my balcony. He was so close to me that I felt my knees shaking. I liked him more than I could have imagined, and all I wished was to kiss him.. but I knew that he wouldn't kiss me back. I knew that he wouldn't feel the same and I missed all the moments we shared in Mirkwood. He was standing too close to me. The balcony was too small for two persons. I felt his hand on my face. "I would like to remember, Zana..we had a really good time.. but I can't" He whispered, and I felt tears in my eyes.  
  
"Please, leave me alone" I said and, slowly, he walked to the door of my room, looking at me once more.  
  
"Believe me that it's hard for me, Zana. wanting to love you and not being able.. but please, give me time" I looked at him, serious.  
  
"Time is the only thing we don't have, Haldir" 


	37. The Glastonbury Tor

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ************ ***************  
  
I wrote this so fast, as if ideas came to my head all from the sudden, so I hope I didn't make it too confusing.. when I'll finish this story, I'll let one of you fix all my grammar mistakes, as she asked in a review : ) Thanks for everything! And you all know that I love confusion! : )  
  
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I found myself on the roof of the world  
  
Just waiting for to get my wings  
  
Strange angel in the changing light  
  
Said "brother, you forgot something!"  
  
My heart beat from the inside out  
  
So lucky just to be alive!  
  
Can you tell what I'm talking about?  
  
Any day now the sun's gonna rise  
  
There is a green hill far away  
  
I'm going back there one fine day  
  
The Glastonbury song - Waterboys  
  
The legend says that nobody knows where is placed the castle of King Arthur.. that nobody knows the exact story about him and his relatives.. he belongs more to a myth than to history. And I was there, inside his home, and without knowing where I was. I wished I had a map or a camera, so that when I returned home I would check somewhere. Return home.. but did I really want to go back?  
  
I looked in the distance, leaning against the balcony. And I realised we were on an island, in front of main land. Strange.. I didn't know too many islands in England.. but that was a clue.. Arthur had his castle on a hill, in an island, and the circle was smaller now.  
  
I felt strange with that long dress, in dark blue. I got used to the elvish clothes, I got used to forget about my appearance.. but after taking a bath and dressing up, somehow I remembered the day of the dance in Mirkwood. Many memories, sad and happy at the same time. The sun was high now, I saw the blue water, with the small waves breaking against the cliff. I was in England, in the England of King Arthur.  
  
A knock on my door woke me up from my dreams, and I came in the room, walking fast. I opened and saw the smiling face of Lancelot.  
  
"Here I am, as I promised. Come with me, during breakfast many things will be spoken and you can't miss it. All your friends are on their way there" He offered me his arm and I took it.. I didn't know much about their traditions, but I tried to act like typical ladies in movies, hoping that it would be enough. As we walked in the halls, I looked at him. His face was so nice, with a brave look in his eyes, and a kind smile. He was very young, maybe like me. And he was almost as tall as Haldir and Legolas.  
  
"Where are we, Lancelot?" I asked, under his confused gaze. "I mean.. in which part of England?"  
  
"I'm surprised, Lady Zana. I thought that in the century where you come from you knew everything about us.." I didn't have time to explain him about the myth of Arthur, Lancelot and company, so I just shrugged.  
  
"History is not an exact science.." He was still confused, and then he led me to a window.  
  
"See that small green hill, a bit far away? The one with a kind of stone over it.. It's a magical place.. we're in Glastonbury." I opened my eyes, surprised.. of course I knew the location.. there was a legend about it.. Lancelot went on speaking. "It's no ordinary hill: people develop personal, profound relationships with it. This has been the case since time began. It's one of the world's prominent sacred sites. Visiting the Tor activates deep imagery, uplift and inner changes. Watch people trogging up the hill on a day out or seeking something. Then watch them coming down ..singing, chatting, looking bright, and changed.." His green eyes stared at the sky.  
  
"Why does the Tor have this effect? " I asked, with curiosity . But he didn't reply. He started walking again, in silence. I couldn't believe that I had already discovered the exact place where all those mythical people had lived.. Glastonbury.  
  
"This is the dinning room" He said, stopping in front of a huge door. "Come in and you'll find your friends. The King will spoke to you, and then things will go on.." His voice turned mysterious, and his warm eyes smiled. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Lady Zana" He took my hand and kissed it. "If you can't go back to your time.. please, come back here. You'll be welcomed. " He went on staring at me, but I shook my head.  
  
"You'll see how things go on.. and you won't wish me to come back" I left him there, standing, with a curious gaze. That was the last time I saw Lancelot. I was living wonderful times, having great chances of meeting those important people.. and I felt sorry for leaving so fast. I wished to live everything from each stage of History.. but I knew it was impossible.. this phase was ending, and I wondered where would we land the next time.  
  
---------- --------------- ----------------- ------------------ -------- ----------- -----------------  
  
Haldir and Legolas tied their hair hiding the pointy ears. Servants had been observing them too much.. after all, nobody knew about the existence of elves, except Merlin. They looked at each other and nodded. Now they looked like some of the King's soldiers, with blonde pony tails.  
  
"You look strange.." Gimli stared at them, with a face of disgust. "You look like girls.." His face suddenly turned into red, and a kind of low noise came from his chest.. he was laughing strongly, out loud. Legolas beated on his head, and the dwarf jumped in alert.  
  
"Don't beat me, girl!" His serious face changed again, and before Haldir could make anything, a soldier showed up.  
  
"The King asked me to lead you to the dinning room. I hope your rooms are comfortable enough" The elves and dwarf nodded, following the young man in silence. But the soldier was observing them. "I'm sorry if I look at you too much, but.. it's the first time I meet.. elves.. and a real dwarf.. I couldn't believe my eyes when you arrived.. so there's a magical land besides this world.." Legolas smiled, nodding.  
  
"It's also strange for us being in this other world.. we also didn't know that it existed, and I have to say that it's an amazing experience" His blue eyes were brightening, checking each and every corner of the castle. "Your houses are not that different from the human's ones in our time.." He touched a torch that was hanging from the wall.  
  
"Where is Zana?" Haldir asked, breaking the conversation. Legolas frowned, upset, and Gimli's face became red again, before starting to laugh.  
  
"Oooh, back to the good times!!" He shouted, looking at Haldir. But the elf wasn't in his best mood.  
  
"Where is she?" He repeated, and the soldier felt threatened, putting his hand over his sword, with a sharp look.  
  
"You will meet her in no time, elf" He used the word "elf" in a bit too despective way, and this time also Legolas became angry.  
  
"What's going on here?" A new voice asked, and another young soldier appeared. He looked braver and stronger than the one who was guiding them. His green eyes checked all of them.  
  
"He wants to meet the girl, Sir" The younger one talked.  
  
"You're not using the right words, Melgant.. she's a Lady, and this man.. elf.. deserves another treatment. He's Haldir of Lorien" The soldier left, angry, and the stranger talked to them. "If you're worried about Lady Zana.. she's safe, inside the dinning room ,waiting for al of you. Now I must leave. I wish you all a good journey.. and take care of her" Haldir didn't like the way he spoke about Zana. Again, a new and unknown feeling invaded him. Wondering what was that, he turned to Legolas, but decided to shut up.  
  
"Lets go there then, Haldir" Legolas said, walking fast. He was surprised with Haldir's reaction, but opted for not saying anything. He had to admit that sometimes, new sensations were coming to him too. When he turned around a corner, he saw Fern. He was talking to a girl in low voice. Haldir stopped too, followed by Gimli.  
  
"I thought I would never see you again.." Fern commented, and the girl smiled. She had long blonde hair and blue eyes, and he was holding her hand.  
  
"You should have ended up here and not in Middle Earth.. that was a big mistake.. "  
  
"I know.. the last time I came here we were only small children.. I couldn't manage to come again until now.. the door didn't open again, but.. you shouldn't be here , you're an intruder!" He touched her face, and she shook her head.  
  
"I belong to royalty, I'm engaged to Arthur.. he's the only person who knows about my arrival.. so I'm safe! I'm only afraid of the future that is expecting for us.." She sighed, with tears in her eyes.  
  
"Geneva.. nothing bad will happen.. I've been travelling from future to here for many years.. we were happy, and we can't be forever, because this time I won't leave this century"  
  
"You can't stay here!" She shouted, looking around. "I'm engaged to the King, are you crazy?" Fern nodded, taking a deep breath. "And you must help this girl from your time.."  
  
"You know why I'm helping her, Geneva.." At this time, Haldir and Legolas were so shocked that they couldn't react. Legolas listened carefully. "I have to make her change the future of Earth on the way I want.. so that it will be possible to change this century too.."  
  
"And how will you do it?" She asked, hugging him.  
  
"I don't know"  
  
------------------ ---------------------- ---------------------- -------- ------------ --------------  
  
I heard the conversation from the place where I was.. I was shocked, so shocked. Fern and Geneva? But. she was engaged to Arthur and destined to be the lover of Lancelot! I couldn't believe that a person from my time had travelled through time before, and that he was able to do it whenever he wanted. I felt a kind of anger towards Fern, I felt stupid.. he wanted to change the history with selfish purposes.. and I wouldn't allow it.  
  
I walked back and when I turned around a corner, I saw Legolas, Haldir and Gimli listening behind a plant. I walked slowly, but their elvish ears caught my steps at once. Haldir turned around and looked at me with shocked eyes.  
  
"Zana.. it's about Fern.." He whispered, very close to me. I felt his breath in my face and I closed my eyes, nodding.  
  
"I know.. I also heard it.." Legolas came with us, his expression full of anger.  
  
"We shouldn't have trusted him"  
  
"I told you" replied Haldir with a triumphant look. "He ended up in Middle Earth by mistake.. I wonder why Galadriel didn't know about this.." The elf looked more and more confused.. Galadriel had been hiding too many things, but.. why?  
  
"What are you all doing here?" We all jumped when we heard Arthur's voice. I blushed, and looked at him. He looked back in reply, with a kind smile. Behind us, the blonde girl walked towards the King, smiling. "She's my fiancee, Geneva" She looked at us, nodding with her head. And I felt anger again.. the King was noble and loyal.. and she was betraying him.. with Fern! But the legend said she was Lancelot's lover, so.. how come did things happen like this? Some seconds after, Fern joined us, and I gave him such a killing look that he couldn't help shrugging.  
  
"It seems the past is not what the books from 20th century say, don't you think, Zana?" I froze with Fern's words. Haldir, who was close to me, also heard him, and he looked at me with surprised eyes.  
  
"I won't allow you to spoil History, Fern.. and I won't allow you to spoil my mission. "  
  
"I only want to be with Geneva" He replied, sadly.  
  
"If you were destined to be with her, you would have been born in this year, and not in 1973" My reply was sharp and he blushed in anger.  
  
"King Arthur, if you don't mind, I need to rest. I don't feel well" Fern said, and the King nodded, while he left us there. I was going to follow him but I felt Legolas hand holding my arm.  
  
"Let him go.. things will be solved soon, trust me" And I looked in his blue eyes.. and I knew I could trust him. His smile made me feel more self confident.  
  
"We're alone with Destiny.." I said, sadly. And to my big surprise, while the King started to speak about the castle, while Legolas and Gimli were smiling and listening to his words, after some minutes, I felt Haldir's hand on mine. When I saw his face, he was smiling to me, with one of his sweet smiles he had showed many times before.. and somehow, I felt hope.  
  
We had a fast breakfast because the King said that Merlin would be waiting for us. My heart started beating so fast, I was going to meet another famous one and I couldn't believe that.. not only this.. Merlin was friend of Galadriel, and that was shocking.. as if the existence of magic in my world was something completely unexpected, impossible to happen.  
  
"We'll walk to the Glastonbury Hill.. where the Tor is placed.. it's a magical place" Arthur smiled, looking at us. "The persons who are brave enough to walk there and meet the Tor, change forever.. in a good way, of course.. but many things can be seen there, some of them bad.. so you must be strong.. and never, never.. tell the others the things you'll see. "  
  
"Who made this place magic, and who made the legend begin until my days?" I asked, full of curiosity.  
  
"Merlin" Was his simple answer. He stood up, leaving the table. "Walk with me, my friends." And we all followed the King through the fields covered with green grass. The breeze from the sea brought a sweet smell, and the sun warmed us. It was an ethereal place indeed.. the hill shone under the light, and we saw the shape of a man over it. Haldir whispered something in elvish tongue, and Legolas turned back automatically, watching at him. He looked so shocked.  
  
"What's wrong, Haldir?" I asked, touching his arm, but his blue eyes didn't move from there . He opened his mouth, as we went on walking, ignoring my question. I tried with Legolas, but he was too shocked as well. "Legolas!" I shouted, but I didn't get a reply. I got it when we were some metres away from the Tor.. the King ran faster and hugged Merlin, smiling. When the magician turned around to meet us, I thought I would faint. There , standing in front of us.. with a blue tunic , a blue hat.. looking at me..  
  
"Hello ,Zana.. it's a pleasure to meet you again" His blue eyes smiled.  
  
"Ga.. Gandalf.." I whispered, speechless. We finally were over the Glastonbury Hill.  
  
----------------- ----------------- -------------------- --------------- -------------------- -------  
  
Fern ran through the halls, looking for Geneva, but he couldn't find her. He had needed ten years to find the door again, the door that allowed him to travel through time. And Zana had found it first, and he had to follow her, and follow her destiny.. it was the only way of crossing to another time.. but she had ended up in the wrong place for him. Now he needed to make her disappear, together with her friends. Since he was eighteen years old, when he had first travelled to Camelot and met the young Geneva, he had dreamed about coming back. She was the love of his life, and he knew what History told about her.. her heart would belong to Lancelot.. and he had to stop it. But.. how could he fight against Destiny?  
  
Lancelot was walking in the halls, totally absent minded, when he almost crashed against a young woman. When he saw her, his heart started beating fast. She was the prettiest woman he had ever seen before. And she was staring at him, with her light blue eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry.." He whispered, and she blushed.  
  
"No, It's s my fault, don't worry" She smiled back, wondering why was she so nervous. She tried to think about Fern, but she couldn't. All she had in mind was that awesome Knight of the Round Table. They both stared at each other for a while, knowing that things would be a lot different since that moment. Destiny had played its cards.  
  
---------------- ------------------- ------------------ ------------------ -------------  
  
Fern saw his friends packing their things and getting ready for the journey.. and he knew he had to stop them. He had to stop everything , to be able to stay with Geneva. The thought of the woman made him happy, and encouraged the human to go on with his plans. He went out of his room, two hours had passed since their last meeting and he already needed to see her. He ran , crossing the halls.  
  
Lancelot and Geneva went to a balcony, where nobody could see them. They had fallen in love immediately, as if someone had put a spell on them. They didn't speak, they just stared at each other, as if time didn't exist. Geneva was shocked, she couldn't believe that after ten years waiting for Fern, when she finally had him there, she didn't care. And Lancelot understood Zana's words, but he didn't want to think about how could that be possible . He just wanted to be with her. They both knew that it would be difficult, she was engaged to the King Arthur and soon, she would be the Queen. But they didn't care, they would do everything to be together. Lancelot would do anything..  
  
"He can change the future.." Geneva whispered.  
  
"What?" His green eyes looked confused, and she finally spoke about Fern. Lancelot's face became red of anger. "No if I can stop it"  
  
------------------------------ ------------------------- ----------------- ------------ -----------------  
  
"Don't fear anything, my friends.." Merlin (or Gandalf) whispered to us.. Haldir was so shocked that he even wasn't able to make the question we all wanted to ask.  
  
"Gandalf.. what are you doing here?" It was Gimli the one who dared to speak.  
  
"Gandalf? Who is Gandalf?" Arthur asked, watching at his friend Merlin. The magician laughed lightly.  
  
"I love when humans get so confused.." The King frowned, but nobody got an answer. "We're over the Hill , the magic Hill that will show you all your own way.. don't be afraid of touching the stone Tor.. but I warn you that you won't see clear images.. just shadows and dreams that you must interpretate.. " He looked at me, giving me his hand. "Zana, come with me. You're the first one" He placed my hand over the stone, and asked me to close my eyes. I did it, feeling the sea breeze and the wind. My dress was moving all around my body, like a curtain when the window is opened, and it was so uncomfortable. My hair was flying too, and I tried to concentrate. It wasn't difficult.. at once I stopped hearing noises, and darkness came.. I saw a red carpet.. very long.. I was behind iron sticks.. a jail? Two men, brown hair, looking at me, but I couldn't see their faces. And strong lights, very strong, that made me blind. I looked at my hands, and I saw jewels. A voice.. I couldn't understand what he said.. and then, the sky.. flying over the clouds.. that was all. Merlin/Gandalf brought me back to world.  
  
"I can't understand what I've seen, it was so.. strange. ." I blinked under the sun light, covering my eyes with my hand. The King was pale, and my friends amazed. "What? " I asked.  
  
"You talked about very strange things during your.. experience.. we can't understand the meaning of some words.." Haldir said, confused. "Those were words from your world, from your time.."  
  
"She can't know details" Merlin said with sharp voice. He looked at all of us, and then sat on the grass. "I'm tired.. I gave magic to this place and it will be like this forever and ever. Arthur.. I want to rest" The King helped him to stand up. I couldn't believe that Gandalf was acting like that.. I understood that he had to keep his identity, but.. the King knew everything about Middle Earth, so.. why all that mystery? Who knew what the magician had inside his head.  
  
"What about us? About our future?" Legolas asked, confused. The blue eyes of the magician shone with a strange light.  
  
"You'll get all answers from Zana's vision.. as well as it includes your own destinies" No one understood his words, but we all knew that our time in Glastonbury was over. I looked to the sea, in the distance, where the sun shone brighter. And I knew that new History periods were coming.  
  
I walked to the edge of the cliff, with Haldir and Legolas by my side.. they were lost in tehir thoughts, probably wondering about how was it possible that Gandalf pretended not to know about them.. probably wondering how come Galadriel didn't tell all details.. Haldir felt hurted, and Legolas shocked. I felt sorry for both of them, but for me, in that moment, things started to make more sense.. although I didn't know why. I looked at the ring in my hand, and I noticed Haldir's gaze on me.  
  
"This ring is a symbol of loyalty and truth.. and Galadriel didn't act like this.. " His voice sounded sad. He took my hand and removed the ring.  
  
"What are you doing? " I asked, and he looked at me. "No, Haldir.. this is the only thing I have from you! The only memory I'll have when I'll separate from you.. I know you don't feel anything about me, but.. please, don't take me away the only thing I keep from you" But he didn't pay attention to me, and threw it to the sea. "Haldir.." I murmured, with my eyes full of tears, expecting that he would walk back with Legolas and Gimli, but I was wrong. He put his hands on my shoulders and then ,facing me, he looked in my eyes.  
  
"Something is waking up inside me.. and when this will happen , I will give you something you deserve, something that can't be compared to this ring.. when the time will come.. I promise I'll give you something you don't expect" And with a smile, he left. I was too confused to think, and I walked some steps , I wanted to see the sea.. but what I saw made me freeze.. the dead body of Fern over the rocks, one hundred metres under me.  
  
"Destiny goes on" I heard Gandalf's voice inside my head. "Lancelot helped you, Zana.. take this chance" 


	38. Turning into

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana *************************  
  
Thanks for all the reviews! I'm happy to see that new people are reading my story, and that the usual ones go on liking this! I already finished classes, for Christmas holidays, so I'm at home and I'll be able to write more often. Anyway, as I said, on 18th I'll go to Slovenia and I'll be there until 4th January.. well, I'll go to visit my boyfriend, and no, I'm not in a choir, Hiko- Sama : ) Well, now that Christmas days are close, and that beautiful things happen to people (or this movies say..) I'll make this story change a bit too : ) Thank you all!  
  
************* **************** **********************  
  
His little heart,  
  
It beats so fast,  
  
And I'm ashamed of running away  
  
From nothing real--  
  
I just can't deal with this,  
  
But I'm still afraid to be there,  
  
Among your hounds of love,  
  
And feel your arms surround me.  
  
I've always been a coward,  
  
And never know what's good for me.  
  
-- Hounds of love - Kate Bush  
  
It was late at night when I woke up, with tears in my eyes... the King Arthur had led us to our rooms after discovering what had happened to Fern.. I still couldn't believe that, I was wondering who had killed him.. but the most horrible thing was that I didn't care.. somehow, I was happy to be free of his charge, free of his remarks, of his ideas and thoughts.. nobody was sad.. but after all the difficult situations I had lived, I just needed to cry, happy to be locked in that room ,out of the sight of my friends.  
  
I couldn't tell what time was, it was dark and silent, but I heard steps out of my room. My heart started beating fast, and I sat on my bed. And listened. The steps stopped in front of my door, and I jumped when I heard the knocks. I walked towards there,slowly, and waited for the voice of the visitor. And I smiled.  
  
"Zana, it's me.. please, open the door, I want to talk to you.." Legolas had come to see me, and I couldn't help feeling happy, after the loneliness of the past hours. I opened the door slowly and saw his blue eyes shining in the darkness of the halls. "Can I come in?" His voice was shy, and I let him pass in. I closed and we stared at each other, I didn't know what to say, so I sat on my bed again, while he looked at me, and then around himself, looking for a place where to stay.  
  
"You can sit on the bed too, it's big enough" I said, but he didn't look too convinced. Anyway, after a few seconds, he chose a corner and took a deep breath.  
  
"I wanted to know how do you feel, Zana.. too many bad things had been happening to you, first, the loss after crossing the Fountain of Truth, and now this.." He was quiet, waiting for my reply.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm fine.. it's only that I need time to accept all the new events.. I still can't believe where are we.. on Earth, sleeping in King Arthur's castle.." I looked at the ceiling, at the windows, and then at Legolas, who was looking at me, confused.  
  
"Zana..it's impossible that you feel ok, don't try to look strong in front of me because I know that things are not like this.. I'm here to offer you my help, for anything you need, just tell me.. well, not everything, you know.. I lost all my feelings, yes, but not my friendship feelings.. I love you like a friend, like I can love Gimli or Haldir.. and this is something powerful, believe me.. because my friends are forever, and you're one of my best friends"  
  
"Thank you ,Legolas" I said, and my eyes were full of tears again. "I really appreciate this, because I don't only need romantic feelings, you know" I smiled, and he smiled back too. An uncomfortable silence came. He looked at me.  
  
"Once I kissed you.." That took me by surprise, and I felt my face blushing. His blue eyes widened. "I had never kissed anybody before.. I had never had romantic feelings towards anybody.. but I really had them towards you.. and I can't understand it.. how come I reached that point, because.. all my life were my friends, my father's kingdom, my training and my weapons.. something happened that day I found you in the forest.. and I would like to know what was that.. what was the thing that made me change completely.. so much.." He seemed to be thinking, and my heart was beating so fast. A small smile on his lips told me that he was hearing it, but he didn't comment anything. "And now, once I lost everything, but I still know you.. things look so different.. as if for moments I felt how you think about me.." I blushed again, remembering those words.. that once my heart chose one of them, their feelings would start to develop again. "No.. but.. it's stupid.. I mean.. you love Haldir, and you loved him even when you had the chance to be with me.."  
  
"Legolas.. what are you trying to tell me?" I almost couldn't sleep, I just wanted to run. I felt his gaze on me again.  
  
"Once I felt something so beautiful that I would have done anything to keep it.. and if once I felt it, this can happen again.. I just want to know how to make it happen"  
  
"You can't force those things, Legolas.. they just happen.. and if there's nothing inside your heart, this means that you can't create it.. or at least, I wouldn't like to be loved in this way, if you had to train your heart just to feel something.. I want spontaneous feelings, true feelings.." He nodded.  
  
"I understand.. then, I can't do anything to help you, Zana"  
  
"I didn't ask you for this kind of help" I said, sharply. I got angry all from the sudden, thinking that maybe he had come just to ell me that he couldn't reply my love, as if he thought I was in love with him. "If you came here because you needed to increase your self- steem.."  
  
"What are you saying, Zana?" He was angry too, and he stood up from my bed. "Do you think I would play with your feelings like this?"  
  
"I'm just saying that you're not the centre of the universe, you know? " We looked at each other, and I realised about what I had just said.. I was acting childish, in a stupid way.. as if I was angry because he didn't love me.. yes, I was reacting like a person who loves but is not loved.. I felt so ashamed. I also stood up and walked towards the balcony, leaving him behind, hoping that he would leave the room.. but he didn't.  
  
"What do you really want, Zana?" He was close to me, in the balcony, the moon shining over us. I felt stupid and shy, nervous and angry, all at the same time. He was looking at me with those blue eyes and I really felt small.  
  
"I don't know.." I whispered, and to my surprise, he was smiling.  
  
"Then you're as confused as I am" Things calmed down a bit, and I was able to smile too. I felt comfortable with him, with his presence, and without thinking, I fixed part of his hair, that had fallen over his face. I blushed when I realised what I had done, and he looked so confused that he even couldn't move.  
  
"You. had.. hair.." I stuttered, pointing at his head. I wished that Gimli had appeared just in that moment. Where was the dwarf when we needed him?  
  
"Remember the story about the Glastonbury Tor? About that people change when they go there?" I nodded, surprised with this change of subject. "Do you feel changed?" His voice was a whisper.  
  
"I still don't know.." I thought for a moment.. and I realised that after visiting that hill, coming back to the room, and meeting Legolas.. my heart was a bit less confused.. I didn't want to accept what had happened, but I really felt different.. my heart was different. But I didn't say anything, I just looked at him.  
  
"But something changed.." It was more a statement than a question, he was talking for both of us. "I'm starting to feel it now.." His blue eyes looked around, as if new sensations were coming inside his heart. "It's so strange, but.. I think that the Tor.. yes.. " He smiled , touching his chest, and then looking at me. I felt a bit scared, all from the sudden. What if the Tor..  
  
"Legolas, calm down.. you had just told me that.." I wasn't able to speak any more, because his blue eyes looked at me again, this time with a completely different look. And he smiled. "Legolas, I think that you should go to bed and rest.." But he didn't listen to me. "legolas.." I repeated, and this time he walked towards the door, with a mysterious smile. He looked back, to watch at me.  
  
"Good night, Zana.. and don't worry about anything. You'll see.." And he left me there, so confused that I didn't know what to do.  
  
---------------------- -------------------------- ---------------------- --------------------------  
  
I woke up late, very late.. I took a bath quickly, and then got dressed. Running to the dinning room, where I found al my friends, already having breakfast, I excused myself for the delay. I blushed when Legolas smiled at me.  
  
"This will be your last morning here, Lady" The King Arthur greeted me with those words.  
  
"I know.. but I still don't know where are we going.." I looked at Haldir, whose face was so pale that it seemed he hadn't slept for the whole past days. His eyes were staring at the window, he was lost in his thoughts. Gimli was serious too.. they all, except Legolas and the King. I noticed that Merlin( or Gandalf) wasn't there, but I didn't want to ask. I was already too confused.  
  
"Haldir.." I said, and the elf needed some seconds to react. "Can you please give me the bread? I can't reach it.." He passed me the small basket without saying a word, without even looking at me. I wondered what was wrong.  
  
"Merlin left a letter for you, Zana.. he explains what you have to do.. I already dread it, with his permission, of course.. and I think that a new adventure is waiting for you, and I wish you the best on your journey.. he had to leave, my poor friend.." But we all gave him suspicious looks. Suddenly, he stood up. "I must leave too. I hope everything will go well, it was a pleasure to meet you all and.. good luck" I felt his hand over my shoulder when he left , and I turned back with curiosity, but he had already disappeared. With trembling hands, I opened the envelope, my three friends looking at me.  
  
"Dear Zana,  
  
I'm sorry because I left so fast, without giving an explanation.. few people know about my real identity.. but I'll be brief.. something dangerous waits for you, and you'll need al the help of your friends. More journeys through time.. more people you'll meet.. don't worry about how to find the times, the places.. you'll just be there. But I'll give you some advices.. first, follow your heart always, Zana.. Second.. don't give up , whatever will happen, whatever your friends will make or say.. trust yourself, when the moment will come, you'll only have yourself, Zana.. with my best wishes I say.. see you soon.  
  
Merlin.. "  
  
"What did he say?" Gimli asked, trying to read the paper, but I kept it. Haldir and Legolas watched at my reaction and they exchanged a look.  
  
"If Gandalf wanted her to tell us, this letter would have our names written on it, Gimli" Legolas finally spoke, and then smiled kindly.  
  
"I don't like secrets" Haldir said, sharply.  
  
"What's wrong with you this morning, Haldir?" I couldn't help asking him, and his look was freezing. "Maybe the Tor also changed you?" He became even paler with my words. Suddenly, he left the table.  
  
"What the hell.." I murmured, and Legolas and Gimli went on eating their breakfast in silence, but I ran after Haldir. Anyway, when I reached the halls, I heard voices and I hide behind a column. I knew it was a bad action, but I couldn't help it. Those voices were known to me.  
  
"I can't believe what you told me last night, I'm still shocked.." Haldir was speaking, and I another male's voice replying.  
  
"I know it's difficult to understand.. wen I was told about this I also couldn't believe it.. I didn't bring any memory from my past lives.. but Merlin helped me to remember, he showed me my previous lives, included the one where you come from.." Lancelot was the one who was speaking, and I became more and more curious.  
  
"Thank you for helping us.." Halidr was doubting for a while, as if he wanted to say his name but he couldn't..  
  
"No, Haldir.. here you must call me Lancelot.. and there's no need to say thanks.. if Fern was still here, your mission would have been destroyed, he planned to kill you all.. so I had to do it.." A moment of silence came.. who was Lancelot and why he didn't want Haldir to say his real name?  
  
"Then, my friend.. see you in our next life.."  
  
"Always"  
  
"Goodbye, Aragorn.." I froze when I heard those words.. Lancelot was the reincarnation of Aragorn! Now I was starting to understand his actions better.. but.. anyway..  
  
"What are you doing here?" I was so absent minded , thinking, that I didn't hear Haldir coming. I blushed, he looked so angry. "You heard everything, right?" I just nodded, expecting a big shout or something similar, but he didn't do it. "It's Ok.. " He said, walking with me. "I'm sorry for acting like this during breakfast.. but the Tor changed all of us.. even you, although maybe by the moment you didn't realise.. I'm trying to discover in which way it changed me.. they say you can only turn into something better.. but I only feel sad, depressed and melancholic.. as if I missed something.. or.." He stopped walking, and looked at me. "Or as if I was waiting for something to happen" His eyes looked more confused than ever.  
  
"Forget it by the moment, OK? I already have enough confusion.. I want to leave this place, this century, and finish with everything.. I'm tired of not understanding anything, so please, don't make my life even more confusing" Haldir seemed to accept my petition, because he just smiled.  
  
"I promise" 


	39. Blue ocean

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ***********************  
  
Things are getting complicated and Haldir has a secret.. : ) Thanks for the reviews! I hope you'll also like this chapter!  
  
********** ************** *************** *************** *********  
  
You say that love will capture me  
  
But not unless you give it free  
  
We're sailing on the seven seas  
  
Sister Ray is on TV  
  
The light of love that shines so bright  
  
That the F.B.I won't sleep tonight  
  
Because I'm so in awe of you  
  
That I don't know what to do  
  
And I'm sailing on the seven seas so blue  
  
Sailing on the Seven Seas - OMD  
  
We stopped near from the cliff.. the four of us were so confused that we didn't know where to start.. we knew that sooner or later we would change from century, from time.. but we didn't know how. Legolas walked two steps towards the edge of the rocks and looked at the ocean, spreading in front of our eyes.  
  
"Something tells me that we must cross this barrier of water.. " He whispered, watching at Haldir, who also nodded.  
  
"And how do you plan to do it, genius?" Gimli asked, with a scared expression on his face.. I was convinced that he hated water more than anybody else in the world.  
  
"The King gave us a small boat" Haldir frowned, looking at the dwarf.  
  
"A small boat? For all of us?" My voice sounded nervous. I never had fear of water, but a small ship, crossing the ocean.. none of us was able to sail.. what if a storm came? What if we died?  
  
"Don't worry, we have to trust on Destiny.. remember Gandalf's words, Zana.." Legolas smiled, and then looked in the distance.  
  
"At least, we must try it" Haldir commented, walking on the rocks, going down and reaching the small beach. We followed him, and Gimli was murmuring something in dwarfish.  
  
A boat was waiting for us. Made of wood, without any kind of sailing instrument, just an oar. There was space only for four people, and it looked dangerous indeed. I gave a look to Haldir, and he caught my gaze. He was worried, but tried not to show it.  
  
"Come on" He said, taking my arm.  
  
"I'm scared.. I can't do this" I had to admit that, at that moment, I would have given up with the mission. I barely could breath, I was sweating and a panic invaded me. Gimli jumped inside the boat, and Legolas came next to me.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked, looking at Haldir.  
  
"She says she can't do it.." Then ,they both exchanged a look.  
  
"What?" I asked, nervously. I wanted torun, and I was about to do it when I felt one of Haldir's arms in my waist and the other one under my legs. "Haldir, leave me on the ground!" I shouted, but he led me to the boat and left me inside. Legolas followed us and untied the rope that kept the boat safe on earth.  
  
"Trust me, Zana.." Legolas said firmly. "And don't move too much or else you'll throw all of us into the water" I couldn't believe that they had forced me to go. I was too angry, too scared. And we were sailing. The coast was more and more distant and the light sun warmed us. The deepness of water made me shake.. it was so strange.. I had never been afraid of water before, in my whole life. I remembered when I went with my aunt and uncle, on their yacht, and I walked on the surface and then dove inside the blue ocean. But in that moment, I didn't want to watch the shaking waters.. I closed my eyes, trying to breath again. Something was wrong with me and I didn't know what was it. Something had changed.  
  
"Open your eyes, Zana.." Haldir said, sharply. "Don't be stupid, it's just water, you can swim" I was shocked with his words.. suddenly he had turned into an angry elf, someone who was making fun of me. I looked at him surprised.  
  
"The only stupid person here is you, Haldir.. since we went to the Tor you're unbearable, and I won't allow you to talk to me like this" Gimli and Legolas stared at us. The dwarf shook his head.  
  
"Haldir is having a bad time since he talked to Lancelot, but he doesn't want to tell us what is going to happen.." The dwarf explained me, and this made the elf even more angry.  
  
"You promised me you wouldn't say anything" Haldir's voice sounded like a thunder.  
  
"So you're keeping secrets?" Legolas frowned, looking at him. Haldir lifted his hands, giving up.  
  
"OK" He said. "Lancelot told me something that made me worried.. but I won't say anything about it. I'm sorry but it's personal.. Merlin told him , and he told me. It's about my private life and it doesn't have anything to do with all of you. Don't fear anything" .  
  
"I'm sorry for insisting.." I whispered, and then closed my eyes again. My fears came once more, and I wished, more than ever before, that someone hugged me.  
  
"If it's something personal then.. forget it, and forgive us" Legolas said with a smile, and I noticed the ship moving too much. Taking a deep breath, I held the sit with my hands, but there was nothing to worry about. Legolas had caused that movement when he sat next to me. "I'm sorry if you're having a bad time, Zana" Somehow, his words, spoken so close to me, made me feel a lot better. I opened my eyes and realised he was really close, his blue eyes shining like the water.  
  
"I don't know what's wrong with me.." I whispered, ashamed. I felt Haldir's gaze on us, but it didn't stop me, I went on looking at Legolas.  
  
"The wind is changing" Gimli said, and the ship gave a turn. My heart started beating so fast when I saw Legolas and Haldir exchanging a worried look.  
  
"The time has come.." One of them murmured, but I couldn't tell who. I was too scared. We were turning more and more, spinning around, the ship lifting in the air.. and suddenly, everything was calmed. No breeze, no wind.. nothing.. only sun and a calmed sea..  
  
"A ship is coming.. a huge ship!" Legolas stared at the horizon and we all looked in that direction. He was right, an amazing big ship was coming, I felt panic and, at the same time, I was happy to see it.. Haldir smiled a bit, but his worried look was still on his face.  
  
"They're coming.." He commented, as if he knew who was coming. We waited for some minutes, in silence, and then we saw a small boat coming from the main one, with maybe six sailors , approaching us. When they were closer I noticed they were dressed like gladiators.. we had travelled through time, but.. who were they and what were they doing ? Were they dangerous? And why those clothes? They didn't look like Romans.. They came. They observed us, with worried faces, amazed. Gimli was their favourite objective, obviously they had never seen a dwarf before. Haldir and Legolas hide their pointy ears under their hair. They also stared at me, as if they didn't understand anything. They spoke some words between themselves.. another language that sounded like.Greek? But I couldn't speak it.. they asked us something, and nobody was able to reply.  
  
"We only speak English.." Haldir and Legolas looked at me. "Well, the Common tongue.." One of the soldiers/sailors watched me. His skin was dark because of the sun, but he looked very young. Frowning, he said some words. Now all the looks were on me. "You're speaking Greek.. Athens.." I started to say known words, and they understood, because their eyes widened. "Is this a ship from Athens?" I said, pointing the huge boat. The young one shook his head, and with a nice voice talked about something I interpreted like Greece, but not the capitol. I went on speaking. "Poseidon?" And they all jumped, as if I had named a forbidden name.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Gimli asked me, and I noticed that Legolas was observing me with surprise.  
  
"They're from Greece.. we're in the old times of this empire.." I murmured, amazed. I looked at another sailor, who showed us a sit inside the boat. We jumped there, and we started the journey to the main ship. During all those minutes, the group checked us. I felt a bit scared, but Legolas was sitting with me and this was calming. "Promise me something.." I said , and he turned to meet my eyes.  
  
"Whatever you want.." He whispered.  
  
"That you won't leave me alone with any of those men.. we're in very old times and..well, things were very complicated for girls.. bad things can happen to me if.."  
  
"Don't worry. Trust me" He smiled and touched my arm. I made a big effort and looked in another direction. Over the big ship there were hundreds of men, similar to those ones, who were waiting for our boat. And I heard a stronger voice among all of them. A kind of leader, I would say. And I saw him, metres over us. He was blonde, with blue eyes and dark skin. He looked so strong, dressed like a gladiator, with those strange clothes.. but there was something different on him. He was like magical.. like a hero from movies.  
  
"Welcome to my ship, strangers" He said, with a strange accent.  
  
"You speak our tongue!" Legolas shouted, and the man looked offended.  
  
"Of course.. I've sailed on all the seas of this world and met the most different kinds of people you could ever imagine" His voice was arrogant, and I noticed that Legolas didn't like him. While we arrived in the big ship, tied with ropes and climbing, the man went on asking us. "Who are you and where do you come from? What were you doing in the middle of the Egeo Sea?" He was looking at me, as if he had seen me before. And I didn't know what to reply, we hadn't thought about a possible story to tell.. so I had to hide some details.  
  
"We come from a distant land.. we were lost in the sea and.."  
  
"How come the woman is speaking and the three men are so quiet?" He asked, with an angry expression.  
  
"I'm not less than them and I can speak if I want" All the sailors looked surprised with my reply, and as if they agreed with me, Legolas, Haldir and Gimli encouraged me to go on speaking. "As I was saying, we were lost until you found us.. the truth is that we don't know what are we looking for, because until this moment, we've lost all the hope and all what we thought it was real , was fake.. we need help to find our way" My words caused a strange effect on him, and for the first time, I saw a smile on his face, and I was surprised to see that he was so good-looking, under that sharp expression.  
  
"Well, then our missions are not so different.. we're also looking for something.. but it's not time to talk about it yet" He was rude again, and walked with us through the wooden floor. "The only thing I can do for you is carry you to the place where we're going.." I stopped and touched his arm, making him stop too. I was surprised that my friends were so quiet..  
  
"I would like to know something very simple.. where are we? On which year?" He looked shocked with my words, and frowned.  
  
"You're very strange indeed.. " He analysed me for a while, and then took a deep breath. "We're sailing on the Egeo Sea.. on our way to Troy."  
  
"Troy?" I shouted, and I remembered many things.. I laughed, nervously. When I had left Earth, and landed in Middle Earth, I was about to watch a movie in the cinemas.. I was waiting for it, like I waited for Lord of the Rings.. another movie with Orlando Bloom.. but that was impossible.. were, all from the sudden, all my wishes coming true? Was that the place I was expecting to see? And what if the persons I was going to meet there looked exactly like the ones in the movie, another reincarnations of the original ones? I remembered Lancelot.. he was so alike to Aragorn, but I couldn't recognise him under that beard.. and he was younger, a lot younger than Aragorn.. like a teenage Aragorn.. and the man in front of me, in that moment, with that strange helmet hiding half of his face was.. no, it couldn't be real. I went on laughing, all people looking at me. "I'm becoming crazy, completely crazy.."  
  
"What do you mean?" The tall man asked.  
  
"I know who are you" I said, smiling. My friends were surprised too. "You're Aquilles" The man became pale, his sword fell on the floor. There was a silence all over the ship.  
  
"How do you know this?" He murmured, shocked.  
  
"And you're going to Troy because Helen was kidnapped by Paris, right?" Now I felt a sword on my throat.  
  
"You're a spy" He shouted, angrily. I saw Legolas shaking his head.  
  
"Zana.." Haldir said, with a desperate voice.  
  
"I'm not a spy, I come from England! We all come from England.." Aquilles took my arm and left the sword apart.  
  
"But you know our secret mission, how come?" I saw his blue eyes through the helmet, he looked scared. "You're just a young girl, with strange clothes.."  
  
"Leave her alone" Legolas gave some steps towards us. Aquilles looked at him. "I asked you to leave her alone" His voice was sharp.  
  
"And who are you?" His voice sounded sarcastic.  
  
"I'm Legolas, and she's my friend, and I won't allow you to hurt her."  
  
"What a strange name, Legolas.. and who are your friends?" He looked amused.  
  
"Haldir and Gimli" Aquilles and the sailors started to laugh out loud.  
  
"For a moment we thought that you were Trojans, but obviously, with those names and this accent.." His gaze turned kind and he left my arm. "Anyway, you know too much about us.. please, explain me it.." By that moment I suspected there was something behind this man, something he already knew.. and I thought about Gandalf, adopting another personality.. maybe Aquilles knew about our arrival, but he had to hide it.  
  
"I think you also know about us.." Legolas commented, and the man turned around to see him. And he was silent.  
  
"We'll talk when we'll arrive in Troy.. now, you can eat and drink something." He left us there, and we walked behind two sailors who led us to a fresh place inside the ship. While we were eating, Haldir looked at me.  
  
"How come did you know who were they? " The three looked at me, and I shrugged.  
  
"History from Earth, nothing else.. and you, Haldir.. I think oyu knew that we would meet them.. you were too calmed.." Haldir's face changed, he just nodded. Legolas got so angry.  
  
"You.. we were in danger and you said nothing!"  
  
"I told you it was personal.. I knew they wouldn't hurt us.. please, trust me" He looked at all of us.  
  
"And something personal will happen to you in Troy.." I said, slowly, starting to understand everything..  
  
"Very personal.." He didn't talk more for the rest of the lunch. Legolas and Gimli shrugged. After eating, Haldir excused himself and went to sleep somewhere. Gimli followed him and I stayed alone with Legolas.  
  
"Thanks for defending me.." I said, and he smiled.  
  
"You would have done the same for me"  
  
"I'm afraid of what we'll find there.." I looked throw a small window, ,and sighed.  
  
"I'm sure that Gandalf is already waiting for us.. who knows under which character.. by the way.. you recognised Aquilles appearance.. did you see him before?"  
  
"It's difficult to explain, Legolas.. I saw the man who played him in a movie before.."  
  
"Like it happened with me.." I nodded, and he sat closer to me, interested on the conversation. "So you're finding all our reincarnations through time? Until 21rst century?"  
  
"It seems so.. but the thing I don't understand is why did he travel back through time..we're a lot of centuries before King Arthur's time.." Legolas laid down on the long bank and looked at me.  
  
"Maybe you need something from this century.." he commented, while he seemed to be falling asleep.  
  
"Maybe this century needs something from us.." My voice was just a whisper, and I noticed Legolas was asleep and he didn't hear my last remark. "This is a mess.." The blue sea shone under the sun. 


	40. Haldir

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana********** *****************  
  
I have just bought the soundtrack of "Return of the King", and the truth is that it's amazing! I already chose a song for the last chapter of this story, it's a sad song, but it's not time to include it yet : ) You must listen to it, really.. while I was writing this chapter I even became sad : ) Thanks for all the reviews!!  
  
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And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all  
  
My immortal - Evanescence  
  
It was already night.. the rest of the day had been exhausting, helping in the ship. I didn't have more chances to talk to Achilles, and he hadn't tried to find me.. the curiosity was too big and it was killing me.. I was willing to know the secret of Haldir, and also what was waiting for us in Troy. I was scared, but I had already accepted that even if I wanted or not, I couldn't escape from my Destiny, and this one was to finish my mission no matter what.  
  
The wooden floor was to hard to sleep on it, I checked my watch, that mysteriously , it still worked.. 3 in the night. The moonlight was coming throw the small windows, and the sea was calmed. I needed to breath fresh air, so I left the small cabin where we all were sleeping. I would have paid for having more comfortable clothes, that stupid dress that the King Arthur had given to me was very uncomfortable.. and weather had suddenly changed, it was really hot and sunny.  
  
I walked towards the prow, the moon shinning over the sea. I sat on a big rope that someone put on the ground. It was big enough to look like a small chair, and I put my arms on the edge of the prow, watching at the waves and also at the stars.. I had a strange feeling inside me, as if I was waiting for something to happen, something that would change things completely. I sighed, worried.  
  
"Don't be so sad, Zana" A voice scared me, and I turned around to meet Haldir. He was smiling, but his eyes looked worried. He sat next to me, with his sight lost somewhere. We were in silence for some moments, and I wished that nothing had changed, I wished to come back to past, before we had crossed the Fountain of Truth, when he still loved me. I wished so many things by then. "What are you thinking?" He asked, and looked at me with a strange face.  
  
"I was thinking about everything.. I have the sensation that suddenly I lost everything and that I'm being led somewhere.. and I can't do anything to stop it.." My voice was a whisper, and a grey cloud hide the moon. The soft sound of the waves breaking against the prow relaxed me a bit.  
  
"You think you lost me.." It wasn't a question, and I looked at his blue eyes. "And I don't blame on you for it. Galadriel failed me, and now I failed you.."  
  
"What do you mean?" I turned a bit to see him better. He had an ashamed expression on his face, and suddenly he gave a beat on the wooden ground. "I can't do anything to stop what's coming.. and I can't do anything to come back to the past.. I'll break a promise and I can't do anything to avoid it.."  
  
"Haldir, please.. what are you talking about?" I touched his arm, but he refused my hand.  
  
"No, Zana.. I don't deserve to be here. I can't count on Galadriel.. she lied to me.. she lied to all of us.."  
  
"Galadriel is not a god, Haldir.. she's not perfect, she can make mistakes, you know?" But Haldir was shaking his head with a sad smile. Finally he looked at me, and his gaze scared me a bit. He was changed.  
  
"I'll tell you everything, Zana.. all what happened, all what I know.. because I can't bear this any more.. I promised Galadriel that I wouldn't say it.. but if she failed me, then I'll also fail her.."  
  
"No, please, don't do anything that will make you be sorry later.." But he didn't pay attention to me. He looked around to make sure that nobody was listening to us.  
  
"Now I understand your mission, Zana.. now I understand things.. and I know how this will end up.. the only think I don't know is the objective of this journey.. but I know what's going on, and I'll tell you it. " My heart was beating so fast that I almost couldn't swallow.  
  
"Ok then.. tell me.." I didn't know if I really wanted to be informed about it, but I knew it would help me to understand things better. He looked at me and didn't move his eyes from me.  
  
"You were sent to Middle Earth, because before your world began to exist, my world was the last thing that existed.. it was destroyed by something, it exploded, disappeared.. and then your world was created.. but the souls of the habitants of previous worlds didn't disappear.. they were born in your world.."  
  
"Until here I understand it, and I already knew it.." He nodded, and went on talking.  
  
"Each soul took a place in your world.. and when it died, when a century ended, they were born again in another time, in another place.. so each of us existed in a different time in your world.. like you.. but this wasn't supposed to happen, so you were sent to change things.. Middle Earth and Earth should be the same world, and not two worlds apart, this is why you're here." I nodded, nervous. "Galadriel gave me a mission, Zana.. she asked me something.. she said: "Haldir.. you must stop her when the moment will come.." I kept my breath, scared.  
  
"What does this mean, Haldir?" He looked at me, sadly.  
  
"You're destined to make a mistake.. and when the moment will come, I have to stop you, no matter what"  
  
"What was the whole story that Galadriel told you, Haldir?" I asked, a bit angry. He looked in the distance and repeated Galadriel's words.  
  
""For the future of both worlds, some , or one of you, must die. For the future of habitants of Earth , the secret must be kept. Both worlds shouldn't be joined, this would mean a big mess.. I want to tell you something, and I'm afraid that for the first time in our lives, Gandalf and I were wrong.. Zana was sent here for unknown reasons, although at first we were sure about them.. now I can say that everything has changed. She wasn't sent here to join worlds.. she was sent here to test one of you, to check if your heart is really as honourable as we all thought.. but on her way she will find a big dilemma, and this is the dangerous thing.. Gandalf saw it and now I see it too.. all depends on her, and unfortunately, I don't trust humans too much. I don't know if she will take the right decision, I can't know if she will sacrifice .. something.. or someone.. if the discovery she will make will be a too big lack, a too big charge for her, something that won't allow Zana to have a normal life.. maybe it will be too much for a human... you must stop her when the moment will come..this is exactly what Galadriel told me, Zana.." His blue eyes fixed on mines, and I almost couldn't breath. I was shocked.  
  
"She doesn't trust me.. one of us already died.. most of her predictions are true.." I murmured, feeling my face paler than ever. I lost all the self- confidence I had on myself, I lost all optimism. "My mission wasn't to help both worlds.. then.. why was I sent here?" My eyes were full of tears. "Why didn't you tell me before?"  
  
"Please, calm down, Zana.." Haldir took my hand, but I was too shocked to notice it.  
  
"What am I doing here?" I started to cry, I wasn't able to stop. Now I felt Haldir's arm over me, but it didn't calm me at all. "You all lost your feelings.. you all were tested.. Fern used me to meet that woman.. now he died.. things were changed in the past, and things will be changed in my world.. don't you understand it, Haldir? The simplest detail, changed in the past, can make the future so different.."  
  
"I know" He was still hugging me, but I knew his action was friendly, that he didn't have more feelings towards me. I felt empty of emotions. "But you'll solve things, Zana.. you'll see how things will go well when you'll return.." I separated from him and looked in his eyes.  
  
"Do you know that some days ago, you wouldn't have allowed me to leave your world? You wanted me to live with you in Lorien.." He nodded.  
  
"But you know it would be impossible. You're human, I'm immortal.."  
  
"You weren't saying so some days ago!" I shouted, feeling stupid. I couldn't change anything.  
  
"Zana.. I can't ask you this now and you have to understand it.." I separated even more and gave him a sharp look.  
  
"Go on telling me, Haldir.. about your secret." He sighed.  
  
"You already know that Lancelot was a young Aragorn.. his reincarnation.. he talked to Merlin.. or Gandalf.. he told me about our next stage of the mission. I knew we would come here and.. I know who are the persons we'll meet tomorrow." I turned again and looked at him. He waited some seconds before replying. "We'll meet Legolas reincarnation.. but there will be a problem.. you can't meet your own reincarnation, it would be like meeting yourself.. so Legolas won't be able to see himself, but we all will see him.. and there's more.. your reincarnation is also there.. and you won't be able to see her.. so we all will live confusing things and this will bring problems.."  
  
"But I didn't meet my reincarnation in King Arthur's castle.."  
  
"Because we weren't enough time there, Zana.. you met the reincarnations of Arwen and Aragorn.."  
  
"And.. who was King Arthur?" Haldir kept silence.. I couldn't' imagine nobody who could have loved Arwen, besides Aragorn.  
  
"He was Celeborn.."  
  
"What? Now I'm confused.."  
  
"Because this is difficult to explain.. when you reincarnate, situation changes.. you can be anybody.." I looked at the moon, a headache was coming after all that confusing speech.  
  
"So in Troy I'll meet Legolas reincarnation, and also mine.. but I won't be able to see her, and he won't be able to see him" Haldir nodded. "And.. which is this personal thing about yourself? Will you meet your own reincarnation?"  
  
"It's complicated.. because it seems I didn't live this life.. in this century and in this time.. so.. I'll cause bad things, Zana.. it's not my intention but I'll make a mess"  
  
"How?.." I needed to know more, but he didn't want to speak. He just looked at me.  
  
"I'm sorry, Zana.. about everything.. I've lost faith , I've lost feelings.. and believe me that I'll hurt you in this life." I didn't understand anything.  
  
"It's so difficult to me to have you here when I know that things won't ever be the same.." I whispered, but he didn't show any kind of emotion.  
  
"We must go on sleeping" He stood up, without saying a word.  
  
"I'll stay here for a while" He didn't reply and walked back, disappearing. Tears were coming to my eyes again and I couldn't help starting to cry. More than before, I wanted to die, I wanted to come back.. I wished I had never come to this world.. to that world.. A breeze came , drying my tears. Somehow, all from the sudden I took a strong resolution.. going on with this, whatever would happened.. I remembered all Gandalf's advises, his words, supporting me.. I knew that the whole journey would make sense sooner or later.. Galadriel didn't trust humans too much, but I would show her that she was wrong. I would show her that I didn't give up easily.. because at least, I still had friends. Anyway, tears were still there and I couldn't fight them. Loneliness was what I felt. Haldir would be there, yes.. but I was alone anyway.  
  
----------------- --------------------- --------------------- ---------- ---------------- ------  
  
Haldir wasn't able to sleep.. he couldn't stop thinking about what he had told to Zana.. he felt so bad, because he had lied to her.. he wasn't able to tell her that since they had left the Glastonbury Tor, his feelings towards her had been developed again.. he loved her more than before.. but, remembering Galadriel's words, although she had been wrong, he took the decision. He wouldn't change Zana's destiny just because of feelings.. she needed to be concentrated, and for this, her heart had to be empty.. or else, the mission would fail.. Haldir was making what Galadriel had asked him.. he was doing all possible things to make Zana free. He had stopped her, her heart.. and now Destiny went on for her. He was only worried about what would happen after.. when everything would finish, if it was going to happen.. he would tell her the whole truth.. and he wondered if she would ever forgive him.  
  
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Legolas knew that Haldir and Zana had been talking, but he decided to leave them alone. Now Haldir had come back, but Zana didn't. He waited for some time, to make sure that Haldir was sleeping.. and he stood up, walking towards the door. The moon was still shining, the sea calmed. And he saw her, sitting on the prow, lost in her thoughts. He wanted to go there, hug her.. but the time still hadn't come. After being in the Tor his feelings had come back too, but somehow he knew he should wait. Fighting against his need of joining her, he turned around to go back to the cabin, when he heard her voice.  
  
"Legolas, please, come here" She didn't turn around to say this, but she knew he was there. With a smile, he walked towards her. When he sat close to her, she hugged him, without saying a word. And he hugged her too. They spent the rest of the night in silence. 


	41. Shock

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ********** ************* **************  
  
Another chapter! In few days I won't be here and I would like to advance this story as much as possible.. I'm full of new ideas and I'm also thinking of writing another fic, but I'm a bit lost.. I mean, there are many things to write about, so.. I'm open to suggestions! Thanks for the reviews!  
  
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I get weak when I look at you  
  
Weak when we touch  
  
I can't speak when I look in your eyes  
  
I get weak when you're next to me  
  
Weak from this love  
  
I can't speak when I look in your eyes  
  
I get weak  
  
Convincing eyes, persuasive lips  
  
The helpless heart just can't resist their power  
  
- I get weak - Belinda Carlisle  
  
"Do you remember?" I heard this voice inside my head. I woke up, opened my eyes.. the moon was still there, but the orange light of the sun rising appeared in the horizon. I was alone, and for a moment, I thought I was becoming crazy. I had asked Legolas to stay with me.. but maybe it had been a dream, he wasn't there. I sat down and took a deep breath. I was ashamed of what I had done. But I needed to hug someone.  
  
Many sailors had started to work around me, and one of them offered a breakfast, and when I nodded, he pointed at the door that led to the cabins. He smiled at his own sarcasm, and I shook my head. He didn't understand my language, so it would be impossible to argue with him.  
  
All my friends were already eating when I came. I avoided Haldir's gaze, and sat next to Gimli, too shy to talk to Legolas. The silence was killing me when, fortunately, Achilles met us. He wasn't wearing the helmet and I could prove what I had thought.. he looked exactly like one of the actors I less liked. I couldn't help smiling, thinking of all the millions of girls from my world who would have killed to be in my place. But it wasn't funny at all.. after the conversation with Haldir, I was more and more afraid of arriving in Troy. Something bad was going to happen and we couldn't fight with it.  
  
"Those are my plans" Achilles said, without greeting us, without saying "good morning". He was direct and impulsive, and it seemed he didn't have too many time to explain. "Nobody knows we're going there, we'll attack by surprise.. as soon as we'll approach the coast, two small boats will part from the main ship, carrying some of us.. you, the strangers, will go on different boats, and once you'll arrive in the beach, you'll pretend that you're visitors in Troy, don't mention a word about us" His menacing look was enough for me. "It won't be easy to reach the palace where my people want to go.. but this is a story apart and it's none of your business. Just go there and try to enter like visitors.. change your clothes.. you look too.. strange.." He checked me with a face.  
  
"And then.. what?" Asked Haldir, interested on the maps that Achilles had put over the table. "When will you attack.. and why?"  
  
"I won't give more information, like you didn't give any information to me.. lets say that we can trust on each other.. and this has to be enough.. time will tell" he folded the papers and hurried towards the door, stopping once, to look back. "Zana.. try to change your dress.. here weather is hot and sunny.. you're wearing winter clothes.." I looked at my dress.. and the only thing I could do was to remove the upper part and stay with the white inside of it.. but it was too.. dared for me.. It was a too light dress.. but it had to work. After all we would have to bear summer temperatures. If I was on 21rst century, I wouldn't have cared.. but those times were different.. I had my doubts about walking with a dangerous dress in the Trojan streets.  
  
We finished breakfast in silence, and then I fixed the dress.. it was easy and soon I was wearing more comfortable clothes. I took my bag and packed all the things I needed. Then, after taking a kind of bath in a cabin, inside a small kind of tube, I got dressed and left the place. One under the sun, I noticed the gazes of people over me.. disapproving gazes.. nobody liked the clothes. But I didn't have more choices.  
  
"Zana" Achilles walked towards me, looking at my appearance with a strange face. "The first small boat will part now.. go with four of my men and one of your friends"  
  
"Only one?" But Achilles was paying attention to another thing by then, and I shrugged. Did I have to choose? It seemed so. Haldir gave me a begging look, to my surprise.. I didn't understand that elf. And, remembering our last conversation, I couldn't help feeling angry. "Legolas" I said, and Haldir shook his head while the other elf smiled.  
  
"Come on, go to the boat!!" Achilles shouted, and while they lifted it and carried us to the sea, using the ropes, we went under, like in an elevator.. and the last thing I saw were the faces of Haldir and Gimli looking at us. Yes, like in that movie I didn't want to remember. Once on the sea, the four sailors started their work and we started our journey to the coast.  
  
"Thanks for choosing me" Said Legolas, whispering.  
  
"I don't know why did I do it.." I murmured, looking in the distance, absent minded.  
  
"This is not very kind for your part.." he complained, joking.  
  
"I'm scared of what we'll find there.. " I noticed his blue eyes on me.  
  
"Don't be. We already survived many situations.." I turned to meet his blue gaze and a flashback came to my head.. I suddenly remembered my first meetings with Gandalf.. in one of them, he said that all people from Middle Earth had died.. and that I would meet two elves, and that maybe they died in a battle.. or maybe they died of ..broken hearts.. how could I forget those words? I closed my eyes, ignoring Legolas questions about my health and about if I felt OK. Gandalf had said that everything was in my hands, in my decisions.. I was able to change everything.. to make Legolas and Haldir live forever, to make my world share world with immortal beings and magicians.. but.. would this be safe? Was any warranty ?What if this end would be worse for both worlds? How could I know it? All my past fears returned and I felt dizzy.. I wondered what would happen if I killed myself.. it sounded stupid, yes.. but maybe.. it was the only way to return to my time.. I looked at Legolas, who was worried.  
  
"I was just thinking, Legolas.. " The four sailors started to speak in their own language and I looked in the distance. Land. My heart started beating so fast.. if Trojan soldiers saw us , it would be the end. To my big surprise, when we were near to the beach, those men got so nervous and looked at Legolas, and again to my great surprise, he seemed to understand his intentions, because he pushed me and we both fell inside the water!The boat disappeared fast, in another direction, and I felt Legolas hand taking mine and leading me to the surface, where I took a deep breath. "Are you crazy? What are you doing?" I shouted, but he covered my mouth with his hand.  
  
"Calm down, don't say anything and just follow my actions.. you'll understand soon" And we swam near to the beach, where my feet touched the sandy bottom, and the small waves moved us softly.  
  
"What?" I whispered, when he looked around him and then placed his eyes on mines. Then and before I could react, he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me. All my thoughts were spinning inside my head, and a strange kind of happiness came back to my heart. But soon I realised that Legolas was just trying to save our lives, because near from us, a group of Trojan soldiers were checking the beach. While Legolas went on kissing me, coldly, as I noticed.. I heard their laughs and I understood the elf's intentions.. now we gave a reason to be there, swimming inside the blue water. I relaxed a bit when they left, and this time, Legolas kiss became deeper, but just for some seconds. When he separated, I blushed, and he checked in the distance.  
  
"They're gone".. he murmured, and we went out of the water and walked in the sand. "The soldiers of Achilles knew that the beach would be full of their enemies.. if we hadn't jumped, they would have caught us, and.. well, it's not strange to see a couple ..well.. we had to distract them and it was the only choice.." He explained, as if he was afraid that I would have misunderstood his kiss.  
  
"Where's the boat?" I asked, avoiding the other subject. Legolas sighed.  
  
"The boat is empty, look" He pointed in the distance. "They also jumped on time"  
  
"Well.." I was delighted with the sight of the beach and the blue water.. and the old buildings, like in the Greek empire.. it was like jumping inside a National Geographic documentary, but this time with real rebuild houses.. it was magic.  
  
"They have strange houses.." Legolas commented, and then looked at me with surprised expression. I noticed he avoided my gaze, and then he turned around.  
  
"What?" I asked, but it was obvious. The thing dress I was wearing was completely wet.. and absolutely everything could be seen. "Oh, no.." I murmured, running towards a palm, and hiding behind. "I can't walk like this in the city!"  
  
"I know" Legolas replied, as if I had made a big discovery. "You have to get dry , and at once, Zana.. lay down, I'll go for a walk and check this place" But I felt new fears.. what if something happened while I was alone? But, at the same time, I wasn't able to ask him to stay.. so I chose a place while he disappeared behind some palms. The sun was already high and it was so hot there. I laid down and closed my eyes.  
  
------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- -------- --------------------  
  
"It's the end" Achilles murmured when their boat was caught by the Trojan soldiers. Haldir looked around, nervous, trying to find his friends among the prisoners, but they weren't there. Gimli jumped in the sand, angry.  
  
"Don't touch me, strange guys.. what kind of clothes are those ones? You plan to act in a party or something like this? You're half naked, guys!!" He shouted, but they didn't speak his language. SO he shouted even more, as if with that he would be able to make them understand. But the soldiers pushed him and tied his hands with ropes, like they did to Haldir and Achilles.  
  
"They said they will carry us to the palace, to meet their.. well, I think I understood wrongly.. " Achilles translated, and he looked confused.  
  
"What do you mean?" Haldir whispered as they walked among the Trojans. People in the city looked at them with curious gazes.  
  
"Haldir.. this didn't have to happen.. we were supposed to enter inside a big wooden horse.. not like this.." The warrior frowned, and then his face became pale. "This girl.. she's changing things.."  
  
"Who? Zana? Are you crazy?" Haldir laughed, and one of the soldiers gave him a freezing look and said some words. " I suppose he wants me to shut up, right?" He commented, coming back to his usual sarcasm.  
  
They walked for some minutes when they finally reached a huge stone building.. like a kind of castle, but completely different from all what Haldir and Gimli had seen before. The ground was dry, as if it hadn't rained for the last century.. the sky was so blue and there were no clouds.. the stones of the castle were light yellow, and he observed that they didn't have glass on windows.. probably with those temperatures they didn't need them. Haldir was used to the fresh weather of woods, and that sun was killing him. It was also hard for Gimli, who loved mines and caves.  
  
"Ooooh.. Haldir.. I won't survive here.." The dwarf complained, as they entered in the castle, walking under an arc. Achilles froze, looking in the distance. There was a woman there. She had a beautiful face, and a serious gaze. Soon he couldn't stop watching at her. Haldir noticed that the man was completely absent minded.  
  
"Achilles? Are you feeling OK?" He asked, and the man just nodded.  
  
"It seems I had a vision and now she's gone.." he went on looking at a high tower, and Haldir followed his gaze.. but there was nobody there.  
  
"Come on, they're talking to us and I can't understand anything" Achilles listened for a while, and his face showed a big surprise.  
  
"They don't know me.." He murmured, amazed. "They think we arrived from a foreign country, despite of my Greek clothes.. Greeks are their enemies and they will invite us on their castle.. why?" Haldir was shocked too. Strange things were happening, and he wondered how would Zana's mission end. He was starting to be afraid. "Wait.." Achilles walked some steps and talked to a man, dressed also in strange clothes and with an intelligent look. This man checked Haldir and his sight stopped on the elf's ears.. frowning, he walked towards him.  
  
"I also speak your language, stranger.. who are you? Your skin and hair, and eyes.. you're not Greek.. there's only one more person here who looks similar to you.. our race doesn't have blonde hair and blue eyes.. sure you're descendant of gods and goddesses.. " Haldir thought they had captured Legolas, but the was wrong. The other blonde person they were talking about was a woman. "Yes.." The man went on talking. "She's more beautiful than the sun, the moon and stars al together.. but she's now busy.. you'll meet her soon. Now, come with us.. we'll show you your rooms.. also to this.. small man.." Gimli frowned at those words.  
  
"Small man, small man.. at least I don't walk half naked.." They all came inside the palace, built in white marble and with the most exotic shapes. Fresh air came inside and Haldir felt more alive by them. He was led to a big room with a big marble bath. And for the first time since they arrived in Troy, he remembered about Zana.. he wondered how come he hadn't thought about her before.. and he got scared, feeling that the predictions would come true sooner or later.  
  
---------------------------- --------------------------- ----------------- ------- ---------------------  
  
I touched the dress, with my eyes still closed. It was almost dry. But I didn't want to stand up.. the sun warmed me so much that I was almost asleep.. all my fears were gone and I just wanted to enjoy that peace. A soft fresh breeze came, and the sun didn't hurt my eyes any more.. maybe the palms were moving with wind and now I was under the shadow. But suddenly I remembered that I hadn't lied under the palms, so when I opened my eyes, fast, I couldn't recognise the person over me, because the strong sun rays blinded me. I had to close my eyes again, and I sat down. Slowly, I recuperated my sight, and I saw two legs wearing white long trousers. He was a man, and he was tall. Wearing a light shirt and a necklace, but his head was exactly in the sun's position, so I had to stand up to meet his gaze. And I froze. I wanted to laugh, run or escape.. anything, so nervous I was.  
  
He asked me something, his voice like Legolas voice. I knew he was his reincarnation. His dark eyes checked me, slowly. His long brown hair was moving with the breeze. He was a bit taller than me.. his skin dark because of sun, and a kind look , in spite of his "alert" face. He repeated the question, but I couldn't understand his language.  
  
"This is too good to be true" I said, and he frowned, and again, spoke in his language, this time with a curious tone. "He's exactly like in the movie.." Yes, he was there, in front of me. First Legolas, and now that version of the same man I always had liked. I smiled, but soon I remembered the story. He became crazy about Helen, he kidnapped her and brought the woman to his country, the enemy. He was completely in love with her.. "So I don't have any chances with you, you're already caught.." he frowned again. In some way, it was funny to act like this. I could say anything I wanted, because he wouldn't understand me. He asked something again, this time an ironical tone in his question. "Yes, it's a shame that you already love another woman, because honestly, I wouldn't mind to stay here,in this century, forever, as long as you would be here with me..god, you look really nice in person, Orlando"  
  
"Orlando?" His nice voice asked again, and a bunch of strange words followed that name. I shrugged again.  
  
"I see I should have learnt the classical languages.. it's a shame.. anyway, if I had to tell to a boy how much I like him.. no, no, I think I would prefer to die, you can't imagine how shy I am!" I laughed, and then sighed. "Yes, I would die if I had to tell you that I would do anything to be with someone like you.." I was exaggerating, and joking.. but deep inside I really felt all what I was saying. He went on checking me, this time with an ironical gaze. And spoke again.  
  
"Orlando?" And he pointed at me. I understood and laughed.  
  
"No!No.. I'm Zana. Za- na!" He nodded, and smiled. Oh, what a smile. Maybe the sun had made me drunk, or maybe I had the effects of the rays, maybe I had laid down too many time in the sand, yes.. because I couldn't stop talking. "You can't imagine how much self control I need , because if it was for me, right now I would jump and kiss you and..well, I'm ashamed of myself, uf, although you can't understand me.." He went on smiling, with a strange look in his eyes, and he crossed his arms over his chest. "because I get weak when I look in your eyes, I would really die if.."  
  
"Zana" He said, and his look became sarcastic, and went on speaking with an ironical smile on his lips. "I've been checking many languages with you before showing that I can perfectly speak your language.. it was nice to see that you're not an enemy for me, and now I can bring you with me to the palace where they will take care of you. " I wanted to die. He had played a trick on me. I blushed so much, more than ever before.  
  
"Please, Earth.swallow me." I murmured, wishing that Legolas would come at once.. and then I realised about everything.. Legolas couldn't come.. because that man was his reincarnation.. but.. then.. what if Legolas showed up now? What would happen? "Please, I want to die.. I'm so .. ashamed, I'm very sorry for all what I've said.." He went on smiling.  
  
"No, it's me the one who has to apologise.. I played with you, and this is not a noble action. But it was too good to be true, never before a woman had talked to me like this.." He stopped for a while, thinking. "Well, maybe one or two" Great, he was an arrogant man. Just what I needed.. uf. He looked at me again, with his dark eyes. "Come with me, we'll go to my home.. there you'll meet my future wife" His eyes bright, with a kind of irony. He wanted to test my reaction, but I already knew about her.  
  
"So.. how is Helen?" I had to say it and.. it was a big mistake. He stopped, all from the sudden, as if I had said something terrible. He left my arm and looked with anger.  
  
"How do you know this?" he spoke slowly.  
  
"Well, you're Paris, right?" he became pale, if it was possible under that dark skin.  
  
"You're a spy.. who sends you?" He took his sword.  
  
"No! I'm .. not.." But he took a small rope and tied my hands. "What are you doing? Let me explain!!" I shouted.  
  
"You won't talk until we'll be in a closed and safe place. You'll go to the prisoner's room"  
  
"What?" He forced me to walk towards the city.  
  
------------------------- -------------------------- --------------------- ---- ---------------  
  
Legolas heard Zana's shouts and came running to the beach. There was nobody there.  
  
"Zana?" he shouted. Nothing. "Oh, no.." He ran towards the streets, looking for her. He could feel her presence, but it was as if there was an invisible barrier between them.. a strange optical effect.. he could hear her indeed.. but not see her..so he followed her voice to the crowded streets, until they arrived in a big palace. He hid behind a barrel of wine, and saw his friends inside, walking with an old man. "Well, it's about time to finish with this" 


	42. Why me?

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ********** ************* *************  
  
Hello again!And first of all, thank you very very much for your reviews!! By the way, this story is not finishing at all!I mean, I plan to make it a lot longer, so long that nobody will be able to read it from the beginning because they'll get bored! : ) I like writing it, too much to finish it.. : ) Maybe I'm complicating things too much? : )  
  
********************** ************************* *******************  
  
Mystery deep in the royal heart  
  
Crying at night, I wanna be apart  
  
Prince, oh prince, are you really sincere?  
  
Bet you one day you're gonna disappear  
  
My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?  
  
To have the Kingdom, baby, tell me why?  
  
My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?  
  
To rule the Country, baby, you and I?  
  
If you were my King, I would be your queen...  
  
- My oh, my - Aqua  
  
When I woke up I was in a cellar.. all I remembered was the fight.. Paris had tied my hands and left me in front of one of the three doors of the Trojan wall. A troop of soldiers had come to take me, and I resisted.. a big mistake, because they beat me and I fell on the ground. Then everything became black.  
  
It was a small room, and the ground was made of stone. Not like in a jail.. there was food stored. I supposed they were keeping me there until they decided something. I sat down, touching my head. There was a wound over my forehead, and it hurted. But that wasn't important.. the important thing was that I was alive.. but lost. Alone. Without possibilities of escaping.  
  
Standing up, I walked towards the door, and heard some voices outside. I couldn't understand the language. Two women. When the steps came to the door, I separated a bit. An old woman opened it and looked at me kindly, speaking in that unknown tongue. She was asking me something, but I just shrugged. Then ,she laughed and took my hand. I followed her, while my heart was beating so fast. I was carried upstairs, to the luxurious part of the palace. It was so wonderful, and for a while, I forgot about all my worries.  
  
The woman opened a door, and I saw a huge room full of girls, who looked nervous and happy. They were shouting, laughing and choosing clothes. And suddenly I remembered that Trojans had more than one wife.. that looked like.. a harem? No, I didn't want to think about that. The woman left me there, alone. A girl with black long hair came and greeted me.  
  
"I'm sorry, I don't speak your language.." She smiled and shouted something. All the girls turned around and one of them looked at me sharply.  
  
"I know your tongue.. but we all know who are you.. why are you pretending that you can't speak Trojan?"  
  
"What?" I asked, confused, while they all checked me, with envy maybe?  
  
"You, stupid poor girl.. how did you manage to be selected? You don't belong to royalty! I've sailed hundreds of miles from my kingdom, just to become one of his wives.. they.." She pointed at the rest of girls " They come from the most noble families in the world.. but you.. you're just a servant and you were chosen.. just because a stupid old man talked to the King.. you.." For a moment I thought she would beat me, but then she calmed down, and kneeled on the ground, in front of me. "Please, leave this palace.. go away.. I must marry him.."  
  
"Who?" All the girls shouted, as if I was crazy. "I mean.. someone knocked on my head.." I showed them the wound " And now I can't remember anything.." I lied, and it seemed it worked, because the face of the girl who had been speaking to me became kinder.  
  
"My apologies.. " She murmured, but then attacked again. "So.. you don't remember anything.. well, I'll tell you.. you're just a stupid servant of the King.. but.. wait a minute.." She stood up, as if she was scared. "How come a servant can speak a foreign language?"  
  
"Because I'm not a servant!!" I shouted, loosing my patience.  
  
"Of course you are! You live in the out part of the city, near to the beach, and the stupid old friend of the King chose you! You don't deserve to be here.." She murmured, leaving. I remembered Haldir's words.. I lived this life. so I was here already, before I had come. And they were confusing me.. they thought I was the Zana who lived in Troy.. but I wasn't.. I had to escape. This other girl would appear sooner or later, and I wouldn't be able to see her. I couldn't meet my double, like Legolas couldn't meet his.  
  
"Where do you think you're going? You have to take a bath and get dressed for the ceremony" The girl shouted at me, when I was leaving to the halls.  
  
"Ceremony?" I asked, and she showed me her dress in the distance.  
  
"Tonight, the King will choose wives among the selected ones.. I was the only selected until you appeared.. now you're my rival.. and I won't show pity. " That sounded like a threaten. I returned to the room where the bath was waiting for me. My head was full of information, useless information. I was lost, I had to escape from there.. everything was getting more and more complicated. I was acting like a person I wasn't .. well, I was her, but we couldn't live at the same time.  
  
I took a bath, the water was full of special perfumes and soaps. My hair was too long, and I needed to cut it. But it wouldn't be a good idea, not in that century. When I dried, three servants came running, and gave me a strange dress, a blue one, almost transparent. One of them started to fix my hair, curling it with special tools, and then she put a kind of jewel holding it over my forehead. I put the dress and they gave me bracelets and a necklace. My wrists were full of those golden metals, and I wore sandals on my feet. I was going to leave the room when they held me again. Make up. A lot of make up. When I looked in the mirror I couldn't recognise myself. I looked like a real Trojan girl.  
  
--------------------- -------------------------- ------------------------- -- -------------------  
  
"A big event will take place tonight" Haldir looked at the old man while he spoke. "One of my wives is already preparing everything for the ceremony"  
  
"What kind of?" Gimli asked, and the old man looked at him, angry.  
  
"You can't talk unless I'm quiet.." The dwarf murmured something, and walked towards a window. Haldir was sitting on a small sofa, and Achilles was in a corner, leaning against a high marble column. There was something about that old man he didn't like. "I'm the King of Troy, Priam. And we have some rules here.. we're being condescending with language.. I should be speaking Trojan, but.." He pointed at them "I'm being kind with you, and I speak this one.. " He started walking around the big room, slowly. "Tonight we'll choose the new wife.. "  
  
"New?" Haldir was scandalised. "But.. if he's already married.. if he's in love.."  
  
"No, my guest.. you don't understand anything.. he must have more than one wife.. it's the tradition..oh, here he comes" The door opened and a young man came in. He looked at Haldir and Gimli, and then he turned to meet Achilles. His dark eyes shone.  
  
"What's wrong, father? " When he spoke, Haldir and Gimli looked at each other. He had Legolas voice.  
  
"His reincarnation.." Haldir whispered, and checked the face of the man standing there. He looked alike the elf.  
  
"We have new guests, son.. Haldir, Gimli, Achilles.. this is my son, the Prince Paris" Achilles face turned into red, and he took his sword.  
  
"You.. you! You stole what belonged to Greece!!" He jumped to attack Paris, but didn't succeed. Paris took his sword and fought, and after some seconds a troop of soldiers caught Achilles, while the king smiled.  
  
"Yes.. Greeks had already come.. I knew it.." He looked at them while they left, and then turned around to meet Haldir. " I suppose you found them by coincidence, right? " Haldir nodded, surprised with the intelligence of that man. "So tell me.. what were you doing, in the middle of the sea? Alone with this.. man?" He looked at Gimli.  
  
"We got lost.. we come from.. England.." The King frowned.  
  
"You come from distant places I don't know.. but your language is common.. which was the purpose of your journey?" His intelligent gaze was on Haldir's eyes all time.  
  
"We wanted to know the islands.. we heard about them.." He tried to sound convincing, but the king and the prince looked at each other.  
  
"And you used a small boat to cross the sea.. don't lie to me, I'm not stupid" He stopped walking.  
  
"I'm not lying. The problem is that we can't remember anything.. I don't know how did I arrive here.. we woke up in a small boat.." Haldir looked at Gimli with nervous face.  
  
"Well, well.. " The king's voice was kind again. "You can stay here for two days.. then, disappear. Never come back. We're waiting for a war, and I don't want to have more extra worries" He walked towards the door and left. Paris checked the two friends.  
  
"Strange things are happening today.." He looked confused. "A lonely girl on the beach, sleeping in the sun.. who speaks a foreign language.. and who seems to know everything about me.." He saw Haldir's face changing. " I see that you're affected by this remark, man.. why?" His dark eyes shone while he approached.  
  
"I just think that it's a strange story.. it doesn't affect me at all" Haldir found very hard to tell lies. It was something new for him. But he couldn't hide his worries.. obviously that girl was Zana.. and she had made a big mistake saying details about history.. people would think she was a spy.  
  
"And then Achilles.. I knew he would come.. but.. this is not your business. Now, go to your rooms and get ready for dinner. It will be a nice event" He said good bye with a smile, while leaving the room.  
  
"I don't like them" Gimli murmured, looking at Haldir. "They found Zana, and they don't say where is she!! They have her hidden, and Legolas is missing!"  
  
"I know, I know.. by the moment we can't do anything. Calm down, they can't discover who are we.. so shut up" Haldir looked through the windows. The blue sea in front of them was full of big ships, waiting in the harbour. The sun was already near from the horizon. Night was coming.  
  
Haldir was walking in the halls, going to his room, lost in his thoughts. He was trying to find out a way to leave Troy and arrive in another century. But the thing that most worried him was Gandalf. He still hadn't shown up, under any shape or character. And he said he would be there.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you" He had met a young woman turning around a corner. She stopped, but didn't say anything. Probably she didn't speak his language. But it didn't care.. because Haldir was shocked. He checked her and felt something very strange inside him. He couldn't speak, and she seemed to be suffering the same effect. She had blushed deeply, and then smiled. Haldir almost fainted. Her blonde hair was long, and her blue eyes were the nicest eyes he had ever seen before. Her face was perfect, like everything on her. She looked more like an elf than like a human.  
  
"I can speak a bit of your tongue.." She murmured, shyly. He found himself smiling like a child.  
  
"Then I can introduce myself.. I'm Haldir.. I'm a guest here.."  
  
"I know.." She interrupted, and looked at him with a provocative gaze. "I saw you when you arrived here.." They both stared at each other for a while. "I'm Helen.." Her voice was so nice that he could have been listening to her for hours. Then she turned around and left, giving him a last smile. He needed some minutes to react. It had happened.. the thing he had feared all that time. He had met Helen of Troy.  
  
------------------------ ------------------------- ----------------------- -- --------------------  
  
Legolas walked around the wall of the palace, looking for an entry. But there were too many soldiers around it. He was nervous, wishing to meet Zana and his friends. Somehow he felt that things wouldn't be so easy in that century as they were in England.. now everything turned into a mess.. they al were separated and Gandalf still hadn't shown up.  
  
He walked in the crowded streets, his blue eyes searching that new world. Each and every small detail was new for him , the people, their dark eyes.. he thought that only Zana had those black eyes.. but in that land, the strange was him.. with his long blonde hair and his blue eyes.. and his rare clothes. He felt observed. And then, shocked. Going out from a small house, he saw Zana.. but a different one.. her skin was darker, because of sun.. and she was wearing different clothes. A long skirt and a light shirt, carrying boxes with fruits. Her hair was even longer, and she looked scared.  
  
"Zana, what are you doing here?" He didn't expect the woman's reaction, she screamed something in a strange language and ran inside the house. "Zana.." He whispered, and followed her. She was inside, crying, and shaking, speaking something he couldn't understand. And he kneeled in front of her, with his hand over her shoulder. But she jumped and looked angry. "What's wrong? What happened to you?" His blue eyes looked at her. And for the first time, she looked at him directly, calming a bit. She was breathing strongly. "OK, it seems you're not Zana.. but you're exactly like her.. this is amazing.. well, maybe it's something about reincarnations, I don't know.. but you shouldn't be afraid of me.." She shook her head, and then looked around, looking for something and making a sign with her hand. Legolas waited. After few seconds she came back with a young man, who looked surprised to see him there. The spoke something and Legolas stood up.  
  
"She said you speak this language.." He commented, and Legolas smiled.  
  
"Finally, I'm able to talk to someone.. I'm sorry if I scared her.." The man translated and she smiled, exactly like Zana.  
  
"She thought you were coming to bring her to palace.." His eyes darkened and looked angry.  
  
"Why? No, I arrived here in a small boat.. I lost my friends, they were captured inside palace.. and I was looking for help.. and then I found her.. it's amazing but she looks like my friend, they're' so.. similar.. I mean, they're the same one.. so I thought she was Zana.. and then I realised I was wrong." His blue eyes looked at her sadly. "Please, you have to help me to come inside the palace"  
  
"Who are you?" He asked, checking the elf. "Your clothes are so different.."  
  
"I can't remember where I come from.. neither of us.. but we must leave Troy.. a war is coming.."  
  
"We know it.. we also know that an old man ordered the king to choose her for the wedding.."  
  
"What?" Legolas asked with the same face as Haldir, some moments before.  
  
"An old man, the king's best friend.. they were selecting new brides for the wedding.. and once he was walking near from here and saw her.. my poor Atelia.." She took his hand, scared, as if she understood the meaning of his words. "She was chosen for tonight's ceremony.. but they still didn't come to look for her.. I won't allow them to take her away.. we'll escape from Troy tonight.."  
  
"But this is amazing.." Legolas face changed, and he opened his eyes. "Oh, no! Now I understand.. they took Zana, thinking that she was Atelia!!" The man watched at him, and then smiled, talking to the girl in his own language.  
  
"I'm sorry for you, but this is too good to be true!! Now we can escape and nobody will notice it! Your friend saved our lives.." He took Legolas hands, looking at him gratefully. But Legolas was too shocked.  
  
"No, it's not good, they have her, they will force her to stay here! Oh, why? You have to help me. ..please, give me some clothes.. I can't walk dressed like this.. and please, tell me about the palace.. how can I come in?" Legolas begged, and the man nodded.  
  
"All right.. here.." He went to his room and came back with a bag. He picked up some clothes. "Part of my clothes.. this is a present for the good news you brought.. and now, wait a minute.." He left him alone with Atelia. She was smiling and took his hand.  
  
"Thank you" She whispered, with a strange accent.  
  
"I only hope that with your escape, future won't change too much.. you were destined to marry another person and live here.. and I came from another world to change everything.. " She shrugged, confused. The man came back.  
  
"Well, this is the palace " He drew a square. "It's rounded by a high wall.. but you won't have problems if you carry those boxes with fruits.. you have to say those words in my language.. " He wrote them on the strange kind of paper. "They will think you're the man of the fruit shop.. and they will lead you to the kitchens, where I used to bring food from here. Once in the kitchen, open the second door that will carry you to the halls.. the rooms are in the first floor.. but be careful.. and.. I would recommend you to hide your .. ears.. they're strange.." Legolas covered them with his long hair.  
  
"This is everything I need to know?" He asked, impatiently. The man nodded.  
  
"I will always be in debt with you, strange man.."  
  
"Legolas.. I'm Legolas" The man opened his eyes.  
  
"Strange name indeed.. I'm Marco.. I'm Roman.. and you already know her.. " Atelia smiled. "And now, we must leave.. night is coming.. again, thank you very much for saving her future.." He shook his hand and the three left the house. " Here you have the keys.. stay here and then take the boxes.. and good luck, my new friend" Legolas looked at them as they left, walking in the streets. Atelia was covering her face. They disappeared behind a corner.  
  
"Great.." Legolas murmured, entering the house. He ate something and drank a whole jar of water. Then , he took a bath and changed his clothes, tied his hair in a pony tail, hiding the ears. "It's time to change things again"  
  
---------------------- -------------------------- ----------------------- --- -----------------  
  
We had to wait in a small room, it was already dark outside. I could see the fire lamps in the harbour, the sea in the distance. There were more girls with us, I wondered why, if the selected ones were only two. And I wondered who was the old man who chose me.. or my double.. maybe he was Gandalf.. with that thought I recuperated part of my hope. But it wasn't sure yet. I would have to wait. And the waiting was killing me. The sharp girl, who hated me, suddenly became kinder. She was talking about the king, and I couldn't imagine who was him.. I had a lack of History knowledge, and I wished more than ever to have a book from 21rst century.  
  
"And then we'll come in the huge party room, where lots of persons will be looking at us.." She was explaining, proudly. "And there you will also find his main wife, the one he chose over all of us.. because his heart belongs to her.. but I don't care" She made a face, as if she was angry.  
  
"The king will choose another one? Why? I mean, if he's already married and.." The girl's face changed its expression.  
  
"Are you crazy? Of course important people have more than one wife! You're an ignorant servant.." She looked at me disgusted.  
  
"I'm already tired of you, you know? And I don't want to marry.." I looked in the distance, the moon shining in the sky, and heard again her horrible voice.  
  
"Don't ever say this in front of the King Priam!"  
  
"Priam??" I almost fainted. "He's an old.. man..!" I remembered him indeed.. but he was too old, I could never be with someone like him, I could never love a person of his age, he was about seventy years old" "No, I must leave" I stood up, and the girl watched at me.  
  
"What are you talking about?" And suddenly, she smiled, as if she had discovered something. "Oh, of course.. you'll have to marry the old King Priam.." Her voice sounded fake, and I looked at her. "So.. if you don't want to marry an old man.. then you can go.." There was something in her eyes that I didn't like.. she looked too happy, all from the sudden.. how could she be in love with a very old man? And why would an old man want to marry? Many things weren't clear to me in that moment.  
  
"Wait a minute.. why do you want to marry him? " I asked, and she blushed, and looked confused.  
  
"Well, he's a king.." She blinked, tried to look innocent. I tried to remember, forcing my memory. Did that king have a son? I couldn't remember.. I felt useless..  
  
"OK; you win, I leave.. but how can I escape from here? " She looked delighted, and stood up so fast that I thought she had jumped the whole room.  
  
"Go, there, to the balcony.. and then, run towards the harbour.." She was smiling happily.  
  
"I think it's not so easy to leave the palace.." I didn't trust her at all.  
  
"Do you think I would lie to you? Ill be one of his wives! All I want is to make you disappear, and if you escape and don't ever return.. " I nodded.  
  
"OK, OK, I catch it" I walked towards the balcony. All the girls were looking at me, scared. The sharp girl whose name I still didn't know, ordered them to shut up. But just in that moment a soldier came in. I heard a cry of disgust.  
  
"Girl.. they call us to meet the King.." She looked so disappointed that I couldn't help feeling happy for staying there. Sure, there was something waiting for me that all girls wanted.. and maybe it would help me to come back with my friends. But the idea of marrying Priam.. that.. killed me.  
  
We walked in line, through the halls, and heard the sound of hundreds of voices in the huge room. I felt so nervous, I almost couldn't walk. The soldiers stopped, and we came inside the place. I opened my mouth in surprise.. the walls seemed to be decorated with jewels.. the windows without glasses showed the sea and the starry night.. hundreds of guests were sitting on tables, and I tried to look for my friends, but they didn't allow me. They forced me to stay in a corner, and wait for the King.  
  
He came in the room, followed by a group of people.. but I only paid attention to his face.. his old face, that maybe I would have to kiss.. I didn't like his gaze, his expression.. I didn't like anything on him, and I wondered how come all those girls were fighting for having him as a husband. I felt sick. People applauded and then, they all sat down.  
  
"Hello, my friends.." To my surprise, he spoke in my language, and another man was translating.. but why? How many people there spoke English? I looked in the distance, and saw a blonde head. My heart beating so fast, I wanted to shout "I'm here!", but he was too far away.. and maybe, he was an unknown person.. how could I be sure? The King went on speaking. "We're here because tonight we'll take a big and important decision" He looked at all of us, and stopped his gaze on me. For a while, he kept silence. Then, suddenly, walked and came by my side. "So you're the last one who was chosen.. my dear friend insisted a lot.. I can't understand why.. they say you're a servant.. who speaks the language of the two foreigners I've met today.."  
  
"Oh, my god.. they're safe!" I said, and the King's face became serious. He beat my face with his hand.  
  
"Don't speak while I'm speaking" He could have killed me with his gaze, and I heard noises in the distance, as if someone was fighting. "I can't understand why my friend wanted you.." he looked back, and an old man with a dark tunic came. When I saw his face, all my fears were gone. He was Gandalf. I smiled, but he remained serious. As if he didn't recognise me.  
  
"She's a good choice, Priam. Trust me." I felt angry with Gandalf.. How come did he allow that? I was forced to marry a horrible old man, why did he allow that? I wanted to shout on his face, asking for an explanation.. Galadriel had failed Haldir.. and now Gandalf had betrayed me? But suddenly I saw a smile in his blue eyes, hidden under his long white hair, and a voice inside my head. "Trust me" The king returned to his place, followed by Gandalf. I tried to look who else was there.. but there were too many people standing still.  
  
"Now the second wife will be chosen.." The King went on, looking at me. I felt ill again. The sharp girl was smiling happily. I couldn't understand her.. but.. then I did. "Please, come here, my son". The King said, and the big wooden door opened. Paris. My heart almost stopped beating. He was a prince, and he was Priam's son! I froze. Legolas reincarnation was a Prince, and he was going to marry more than one girl. I had to escape from that century.  
  
Paris walked towards us, a sad expression on his face. His father looked at him ,and asked something in Trojan. Paris shook his head and I heard the word "Helen". His heart was broken, or this is seemed. The King looked back at me, with anger in his eyes.  
  
"Look what your friends have done.. look" He pointed at Paris, and when he saw me, he gave me a surprised look.  
  
"You!" He shouted, and then, walked towards me. "You're the girl from the beach.." His dark eyes checked me. "I didn't recognise you with those clothes.. and this hair.." He touched my head, slowly. For a moment his eyes bright with a kind expression, but soon he looked sad again. "And you came with those strange men.. you all spoiled my life.." I didn't want to speak, afraid of the King's reaction.  
  
"Forget it, my son.. now, you must choose" An evil expression on Paris face made me scared. His eyes smiled evilly too, and then nodded. People held their breathings.. waiting..  
  
"I choose her" He pointed at me, and the girls behind me screamed sadly. But I didn't feel happy, I knew he had a plan, I knew his choice had a double intention.. revenge. 


	43. We'll fly with you

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana *********** ****************  
  
Two years ago, also on Christmas, this song was very popular in Spain, it brings me very good memories.. *sigh* And I remembered it today, it's the perfect one for this chapter! : ) More confusion : ) Thanks for reviewing!  
  
************ ***************+ ************* ****************  
  
I still believe in your eyes  
  
I just don't care what  
  
You have done in your life  
  
Baby I'll always be here by your side  
  
Don't leave me waiting too long  
  
Please come by  
  
I still believe in your eyes;  
  
There is no choice,  
  
I belong to your life  
  
Because I will live  
  
To love you someday;  
  
You'll be my baby  
  
And we'll fly away  
  
And I'll fly with you,  
  
I'll fly with you - Gigi D'Agostino  
  
"My son doesn't need a new wife.." Priam looked at his old friend, who turned around to meet his gaze. "I thought we had decided to abolish this law.. why did you insist so much?" The guest removed his cloak, showing his face and intelligent blue eyes.  
  
"I know you since you were young, Priam. and I always gave you good advises, right?" The King nodded with a smile. "So trust me now.. this girl can help us.. but not in the way you think"  
  
"You're acting mysteriously, and you know I don't like enigmas.. so please, tell me .. why this girl?"  
  
"There's a mystery on each way we choose.. for some reasons she arrived here, like she did many other times.."  
  
"What do you mean?" His confused gaze checked the old man.  
  
"Trust me, Priam. She must be here.. she was destined to be chosen by Paris. I don't know why, but it has to be like this. My instinct works and it made me act like this. She will bring the peace to Troy"  
  
" I have my doubts.." The both men went on walking in the halls, in silence.  
  
---------------------- -------------------------- ------------------------ --- -------------------------  
  
Legolas had a bad feeling when he was walking in the streets, carrying the boxes with fruits. It was already dark, the moon shinning in the sky. With the new clothes nobody paid attention to him, so he was free to approach the palace without being noticed. A soldier stopped him, and remembering the words in Trojan, he spoke.  
  
"I bring fruit for the ceremony" He wished his accent couldn't be noticed. The soldier checked him for a while, and then nodded, opening the gate to the palace. Legolas walked towards the main building, where the lights were already shining and the voices if hundreds of people could be heard. His blue eyes shone with a special bright in the darkness, almost like a cat. A shape from a window noticed it, and moved his hands, like making signs. He went on walking, ignoring the person who was spying him. The tower was too high and he couldn't distinguish him clearly.. but for a while, he thought it was a woman. Checking again, he noticed she had long curly hair and a typical Trojan dress. That couldn't be Zana.  
  
The kitchen's door opened and a crowd of servants came to talk to him, talking in their own language. Legolas just smiled, and left quickly, walking to the gardens. He crossed a path that led to a big fountain, where two persons were having a conversation in low voice. He didn't want to interrupt, turning around , and walking back to the building. Once there, he saw a group of people leaving a room. The ceremony had ended.. the Prince had already chosen wife.. but.. who was him and where was he? He had arrived too late. With a sigh, went back to the gardens, thinking of possible solutions.  
  
---------------- ------------------- --------------------- -------------- ---------- ----------------  
  
One hour before..  
  
"You must come with me.." She begged, taking his hand and leading him to the gardens. "Please.."  
  
"Helen.. I can't go on with this.. we've just met! It's crazy!"  
  
"I'm only asking you to help me.. I don't agree with the decision of a second wife.. I won't share anybody with another woman.."  
  
"And I do understand you, Helen.. but this is not the best solution.." He murmured, while she came closer.  
  
"Why not? I know you like me.."  
  
"But I don't love you" Her face became angry. She always got what she wanted from men, but that one was too stubborn. She wanted to get a revenge on Paris, but it wouldn't be so easy. Haldir was different from all men she had known before. "And my heart belongs to another person, you won't get anything from me.." He was sad when he realised that he wasn't too convinced about that.. Helen had really caught him. He knew that this would happen. She really had a power, something irresistible.  
  
"I won't go to the ceremony. It would be too hard for me.." She sat on a bank, n front of a big fountain, and started to cry. Haldir sat with her, without knowing what to do.  
  
"Helen.. I don't know anything about your traditions, but.. I'm sure that sleeping with me wouldn't solve anything.. tomorrow you would feel even worse.. and I just can't do it if my head is wondering where this girl I love can be now.." She looked at him, sadly.  
  
"So.. how is she?" Haldir smiled a bit, remembering Zana's face. But soon his expression changed. He looked at Helen, so beautiful under the moonlight.  
  
"The truth is that I can't remember her well.. what's happening to me?" He frowned, trying to make his mind clear. He was an elf, and he was falling under the tricks of an intelligent human .. But she was too beautiful to be evil..  
  
"You can't remember her because you're starting to love me.." She stood up. "Come with me, Haldir.. lets go to the beach.." Haldir shook his head, trying to resist.. but when he felt her hand over his shoulder, and those blue eyes smiling, he knew that destiny couldn't be stopped. He knew that the predictions would come true.. he had to think of something before doing anything..  
  
They both left, when someone arrived in the fountain. He looked around, angry. Paris knew that Helen had been there, he heard her voice.. and the voice of a man.. watching in the distance, two blonde heads were leaving towards the port. "The new guest.. Haldir.. he's leaving with Helen.." His whisper was full of anger. He wasn't guilty of his father's decision about a new wife.. he couldn't fight that, the Law was the Law.. but Helen was too clever.. he knew she would make him have a bad time for that.. he had hurt her, and now she was going to hurt him.. In that moment, all what he wished was that the old friend of his father died.. his advises had spoiled his life.. like the arrival of the mysterious guests. When the music sounded inside palace, he knew that the ceremony had just began. He would respond to that action.. Helen wanted to betray him, probably because that strange man had forced her.. he was too angry to think clearly. After all what he had done for her.. travelling to Greece, risking two empires.. causing a war.. and now this.. things wouldn't stay like that.  
  
------------------------------ -------------------------- ---------------- ---------- ------------------  
  
After the ceremony, two soldiers led me to a new room, inside a high tower. When I came in, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.. the most luxurious place I had ever seen before.. carpets, pillows, a bit marble bath, and open windows where the fresh night breeze was coming in. A bunch of candles in a corner gave a magical light to that place. I wondered if that was my room.. it looked too expensive for a guest.  
  
I walked towards the door, and when I tried to open it, I realised it was locked. I was a prisoner! My heart was beating so fast, and I ran to the windows, looking for a way to escapee. But the tower was to high. The moon was shining, and the yard could be seen.. and a blonde head.. carrying boxes.. but.. that way of walking.. those movements.. he was an elf! I wanted to shout, but it would be too dangerous.. so I moved my hands, my arms.. I almost fell from the window.. and I captured his attention.. but.. he left! He left me there! I felt tears in my eyes.. there was nothing I could do.. things were too complicated for all of us.. Gandalf didn't help me.. and I was alone.  
  
I heard steps , and turned around, scared. Paris came in, and locked the door behind him. For a while, he stood there, watching at me. I tried to calm down.. after all, he was Legolas reincarnation.. his voice, his similar face.. he couldn't be a bad person.. he was just spoiled, because of the century where he was born ,the place where he had grown up.. but deep inside, he had to be good.. he was.. "Legolas".. if I closed my eyes while he spoke, I could see Legolas talking to me..  
  
"Why did you all come here?" He said, walking slowly towards me. He leaned against the column, just a few steps from me. His dark eyes looked angry, sad. I took a deep breath.  
  
"It's a long story.." I whispered, noticing that I wasn't able to speak loud. I was scared.  
  
"I have the whole night to listen to you" I didn't like the soft tone on his voice.. it was menacing.. and at the same time, I couldn't help thinking about how nice he looked in that moment.. I got angry with myself for thinking it.. after all, I was in a complicated situation. We looked at each other for a while.  
  
"But you won't believe me.. you'll think I'm lying and then.." I was almost crying, shaking. "Then you'll order to kill me, and.." I stopped talking when I saw a funny expression in his eyes.  
  
"Kill you? What kind of people do you think we are?" He was smiling, yes.. but I was still shaking. He came closer. "Why don't you start from the beginning?" He asked, and showed me the pillows on the ground, where I sat down. He sat with me too. I couldn't help noticing how close he was.. if he wanted to make me nervous, he had got it. The room was dark, the candles and the moon were the only light there..  
  
"Well.. you will think I'm crazy, but.." Before I started talking, I thought for a moment.. maybe it wouldn't be safe to tell the truth.. sure, he wouldn't believe my story, and I would risk too much. So I decided to use my imagination, and created my own tale.  
  
"Just talk, and then I'll decide if you're crazy or not" He smiled again, that smile.. concentrate, I told to myself.  
  
"I can't explain how did we arrive here.. like my friends, all what I remember is a ship coming to rescue us.. and then, I appeared alone in the beach, where I saw you.." He nodded, and I wished that my imagination was faster.. I had to think of something easy to believe and, at the same time, I couldn't run any risk. "And then, I was brought here.." I was amazed, I just couldn't invent anything.. he seemed to be lost in his thoughts, and then looked in my eyes.  
  
"And this is the whole complicated story?" I blushed under his gaze, and nodded. He took a deep breath and I waited, nervous. "You're making things complicated.. Zana." He remembered my name. He remembered our first meeting.  
  
"I'm sorry, I just can't.." But he asked me to shut up with a movement of his hand. My heart was beating so fast again.  
  
"I'll tell you my theory about all of you.. you came with Achilles from Greece.. probably you were visitors there , who wanted to know new places.. and he brought you here but under a condition.. that you would be his own spies..".. I shook my head.  
  
"What are you saying?" I murmured, and he smiled.  
  
"So once here, Haldir seduced Helen.." I was shocked. Haldir? Helen? When did Paris meet Haldir? Again, tears came to my eyes. "I see that you're affected by this.. maybe Haldir was your husband?" I shook my head, unable to speak. Haldir and Helen.. when did that happen? Now I understood why I was chosen.. he wanted to get a revenge on Haldir, because he stole his bride.. but.. how could Haldir do that?  
  
"Haldir is not my husband.." I murmured, my voice shaking. I felt a tear on my face, and , to my big surprise, Paris lifted his hand and dried it.  
  
"Now you know how I feel" He whispered, with sadness in his eyes.  
  
"I'm not in any kind of relationship with Haldir" I said, firmly. "If I'm crying is because I see everything lost.. nobody will believe us.. we're not spies.." Paris didn't stop looking at me.  
  
"I'm sure you feel something about this man.. and now he's with my bride.. "  
  
"And you chose me because you wanted to pay him with the same coin? But why? You don't know me, you don't love me.. it wouldn't be the same.. so I don't know why are you doing this to me. I don't know why don't you let me go.. I need to see my friends.. they're all what I have in this moment.." He moved on his seat, in order to look at my face better. Then , I saw a kind of smile in his eyes.  
  
"I know this sounds stupid, but.. I have the feeling that we've already met before.." His dark eyes were so close to mines. He noticed the surprise in my face. "What? You also feel the same?" He asked this quickly. Great, how would I explain him that he was the reincarnation of one of the persons I loved?  
  
"Maybe." I whispered. Then, he leaned on the pillows.  
  
"Once I had a dream.. I lived in a forest.. my hair was long and blonde, and my eyes were blue.. I was walking, looking for a kind of.. animal, or enemy.. I don't know.. and I saw a girl standing there.. she was lost, and confused.." He moved again, and sat down. "She was very similar to you.." I almost couldn't breath. He had dreamt of my first meeting with Legolas.. with himself, in another time. "What's wrong?" he asked, frowning. I felt dizzy.  
  
"This is the first memory I have about my life.. about my life in this world." I was sure that he wouldn't understand my words.. his dark eyes checked mines.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"The first thing I can remember.. was the day I appeared in a forest, and met a blonde man there.. before that moment, everything is dark.." I lied. It would be too complicated to tell him that I was coming from the future.  
  
"So you really lost your memory.. but before coming here.. then, tell me how did you decide to arrive in Troy, and don't lie to me any more.." Now his voice was kinder than before.  
  
"Everything began in England.. well, a land in the North.. full of forests.. there I met my friends.. we've been together for many time.. one day we took a ship, and we got lost.. after many days sailing, half dead.. Achilles found us.." I wished he believed me.. and it seemed so.  
  
"This makes more sense.." He murmured, not too convinced yet. And I was really falling for him, I couldn't help that. It was too much for me. Having him so close.. all what I wanted in that moment was to tell him the whole truth. "Why are you looking at me like this?" He asked, softly, and I blushed.  
  
"I'm sorry, I was just thinking.." My thoughts were on Haldir.. I felt pain. "How do you know that.. well, that Helen is with Haldir?" Paris face changed.  
  
"I saw them.. I heard them talking.. they left together, to the beach" I noticed the pain on his face.  
  
"You do love her, right?" I asked, and he looked at me.  
  
"I caused a war between two empires when I brought her here.. what do you think?" He smiled sadly. "And after all what I did for her.. she left with the first man she met.. people warned me about this.. she's not a reliable person.. she had done this before.. but I was too blind, she has a kind of magic to attract men.. she's so beautiful.. so pretty.." He looked in the distance. And I felt ugly, horrible.. All kind of sad thoughts came to my head.. after being with such a perfect woman, Haldir would never see me like before again.. I was a common girl. Too plain.  
  
"I wish I had someone who loved me like this.. who loved me so much that he wouldn't mind stealing me away from my world causing a chaos .." I murmured, and Paris looked at me.  
  
"I'm sure you have someone, but you don't know him yet.." We looked at each other.  
  
"Thank you, but.." I whispered.  
  
"But.. what?" He smiled.  
  
" I was thinking that I will never be like Helen.. as pretty as her.. I don't have this magic power or whatever it is.. I'm just a common girl who wouldn't make a thousand ships sail.." I used the famous words from the legend.. a face that made one thousand ships part..  
  
"Each person is special on their own way.. Helen has the beauty of all goddesses.. but her inside, her personality.. she's evil.. she's cruel, she plays with people.. she's so pretty that we don't care about all her defects.." I smiled, but somehow I wished I was like her. Haldir fell for her at once.. and I was sure that Legolas would also do it.. after all, Paris was his reincarnation. And he had fallen too.  
  
"Once I had feelings towards Haldir.. and he left me. and went with her.. " Paris was staring at me, with curiosity. "And if I loved another man, he would also leave me for Helen.. they all would prefer her over me.." Anger was making me talk too much.. I couldn't help thinking of Haldir, being with her.. my eyes were full of tears again.  
  
"Don't cry, Zana.. Helen is not worth and the proof is that she doesn't have a heart.. she's empty.. like Haldir is.." He took my hand, and I froze." Haldir is like her, if he left you so easily.." I knew the reasons why Haldir had left me, he wasn't guilty of it.. but I didn't want Paris to know this.. somehow I needed to be comforted. Suddenly, he stopped talking for a while, just staring at me. Some seconds passed. "I wish I had more time to meet you.." We looked at each other.  
  
"What do you mean?" I whispered.  
  
"That I can't love you now, Zana.. " I blushed, and he looked at me sadly.  
  
"I didn't say I wanted it.." He smiled again, and touched my face.  
  
"Don't lie to me" Standing up, he walked towards the door. "Sleep well, I'll do it in another room. Good night"  
  
------------------ ---------------------- ----------------------- ------ ------------------------- -----  
  
Haldir and Helen arrived in the beach. She looked for a boat, and ran towards it.  
  
"Come here, we'll leave now" She took the ropes that tied it to the harbour.  
  
"What are you saying? " Haldir frowned. "I wish I had never followed you.. I don't know what did you do to me, Helen.. but I'm not like this.. we're missing the ceremony where I have to help Zana.. all because of you.." She walked towards him, with angry face.  
  
"Zana? Do you know where is she, by now?" Her blue eyes shone with en evil bright. "She's in our room, with Paris. In my room!" Haldir became paler than he was.  
  
"Don't say so.." He murmured, angry. She laughed.  
  
"I know that this horrible old man who is friend of the King spend a whole month talking about her arrival.. and that Paris should choose her, because she would save Troy.. " She laughed again, shaking her head. "A crazy old man.. what does he know?" She returned to the place where the boat was, and Haldir stood there, thinking.  
  
"An old man.." He murmured, and turned around. "Helen.. does this old man have blue eyes and white long hair?" Helen stopped untying the rope.  
  
"How do you know this?" She froze when she saw Haldir's smile. "No, Haldir, wait! You can't leave me here!" She shouted at him, when he started to run back to the palace. "Haldir!" She ran after him.  
  
Haldir stopped in front of the fountain. Helen arrived a bit later, without breath in her chest. The elf was checking the walls of the palace.  
  
"What are you doing? " Helen asked, and she got a sharp look in reply. "Don't look for her.. she's probably sleeping with my future husband"  
  
"I told you that she's not like this" His eyes were cold, but when she smiled, he had to make a big effort to resist.  
  
"Well.. you almost were like this.." Her voice was seductive, she was playing with him again. Touching his face, she came closer and kissed him. For a moment, he couldn't move.  
  
"Haldir!" They heard a voice. Legolas was standing there, his eyes widened, and a strange look on his face. "Haldir, what does this mean?" He walked towards them. The woman was really amazing, and she walked in a provocative way.  
  
"Who are you?" Her voice sounded sharp and sweet at the same time. But to her surprise, it didn't have any effect on Legolas. "Wait.. your voice.. it's so familiar to me.."  
  
"I'm Legolas and I came to look for my friends. But I see they don't need me at all.." he gave a freezing look to Haldir.. but at the same time , a kind of hope came to his heart. If Zana knew about this, he would be the chosen one.  
  
"Legolas, I didn't want this to happen.." Haldir said, firmly.  
  
"But you did it anyway.. well, I don't care." He ignored Helen, and she felt offended. "Where are Gimli and Zana?"  
  
"Zana, Zana.. she's with my future husband!!" The shout of the woman made Legolas jump.  
  
"What are you saying? Are you crazy?" Legolas looked at Haldir, who nodded. "Zana was in the ceremony? And she was chosen?"  
  
"How can you know about this ceremony?" Haldir asked.  
  
"It's a very long story, I'll tell you it another day.. come on, we have to find her"  
  
"Hey, I'm here! You won't go anywhere.. Haldir is coming with me" Helen shouted, furious. Legolas stopped and looked at the elf.  
  
"Is this true, Haldir? Are you leaving with her?" He was shocked when he saw the doubt in Haldir's eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry, Legolas.. I don't know what's happening to me.. but I knew about this before we arrived here.. look, I don't have too many time to tell you about my secrets.. but I'll only warn you about something.. there's someone inside this castle who you can't meet.. because he's your reincarnation.."  
  
"Mine? But.. I already met Zana's reincarnation. So we all have a double here? And we can't see him?" Haldir nodded.  
  
"Legolas.. I need your help.. please.." Legolas looked at him, confused. When Haldir pointed at Helen, he understood.  
  
"OK.. Helen.. I'll take this man with me, even if you don't want.. he can't decide by himself because obviously you did something to him.. so I think it's better that you join us and help us to find our friends.. if not, I promise I'll cause you a lot of troubles.."  
  
"You're threatening me? " She asked, mad at him.  
  
"I'm just giving you good advises"  
  
"I'm leaving with Haldir" Her voice was so hard that even Legolas needed all his forces to ignore her. Then ,he looked at his friend. He was different.  
  
"We're a group of friends, Haldir.. if one of us is alone, we must find him.. Zana needs us.. we all have to be with her, and you already know why.. you know the phrase.. if she flies, we'll fly with her.." Legolas was trying to be convincing, but he felt too sad, too disappointed with Haldir. He didn't show any kind of emotions. He was confused.  
  
"Once I lost my feelings towards Zana.. and I'm afraid I've found new feelings here.. now I understand why I didn't have a reincarnation in this century, in this world.. because I was destined to live here.." His face shone, and he smiled. "Yes, it's because of this!"  
  
"I can't believe you're saying this!" Legolas shouts reached the palace. A troop of soldiers came.  
  
"Haldir, leave with me!" Helen begged, hiding behind a bush. The elf looked at her, and then at Legolas.  
  
"I'm sorry, Legolas"  
  
"What?" Legolas stood there, shocked, watching at Haldir leaving. All his hope for the future was gone. Haldir was destined for the mission.. and he was leaving. The soldiers arrived and caught Legolas.  
  
---------------- -------------------------- ---------------------- ------ ------------------ ------------  
  
I heard voices in the yard. This time he was Legolas. It was difficult to distinguish Paris voice from his. He had finally come, and I recuperated all forces and optimism. I smiled, looking through the window. But there were three persons there.. they all blonde.. the night was silent, so I could hear all the conversation.. and Haldir was there.. with Helen. I froze. And I felt anger. I understood Paris.. and, at the same time, I was watching at Legolas.. and my old feelings were returning.why all the things had to be so confusing?  
  
I went on listening.. I almost fell on the ground when I heard Haldir saying that he was going to escape with Helen. So this was the prediction.. the thing that would make me so sad.. and Helen.. how I hated her. I remembered Paris words during the ceremony.. they spoiled his life.. but I was surprised when I noticed my feelings changing.. I was so angry, so depressed.. that I even wanted Haldir to disappear with her.. I didn't care.. Helen would be out of my sight.. and in that moment I didn't care about my mission any more. I wanted to stay in Troy. But Legolas.. he was trying to find me.. he was fighting for me.. Paris knew there would be someone who would do this for me.. his double from another life. Maybe I wasn't destined to be with Haldir. When I saw them leaving, I noticed that Haldir looked at me in the distance ..but went on walking.  
  
It was too late to warn Legolas, when the soldiers caught him. I shouted, and the group looked at me.  
  
"Zana!!" Legolas shouted, smiling. "Are you OK?" I nodded, unable to speak.  
  
"Legolas, please, don't leave me too.. please!" Tears were falling from my eyes when the soldiers took him away, and I fell on the ground, crying. I was alone. The door opened and saw Paris. He came running towards me, worried.  
  
"Did you hear them? They're' leaving.. but I won't stop her.." His eyes were angry, and he kneeled in front of me. "Zana.. he's not worth. I'm sure your soul mate will appear sooner or later.." He tried to smile. And suddenly he felt ill. "My head, it will explode.. what's happening to me?" He closed his eyes, and fainted. I looked at the door. Legolas was standing there, smiling at me.  
  
"What kind of sexy clothes are you wearing and who are you talking to?" I ran towards him, we hugged for minutes. I knew he couldn't see Paris, as Paris couldn't see him. "They're looking for me, I managed to escape.." He locked the door behind him, and then looked at me again "You look so different, what did they do to you? You were the girl from the tower and I didn't recognise you!" He was smiling, touching my head, my face.. But Paris was still inside. That was too strange to be real. He looked at me, and touched my face. "Don't loose your hope, please.. I promise I won't ever leave you" And I started to cry again, while he hugged me. 


	44. Hope was lost

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ************ ************* **********  
  
So.. is Haldir leaving?? : ) You have to read to know it! By the way, I'll use this space to say thanks to Nikki Stagerwell : ) You asked me to include feedback of your reviews, and I always forget.. I promise that in the following chapters I'll make some comments : ) Sometimes I send emails to some of you, but if you all prefer me to write here, I'll do it : ) Thanks for the reviews!!  
  
************** ******************** **************** ***************  
  
Then the rainstorm came, over me  
  
And I felt my spirit break  
  
I had lost all of my, belief you see  
  
And realise my mistake  
  
But time through a prayer, to me  
  
And all around me, it came still  
  
I need love, loves divine  
  
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind  
  
Give me love, loves is what I need to help me know my name  
  
Through the rainstorm came, century  
  
And I felt my spirit fly  
  
I had felt, all of my, reality  
  
I realise what it takes  
  
Love's divine - Seal  
  
"Why did he leave?" I looked at Legolas face, and he shrugged, trying to smile.  
  
"He acted like this for some reasons, I suppose.. but don't think about this any more.. we have to meet Gimli and escape from this horrible century" He looked around, separating from me, and walking towards the window. I saw Paris waking up.  
  
"You can't see him, right?" I asked, and Legolas turned around, looking at me with a confused gaze. "Paris.." I pointed at the ground.  
  
"Who are you talking to?" Paris asked, touching his head. Then, suddenly, pain could be seen on his face. "What's happening to me? I'm dizzy again.."  
  
"You can't see Paris, and he can't see you.. he's your reincarnation" Legolas opened his mouth, and watched at the ground.  
  
"Where is he?" He walked back, scared. "I can't meet him.consequences could be terrible.." He took my arm. "I must go, Zana.. I'll hide somewhere.. try to be alone in one hour, and I'll be back"  
  
"No, Legolas.." I whispered, but he left me alone again. I noticed that Paris was waking up . I walked to meet him and kneeled. "Are you OK? What happened?" He looked at me, confused.  
  
"I don't know.. I think I need to walk a bit.." He stood up, and I helped him, holding his arm. Finally his dark eyes seemed to de awake again, and he smiled. "I suppose it was the effect I got after listening to Haldir and Helen's conversation.. " I felt that pain, and I tried to think about something different, but the face of the elf, looking at me from the distance.. brought me too much pain.  
  
"Come on, you need fresh air.." He walked with me, and when I was going to say goodbye to him and close the door, he stopped.  
  
"You won't come with me? We can walk by the sea.." Obviously, he wanted to talk to me.. but I had to return in one hour to meet Legolas..  
  
"But.. I'm a bit tired, Paris.."  
  
"Please.." He took my hand, and I noticed he really felt bad. I sighed.  
  
"OK, but I'll be back in no time.." With a smile, he let me pass in front of him and closed the door. The halls were dark, and I tried to look at each corner, behind every plant.. but Legolas wasn't there. We heard laughs from the big room, and I could imagine Gimli getting drunk there.. probably this was what he was doing.  
  
The night was warm, starry.. the sound of the sea was close. We walked in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Paris looked shocked, as if he had decided to give up everything. His nice face was dark, sad.. he kept his hands inside the pockets, and in that position he looked smaller. Like a child.  
  
"I really love her.. she can't leave.." I heard his whispers, but said nothing. Despite of my feelings towards Legolas, Haldir had always been someone special for me.. I needed him more than I had thought. Tears were coming back to my eyes.  
  
"Don't think about it any more, Paris.. you're hurting yourself, and now you'll need all your forces.." We stopped on a sandy hill, and sat down. The sea was calmed, small waves moved on the surface, and the sea breeze made me feel better. "You said she wasn't worth.. if she left, then you deserve someone better.." He looked at me angry.  
  
"She's better than anybody else, what I've done for her lately can't be told with words. I don't know how was Haldir with you.. but you can't understand how I feel now"  
  
"Why this sudden change of mood? First you tell me that they're' not worth, and now.. I can't understand why did you ask me to come with you" But I decided to shut up, and walk near to the sea. I didn't want to deal with that complicated man.. For some moments I couldn't believe he was Legolas reincarnation.  
  
The water was warm, and I left the sandals some metres away.. I liked the feeling of the sand under my feet, and finally I had a moment of peace, for myself.. although I kept an eye on Paris, who was sitting a bit far away from me. I didn't know what time was it, but I remembered about Legolas. I was going to turn around, when a bright thing called my attention. There, inside the water, there was something shinning in the moonlight. The waves brought it to my feet, and I picked it up. I opened my mouth in surprise, my heart started beating so fast and tears were falling down in my face. The ring that Haldir had given me.. it came back.  
  
----------------------------- ------------------------ ------------------- --- ---------------------  
  
"You must return to Greece and we'll avoid this war" Helen looked at Haldir, shocked, while he showed her the big ship ready for leaving.  
  
"This is why you brought me here? You lied to me!" her face became red.  
  
"I didn't lie to you.. I'm just helping my friends.. helping a whole empire. You're too selfish to realise about it.. I never said I loved you.. so I didn't play with you.. come on, Helen.. you also don't love me.." She kept silence for a moment, and then tears came to her eyes.  
  
"He chose another wife.. how could he make this to me?.."  
  
"He didn't choose it.. he was forced by the king.. but you can change things.. go back to Greece.. and ask him to go with you.. this way, you'll stop Achilles, his soldiers and all this crazy war.." Haldir sat with her on the sand. She seemed to be thinking.  
  
"I can't go back.. I betrayed my husband Menelao.. do you know which is the punishment? " She asked, sadly. "They will kill me" Haldir froze, unable to understand those barbarian traditions. "And if I stay here.. they will protect me.. Troy is stronger than Greece.."  
  
"Why don't you leave both empires, and go somewhere?" Haldir was trying to find a fast solution, time was running. She sighed.  
  
"But.. where would we go?"  
  
"You'll find a place.. but you can't allow this war, Helen.. it's crazy.. " They kept silence for a while.  
  
"For a moment I thought you really loved me.." She looked at him, and he smiled.  
  
"I admit that you're the most amazing girl I've ever seen.. but I'm not like the rest of men.. for some reasons I can't explain.." He touched his ears, under his hair. "I love someone with my heart and with my soul.. and they're not material.. appearance is not the most important thing for elves.."  
  
"Elves?" She frowned, and Haldir realised about his mistake.  
  
"Me, for me.." He replied, quickly.  
  
"Paris loves my inside.. I'm sure.. he's not like the rest of men neither.. he's very similar to you.. as if you both were made with the same.. material" Haldir smiled, thinking about that Paris had the soul of an elf, after all..  
  
"Leave with him, Helen.. he will come to you.." Haldir stood up, and she waited there.  
  
"Where are you going?" She asked, scared.  
  
"Don't fear anything.. I promise things will go well. I must solve some business" He left, with a mysterious smile on his lips. He had to find Zana.  
  
--------------------- ----------------------------- ---------------------- ---- ------------------  
  
Paris stood up, while Zana kneeled on the sand.. what was that girl doing? He walked towards her, and suddenly stopped. His instinct told him something.. he turned around, and watched in the distance.. the lights in the harbour.. a big ship was ready to leave. His heart almost stopped beating.. he still had a chance, Helen hadn't gone yet. Running towards Zana, he took her by her arms, lifting her up.  
  
"What's wrong? " She asked, and he smiled.  
  
"I hope you'll get all what you want in your life.. meeting you was a great experience.." She looked surprised, and he noticed she was blushing.  
  
"Paris.. why are you so happy?" He touched her face, and kissed her.  
  
"This is a good bye kiss, Zana" She looked so shocked, and stood there while he walked away. "Good luck, with all my heart" He left with a smile.  
  
"Paris.." She murmured.  
  
Paris ran to the harbour. A group of sailors were getting ready to leave.. and he saw her. She was standing there, crying, wrapping herself with her arms. He smiled, and forgot about everything.. he knew they had to leave Troy, Greece and all the Mediterranean empires. They would go somewhere, he didn't care where.. he just wanted to be with her. When she saw him, she looked shocked.  
  
"Paris!" Her blue eyes opened, and didn't know how to react. He hugged her.  
  
"I'm leaving with you, Helen.. lets go far away from here.. and don't ever leave me" Her tears disappeared and she smiled. "I love you"  
  
--------------------- --------------------- ------------------- --------- ---------- ------------------  
  
I put the ring in my finger again.. somehow it gave me forces.. I was shocked. What had just happened? Paris left.. I followed him.. and saw Helen.. without Haldir. I was standing there, incapable of believing what I was seeing.. the couple stepped into the ship.. they were kissing each other.. they were leaving! But this couldn't happen.. History had been changed, and this would bring consequences for the future of the humanity!  
  
"This is a mess.." I murmured. "History is changed.. oh, no.." I watched the ship parting, and then walked back to the beach. I was alone, my future would be different.. I was responsible of all future consequences.. I couldn't breath, I felt dizzy and sat on the sand. For a moment, I thought the ring was shining.. but it was just my imagination.. I couldn't understand what had really happened between Haldir and Helen.. and why all from the sudden Helen was with Paris.. then.. where was Haldir? I wasn't able to think. I only wanted to cry. I would never see Paris again.. Legolas was in danger.. Gimli getting drunk.. and Haldir.. why did I have hope? Why was I thinking that maybe he didn't have anything with Helen? If I could only talk to Gandalf.  
  
A soft wind came, and I realised I had to go back and meet Legolas. We would find a solution for everything.. it seemed that in each century something was solved.. Fern was killed and he was an obstacle for us.. but being in Troy was only bringing problems.. I wondered what would happen in that place that could help us in our mission. Walking back, and looking at the sand, I didn't realise there was someone else with me. I looked up and stopped.  
  
"Hello, Zana" He spoke, softly, with a smile.  
  
"Haldir.." I murmured, I wasn't able to speak. A silence came, while we stared at each other. He walked towards me.  
  
"Everything is solved.. I got it.." His blue eyes looked nicest than ever before.  
  
"What did you get?" He looked at my finger, distracted.  
  
"You found it" Taking my hand, he analysed the ring. He was so surprised, as if that event had settled things down. "It's amazing.."  
  
"You didn't reply my question.." I noticed my hand shaking.  
  
"You're nervous.. and your heart is beating fast again" Murmured with a smile.  
  
"This is how things work.." I tied to think clearly, I wanted to know what happened with Helen. "What about her?" He looked at the sky.  
  
"I had to play a trick on Helen.. and it worked.. now she's leaving with Paris and the war was stopped"  
  
"Do you know that this will bring consequences for the future of Earth? You changed the History" He nodded.  
  
"I was meant to do this.. trust me" We stared for some time.  
  
"How can I trust you.. if you left with her? " I felt tears in my eyes again.  
  
" I didn't leave with her in the sense you think.. it was part of my plan"  
  
"You didn't help me" I whispered. He sighed, and came closer.  
  
"I knew Legolas would be there for you" I smiled sadly.  
  
"Some days ago you wouldn't allow him to do it because you would have done it by yourself.. when you still loved me" I was surprised when I saw the expression of his face. For a moment I thought that things hadn't change at all.  
  
"Zana.. nothing happened with Helen.. and if I hadn't done this.. where would you be now? Paris wouldn't have chosen you.. he would have become crazy.. can't you see that all things happened because of a reason?" I had to agree with him, but I was still confused. "What's wrong ,Zana?"  
  
" You can't imagine how I felt.. thinking that you were with her.." I was surprised with my sincerity.. I was almost saying that I still loved him.. I blushed. I wished that things would have been the same as before.. when he was fighting for my love.. now I felt alone. I didn't have anybody. But I remembered Paris words.. sure there's someone who would make this for you..  
  
"I'm sorry if I hurt you.. I thought you trusted me more.. I'm an elf, not a human, remember? "He said, with a smile.  
  
"Does this change things?" I asked, sadly, and to my surprise, he smiled again, as if he was happy.  
  
"Of course it does, Zana.. when an elf gives his heart.. it's forever.." I stopped breathing, wishing to hear more words like those ones.. but he remained silent.  
  
"Unless a Fountain of truth comes into his way.." I expected a yes, a nod.. but he didn't say anything. He just came closer.  
  
"Not when a Tor fixes things again" I was shocked.  
  
"What.. do you mean?" Was that what I wanted to hear?!  
  
"Zana.. Legolas needs us.." He started walking, but I couldn't help feeling a big hope inside me. Did he mean what I thought he was meaning? All I got was a smile from him, asking me to walk fast. 


	45. Confessions

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ************* ************** *************  
  
Tomorrow I'll write the last chapter before leaving, but don't think I won't return! : ) On 4th January my plane lands and I'll go on with this fic. My Christmas holidays begin on Wednesday, I'll be flying all day, first to Frankfurt, then to Slovenia.. in the case that I wasn't able to write the chapter tomorrow, I wish you happy Christmas, have a very good time and I hope that all what you wish for New Year will come true! Greetings!  
  
**************** ***************** **************** *************  
  
It's funny how I find myself  
  
In love with you  
  
If I could buy my reasoning  
  
I'd pay to lose  
  
One half won't do  
  
I've asked myself  
  
How much do you  
  
Commit yourself?  
  
Oh, I'd tell myself  
  
What good do you do  
  
Convince myself  
  
Oh, It's my life  
  
Don't you forget  
  
Oh, It's my life  
  
It never ends (It never ends...)  
  
It's my life - No doubt  
  
"I got it" The old man murmured, and Gimli, sitting at the same table as him, opened his eyes.  
  
"What did you get, Gandalf?" He was too drunk to think clearly. After he had found the magician in the halls, and they had gone to the dinning room together, the dwarf hadn't stopped drinking.  
  
"I warned you not to call me by my real name" Gandalf stared at him coldly. "Someone could hear us.. and I'm already sorry for telling you the secrets of this story.. you know too many things.." The dwarf frowned.  
  
"Are you saying that I can't keep a secret?" Gimli's voice sounded horrible under the effects of alcohol. He stood up ,walking in zigzag, smiling, Gandalf sighed.  
  
"I wish you'll recuperate soon.. you're the only one who has his heart safe.. the only objective one.. all my hope is a drunk dwarf.." His blue eyes watched at the small dwarf sadly.  
  
"Yeeeep" Gimli fell on the ground, completely asleep.  
  
"Priam, I didn't hear you coming" The magician greeted the king, who was walking fast towards him.  
  
"My son left with Helen" Gandalf tried not to show his emotions.  
  
"Really?" Murmured, and the king nodded.  
  
"The war is over. We already signed the peace with Greece" Gandalf smiled and looked at the ceiling while the king left again.  
  
---------------------- ---------------------------- ---------------------- -- ----------------------- ---  
  
We entered the palace in silence. For the past minutes, Haldir didn't say a word, and I was too shocked to be able to speak. The halls were dark, and silent. He walked by my side, and when we turned in the next corner, he took my arm.  
  
"I don't think it's safe, Zana" He whispered, his mouth close to my ear.  
  
"What's wrong?" I checked his blue eyes. He heard something.  
  
"Your room belongs to Paris, right? " I nodded. "They're checking it.. probably looking for some clues.. they will try to find out where is he going to.." I also heard the vocies of soldiers.  
  
"But Legolas.. he's going there!" Haldir smiled.  
  
"He can take care of himself, believe me. Now you must come to my room. Nobody will go there" I didn't have more options, I had to follow him. Still wondering where was Gimli, I found the answer in front of me. Some metres away, Gandalf greeted us with his hand. He was carrying the asleep dwarf.  
  
"Gandalf.." I smiled, running towards him.  
  
"Be quiet, girl." He said, kindly, and left Gimli on the ground. "Finally we're together.."  
  
"No, Legolas is not here.. I feel guilty, I promised him I would be in my room.." I turned around and jumped. Legolas was standing behind me and I hadn't noticed his presence. With a smile, he touched my arm.  
  
"We're finally together, Zana.." I smiled back, and looked at Haldir. He was serious, concerned about something. Catching my gaze, his blue eyes looked sharp. Then , he moved his head to watch at Gandalf.  
  
"This place is not safe for us any more.." Haldir commented. "The war is over, yes.. but there are still lots of things they want to know.. and we must leave before they will try it.." Gandalf nodded.  
  
"Please, listen to me for a second" I asked the magician, who looked inpatient. "What did we get from this century? I mean, when we were with king Arthur many things happened.. Fern died.. then the Tor.."  
  
"What happens with the Tor?" Legolas asked, and I blushed.  
  
"Well, they say they change people, right? Maybe it changed us for this century..but now, what do we have? What did we get?" I looked at all of them, And Gandalf frowned.  
  
"We stopped a war, Zana" His words were sharp.  
  
"Yes, but this is my world! This war had to happen! History is like that, you know? I live in a future where things are like they're because once those things happened!! Who assures me that when I'll return everything will be the same?" I was almost shouting, and I felt Legolas hand in my shoulder.  
  
"Calm down, Zana.." He whispered, but Gandalf interrupted him.  
  
"No, Legolas.. she's right in some way.. and I think it's about time to tell her.." I froze, scared of his words. "But not here.. we all will go to my room. Priam trusts me, he won't look for me there" We followed the magician and entered a huge room, similar to the Paris one. Gimli fell on the bed and went on sleeping, while Haldir locked the door behind him. Gandalf invited us to sit down on the pillows.  
  
"What is waiting for us?" Legolas was as curious as I was. His face was more awake than ever, and I noticed his eyes brightening with a different light. Haldir sat behind us, leaning against a column. He looked distant.  
  
"I can't lie to you.." Gandalf looked at me as he started speaking. "I'm afraid that since the moment the mission began, many little things that happened changed the future of Earth.. but this is why you were sent here, Zana.. no doubt about it.." He took a deep breath, smoking his pipe.  
  
"I want to know what this mission implies for me and how will I find things when I'll come back" I said, sharply, and I heard a cough from Haldir. When I looked at him, I saw sadness in his eyes.. why?  
  
"When you'll come back." Gandalf repeated my words, slowly..  
  
"Yes, what's wrong about it? " My hands were already shaking.  
  
"I thought you wanted to stay in Middle earth forever" Gandalf's eyes brightening with a funny expression. I blushed.  
  
"Yes, but this was before.."  
  
"Before what?" Haldir asked.  
  
"Please, Gandalf, go on telling" I was too nervous to explain anything to Haldir, and he knew perfectly what I was talking about. I noticed it in his smile.. The magician smiled too. If the moment wasn't so serious as it was, I would have said that they were making fun of me.  
  
"So.. when you'll come back.." I noticed Gandalf's words with an ironical tone" maybe some things will be changed.. but you must be calmed.. because they only will affect your personal life.. Earth will be the same. But you must be strong, Zana.."  
  
"Why?" I murmured.  
  
"Maybe your personal situation will be a bit.. different.. maybe you'll be living in a different country, maybe you'll be working or studying in another place.. and maybe people you loved won't be there, and you'll find some strangers around you"  
  
"And why nobody warned me about this..? " I was full of anger.  
  
"Would have been things different, Zana?" Gandalf asked, and waited for my reply. I thought for a moment, and reached a fast conclusion.  
  
"No.." My voice was a whisper, and they kept silence.  
  
"Maybe your life on Earth wasn't the life it was supposed to be.."  
  
"What do you mean?" I frowned, feeling all gazes on me.  
  
"Maybe the life you were living wasn't the life you were supposed to live.. and someone had to fix it.. like things are being fixed in those centuries.."  
  
"So I was living a life that wasn't mine? My parents, my friends.. everything? "  
  
"Not everything, but many things.. yes"  
  
"Then.. why we're not travelling from the primitive ages, century by century?"  
  
"Because not in all centuries you left things without fixing.."  
  
"So my mission is to fix my own life and situations until the future days.. and then live the life I was destined to live" Gandalf nodded, wit a smile.  
  
"Finally we found out the main reason of your journey to Middle Earth " They all looked at me.  
  
"So I met Legolas, Haldir, Gimli and you through all my past lives? I'm destined to meet them wherever I'll go?"  
  
"When a soul is created, and meets its twin souls and partners.. they'll be together forever, Zana" I nodded, slowly. So when I would come back to my world.. no, that was too stupid.. if the actors from movie were the reincarnations.. no, impossible.  
  
"So the war of Troy won't take place.." I changed from subject." And now what? Where are we going?"  
  
"Destiny will tell.. by the moment, you all must sleep. Tomorrow you'll find the gate to the new time, you're destined to it.." Gandalf stood up and invited us to leave his room. "Zana.. don't sleep in Paris room.. and please.." He looked at me. "Remove all this horrible make up you're wearing" I smiled as I left the room in the company of the two elves . Gimli was too drunk to walk. After walking some steps, I remembered that Legolas had appeared all from the sudden.  
  
"How did you manage to avoid the soldiers? I'm sorry that I wasn't in my room.." He smiled.  
  
"Don't worry, I saw them coming and I just left the place before they arrived.  
  
"I'm glad that everything went well. And I imagine that now you understand my ..actions.." Haldir looked at him and they both exchanged a mysterious gaze.  
  
"Of course.. at first I was surprised, but soon I supposed you had a plan" Legolas smiled and then looked at me. "What about you? What happened with Paris? "  
  
"Nothing" I replied too fast, and Haldir gave me a strange look. "Really" why was I giving him explanations? He had also left with Helen!  
  
"And I believe you.." Haldir replied, ironically .  
  
"I also had a plan" Legolas laughed with my reply.  
  
"The truth is that I don't care, as long as we'll leave this horrible century and this horrible place" Haldir murmured, and we three stopped in a corner.  
  
"Is not that horrible" I said, and the two elves stared at me, surprised. "I mean, we met nice people."  
  
"I'm glad that Paris left, he had a bad effect on you.." I looked at Haldir a bit angry.  
  
"What do you mean?" But he didn't reply.  
  
"OK, we must sleep" Legolas interrupted. "Haldir, can we use your room?" Haldir nodded, but I was still angry.  
  
"I won't sleep unless you'll tell me what was wrong with Paris and his possible effects on me.." Legolas sighed, and Haldir kept silence.  
  
"Zana.. I'm sure we both are willing to tell you.. some things.." Said Legolas, looking at Haldir. "But this is not the best moment.. it's too complicated and we can't think clear now.."  
  
"Which things?" I stopped walking. Now I was surprised.  
  
"About the Tor.." Murmured Legolas, and I blushed again. "Come on, lets go" He took my arm and we entered Haldir's room. Like in all rooms, there was a big bed and pillows on the ground.  
  
"You both can sleep in the bed and I'll use the pillows.." I said, half smiling. It was funny to see the reaction on their faces.  
  
"Don't make jokes.. it's too late" Haldir frowned. "And I suppose you don't plan to sleep with all the painting in your face and those ..kind of clothes.."  
  
"I have the bag in my room.." I murmured, realising about that. "I have to go.. come on, nothing bad will happen to me.. I was a guest here, I almost became Paris wife"  
  
"Don't repeat that" Legolas said, sharply.  
  
"I was joking.."  
  
"I'll go with you. Haldir can wait here. " I noticed that Haldir didn't like that idea.. and I remembered old times. I wished that their feelings could come back. We left the room and walked in the darkness. He slowed his steps. I looked at him, surprised.  
  
"What's wrong?" he looked at me with a smile.  
  
"Nothing.. it's only that we don't have a real conversation since a lot of time ago.."  
  
"And you want to keep it here in the halls?" I asked , ironically.  
  
"No, of course.. " We stopped in front of my room's door. "Here" His blue eyes were smiling.  
  
"Haldir will get worried if we're too late.." I murmured.  
  
"He know you still have to take a bath and change your clothes. We have time.."  
  
"No!" I shouted, with a smile, imagining the situation. Me, taking the bath, and Legolas sitting in front of me. He realised about what he said and blushed a bit.  
  
"I know, I mean.." He laughed. "Ok, you take a bath and I wait behind the door and we talk.." We looked at each other for a while.  
  
"Ok." I opened the door and we came in. The place was made a mess, after the soldiers checked it. I walked among the pillows and carpets, and Legolas followed me. "My bag is here" I picked it up from the ground, and looked at him. "Now.. I'll go to take a bath.." I started walking when he took my arm.  
  
"Zana, please, just one minute.." He was watching at me with a different expression again.. like many days ago.. no, that couldn't be possible. "I really need to talk to you.. I don't want to keep more secrets.. if I lost you, or if you lost me.. you wouldn't know the truth.."  
  
"What are you hiding, Legolas?" He moved his hand along my arm, and then saw the ring. A strange bright in his eyes told me that he didn't like seeing it. Was that possible? He was caring again about me?  
  
"Zana.. after being in the Glastonbury Tor.. things changed.."  
  
"Why did things change for everybody, except for me? " I complained, and he smiled.  
  
"Let me speak.. the thing that changed inside me was.. that the Tor voided all the changes that occurred at the Fountain of truth.." I looked at him, nervous. He was talking like Haldir did.. with that mystery about the Tor. "Zana, I think that.. well.."  
  
"Legolas, why are you so shy all from the sudden?" He smiled again.  
  
"Because it seems that things changed even more than before being at the Fountain.." Obviously, it was difficult for him to talk.  
  
"Don't scare me.." I said, and noticed that he was holding my hand.  
  
"Zana." he took a deep breath. "I recuperated not only all my feelings towards you.. but also stronger ones.." I blushed deeply.  
  
"What?" I was shocked, surprised.. and happy.. this meant that the same had happened to Haldir .  
  
"Now I'm decided.. I won't let you go back to Earth.. unless you let me go with you.."  
  
"Legolas, do you know what are you saying?"  
  
"I do" He replied so fast that he scared me. And at the same time, I felt strange. The room was dark, the sounds of the sea could be heard.. he was so close to me.. he was Legolas. Which girl would be calmed alone with him? I tried to think about a possible answer, or comment, but nothing came to my mouth. "Zana.. lets stop the game.. I must know what do you feel.. and if you still have Haldir on mind.." I was staring at him and I didn't realise it.  
  
"Well.. honestly.. well.." He was smiling. .argh, why did he do that to me?  
  
"And..?" He asked, softly.  
  
"In this moment?" What a strange question I had done. He laughed.  
  
"Well, yes , in this moment and at any moment, I suppose.."  
  
"I have to take a bath.." I walked away and closed the bathroom's door behind me. My heart was beating so fast. What had just happened? I removed my clothes and opened a kind of pipe. Water came, cold.. but I needed it.. the night was too hot.. and I was too nervous. Shocked. Things turned back to old times. "It's my life.. and it never ends.." I whispered. Minutes passed, and after washing my face and removing the strange paint from it, I dried and dressed in my Trojan dress... Someone had washed it, it had a smell of flowers.. With my hair still wet, I opened the door. Legolas was still standing there. He looked at me and smiled. "Lets go back.." But he didn't let me walk. I knew what was going to happen. I knew it very well because it had happened more times. And I wasn't stopping him.  
  
"Can I come in?" A voice from outside made me react. Haldir had come. He opened the door and checked us. "Come on, you've spent here a lot of time. It's not safe" When I passed in front of him, he touched my shoulder. "Are you OK? " I nodded, and walked behind them. Still shocked. 


	46. Time do us part

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana *****************  
  
I'm back! I'm sorry for not updating before, but I had troubles with computer. And I'm afraid I'll be writing sad chapters because I feel sad myself.. : ) I've returned from this wonderful journey and I still don't have forces to be happy.. Anyway, I really appreciate all your reviews! I'm so happy that you really like this story, if it wasn't for all of you, I couldn't go on writing! Thank you very much and Happy New Year!  
  
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I just can't stop an' simply let it be.  
  
Where are all those feelin's of my yesterdays  
  
Feelin's now I have bring back those bad ole ways.  
  
Though I know you wanna turn an' blow  
  
I just can't stop an' simply let you go.  
  
I feel I'm fallin' apart 'cos I know I've lost my guardian angel. . ..  
  
Let me see you smile once more that special way warm as summer  
  
On a chilly winter's day though I know you're simply laughin' at me  
  
I just can't stop an' simply let it be.  
  
I feel I'm fallin' apart 'cos I know I've lost my guardian angel. . . .  
  
Guardian angel- Masquerade  
  
I opened my eyes in the darkness, feeling a hand on my shoulder. At first I couldn't distinguish him, but when I heard his voice, I knew at once that Gandalf was going to tell me something important.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked, and he asked me to shut up. Obviously he was in a hurry.  
  
"I must leave now.. my role in this mission ends here.. Frodo is waiting for me, and we both we'll part to the Grey Havens. " he smiled , and I felt shocked.  
  
"What are you saying? That you leave me here?" With my shouts the both elves woke up, staring at Gandalf with curiosity.  
  
"See what you have done, Zana?" Gandalf sighed. "My friends, my time has come" Legolas smiled, to my surprise.  
  
"When will you leave? I've always dreamed about this moment.." I looked at Legolas as soon as he said those words. What was going on?  
  
"Which moment? What are you talking about?" I was becoming crazy. Haldir was staring at the ground, confused.  
  
"When the elves leave this world and go to the Grey Havens forever" Legolas looked at me with a strange gaze. "Since I can remember, I've always waited for this moment.. and I wonder when will I do it" I felt a kind of pain in my stomach.  
  
"You want to leave forever? Why?" I asked, and his blue eyes smiled.  
  
"Not now, of course.. but I thought that maybe my destiny would be this.. that one day I would join the elves in their final journey.." He stopped talking, and looked at me. "But things changed a bit since you arrived.." Somehow I felt better with those words.  
  
"Gandalf..why is Frodo leaving with you?" I was full of questions that seemed not to have a good answer.  
  
"He suffered enough once.. now he must rest in a place where the bad feelings won't invade him.. where the pain won't return.. and my days here are over too.. I can't help you any more, dear Zana"  
  
"What do you mean? That the end of my mission is near?" All from the sudden I felt so scared. I was afraid of loosing them, of loosing all the good moments.. afraid of coming back.. or not coming back. "If things were more defined.." I sighed, and I noticed Haldir's gaze on me.  
  
"Don't fear anything, Zana" He said, but his words didn't sound too convincing.  
  
"So.. I think this is the end" Gandalf said with a smile. "My friends.. we've lived so many adventures together.. Legolas, Haldir.." he looked at them, and the both elves stood up. "I don't have words to describe my emotions now.. the war joined us and I'll always carry this feeling with me.. good luck" He gave a very strange look to Legolas, who smiled back. And then, his eyes looked at me. "Zana.. you're solving your own life in an amazing good way.. maybe now you don't understand my words.. but soon.. soon you'll find out. Never give up.. whatever will happen" Those last words scared me a bit, but I nodded.  
  
"Gandalf" Haldir walked towards him. They both looked at each other in silence, as if they were exchanging private information inside their minds. "I know.." He replied, in a sad way.  
  
"What is what you know?" I asked, nervous. Gandalf looked at me.  
  
"Zana.. things are getting defined" This was his mysterious answer. I saw him leaving throw the door, leaving the palace.. I went to the window, and saw his shape in the moonlight. Suddenly, the sea became green, as if it had a light inside it. The sky showed all possible colours and a strong wind forced me to close my eyes. When I opened them again, the night had come back, and Gandalf wasn't there. I felt the loss deep inside me. I had lost my guardian angel.  
  
We tried to go on sleeping, but I couldn't. I didn't know what was expecting for us now, how would we leave that century and end up in the next one.. things were too confusing. I was fixing my future life, but I didn't know how. I avoided the war of Troy and this was something that still worried me. Effects would be terrible.  
  
"Zana.. are you awake?" I felt Legolas sitting next to me.  
  
"Yes.. I can't sleep.. this is unbelievable.. what will happen now?" I looked at his eyes, that were shining in the darkness of the room.  
  
"I don't know.. but I have a very good feeling inside me.." He seemed to be happy, and I couldn't understand why.  
  
"What do you mean?" But he didn't reply, he just sighed, as if he was full of force inside him. The opposite of Haldir, who was sleeping with sadness in his face. After some moments of silence, Haldir also woke up. He looked at me but soon avoided my gaze.  
  
"We must go to the beach.. we have to be there in the sunset" He said, standing up.  
  
"Why?" I asked, and he gave me my bag.  
  
"Because Gandalf said so.." His voice was a bit sharp.  
  
"I don't remember this.." I replied, and he lost his patience.  
  
"Will you go to the beach with us or not?" I was surprised with his reaction.  
  
"Yes, but don't talk to me like this, Haldir. I don't know what's wrong with you.." He looked at me.  
  
"You're fixing your future indeed, Zana.. also mine" What was he saying? That I was spoiling his future?  
  
"Don't blame on me, I didn't look for this, I didn't make myself appear in Middle Earth and now here.." This looked like an argument. I felt really angry.  
  
"We can't change things, this is all. And you can't change anything whatever you will do. I wonder why Gandalf had to make me come back to life.."  
  
"Haldir, don't say those things!" Legolas looked at him, shocked. "What happened to you ?" They exchanged a look.  
  
"Lets go to the beach" He said in reply. We took our bags and walked in the halls.  
  
The beach was silent and empty. The sun, rising in the horizon. Legolas stared in the distance, and Haldir sat on the sand, looking at the water moving. I just didn't know what to do. Holding my bag, feeling scared.. speechless. Obviously we were waiting for something, but I didn't know what. Although Haldir seemed to know it. I caught him watching at me, and soon he turned his head.  
  
"I hate waiting.." Legolas murmured. And suddenly, a dense fog invaded the place. So dense that I almost couldn't see my friends. And then, the sound of a siren. From a ship maybe.. or maybe it was a horn.. my heart was beating so fast that it hurt. And I felt cold. It smelled of trees, of water.. of mountains. The sound of hundreds of steps and then, silence. I tried to look for Legolas and Haldir, but I couldn't see anything and I didn't dare to move.  
  
"Are you feeling OK?" A new voice asked me.. a very nice voice from a man. But I still was trying to look through the fog. A soft breeze made my vision clearer, and I was able to see the person who was talking to me. I was in a park, it seemed to be a city.. a modern city.. with stone buildings, streets.. but there was something else.. the cars.. they were old, as if I was in the 40's. I looked at the man. He was young, taller than me, and he spoke English with a strange accent.. as if he was.. German? His blue eyes looked at me worried. His face reminded me of the face of a child, but he was a bit older than me, I would say so. He walked two steps and leaned against me a bit. He wore an uniform, he was a soldier. I froze when I saw it. The black jacket, the eagles on the lapels. I started to shake violently. And Legolas wasn't there. Neither Haldir. "Miss.. what's wrong? Can I help you? I see you don't speak German.. " Yes, that shocked me. I didn't speak German. And I was in Germany.. in the Germany of the 40's. I had assured my own death. He was an official from the SS.  
  
"I'm a bit lost.. I'm a .." I didn't know if I should say the word "tourist".. he looked at me, insisting.  
  
"You are..? " His eyes were kind, which I couldn't believe, considering who was him and who he worked for.  
  
"Zana.. and I'm lost in this city.." He looked at my clothes, surprised.  
  
"And you're wearing only a summer dress.. if this can be called a dress.." His eyes didn't leave my face. He looked amazed, shocked.. he wasn't able to talk. "What happened to you?" Now things got complicated.. how would I explain him?  
  
"My family.. I got lost.. we were on a trip, and then.." I stopped, thinking of a possible answer.  
  
"They stole your belongings.. this is terrible" I looked at him, and nodded without thinking. "You must be frozen, Miss Zana.. I'm so sorry.. in those war times those things happen often.. there are thieves everywhere.."  
  
"War times?" I asked, and he looked so confused.  
  
"Second World War, Miss.." I felt dizzy, so scared I was. I knew what happened to people who didn't belong to their alliance.. and I was speaking English.. like Americans and British.. I was an enemy and he was a soldier from the Reich. "You must come with me and we'll get you warmer clothes.." But suddenly I didn't trust him. He would lead me to the police station where they would torture me to get information, and then send me to Auschwitz or any other similar place.  
  
"No, I won't go.." I murmured, shaking with fear. He smiled kindly.  
  
"Look at yourself.. you're shaking!" There was something friendly in his voice, although he was one of those monsters that Hitler created.. or maybe not.. maybe he was just a boy who was forced to work there.. this had happened in the past.. or should I say present? "Come with me" We looked at each other. I was unable to move. Since I was small, I always had panic when I saw those movies about Second World War.. about the things that the SS had done to people.. about all the horror.. I was living my own nightmare. And this soldier knew about my fear. I could see it on his face.  
  
"I prefer to stay here.." I said, wrapping myself with my arms.  
  
"I won't allow you to stay here, it's dangerous" He said, worried.  
  
"Dangerous? More dangerous than going with your people?" I blushed as soon as I said this. I had called the SS "people". He frowned.  
  
"What do you mean?" I almost started to cry. Everything was lost. They would send me to one of those camps.  
  
"I'm a foreign, I speak English.." He shrugged.  
  
"And? Which is the problem?" He asked, innocently.  
  
"Well.. you will consider me an enemy" He stared at me for a while.  
  
"Yes, you're right, maybe" His blue eyes were still on mines. I froze. "This is why you'll come with me without making answers, and this is why you'll have to trust me. Because I'll risk my life for you. I'm a SS official"  
  
"What would happen if I didn't go with you?" I asked, and he smiled in a strange way.  
  
"My co-workers would find you, bring you to the office of Herr Commandant, where he would decide what to do with you.. and Herr Himmler is not a friendly man.."  
  
"Himmler?" I remembered this man from my history books.. he was even worse than Hitler himself.. he had tortured and killed thousands of persons. "This can't be happening.." The cold air made me freeze, but I froze even more with the thought of that man.  
  
"Yes, and I don't know why but I'll do this for you. I'm not a loyal soldier as I was forced to serve.. and I'll risk my life to help you, but you'll have to help me too" His voice was a whisper.  
  
"How?" I murmured. He gave me his hand, and I took it.  
  
"Come to my house, we'll say you're Italian or Spanish.. they're not considered enemies here. Can you speak any of those languages? " I nodded, and he smiled happily.  
  
"Great.. so you'll be introduced in my house." I felt strange under his gaze. We walked through the park, and suddenly he stopped. "By the way. my name is Romih"  
  
--------------- ------------------ ------------------------ ------------- ------- -------------  
  
Legolas looked around himself. Haldir wasn't there.. and suddenly he remembered that they had forgotten about Gimli, who probably would still be sleeping in Troy. He covered his face with his hands. The place was strange, he had never seen something like that before. A lot of buildings, strange machines moving with people inside.. one of them almost killed him, and the man inside shouted things in a strange language.. noises, smog.. that world was horrible.. people looked at him, as he walked in the street. He was aware that he was so different from them. He had never felt so lost in his whole life. If that was the Future, he hated it.  
  
"Halt, Herr" Two men dressed in dark clothes stopped him. Speaking in a strange language. He couldn't understand what they were saying.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I.. " He couldn't go on speaking. He felt the beat before it came, and fell on the ground. Darkness came.  
  
The two soldiers came inside the office, and they knocked on a wooden door.  
  
"Come in" A rude voice said. The strong short man checked the visitors with curiosity. "Who is him?" Said, pointing at the elf.  
  
"We found him in the street, lost.. he can't speak German. Maybe he's a spy. His appearance.. his ears.. look.." The boss kept his breath. That man looked strange. "Leave me alone with him" The soldiers left, leaving Legolas on a chair, as he was waking up. His blue eyes checked the horrible place.  
  
"Where am I? " He asked, confused. He didn't like the expression on that man's face.  
  
"You speak English.. interesting.." An evil bright in his eyes. "Something is going on"  
  
----------------- ----------------------- ----------------- ------------- --------------  
  
Haldir saw himself dressed in strange clothes. His hair was short, very short. His ears round, not pointy. A black uniform. And he was walking in a strange place. Inside a high building. A black small machine started ringing, and a young woman came in.  
  
"Phone is ringing, Herr.. you won't reply it?" Haldir looked at her confused. She was speaking a strange language but he was able to understand it.  
  
"What?" He asked, and she smiled.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll reply it for you" She picked it up and talked. "Yes, Herr Himmler.. yes, he's here. I pass you with him" She gave Haldir the phone, and he imitated her movements.  
  
"Yes..? " A strong voice started to shout in his ear.  
  
"Herr Ghering, we have something interesting here, my soldiers found him in the street.. I wait for you, come in three minutes!" The man hang up. Haldir looked confused. The woman smiled.  
  
"You're an important man if Herr Himmler himself calls you" Haldir just nodded.  
  
"Yes..but where am I?" He murmured to himself. 


	47. Saved?

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana, Romih, Eva and Lena ***********************  
  
I'm having problems to update in fanfiction, I suppose they will put the new chapters sooner or later.. anyway, here's there's another one more.. maybe after reading it you get the impression that the end of this fic is near, but it's not, of course! : ) Believe me, I don't want to finish so soon and I still have many ideas inside my head.. at least I want to write the chapter 100th! : ) Thanks for all the reviews!  
  
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When we all give the power  
  
we all give the best.  
  
Every minute of an hour  
  
don't think about a rest.  
  
Then you all get the power  
  
you all get the best.  
  
When everyone gives everything and every song everybody sings.  
  
.Then it's live  
  
live is life  
  
And you call when it's over  
  
you call it should last.  
  
Every minute of the future is a memory of the past.  
  
'Cause we all gave the power  
  
we all gave the best.  
  
And everyone gave everything and every song everybody sang.  
  
-Live is life.- Opus  
  
I felt observed as we walked by the streets. A soldier from the SS with a half naked girl in the middle of the winter was more than strange for all the citizens. We crossed a rich neighbourhood, with big houses with their own gardens. Like in movies about 19th century.. the trees in the street, expensive dresses.. Romih obviously belonged to the snob part of Berlin.  
  
"We're almost there" He whispered, leading me to a big house. I looked at it surprised. Big windows all over the facade, balconies and a huge garden, al rounded by a high iron fence. "Here.." He showed me the way. When our eyes met, he smiled. "Don't worry, my mother will understand, you'll see. We're good people and my sister will help you with your clothes"  
  
"What do you mean? I'll meet your family? What will they think? Are you crazy?" I stopped and looked around, but he took my arm.  
  
"You must follow me, don't shout or else neighbours we'll put us in big trouble. Listen to me.." His blue eyes became kinder again. ""You don't have more options.. obviously you hide me something about your origins, but the truth is that I don't want to know it. This is something crazy but you arrived just in the right moment" I was more confused than ever, but I followed him, crossing the fence. He turned around to lock it and I was able to see the main door, with coloured glasses in the windows. I felt his hand in my arm again. Come on." I observed his as he opened the door. He had a nice childish face, with those innocent light blue eyes. He was strong, and his voice was deep. He kept the key and I cam inside that huge mansion. The lamps hanging from the ceilings probably cost more than all my furniture at home.  
  
"This is amazing.." I murmured, and he smiled.  
  
"This is what happens when your father dies for defending Hitler's ideas" His eyes became sad.  
  
"I'm sorry.." I didn't know what to say when I saw the pain in his face. But suddenly a loud voice came from the living room.  
  
"Romih! Is it you?" A woman of maybe sixty years old came in. She was tall, slim and blonde, and her blue eyes were exactly like Romih's ones. She stopped to watch at me, shocked. "Mein Gott!" She spoke German, and I shrugged. Romih walked towards her.  
  
"Mom, you can perfectly speak English, so please do it.. she's Zana. I found her in a park" The woman couldn't believe her eyes, checking my clothes.  
  
"But.. what kind of people are you bringing home? Why didn't you bring her to your boss?" The woman sighed suddenly. "No, of course not.. I'm sorry, girl.. I overreacted. Bringing you to Himmler would be like signing your death.." She looked at me kindly.  
  
"She lost all what she had with her.. someone stole her clothes except this.. dress.. and also her belongings.. she was confused and it seems she can't remember very well what happened.." They both analysed me. The woman took my hand.  
  
"Dear, you're completely frozen! Of course she can't remember anything, if we don't make her warm she will die! Hannah?" She shouted, and a servant came. "She can't speak English, but she will lead you to our guests room where you'll be able to take a bath. I'll bring you clothes of my daughter, you're similar.. she's not at home now, but when she'll come back, we'll drink hot tea and you'll eat something" Somehow I felt sure in that place, and tears came to my eyes.  
  
"Thank you very much, I was so scared.." Romih looked at me in a very kind way.  
  
"It was a pleasure, Miss Zana" I went upstairs, following that old woman, while they watched at me. I knew they would be talking and taking a decision, but I also knew that they would help me.  
  
After taking the bath and washing my hair, I found clean and warm dresses over the bed. Although I wasn't used to them , those skirts , high shoes and so on. I was like a German girl from the 40's. After getting completely ready ( I still missed my hairdryer), I left the room and walked downstairs, wondering where would my friends be. For the second time, I got really scared. What if something horrible had happened to them? I heard voices in the living room, speaking in German. When I came in, they turned around to meet me. Romih's mother smiled.  
  
"You look so nice! Come here.." She checked me, and I blushed. "Anyway.. there's something I don't like.. you can't walk with your hair over your shoulders! Polite girls wear it like me.." She pointed at her head. Great. Now I would have to wear one of those strange hairdos. "Hannah!" The old woman came back, forced me to sit and fixed my hair. "Now.. now you look really well" She smiled. "By the way, my name is Eva" I smiled back.  
  
"Thank you very much for everything.." I murmured, as I sat down in the sofa they showed me, and the hot tea was served. Romih sat in front of me, on a small chair. His blue eyes all time on me. We heard the door bell, and my heart started to beat so fast.  
  
"My daughter always forgets her keys.." Eva sighed, and in some seconds a blonde girl came in the room and looked at me in surprise.  
  
"I didn't know we had a visit" She walked towards me, and with a big smile, shook my hand. "I'm Lena" I felt shy under all their gazes. Lena sat with her mother and took the cup of tea. "I'll speak in English because I want to be polite with our new guest.." She gave me a quickly smile and then looked at her mother. " but I have to tell you, mom, that I'm really worried about tonight's party.. Hans doesn't know if he will be able to come, and you know that a girl of my age can't be alone!" She was about to cry. Which party were they talking about?  
  
"Lena, if Hans won't go, then you won't go neither.. all important members of the Reich will be there and you know that we can't risk anything.." Eva looked at Romih.  
  
"Excuse me.." I said, forgetting to be polite, forgetting about everything. I wanted to find my friends and leave that horrible time with nazists and war. The three looked at me. "I think you should explain me some things.. first, why did you risk everything for me, Romih?" I looked at him, whose eyes were still on me. "And second.. why did you bring me to your house, give me clothes, food.. if you don't know who I am or where do I come from?" Romih sighed, and Eva nodded,  
  
"Romih.." She said, inviting him to speak. He leaned against me, looking at the small table with an absent minded look in his eyes.  
  
"We're a rich family from Berlin. A very important one. And like all rich families, we have to support the Reich. If we do this, they won't take away from us all our things, our beloved people.. if we support them, we have food, shelter and protection.. any sign of disagreement.." He made a pause and I understood what he meant. "So when my father died last year, he became a kind of national hero.. he was sent to the war as a high sergeant, and he was killed there.. someone tried to kill Hitler when he visited the North, but the shot was wrong and it was my father the one who died.. so he saved his life.. and now we're getting all kind of compensations.. they gave me this important job and I had to accept it. " He stopped for a while, and drank some hot tea.  
  
"I understand this, of course.." I said, inpatient. "But which relation does this have with me?"  
  
"You see.. officials from SS have to be an example to follow.. all members of security forces have to be loyal, honest and.. have a family.." He looked at me, but I didn't understand.  
  
"You already have a family" Eva and Lena smiled and shook their heads. Romih smiled too.  
  
"No, Zana.. a family.. a wife and children.." Silence came. I became scared.  
  
"And..?" No, that couldn't be true.  
  
"Tonight there will be a party. With all important members of SS. And they think I'm married. I lied when I got this job. They asked me who was my wife, why she was never here.. and I had to invent a story. That she came from one of the allied countries in the South and that she was spending holidays with your family.. so it was a miracle when I found you.. I almost couldn't believe my eyes, you're exactly what I needed for tonight"  
  
"Wait, wait.." I said, a bit angry. "I won't marry you, I don't belong here, to this time, I've lost the people I most love and I won't stay here.." He nodded, kindly.  
  
"I know.. I only need you for tonight.." Eva gave a low shout.  
  
"Romih! And what will happen after tonight? What will you tell them? She has to stay with us, it was a sign from heaven!"  
  
"Mom, we can't force her.. she will save me tonight.. I can't ask her for more.." Romih looked at me and smiled sadly. He was a good man. I smiled back.  
  
"Thank you.." I said, and saw the sadness in his eyes. "But.. what will you do after tonight?" I couldn't help asking this. I felt so sorry for him.  
  
"I'll manage to survive.. " His blue eyes on mines. "And who knows what can happen.."  
  
"Yes, life is unpredictable" I replied, thinking. Eva stood up, together with her daughter.  
  
"We have to find a nice dress for tonight, Zana. And Romih has to go back to his work" We all stood up. " Come with us, we'll check the wardrobes" I followed them, and looked back once. Romih was standing in front of the main door, looking at me.  
  
"Thank you" I said, and he just smiled.  
  
-------------- ------------------ ---------------- --------------------- ---------------------  
  
Haldir was shocked. He was another person, in another time. He was a human, his own reincarnation.. but inside the same body.. how could that be possible? Where was his elf- body? Why he was still Haldir, aware that he was himself? Strange things were happening, exactly like Gandalf had said.. he still remembered those words inside his head. "Haldir.. every person has to reincarnate.. until they're completely ready to leave forever this world.. you'll know when your last reincarnation will happen" And he had replied "how?", and Gandalf had smiled. "You'll know it.. when the soul and the body will be one". Yes, he remembered his words.. he was sitting there, in a strange room with strange machines, he was Haldir of Lorien, with all the memories from Middle Earth, with all his personality.. with the same face and body.. but now he was human. The final step maybe? His elf-soul was inside a human body.. he was on Earth.. the circle, his life circle had been completed. He felt shocked. No, that couldn't be the end. He still had to travel with Zana, end the mission.. but her mission was to fix her own life.. and save Middle Earth.. obviously she had done it already.. Middle Earth was before Earth.. and now he was on Earth.. but.. when did she save it? Maybe she had jumped too in advance in time, and she would go back to the past.. maybe times were mixed and they were living the wrong one.. he couldn't believe that this was the end of Haldir, the end of his elfish life.  
  
"Herr Ghering? The car is ready for you. They will drive you to the office of Herr Himmler, where the prisoner is waiting. " The woman said, and he nodded, replying in that strange language he had suddenly learnt. Standing up, he looked through the window. A black big machine with four doors was waiting. A car. He had to get used to all the new things from that time. But the thing he didn't understand was his end.. it was like a punishment. Gandalf had left forever.. and he would have to live and die in that horrible part of time.  
  
Walking outside, he thought about Zana, Legolas and Gimli. Wondering if they were OK. Maybe they were sent to another time.. yes, most probable. This is why he was alone there. They got separated. For the first time in his life, he lost all hope and wishes to live. He stepped into the car, and saw the streets passing fast. He touched his ears, his new round ears. In the mirror of driver's seat he still looked like Haldir. But he wasn't an elf any more.  
  
They stopped in front of a huge grey building. When he came inside, he was led to a big room, where another man with the same uniform was waiting. He was short, strong, with a horrible expression on his ugly face.  
  
"Herr Ghering, finally you're here!" He invited him to come in, and Haldir followed the man. "We've found an interesting boy.. he only speaks English and a strange language we still couldn't decode.. but you know that we have effective systems to make people talk.." Haldir walked towards the other side of the room, and sat on a chair.  
  
"Today I don't feel very well, I hope you'll excuse me.." Haldir said, and Himmler looked at him worried.  
  
"But tonight an important event will take place! You can't avoid it!" Haldir frowned.  
  
"Important event?" When he saw the surprise in the man's eyes, he nodded quickly. "Oh, yes, of course!" He lied, and Himmler smiled.  
  
"This party will be great and al our officials and important people will come. Also Adolf promised me he would go.. so you can imagine what kind of event it will be."  
  
"Of course.." Haldir went on nodding. "What about this man you found?"  
  
"Oh!" Himmler returned to reality, and sat down. "He's in the next room. I would like you to talk to him alone.. I wasn't able to get any kind of useful information from him.. but maybe you'll be more.. skilled, if you know what I mean.." Haldir didn't like the look in that man's eyes. Standing up, he left the place and walked to the next room. He had the feeling that people who worked there were like monsters. And even more when he found out who was the poor wounded man sitting there. He closed the door behind him so fast.  
  
"Legolas!" He ran towards him. Legolas had his face full of blood, and he was whispering something in elvish. "Legolas, it's me, Haldir" But when the elf opened his eyes and saw the uniform, he shouted angry.  
  
"Leave me alone, man, you'll be sorry for this!" Legolas eyes were completely lost. For a moment, he analysed the man in front of him, and then he calmed down. "Haldir!It's you. what is going on here? Why are you wearing their clothes? Why did they beat me?" Haldir asked him to shut up.  
  
"We've ended up in another century.. there's a war between men and there are enemies everywhere.. and.. Legolas, something terrible happened.. I'm not an elf any more.."  
  
"What? " Legolas checked his face. "Haldir, what happened?"  
  
"I'm not Haldir any more, they call me by a strange name.. Legolas, I'm a human.. and this is my last reincarnation. This is the end for me.. but you must find Zana and go on with the mission.. you're an elf, obviously.." He looked at his ears. "And where is Gimli?" They looked at each other.  
  
"Haldir, I must escape from here.. let me go!"  
  
"Wait, if I let you go, they would discover me.. I have to think of something.." Haldir stood up, looking through the window.  
  
"You can't leave me here!" Legolas shouted. "Untie me!"  
  
"Legolas, please, trust me. I have a plan" His blue eyes shone. "Maybe I'm condemned to be a human from now on, and die in this horrible world.. but inside me I'll always be Haldir of Lorien"  
  
----------------- ------------------ ------------------- ---------------- -- ----------------- ---------  
  
Gimli woke up, looking around himself. The sun was burning his face. It was day in Troy. And he was alone. Standing up, he left the room, asking for them. Nobody knew.  
  
"They left me here! I can't believe it!" He shouted, beating a column with his small feet. "Aargh!!!!"  
  
"What's wrong?" A voice asked behind him. He turned around and met a strange man dressed in strange clothes.  
  
"My friends left me. in Troy!"  
  
"Troy? What are you talking about?" Gimli looked around.. it was another palace, in another time. The man in front of him was an elf.  
  
"Middle earth? I'm in Middle Earth?" He asked, shocked.  
  
"Well.. no, you're on a stage in New Zealand.. we're filming a movie and it seems you escaped from the set and fell asleep like always"  
  
"What are you talking about? What is New Zealand?" He asked, confused. The elf laughed.  
  
"Come on, they're waiting for you" He took his arm, and Gimli jumped.  
  
"No! I want to find Haldir, Legolas and Zana!"  
  
"Zana? What the hell are you talking about? Peter is waiting for you, come on!" The elf had lost his patience. Gimli followed him and suddenly felt a strong headache. Everything became black. Something was happening to him, obviously. He heard the same kind of cries from the next room. He saw a shape, a tall man, walking towards him.. but there was something wrong about him.. they both looked exactly the same. When they looked at each other, Gimli shouted. He had met his reincarnation, his own double. And that wasn't a good thing. 


	48. Invitation

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana, Romih, Eva and Lena ********************  
  
Here goes another chapter! I have the feeling that I'm separating too much from Lord of the rings.. what do you think? The truth is that I like mixing things from "our" world too.. well, anyway.. just to make characters more real.. for all of you who would be interested, I made a kind of poster with almost all the characters from this story because I based them on "real " people .. I mean, maybe you would like to know how does Romih look like, for example.. : ) And yes, there's also a picture of Zana : ) I made a kind of "collage".. well, you'll tell me.. : ) Thanks for all the reviews!  
  
************* ****************** ******************* ***************  
  
I woke up this morning  
  
And the streets were full of cars  
  
All bright and shiny  
  
Like they'd just arrived from Mars  
  
And as I stumbled through  
  
Last nights drunken debris  
  
The paperboy screamed out  
  
The headlines in the street  
  
Another war and now the pound Is looking weak  
  
And tell me have you read about The latest freak  
  
We're bingo numbers and our Names were obsolete  
  
Why do I feel bitter when I Should be feeling sweet  
  
Hello, hello  
  
Turn your radio on  
  
Is there anybody out there  
  
Help me sing my song  
  
La la la life is a strange thing  
  
Just when you think you learn How to use it it's gone  
  
- Hello - Shakespeare's sisters  
  
For the past hour I had been selecting clothes from Lena's wardrobe, and it turned out that we had similar size, so fortunately I didn't look too horrible with her party dress. I wondered how I always managed to end in a party wherever I went.. Mirkwood, Troy and now Berlin. But that time I was really scared. I had studied about those times, I had read many books about politics and their primitive laws about Jewish.. and I felt real panic. After all, I didn't know Romih, Eva and Lena. I had to trust them, but deep inside I was willing to run away from there. But I went to the living room.  
  
My cup of tea was still on the table, already cold, but I took it anyway. It was dark outside. Winter was like that.. the sun disappeared after 5 pm. I noticed my hands shaking. I thought about Legolas and Haldir. They hadn't end up there with me.. that could mean that our destinies had been separated.. maybe that was the end of my mission.. maybe I had to stay there forever.. the thought made me freeze, and I took a deep breath. The house was silent, Eva and Lena went on shopping and left me alone. I didn't dare to turn on the lamps, afraid of being seen from the street. Whenever a soldier with uniform walked there, my heart seemed to stop beating.  
  
The sound of steps in the doorway paralysed me. I listened carefully, left the cup on the small table and walked behind the sofa. The key opened the door and someone closed it behind him. Silence. I kneeled on the ground, hidden by furniture. The steps came to the living room, I closed my eyes, almost praying.  
  
"Hallo?" A known voice asked, and I stood up, calmed. Romih jumped. "Zana! You scared me! What were you doing there, hidden?" He turned the lamp on, and looked at me. "You're shaking!" Walking towards me, I left the corner and nodded.  
  
"I didn't know who was coming.. I was afraid that someone had discovered me." I saw the kind smile on his face again.  
  
"Don't be scared.. nobody will come here because everybody trusts me.. " His blue eyes on mines were smiling. We both sat on the big sofa, he was still checking me. "I just finished work now.. I was wondering all time how would you be spending the afternoon.." I felt a bit nervous under his gaze.  
  
"As you can see.. I'm alone, hidden and with a dress for the party ready" He smiled, and nodded.  
  
"This sounds interesting" I smiled too. I felt a lot better by then.  
  
"Romih.." he looked at me, and I tried to keep my thoughts away from Legolas and Haldir. "What kind of party will be? Who will be there? What do I have to do?" I was afraid of being discovered, afraid of being sent to one of those camps.. afraid of everything.  
  
"You don't have parties in the place where you come from?" He asked, interested. I realised that his childish face was so nice.  
  
"Well.. we have them, yes.. but there's no danger on them.. not this kind of danger, at least.. " I looked through the window, remembering Mirkwood and Troy. And also parties from my world. They seemed to be centuries ago. My world, my time.. for the first time in days, I wondered how would people be thinking about me.. maybe they had called police, maybe the whole country was looking for me.. or maybe I had changed the past so much, that nothing of that was happening. I felt lost again.. without Legolas, without Haldir..  
  
"Zana?" Romih leaned against me, and I looked at him. "Are you OK?"  
  
"I'm sorry, I was just remembering.." A moment of silence came.  
  
"I won't ask you about things you don't want to tell me.." He said, softly. "But maybe I could help you if you decided to do it.." I looked at his blue eyes and saw kindness. Like in Legolas eyes.  
  
"I know that your intentions are good, Romih.. but believe me that it's a lot more complicated than you think.." Yes, how could I explain him that I came from the future, that I had travelled to the past, where the Earth was called Middle Earth?  
  
"Don't worry" He said, standing up, with a smile. "Something tells me that one day you'll open yourself and that I only need to be patient.."  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked, looking at him. He shrugged.  
  
"I risked my life lying at work.. I invented a life that wasn't true, I invented a wife, a story .. and just today, when I saw everything dark because tonight I'll have to face the most dangerous and important people from SS, when I needed a girl who spoke Spanish or Italian.. you just appeared on my way, as if you had fallen from Heaven.." His gaze became mysterious. Then, he looked at me. "Do you believe in Destiny, Zana?" He was right.. everything had gone perfectly.. I needed a shelter.. I needed good people in those horrible times.. and the first person I met after that strange journey was him. I looked at him too.  
  
"Maybe.." I noticed that my voice was just a whisper. Yes, maybe that was the end. Maybe Legolas and Haldir were already back in Middle Earth. Maybe I had already solved my life and since always I was meant to live in the 40's and not in 21rst century. Maybe that was my real life. Romih left the room with a smile.  
  
"We have to get ready for the party." He gave me a last look before going upstairs.  
  
"You still didn't tell me about it!" I shouted.  
  
"On our way there he will tell you.. now, get dressed" Eva was watching me from the main door with a smile.  
  
"Hans will come with me and we all will go there" Lena was about to explode of happiness. I envied her. "Come on, we have a lot of work.. the party will be at 9"  
  
"But it's still 6.." I said, surprised.  
  
"We know" They both replied, serious. I sighed.  
  
------------ -------------------- --------------------- ----------------- ---- ---------------  
  
Haldir came inside Himmler's office, with an angry look. He hoped that the horrible man would believe his lies. He knew that Legolas would die if he left him on his hands.  
  
"Ghering, my friend.. what did you get from him?" His small eyes smiled evilly. Haldir hated him in that moment. And he went on with his plan.  
  
"You see.. I was thinking of bringing him with me to my home.."  
  
"Why?" A suspicious look on Himmler's eyes made Haldir freeze for a moment. But he didn't loose his skills.  
  
"There I have more.. tactics.. to make him speak. if you know what I mean.." Haldir tried to smile like that man. And he got a laugh in reply.  
  
"I see it's true what they say about you.. you're evil.." His laughs were horribly loud. For a moment, he didn't speak, but then he shrugged. "Hey, you're responsible of him.. if something goes wrong, it will be your fault.. not mine.. and you know what happens when you do something wrong.." Haldir wondered what was the meaning of those words, and then decided he didn't want to know.  
  
"I know, of course.. and I accept this responsibility" He waited for a reply, his heart beating fast. Himmler nodded.  
  
"He's all yours.." Haldir smiled, and walked towards the door. " But wait.." He froze, and turned around.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"The party begins at 9.. you must finish before going. You know who will be there, you can't miss it" Himmler gave him a paper with an address written.  
  
"I won't" Leaving the room, he opened the door of the next one and saw that Legolas looked better than before. "Come on.. once I'll discover where I live.. we'll be safe"  
  
"What do you mean? What happened?" Legolas eyes watched around himself, confused.  
  
"It's a strange story, and I better tell you on our way home.. " Haldir checked his pockets and took a wallet. Wondering what was that, he opened it and saw a kind of card with his face on it. Scared, he left it on the table. "What is this? My face is on a paper!!What kind of world is this?" Looking around himself, he saw more "papers with faces" on the walls.. it seemed that those humans had invented something to put themselves on books and walls. The door opened and a man showed up.  
  
"Herr Ghering, the car is waiting.. I'll drive you home" Haldir sighed. Taking the wallet, he realised that his name was different and that he lived on a street in his own house.. and he was popular there..  
  
"Come on, Legolas.. I want to wake up from this nightmare"  
  
---------------- --------------------- ---------------------- ----------- ---------- -------------  
  
I watched myself on the mirror and remembered the party in Mirkwood, and how different were things in that moment. All dresses of Lena were blue, except the one she would be wearing, that was white. And I saw myself so different, with my hair in a strange hairdo, the skirt covering my knees and the top part showing my arms and showing too much in the front part.  
  
"I can't wear this.. I will call people's attention.." I said, feeling a bit uncomfortable. Eva smiled.  
  
"You'll see.. most of women in those parties wear clothes like this, so nobody will say anything about you.. times changed, Zana.. we're not on 19th century anymore.." I laughed when I heard that remark.. if they only knew where did I come from.. soon she turned around to help Lena with her dress and I checked myself again. I wasn't anything special. I shrugged, and I checked time in my wrist watch. Soon, both women looked at it surprised.  
  
"What kind of watch are you wearing?" I tried to hide it, aware that it would be too complicated to explain them.  
  
"Nothing.. special technology.." They didn't look too convinced, but luckily for me, they were too polite to insist. I removed it from my wrist and kept it inside a drawer. Lena gave me a bracelet, smiling. "Thank you" I said, looking around.  
  
"Now that we are ready.. I'll see if my car is ready to leave" Said Eva, leaving the room.  
  
"Leave now? Where?" I asked, and Lena shrugged.  
  
"I don't know.. I'll have dinner outside with Hans, and my mother was invited in another restaurant.. we'll meet you later in the party" She smiled and sighed. "I love those events, although I hate hypocrisy on those horrible people who will go.. fortunately Hans is not like them.."  
  
"He's your boyfriend?" I asked, and she nodded.  
  
"We'll marry in summer.. wait, now he's here.." We heard the main door, and she ran downstairs, leaving me there alone.. perfect. Eva and Lena left were going to have dinner outside. I was surprised that they had ignored me, without offering food or anything.. just a "meet you in the party" phrase. They cared about me before, but now it seemed they only thought about having fun. I looked through the window and saw a black luxurious car, Lena coming inside it. Another car waited for Eva, and she also left. Great. I was so hungry, and alone in that big house. I walked towards the door and went downstairs.  
  
"Are you ready?" I turned around and met Romih. He looked at me slowly, and smiled. "I like those clothes more on you than on my sister"  
  
"Thanks.." I blushed, and he walked towards me, giving me a coat. "Where do we go?" I asked, buttoning the long warm grey coat.  
  
"I reserved a table in a nice restaurant" He replied, opening the main door.  
  
"With your mother and sister?" I asked, without understanding. He let me pass first, and when I turned around he was smiling.  
  
"No, only you and me" He offered me his arm while we walked towards his car. I took it. "I suppose I should know a bit more about my wife before bringing her to a party" His blue eyes shone. I didn't know what to say. "Come in" Said, opening the door.  
  
-------------- ---------------- ------------------ ------------------ -- ----------------- -----  
  
Gimli stopped shouting, as well as the man in front of him.  
  
"Oh, God, you dwarf, you look exactly like me!!" The man said, kneeling on the ground. "But I'm wearing this custom.. I feel ill.. Viggo gave me a strong drink instead of water, I'm sure." Gimli observed him.  
  
"Viggo? What are you talking about? Do you know what does this mean? I've found my double! It's the end!!" Gimli jumped, beating the walls. "The end, the end, the end.." He went on beating boxes, chairs..  
  
"Calm down, man.." He turned around and shouted.  
  
"Aragorn!!" The man smiled.  
  
"Yes, but only for two hours.. so please, call me by my real name"  
  
"What?" Gimli was completely lost. A big group of people had come and observed them, amazed.  
  
"It's seems a fan managed to come here.. look, he's exactly like Gimli.." A woman who was wearing folders commented.  
  
"Because I am Gimli!!" He shouted, and they all laughed. He felt shocked. What was that?  
  
"What happens here?" A man with long curly hair asked, and when someone was about to reply, they realised that the tall man who looked like Gimli had disappeared. Now they only saw the dwarf. Who looked like the man.  
  
"Great.. what have you done?" Gimli murmured to himself. "I have to escape." He ran towards a door, and realised that it wouldn't be so easy. Behind the fake kind of forest, he found a group of huge metal machines with four wheels that made a horrible noise and they moved, carrying persons. Amazed, he stopped. "Where am I?"  
  
"New Zealand" Turning around, he met Galadriel. She was smiling. "And I'm the real one. Welcome to our new time, my friend." Gimli almost fainted.  
  
"Cate!!" A voice shouted, and Galadriel looked back.  
  
"I have to go.. we'll talk later. Wait for me there" She pointed at a big white machine that seemed to have a house inside. "It's called caravan" She smiled, leaving him alone again.  
  
------------ ------------------- --------------------- ------------------ ------ ----------------  
  
Haldir and Legolas arrived in a big house behind a wooden fence. The whole street was full of them. Carefully, Legolas left the car and walked towards the door. Haldir took the keys and managed to open it. Once inside, he locked it, walked to the living room and put curtains back. Legolas looked through a window and, for a moment, he froze. It couldn't be possible.. he was dreaming.. a car was stopped in the house in front of them. A tall young man dressed in a suit was opening the door.. and the girl who was with him.. not, he must be dreaming..  
  
"Haldir? Can you please come here?"  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked, walking towards him, and when Legolas looked outside again, the car had already left.  
  
"Nothing.." He murmured. He had visions about Zana and that meant that he was completely crazy. When he looked again at Haldir, at his human body.. he froze. "Haldir.. this can be the end.."  
  
"I know, Legolas.. I know" Silence came. "I must go to a party. Something tells me that I have to go"  
  
"What will I do in the meanwhile? I can't stay here, I must find Zana!" Legolas was almost out of control. Haldir took a deep breath.  
  
"Legolas.. since we left Middle Earth we always travelled together.. and now Zana and Gimli are not here.. don't you realise that she's changing her own future and our future too? Gandalf said that only her future would be changed.. but look at me!" He pointed at his ears. "I'm a human!"  
  
"Zana is here.. I can feel it.." Legolas murmured, but Haldir shook his head.  
  
"No. Zana is somewhere else and we can't find her. Destiny didn't join us here"  
  
"I'm not so sure. " Legolas looked at Haldir. "Can you please check your wardrobe?" Haldir gave him a confused look. "And I need something.. like this" He picked up a scissors from a desk.  
  
"Why?" Haldir opened a door and found a kind of collection of clothes.  
  
"We must go to a party" Legolas smiled mysteriously, as he started to cut his hair. 


	49. I'll stay with you

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana, Romih, Eva and Lena ****************  
  
Exams times at University, uf.. I'm afraid that I won't be able to update so fast, I mean, maybe one chapter every weekend.. I hate being a student! Writing this story relaxes me a lot so I won't stop it. I'm so happy when I read the reviews! I'm aware of my grammar mistakes, so when I'll have more time I'll ask for help : ) If my memory works well, one of you offered to correct my mistakes, and I would really appreciate it.. so thank you very much for everything!  
  
******************* ******************* ***************** *******  
  
I'm dancing in the shadows of life  
  
And death is all around me tonight  
  
Beside myself I'm holding you tight  
  
Someone is waiting for me to rise  
  
And dive into the ocean I cried  
  
And I cried and I cried my baby to sleep  
  
Beside myself my soul to keep  
  
Right beside you I see  
  
Right beside you I stay  
  
Right beside you I'll be  
  
Right beside you always  
  
We're dancing in the shade of the summer sun  
  
The drums are playing the change to come  
  
Was yesterday in the heat  
  
Beside myself I need to keep  
  
The restaurant was built in a huge stoned house, with a luxurious facade and balconies carved on it. It was starting to rain and we hurried inside. A waiter came with a smile and Romih talked to him. At once he was leading us to a corner , in the end of the hall. Ground was made of marble, and from the high ceilings, glass lamps were hanging elegantly. The small tables for two persons were placed along the sides of the room, and many couples were enjoying their dinners. I sat on the dark red velvet sofa, Romih in front of me. The small table separated us, and the candles over it gave a magical light to that place. Anyway, my thoughts were in another part in that moment. Legolas and Haldir were still missing, as well as Gimli.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Romih asked, and I looked at him, surprised with my reaction when I saw his nice blue eyes in the candlelight. "What?" He smiled, and I blushed.  
  
"I think I won't be able to eat anything.." I murmured, feeling my stomach compressed.  
  
"Of course you will eat, there's a long and complicated night waiting for us.." He took the menu and passed me it. I looked at him.  
  
"Is your situation so risky that you would do all those things for me?" My question surprised him.  
  
"More than you can imagine.. tonight you'll save my life" He whispered, and in the end smiled. Looking at the menu, I tried not to think about all the new things that were coming inside my head. A moment of silence came, and I needed some seconds to realise that I couldn't understand a word in German and that I was just staring at the paper. Romih also realised it, and took the folder with a smile. "I can choose for you, if you want" I nodded, silently. After the waiter left, he leaned against the table. "Maybe we must agree on a plan.."  
  
"A plan?" I asked, and he looked around himself.  
  
"People will ask about us, about how did we meet, about your past life.. they think we're married since last summer, so we must invent something, Zana" His blue eyes didn't move from mines, and I found difficulties to think clearly. What was happening to me? I missed Legolas and Haldir, Romih was just a stranger I had just met some hours ago. I tried to look calmed, angry with myself.  
  
"What do you suggest?" He shrugged, and a kind of smile showed up on his lips.  
  
"I went on holidays to an exotic place.. escaping from the cold Germany.." He was making fun of me.  
  
"I don't live in an exotic place.." I tried to look sharp, but he went on smiling.  
  
"And I found you on a beach, laying in the sun.."  
  
"I don't like laying in the sun, and I come from the Northern part, we have cold winters and summers of only 20 degrees.."  
  
"Really? I'm glad to see that you started talking about your mysterious past.."  
  
"This is all what you need to know about me" Suddenly, he looked worried.  
  
"I understand that you're living a difficult situation.. you appeared all from the sudden, you don't want to talk about it.. I only hope that there's nothing dangerous behind this story.. else, I'll have to leave you here.." I froze, and looked at him scared. We stared at each other for some seconds, and soon his smile came again. "I was joking.." I took a deep breath.  
  
"Don't ever do this again.." The waiter brought us two dishes, meat and potatoes. I was glad to find common food there.  
  
"In those war times it's difficult to find.. luxurious menus.. "He apologised.  
  
"I do like this, don't worry. I'll be more than happy eating steaks, I missed them!" He looked at me, surprised. With a strange gaze. "What?" I asked, confused.  
  
"You're so different from German girls.. they ask for all possible things, and even more.. they want jewels, cars and parties.. and you're happy with a modest lunch.." I wondered why he was so shocked that he even couldn't take the fork.  
  
"I'm not German.." Was my simple reply, and finally he decided to start eating. When I took a potato I heard something that stopped me.  
  
"Who are you, Zana?" Our eyes met again, and I looked down.  
  
"I'm a girl who lost her future and had to come back to past to fix it" I was about to smile when I saw his face.  
  
"What?" And then he nodded. "A metaphor, I suppose.." After a silence I heard his nice voice again. "Heart business?"  
  
"No, no" I realised I had replied so fast.. what was I hiding? Why couldn't I tell him that I loved.. two elves.. or men? I remembered Gandalf's words.. I was fixing my own life, and my way back to future would be different.. now I was there, alone.. my friends had gone.. maybe I was destined to live in that time, this would explain everything.  
  
"Zana?" Romih asked, worried. "Are you OK?" I nodded, with a smile.  
  
"Just thinking.."  
  
"You're always thinking" We went on eating in silence. And I observed him. I didn't remember when was the last time I had really missed my friends.. I felt as if I was at home.. with the right person.. no, no, what was I saying? That couldn't be the end, I still had to make lots of things, and future was waiting for me. But somehow, I forgot about everything when his blue eyes stared at me again.  
  
"You're my wife, we met in summer, when we both were having holidays in Italy. But you're not Italian. We were sleeping in the same hotel and we met in the restaurant. Since the first moment I fell in love with you, and during one month I was able to make you love me too. Then, you had to come back to your country, and I returned to Germany and got the job. When everything was settled, you moved here, exactly today" I stared at him, he had spoken so fast that I needed some time to understand what he was saying. "You know.. the story we'll tell." He explained, suddenly a bit shy.  
  
"Oh.. of course.. yes, it's a good story.." I didn't know what else to say, and luckily for me, the waiter brought us the coffees and picked up the dishes. When we were alone again, he took his wallet, and showed me a picture.  
  
"He was my father.. " I was surprised with that confidence.. I was used to more reserved boys. I saw sadness in his eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry" I said, and he smiled.  
  
"I just thought that my wife should know about his appearance.." He kept it again, and then looked at the candle, lost in his thoughts.  
  
"What will happen after the party? I mean, what will happen tomorrow? " My question changed his face.. I hated to admit that mine also changed.  
  
"I can't ask you to stay.. because we don't know each other, and you have your own life, whatever is it.. you must find what you have lost.." He looked at me and I blushed.  
  
"I guess it's true.. but I really don't know if I actually lost something.."  
  
"Promise me something" He said, suddenly. "Promise me that when you'll leave, you'll tell me all the truth about you.. I need to know that you'll be OK.."  
  
"You almost don't know me.. we met few hours ago.. I'm sure you don't need to know it" I tried to smile, surprised because my own words were hurting me.  
  
"I can't explain it, Zana.. but I do. I have the feeling that we met before, and I'm sure that never before I had felt so comfortable with a girl, and this has to mean something. I believe in destiny and you were brought here. " I looked at my cup, full of coffee.  
  
"Talk to me about those kind of parties" He smiled, and I was happy to change from subject.  
  
--------------- --------------------- ---------------------- ------------ --------- ---------  
  
Haldir and Legolas walked in the crowded place. Full of tables and the smoke from cigarettes, a band over a stage playing music, and in the end of the room, a huge second room with high ceilings where hundreds of people were dancing. Loud voices filled the air. Half of them were already drunk. Haldir observed that most of men were wearing the same uniforms as him.  
  
"So this is a human party from Zana's world?" Haldir murmured, and Legolas felt a kind of pain when he heard her name. He touched his head, his hair so short that he looked like all those soldiers. His pointy ears hidden under the hat. His hand moved fast over it when he felt someone trying to remove it.  
  
"Your hat, Herr.." A waiter asked, and Legolas didn't understand the language. Looking at Haldir, asking for help, he tried to smile.  
  
"My friend wants to keep it, thanks" The elf replied, and Legolas looked at him surprised.  
  
"You speak this language.." His blue eyes were confused.  
  
"There are too many things I don't understand, and I want to escape from this world as soon as possible" They stopped in the bar, and sat on the small high chairs. A waiter brought them two cocktails, and while they drank them, they looked around.  
  
"Do you think that Zana is here?" Legolas murmured, and Haldir saw hope in his eyes.  
  
"Maybe being a human changed me, Legolas.. but I don't expect to find her here.. I don't expect to find Gimli neither.. somehow, they both found their destiny." His blue eyes looked inside the liquor.  
  
"I don't like when you talk like this. As a human, you're horrible. I wish that Aragorn was here, I have the feeling that I'm also loosing you"  
  
"My emotions changed.. I've lost my elvish mind, remember it.. but my heart is the same.."  
  
"I don't believe you..you already gave up, you already accepted that Zana won't come.. I can't recognise you.." He stopped talking when he saw Haldir's face. He was so pale, so shocked, looking at the main door. "Haldir, what's wrong..? " He followed his gaze and he felt his heart stopping. There , on the main door, a couple had just arrived. A tall young man wearing the usual uniform, holding a girl's arm.. Zana's arm..  
  
"It can't be possible.." Haldir couldn't move, and it was Legolas the one who was able to react. He felt Haldir's hand on his arm, stopping him. "Legolas, we can't call people's attention, and you know it.." Legolas needed all his will to stop.  
  
"Zana.. she's here.. but then, what's going on?" A fat short man walked towards them, the horrible man who kept him kidnapped. Legolas knew he was in danger.. he was dressed as a German soldier, but he couldn't speak German. "Haldir, please, help me.." Haldir froze when Himmler stopped in front of them, looking at Legolas with a suspicious gaze. As soon as the man arrived, Legolas went into the dancing crowd.  
  
"Who was your friend?" Himmler asked. Haldir noticed he was drunk.  
  
"A soldier.. come on, I invite you.. you're not drunk enough!" Haldir tried to distract him, and soon the man laughed and asked for a whiskey. They started a stupid conversation, and Haldir went on giving him strong drinks. His eyes weren't as good as his former elvish ones, so he lost Legolas after some minutes. When Himmler was absent minded, talking to another guest, he ran towards the main door, but the couple had already disappeared.  
  
------------------- --------------------- ------------------- ----------- -------- ---------------  
  
I gave my coat to the waiter, and looked around. The place was charming, so big and old, but full of light. The soft music came to my ears, and the sound of smiles from people. For the first time I relaxed a bit. Romih looked at me.  
  
"So we're here.. " He took my hand, and we walked between the small tables, towards the dancing room. Once there, I was amazed with the size of the place..hundreds of people were moving there, the bar along both sides, the high ceilings with glass lamps, it looked like a castle.  
  
"This place is so nice.." I murmured, and he led me towards a corner.  
  
"Zana.. look there" He pointed at a horrible man, completely drunk. "He's my boss"  
  
"That one? Your boss? But he even can't stand on his feet.." Romih nodded, smiling.  
  
"He looks inoffensive.. but he's the most dangerous man in the SS" His words made me freeze, yes, but I froze even more when my brain reacted and I heard myself speaking.  
  
"Himmler?" Now Romih looked shocked.  
  
"How can you know him..?" His blue eyes looked distant for the first time since we met. "Nobody would have recognised him so fast.." He left my hand.  
  
"Romih.. I know many things about everything.. " I felt as if I had spoiled my own life, just one name, Himmler, and now Romih didn't trust me any more.  
  
"Unless you'll give me a good explanation.. I'm afraid I won't be able to stay here with you.. I'm risking too much.."  
  
"Romih, please.. listen to me.. I know about this, like I know about past.. I live in a world where things can be known.. I'm not a spy, if this is what you're thinking about.. but I heard about him.. like I've heard about the horrible things that the SS make to.."  
  
"Shut up, Zana.. look where you are! You're with almost thousand of SS people.." He looked scared. Then, taking my arm, we walked to a more hidden place. "Listen to me.. I don't know why, but I trust you.. we have to meet my boss, he's waiting for all his guest to do it.. please, try to look calmed.. " he took a deep breath, and looked at me kindly. "I'm sorry because I lost my nerves.. I don't doubt about you, Zana.. " I smiled, and when he took my hand and kissed it, I felt a bit dizzy.  
  
We were walking towards the quiet area, where people were sitting on small tables having a calmed drink. I tried not to push anybody as we moved along the crowd. I knew that Romih was with me because I felt his hand on mine, not because I was able to see him. Lights were soft there, and soldiers so tall that I couldn't distinguish anything. Finally we reached the bar, and when Himmler saw us, a big smile drew on his lips.  
  
"Romih" He greeted him, shook hands and started a speech in German, Romih looked so calmed, smiling back and nodding. When they both looked at me, I knew I was the subject from their conversation.  
  
"Venezia?" Himmler asked, and I froze. What did he want to mean? Romih gave me a warning look, nodding.  
  
"Oh, yes, Venezia" I tried to smile, my heart was beating so fast. To my surprise, Himmler started to speak English.  
  
"You met in Venezia.. Romih is a romantic boy, my poor boy, whose father was a hero!" He moved his dizzy hands in the air. "A hero who died for our Adolf.."I thought he would start crying, but soon his red fat cheeks smiled again. "It was about time to met you! I thought you didn't exist" We three laughed, I saw Romih more and more nervous. "And you know what would happen if she didn't exist, right, Romih?" Then, Himmler looked at me. "So now that you're real.. enjoy the party!" He seemed to turn back to take his glass, and when we were leaving, we heard his voice again. "You didn't show me the expensive ring you gave her.. " Romih froze, as well as I did. He didn't have a ring on his hand.. and I only had Haldir's one. But it was a strange ring with a flower made of a kind of stone.. what if it wasn't as expensive as he expected? Shaking, I turned around and showed him my hand. A woman behind him looked too, taking her glasses.  
  
"Oh, mein Gott!" She shouted, in German, and murmured something in Himler's ear. Then he looked at me.  
  
"Romih! This is the most expensive jewel I had ever seen!" Romih looked as surprised as them, but soon he smiled and took my hand, hiding the ring.  
  
"I would do anything for her " Himmler looked satisfied.  
  
"This is what we want.. a good father and a good husband.. well, when will children come?" And his strong laughs filled the air, as we were leaving. I realised how nervous I had felt when we finally reached a quiet place. Romih leaned against a marble column and took a deep breath, looking at me.  
  
"You really saved me, Zana" His blue eyes smiled gratefully. "I owe you my life"  
  
"Don't exaggerate.. I also owe you mine.. you found me when I was lost.."  
  
"Is this another metaphor?" He smiled kindly, and then looked at my hand. "Zana.. can I ask you where did you get such a ring? In those times, those pieces are sold in the black market, people need food.." He was right, I was so stupid.. probably I was one of the few women there wearing jewels.. "Anyway." He went on. "Now they think you come from a good family, so you really saved me, Zana.. " We stared at each other for some moments, and suddenly I couldn't bear the lies any more, I couldn't bear my silence, I needed to tell him everything.. but I knew it wouldn't be possible.  
  
"I found this ring on a beach.. it came from the sea.." Somehow, it was true.  
  
"I want to believe you.." He smiled, and sighed. "Why not? Maybe a rich old woman threw it from a big ship.." We both smiled. He was so nice.. he accepted all my explanations, he didn't care about my past.. he was just there, making me feel so comfortable after the difficult times I had lived.. I realised I was looking at him too much.  
  
Someone spoke in German behind us, and when I turned around, I opened my mouth. Only this, opened, completely opened and without saying a word. I heard Romih talking behind me, in German too. But I was too shocked to react.  
  
"Zana, this soldier is the second boss.. Ghering" Haldir gave me his hand, shaking mine.  
  
"Pleased to meet you" He looked so calmed, so..  
  
"He asked me if he can dance with you, and I said that as my wife, you have the last word" Romih smiled, and I tried to smile too. "Ghering, she's the woman I told you about.. we married last summer" Haldir didn't move when he heard this, he just smiled. I couldn't believe that. Why was he acting like this? Was I so different that he couldn't recognise me? "Zana.." Romih called me. "What do you say?"  
  
"Ye.. Yes, I'll dance with him"  
  
"Ok then.. I have to talk to my boss again because I'm sure he wants to know all details about us.. see you in some minutes" I felt his hand on my shoulder, and he realised this was a too friendly sign, so he stopped and kissed my cheek. I blushed. Once we were alone, I looked at Haldir again. He was changed.. he was called Ghering, he had round ears.. he was not an elf any more..  
  
"I know what you're thinking, Zana.. but you have to pretend that nothing happens or else we'll put us in a big trouble" He led me to the dancing floor, where we started to move slowly. "I can't believe I found you again.. I thought I would never see you again" I was still too shocked, confused..  
  
"What about Legolas?"  
  
"He's here.. but he's in danger.." I stopped moving.  
  
"Where is he?" But Haldir pushed me against him again.  
  
"Zana, please.. trust me and obey me, and nothing bad will happen. We have to escape from here. Tonight. We'll leave the party in some minutes" When I heard this, I felt so bad. But.. why? I should be happy.. I should be happy as I was in Mirkwood, Troy or wherever we went, as long as I was with Haldir and Legolas.. but now.. things looked so different, and I didn't know why. Haldir saw the doubt in my eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked.  
  
"Haldir, I can't leave tonight.."  
  
"Are you crazy? What are you saying? They almost killed Legolas, they think I'm someone I'm not!!"  
  
"This is what I'm talking about! You're a human now, Haldir.. for some reason you changed, so you must find out which reason is it! If you leave now, you can spoil everything!" I was almost shouting, some people looked at me.  
  
"Spoil what? Zana, don't you understand that I don't belong here?" I stopped dancing and looked at him.  
  
"Look at yourself, Herr Ghering.. and tell me if you belong here or not." Haldir looked at me , sadly.  
  
"Gimli is gone.. now I'm destined to be here.. what else is waiting for us, Zana?" Before I could reply, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and heard Legolas voice.  
  
"Legolas!" He smiled, and stood there, just watching me. He was so different..his hair so short.. "legolas, what did you do? You're also a human?"  
  
"Zana, I can't explain how happy I am to see you.." he murmured, taking my hand. "I'm an elf and I'll always be"  
  
"At least you react in a normal way.. " I looked at both of them. "Well, it would be suspicious if I spent here too many time with you.. Romih is waiting for me" Legolas looked at Haldir.  
  
"Romih?"  
  
"Her husband" Said Haldir, with irony in his voice. "Not the real one, I suppose.. I guess he's helping her.."  
  
"I ended up in a park, with only the Trojan dress, and he offered me help.. we're living a war, there's no safe place.."  
  
"But.. Zana.. we must escape tonight.. in fifteen minutes, wait for us in the main door.." I shook my head, and Legolas looked at me worried. "What's wrong?" Haldir looked at us. I sighed.  
  
"I'm sorry, Legolas.. we can't leave. Haldir turned into a human here, this means he must stay. And I have to find out which is my mission here.. if I left now.. where would we go? You know that only when missions on each century are over, we move to another time.. we have to wait.."  
  
"Yes, you're right.." He murmured. I saw Romih coming, and I felt something in my stomach, something new. He smiled and took my hand. Legolas gave him a killing look , and disappeared.  
  
"Who was him" Romih asked Haldir, and Haldir shrugged.  
  
"Just a drunk friend.. Zana, it was a pleasure to dance with you.. I hope to see you some day.." Haldir left and I turned around to meet Romih's eyes. I smiled.  
  
"Are things going well?" I asked him, as we walked to a corner again.  
  
"Sure.." He replied kindly, looking at the distance. We were in silence for some moments. "Zana.. when you saw Ghering, you acted as if you were shocked.. did you know him?" I became pale, and shook my head.  
  
"No, I was just afraid that they would discover me.. us.." Romih took my hand.  
  
"Now you're famous among us, you're the pretty Romih's wife" He joked, and I felt a bit ashamed when I blushed. What was happening to me?  
  
"I'm glad that I helped you.." He suddenly became serious, and he came closer to me.  
  
"Don't talk as if this was the end.. there's still a long night to dance" He gave me his hand and led me to the dance floor. When he wrapped his arms around me, I forgot about all my worries. I felt his hands on my waist, and his face close to mine. "Zana.. thank you very much. It was a magical moment. But only until I saw Legolas sitting on a table and staring at me. My Legolas. 


	50. Wherever you will go

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana, Romih.. but any of the rest *************  
  
It's been a long time! I'm in the middle of exams, and it's a mess, because I can't update as fast as I wish.. anyway, I'll start leading this story to a certain point.. : ) No, it's not finishing yet, but many things must be cleared.. : )  
  
************* ************ **************** *************  
  
Here I stand  
  
And I can't even cry  
  
My heart is breakin up inside  
  
You say goodbye  
  
Found somebody new  
  
Wherever you go  
  
I'll be with you  
  
One more night  
  
One more night with you  
  
Hear me now I can't let you go  
  
One more night  
  
I'll open my heart to you  
  
Please hold me once again  
  
Cause I love you  
  
Before you leave  
  
Just take me in your arms  
  
And let me feel you once again  
  
Can't help myself  
  
I still depend on you  
  
Whatever you do  
  
I'll be with you  
- One more night -- Sandra  
  
Music sounding, people dancing.. I felt so confused.. my head was spinning, I had the chance to escape with Haldir and Legolas, and I had refused.. but escape.. where? When I thought of this, of saying goodbye to Romih, I felt a kind of pain again. He stared at me with his blue eyes.  
  
" Will you stay with me, Zana?" I was shocked. What had he asked me? To stay? We stopped dancing, but he was still holding me.  
  
"What do you mean?" I saw a smile on his face.  
  
"You know.." He whispered.  
  
"I can't believe this is happening.. you don't know me, Romih.."  
  
"But I want to know you.. I have a feeling, you can't leave now.. I have the feeling that amazing things are hidden inside you.." I couldn't stop looking at him, as if he had stolen all my strength.  
  
"But.. what if after knowing me don't like me any more?" His laugh was loud and some couples looked at us.  
  
"Well, at least we have to try, don't you think?" He looked so sure.  
  
"Romih.. you met me some hours ago, you can't be serious.." He led me to a corner again, where we sat in a sofa. "Maybe you're just afraid of being discovered.. this is why you want me to stay.." He looked confused.  
  
"You think I'm so selfish?"  
  
"I think that it's the fear you have of the SS the thing that makes you want me to stay.." I saw pain in his blue eyes. When he didn't reply, I felt so bad. That was so odd, why was I feeling like that?  
  
"How do you want me to prove you that things are not like this?" My heart started beating fast, and I replied without thinking.  
  
"Come with me"  
  
---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---- ---------------- -----------  
  
Gimli saw Galadriel entering the caravan, with a big smile on her face. The dwarf frowned, angrily.  
  
"What is so funny?" She sat with him, as she served a cup of tea.  
  
"That your destiny and mine were so similar.. can't you see what had just happened? " Gimli shook his head, confused. He drank from the cup. "Zana fixed the past.. wherever she is now.. she will solve it. "  
  
"I don't understand" murmured Gimli, confused. Galadriel looked through the window, smiling.  
  
"I know that Zana saved us, her past and all our future lives because of an obvious detail." She looked at Gimli mysteriously.  
  
"Which detail?"  
  
"We're in the future, on Earth.. but we still remember Middle Earth.. this is amazing, Gimli.. we survived, Middle Earth wasn't destroyed.. we're humans now.. and we remember all our reincarnations through time.."  
  
"So.. this means this will be our last reincarnation?" Gimli stared at her, scared.  
  
"Nobody knows, Gimli.. maybe it is for me, maybe it isn't.. we just have to wait.. both worlds were joined, our souls and history.. Earth is not aware of it, because Zana made this.. natural.. nobody in the future will notice the difference.."  
  
"Yes, but how did she did it?" Gimli became inpatient. "How? When?" Galadriel shrugged.  
  
"Wherever she is now.. she's starting to solve it.. some time will have to pass, yes.. but in the period of time where she is now.. she already solved someone's life.."  
  
"Another of us will stay there?" Gimli's eyes widened. "Who?" Galadriel looked at her pendant , hanging from her neck. Her blue eyes smiled sadly.  
  
"Someone from my home, Gimli. He will be ok" Gimli understood, and shook his head.  
  
"We will never forget Haldir" he felt Galadriel's hand on his.  
  
"Lets go back to work, my friend" They left the caravan, with a sad feeling in their hearts.  
  
------------------------ --------------------- -------------------- ----- ------------------  
  
I think I heard the explosion before seeing it.. the hall of the saloon shook as if there was an earthquake, lamps fell on the ground and people screamed. A bomb. Romih took my hand, and I felt Legolas taking the other one. When they met, they looked at each other confused.  
  
"It's OK, you both are my friends, so hurry up!" I shouted, as Romih gave Legolas a strange look. We three ran outside, where small planes flew over us, with an infernal noise, and the sirens sounded all along the streets. Romih led us to a narrow street, where we hid behind some garbage bags.  
  
"The enemy, they're attacking us.. Zana. Come home with me. Please.." Romih looked at me, begging.  
  
"She will stay with me, I know her since long time ago.." Legolas replied firmly, and Romih looked at me confused. His sad gaze made me feel so bad.  
  
"He's saying the truth, Romih.. he ended up here with me.." I took Romih's hand, but he was frozen, speechless. And all from the sudden, he sighed.  
  
"You surprise me every moment, Zana.. it's Ok, come one, lets go to my house, follow me" Legolas looked at me surprised, and then smiled. We walked some minutes, when we finally reached the quiet neighbourhood.. and my heart jumped. Haldir.. Haldir had stayed there. Legolas read my mind, because he took my hand and whispered his name.  
  
"He will be OK, don't worry.. now we must find the way of escaping form here.." The elf tried to calm me, but he only made me feel worse. Escape.. I didn't like the idea and that made me shocked. Why? I was with Legolas, we had to leave that century, that year, that time.  
  
We entered Romih's house, and sat in the living room while he closed the windows and put curtains down. I watched at both of them.. they were so different. Legolas' short hair seemed to start growing again, to my big surprise, and when he removed his hat I realised he had made a big mistake.  
  
"What the hell happened to your ears? " Shouted Romih, and Legolas covered himself again. "Zana, can you explain me everything, please? I think it's about time" Romih sat with me, and I looked at Legolas, who nodded slowly.  
  
"Zana, tell him everything. We won't loose anything, he won't believe us.. and we'll leave soon , so there's nothing to worry about" Legolas looked so self confident.. leave soon? What if we couldn't, and the SS found us? Romih touched my arm, and I looked at him.  
  
"You can trust me, whatever you will tell me.. you already saved my life.. I owe you it and I promise to try to help you" His blue eyes smiled sadly. I sighed.  
  
"OK, then.. lets start for the beginning.." I took a deep breath. "Romih, I was born in the 20th century.."  
  
"Yeah, me too.." His smile was ironic.  
  
"No.. but I was born in 1979.." His blue eyes opened in surprise.  
  
"Are you joking?" He looked at Legolas, who was nodding, and somehow I felt he believed me. "This is so.. I'm becoming crazy.. but please, go on.."  
  
"I travelled through time.. before the History began, before the Big Bang, another world existed.. his world" I pointed at Legolas, who had removed his hat again. If situation wasn't so serious, I would have laughed at Romih's expression. " Where I was told about a mission I had.. to mix both worlds.. and since then I've been travelling through time, together with him, and Haldir and Gimli.. trying to find out it.. "  
  
"Who else?" He asked, confused. I knew he would be shocked when I told him.  
  
"Ghering is one of them.. this is why I was so shocked.. I still don't now how did it happened.. but he belongs to this year.. this is his final journey"  
  
"What?.. Final journey?"  
  
"Reincarnations.. " I explained him everything more slowly.. he was nodding all time, still staring at me with big surprise. But then it was me the one who received the most surprising news.  
  
"A blonde woman told me once about this.. I was eleven years old.. she told me that I would have a very uncommon future, that I would meet a girl who would change everything.." I heard Legolas voice far away, as if I was in a world's appart.  
  
"Galadriel? She was here?" Romih opened his mouth.  
  
"How do you know about her?"  
  
"She belongs to my world" Legolas explained. "What else did she tell you?" Romih thought for a moment, then looked at me.  
  
"Well.. she said that this girl I would meet would bring me to a new world where I would find peace after the war.. I didn't believe her, she was just a fortune- teller I found in the street.. but.. I can't believe it, it's impossible.."  
  
"She does exist, Romih" I said, and he looked at me. "She exists, and we are real.. I've travelled from future, I'm looking for the end of my mission.. and I was destined to meet you"  
  
"Us. To meet us.." Pointed Legolas, with a cold gaze. We were in silence during a lot of time. I felt a lot better after confessing this to Romih,and he seemed to be accepting it so fast.  
  
"And.. what am I supposed to do?" He asked, in low voice. "How can I help you?"  
  
"Zana and I will leave, you've already helped us" Said Legolas, quickly. "We just have to find the gate to the next world"  
  
"I'll go with you" Romih said, with his strong voice.  
  
"You can't" Answered Legolas.  
  
"Of course I can. Galadriel told me she would save me and bring me to a place where I would find peace. "  
  
"This can have many meanings, you can't leave with us" Legolas stood up, nervously. "We lost one friend, he found his destiny somewhere, in another time. Now we will loose the second one, he will stay here with you. Zana and I have to find our future"  
  
"This doesn't mean you're destined to be together.." Said Romih, and I had to agree with him. At first I thought that I would live with Haldir forever.. now I was standing there, with the last friend of the group, the last one who had remained with me after many journeys. And the mission was going to go on.. I started to have doubts.. after all, Legolas was an elf.. what if I had found my human, my destiny?  
  
"Legolas.." I said, and he looked at me, worried. "What if in our next step, you have to leave me too?" His blue eyes opened in surprise.  
  
"I won't ever leave you" But he didn't sound convinced. He knew that life was unpredictable.. and that what happened to Haldir could happen to him too.  
  
"I'll go with you both" Romih repeated. Legolas looked angry.  
  
"Why? Why do you want to run this risk, if you almost don't know her?" Silence came, and I wondered what would Romih reply to this, to the same question I had asked him moments before. "Why, if you would have to leave all what you have here, your time, your family?"  
  
"Because maybe she's my family.. I'm destined to be with her.. I'm so sure about this that nobody will ever convince me about something different. She has a good heart, I can feel it.. and.." Romih looked at me, and I blushed. "And because she asked me to go with her" Silence came again and I felt Legolas staring eyes on me.  
  
------------------- ---------------------- ----------------------- ------ -------------  
  
Haldir ran as fast as he could, jumping over the fallen walls, escaping from that hell of fire and noise. He felt more tired than ever, something that reminded him about his new human condition. He crossed streets, without knowing where to go. Night was dark and he felt his eyes full of tears. What had happened to Legolas and Zana? He hadn't seen them, maybe they were dead. The thought scared him so much that he had to stop to take a deep breath, listening to the bombs in the distance. He didn't want to stay there.. he wondered why the destiny reserved this horrible end for him.. why, if he had been a hero in Middle Earth, he had helped people, he fought for Frodo, for finding the peace. A cold hand touched him. He heard the voice of a girl in the darkness.  
  
"You're one of them.." She spoke German, and she was crying. "I was born in Berlin, why are you destroying everything? Why are you killing people?" Haldir recognised this voice, but it couldn't be the person he thought she was.  
  
"Who are you? Why are you hiding?"  
  
"You're evil, all the SS are evil.. my family died because of you.. I don't have a place where to go.. I hate you.." she started to cry again, and Haldir felt sorry for her.  
  
"It's not my intention to kill or hurt anybody.." He whispered to her. But she beated his arm, with anger.  
  
"You belong to the SS! This is more than enough, you're a killer!!" Haldir became angry.  
  
"I don't want to belong to the SS!I don't want to belong to this horrible world!I've lost all what I had !I want to come back home! " He kneeled on the ground, silence came. The girl looked surprised, and she came out from the darkness. The man there looked really shocked. She touched his shoulder.  
  
"Why then, you're in the SS?" She asked, timidly.  
  
"I don't know.. I don't know, I didn't know this would happen, I swear I didn't.." He saw the shape of the girl, who reminded him of someone.. he wished there was stronger light there. He stood up, and the girl came closer.  
  
"What happened now? Where do you come from?" She asked, and he explained about the party and the sudden attack. And then, he recognised her.  
  
"I can't believe this is happening.." He murmured.. a plane flew over them, its light filled the narrow street. The girl in front of him was Zana.. exactly like her. Her reincarnation. He was destined to meet Zana's reincarnation in that world.  
  
"This is a war.. we have to accept it.." She was wearing spoiled clothes, her face was full of tears. She was German indeed, she spoke this language.. and she wasn't the real Zana.. but he felt as if she was.  
  
"So.. you don't have family? Anybody?" She shook her head sadly, and looked at him.  
  
"I feel as if I had met you before.. who are you?" She asked, suddenly happier and confused.  
  
"Here they call me by another name, but.. my real name is Haldir. " She frowned, and then laughed lightly.  
  
"No.. this can't be real.." Haldir looked at her surprised.  
  
"Why are you laughing?" Her smile comforted him.  
  
"I met a blonde fortune-teller when I was seven years old.. she told me that a man called Haldir would rescue me.. but I never understood her.."  
  
"You believe in those things?" Haldir asked, with irony in his voice.  
  
"Wait.. she was Gala.. Galadriel.. yes, this was her name.. are you OK?" She asked, when she saw his face.  
  
"Now I understand everything.." He murmured, and his face shone. "Who are you?"  
  
"Estella" They looked at each other.  
  
"This is a very nice name.. Estella.. do you want to come with me?" She smiled, and nodded slowly. Galdriel predicted his destiny. When he took Estella's hand, they saw sparkles in the darkness. That was the sign. He had found home. 


	51. Just believe in Destiny

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana ********** ************  
  
New things are coming! : ) Maybe you think the end is near.. well, obviously I won't write 100 more chapters, but I promise you there's still some story waiting for you : ) Now that things are advancing so much.. I hope to make you all nervous! : ) Thanks for reviewing!  
  
**************** *************** *************** **********  
  
Don't be afraid to be weak  
  
Don't be too proud to be strong  
  
Just look into your heart my friend  
  
That will be the return to yourself  
  
The return to innocence  
  
If you want, then start to laugh  
  
If you must, then start to cry  
  
Be yourself don't hide  
  
Just believe in destiny  
  
Don't care what people say  
  
Just follow your own way  
  
Don't give up and use the chance  
  
To return to innocence  
  
That's not the beginning of the end  
  
That's the return to yourself  
  
-The return to innocence - Enigma  
  
"We must sleep" Said Romih, standing up. "My mother and sister will return in no time.. and I don't want them to start asking questions about you, Legolas"  
  
"How will we find the gate?" I asked, unable to go to sleep. They both looked at me. Legolas looked through the window, opening the curtains.  
  
"We always managed to find it, right? When the moment will come.. we'll know it" He said, smiling.  
  
"The last time we all got lost.. I don't want to be alone in our next step.." I realised how scared I was, deep inside me. Nobody knew what was expecting us. Romih walked towards me.  
  
"I still don't understand the whole thing but.. I'm sure Legolas is right. Well find out about it"  
  
"The Land of Eternal Ice.." I said, suddenly. "How will we find it? What is it exactly?" I was becoming crazy, trying to think, to find a clue. We never wondered where it was.. maybe it was near from there.. maybe we would spend years looking for it.. while all our lives and future were undecided. I felt cold.  
  
"Zana.. don't worry about anything.. just trust Destiny, as you've been doing before.." Legolas came by my side, his hear obviously longer. I was amazed with that phenomenon.. Romih coughed, interrupting us.  
  
"Well, lets go to bed. Legolas, you can sleep in the guests room, nobody uses it" We followed Romih upstairs, in silence. I checked the time in the big clock in the corridor. Midnight. The twelve bells filled the air, and I had the feeling that we weren't alone there. Once in my room, I undressed and put the pyjamas. It was cold, and I covered myself with the blankets. As soon as I closed my eyes, a knock on the main door came to my ears. My heart was beating so fast that I almost couldn't breath. I heard Romih's steps in the hall, and then his voice speaking in German. Legolas opened the door of my room, and I looked at him scared.  
  
"Do you think they discovered us?" I whispered, as he walked towards me. His blue eyes looked cold.  
  
"I don't know.. it's so late, I wonder who is it.." I felt his hand on mine. "Don't fear anything.. I won't leave you here" He tried to smile, but I saw the fear in his face. And then, steps approaching. Romih was half shouting, and I heard like hundred of voices in reply. When the door opened, all I wanted was to die, to disappear. Romih's nose was bleeding, and I saw panic in his eyes. A group of SS soldiers came in and took Legolas by his arm. Then they came for me. I was so scared that I almost couldn't move. I followed the soldier who was holding my arm rudely, and all I saw was Romih following another boy, and Legolas trying to fight against three of them, unsuccessfully.  
  
"Zana!" Romih screamed, looking at me. "We'll meet soon, don't be scared!!"  
  
"What do you mean?" I shouted, as I saw both of them entering a black van, while they forced me to get into another one. They separated us. I froze. I knew what was going to happen. Tears were falling from my eyes, wondering who had betrayed us. My heart almost stopped beating when I saw Romih's sister standing in front of the cars, with an evil smile on her face. Lena.. but why? I saw Romih staring at her through the window of the other car, a disbelief look in his blue eyes. Also tears. "Romih!" I shouted, but he couldn't hear me. Legolas was sitting next to him, his eyes closed, as if he was unconscious.. "no, no." I murmured , crying, rounded by three soldiers who spoke German, The van left, and I felt as if I had already died. The SS caught us and I knew they would drive me to one of their camps. I needed a miracle to survive.  
  
----------------- ------------------- ---------------- ------------------ ---------- ---------  
  
"Legolas!Legolas!" Romih shook his arm, trying to wake him up. Legolas eyes opened slowly, and looked around.  
  
"What happened? Where is Zana?" He felt the van moving, the soldiers sitting with us wore guns. Romih frowned.  
  
"My sister Lena betrayed us.. she called the SS to tell that I was hiding you.. I wonder why did she do this.." He had his eyes full of tears. " My own sister.. why?" He looked at a soldier and spoke in German. "I'm an soldier of the SS, you can't treat me like this. At least tell us where are you driving the girl and where are you driving us" A blonde boy with icy eyes stared at him.  
  
"You made something illegal, Romih.. the law says you must go to the camp. "  
  
"But Zana didn't do anything! " He shouted, and Legolas wished he had his bow there to put an axe in the soldier's head.  
  
"She's married to you, right?.. she knew about this but she didn't tell anything.. she's as guilty as you are"  
  
"No!" Romih shouted, with the horrible feeling of guiltiness. He had put Zana into trouble. And which was worse.. she would die because of him.  
  
"Don't worry, Romih.. I have a good feeling" Said Legolas, in soft voice. Romih looked at him as if he was crazy.  
  
"What do you mean?" He looked like a small child .  
  
"You see.. usually when we get into trouble is when we travel through time.." A mysterious smile came to his face.  
  
"I don't understand you.." Before Romih could finish the phrase, they heard the soldiers shouting. The van where Zana was travelling was having trouble. There was snow on the road, and a big cliff on its side. "Oh, my god.. they will have an accident, she will die!!" Legolas looked at him, and suddenly had the same fear. The dark green van was sliding dangerously on the road, night was so dark, without moon, stars or any kind of light. Memories came to his head. The first time he saw Zana in the forest, the dance in Mirkwood, their mutual confessions.. everything.  
  
"No, I won't leave her alone." He murmured, and Romih looked impatiently at him.  
  
"Yeah, and how do you plan to avoid it?" When their gazes met he understood. "What? Are you crazy?"  
  
"If we also die, at least we'll go together to the same place.. it's our only choice, can't you see it?"  
  
"I guess it's all what we can do.." When they saw Zana's van fall in the cliff, Romih jumped and beated on the driver, who saw, scared, how his van also followed the first one. And then, a strong noise filled the air, like an explosion. Everything became dark.  
  
----------- ----------------------- -------------------- ----------------- ---- ------------ --  
  
I felt as if I was flying. When I gave that beat to the driver I knew the risk I was running.. but I was sure about one thing: I preferred to die instead of going to a camp. The soldier looked at me, amazed, shouting. Now, when we were falling, all I could do was close my eyes.. the van was running so fast towards a deep river, where I was sure it would collide with the heavy rocks on the sides. And the door opened.. silence came, a very strange silence.. the shouts, the engine, the wind.. all disappeared, I only saw a silent way.. I decided to jump. Holding my hands on both doors and without thinking, I threw myself. Snow stopped me painfully, and after some seconds, I returned to reality. Two vans exploded in the distance.. also Legolas and Romih's one.. I sat down, scared.. no, that couldn't be possible.. I couldn't loose both of them.. tears filled my eyes again as I stood up, looking around myself. The cold wind made me freeze. "No, no.." I murmured, covering my face with my hands.  
  
"Are you feeling all right? " An ironic voice rose in the darkness. When I saw Romih, I jumped, hugging him strongly. I felt his arms around me as well. "You're a clever girl, you know it? We knew you would do this.. this is why we followed you.." He said we? The answer was in front of my eyes. Legolas was standing there, with a smile.  
  
"Legolas!" And to my surprise, I wasn't able to run and hug him. But he didn't seem to care, because he took a deep breath and looked around. I separated from Romih, ashamed. He was smiling kindly.  
  
"So.. where are we?" Legolas asked, walking towards us. For a moment I saw a kind of sadness on his eyes, but soon it was gone. I looked around too. It was dark.. and terribly cold. Never before in my life I had felt so cold. Legolas looked at us. "You both will die if you don't get warmer clothes.."  
  
"And what about you?" Said Romih, confused.  
  
"Elves are not sensitive to cold"  
  
"Elves?" He looked at me, surprised. " What do you mean with this? That you're not human?" He laughed, sarcastically. Legolas looked upset.  
  
"Why are you laughing?" He showed him his hands.. completely white and warm. Mines were violet, half frozen. Romih looked shocked.  
  
"OK, this is enough.. I've lived too many strange events today.. you're right, we have to look for a shelter as soon as possible.. what the hell is this?" He shouted, looking around. Moon shone in the sky above us, and we saw it. Ice. Mountains of ice, ground of ice.. the sea rounding it. We were in one of the Poles, or North or South. I felt the first symptoms of freezing, feeling both dizzy and painful. After all, we just were covered with a coat. Romih looked at me, scared. "Is this place what I think it is?" I nodded, slowly, and he observed me. "We've travelled through time?"  
  
"Probably." I muttered, shaking. I looked at Legolas, asking for help. I was really cold. The elf was ignoring us, his sight fixed on a point.  
  
"There's a kind of house.. there.." He pointed to a near place. A kind of shelter with some flags from different countries.  
  
"It's a scientific base.. come on!" I shouted, and they followed me. When we were approaching the place, my heart started beating so fast. It was European. "My time! We're on my time!" But when we were closed, I realised it looked old. And empty. How was that possible? What I thought it was a bunch of flags was just one broken Norwegian flag.  
  
"There's someone inside" Legolas murmured. The persons inside seemed to see us too, because they went outside with a shocked look in their eyes, as if they were watching an UFO. There were five men, covered with many clothes. Some minutes passed, nobody reacted. My memory started working.. five men.. in the South Pole, probably.. I couldn't believe that. Neither did Romih, who seemed to be thinking the same I was thinking.  
  
"I know them, Romih.. he's Amundsen, Roald Amundsen!!" Romih nodded, and we heard a voice from the group, speaking English with strange accent.  
  
"Who the hell are you and how did you arrive here? We are the first five people in the world who came here!" The man in the middle shouted, half angry, half shocked, as if he couldn't believe his eyes. Then all from the sudden, walked towards us. "My god, you will freeze! Come in, you have to drink something hot and put clothes on! I don't know what's going on here, but you better explain us before we'll think we're having hallucinations.. " We followed them inside, and they gave curious gazes to Legolas, who looked as if nothing happened to him.  
  
For the following two hours I told them exactly what happened since the day I had arrived on Middle Earth. They listened to me in silence, we all around a warm fire. Romih and I had thousands of questions to ask, but they were so shocked that we decided to postpone them to the end. Roald Amundsen himself was sitting there, in front of me.. he looked old, his skin spoiled with cold, but he couldn't be more than forty years old.  
  
"If you hadn't shown up here.." He commented, looking at all of us "I would have never believed such a story.. this changes all my concept of world and life.. don't you realise what does this mean for our modern times?"  
  
"Modern?" I asked, with an ironical smile.  
  
"We're on 15th December, 1911" Amundsen replied. "The first day man arrived in the South Pole" There was pride in his voice. "And what do I find here? A group of young people with an amazing story.. nobody will believe us when will go back home, mates.." His four friends laughed, but they looked more relaxed.  
  
"If man was able to reach South Pole, then any story can be possible, don't you think? " I asked, wondering how would they feel if I told them that fifty-eight years after, Armstrong would put his feet on the Moon. But I couldn't talk about future events.  
  
"I suppose you're right.." He replied, slowly. "So you say that the end of your mission is in the Land of Eternal Ice.." I nodded. "Well, obviously it was a metaphor for this one.. congratulations.. we both reached our missions on the same day" He smiled kindly, and I smiled back, feeling strange. So there I would find the end of everything, and the beginning of a future.. For the first time in those two hours, Legolas spoke.  
  
"I don't belong to this world, so I can't see the importance of your journey, but I would like to say that I feel as if the world had changed.." The five men looked at him with curiosity.  
  
"So.. you belong to this other world.. the one that existed before Earth.." Asked one of them, and Legolas nodded. "You're not sensitive to cold, you're immortal.. " Legolas went on nodding. "This is amazing.. we made a great discovery indeed." Silence came. We all were accepting the magnitude of the new events, assuming them. Romih was so absent minded that, for a moment, I thought he was dead, laying on the ground with his eyes opened. Legolas, looking into the fire. And about me.. I felt different and so small.. I felt part of a big universe that was playing with me. How could such a normal person like me be living all those amazing situations? When I remembered about Haldir, sadness invaded me. He had found his destiny in the Germany of Second World War, and I wished, with all my heart, that he was feeling OK. And, at the same time, when I saw Legolas there with me.. I felt a huge happiness. But I was destined to be confused.. the same I felt when Romih looked back at me.  
  
"What will you do now?" Romih asked, sitting on the ground. "Do you know what kind of mission is it?" I looked at Legolas, who looked back too.  
  
"Galadriel told me some words.." I was interrupted by Amundsen.  
  
"Wait, wait.. Galadriel?" He asked, shocked.  
  
"Yes.. what's wrong?" The five men looked at each others.  
  
"Galadriel is my neighbour, she's a kind of fortune-teller, we all think she's completely crazy.. before coming here, she told me that I would find people in the South Pole, people who would need my help. We all laughed at her.." He looked shocked.  
  
"She's blonde, with blue eyes, and with a charming voice?" Legolas asked, and they all nodded. "And she always wears a hat?"  
  
"How can you know this??" Amundsen shouted. Legolas smiled.  
  
"Because of her ears.." He removed his hat , showing his pointy elvish ears. "She's one of my kind" Suddenly, I felt shocked.  
  
"Wait! Do you know what does this mean? That Galadriel had lived many lives after Middle Earth?" Legolas understood at once, his blue eyes widened in surprise. Then , a big smile came to his face.  
  
"The mission.. this means you solved the mission!" He shouted, sitting next to me, giving me a big hug.  
  
"I know, but.." He got separated from me. "But I still didn't do it.. I mean, obviously I'll manage to finish, but.. when?"  
  
"Oh, come on, Zana, you should be happy!!" Legolas took my hand. "All this time we've been wondering how would this finish, and now you have the answer here! People from Middle Earth survived! You joined both worlds!!" I knew he was right, but I was still confused. When I looked at Romih, he was smiling kindly at me.  
  
"Zana.." He said, looking into the fire. "Now my life is in yours.. like Legolas one.. we're with you in the end.. so maybe this means when you'll come back to your world, to reality.. we'll be with you.." He whispered, and I wished his words were true.  
  
"No,Romih.. world is too big.. I'm sure you're here just to help me with the final step, but.. we still don't know what will happen.." I felt a horrible sadness.  
  
"People.. it's about time to rest. " Amundsen announced. "We made this shelter where you can find all what you need.. the toilet, if it can be called like this, is right behind this cloth. You will sleep here with is. We'll warm each others"  
  
"We would have died here if we didn't find you.." I murmured, and he smiled.  
  
"If it wasn't for you and your story.. I would have sent my neighbour Galadriel to a mental institution" I heard the soft laughs when he turned the oil lamp off. Legolas returned to his sleeping bag, and I laid down, looking at Romih. I saw his blue eyes shinning in the darkness. After some minutes, when we heard the deep breathing of our friends, he whispered something to me.  
  
"He's an elf.. his destiny will be different from yours. " I was confused with those words.  
  
"What do you mean?" I felt his arm wrapping me.  
  
"I was destined to be with you, Zana. I'll go with you to the future" His words comforted me, and for a moment, I felt happy, seeing him so sure about himself.  
  
"Don't say anything before things happen, human" We heard Legolas voice with an ironical tone surprising us.  
  
"You scared me, I thought you were sleeping.." Said Romih, angrily. I couldn't help smiling. 


	52. The end and the beginning

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana****************  
  
WARNING:THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER, SO DON'T STOP READING!!! : ) I plan to go on with some new chapters, things are not fixed yet! : ) I love this song I've put here, I think it's perfect for this chapter , and I hope you all will like it!  
  
**************** *************** ******************  
  
Lay down  
  
Your sweet and weary head  
  
The night is falling  
  
You have come to journey's end  
  
Sleep now  
  
And dream of the ones who came before  
  
They are calling  
  
From across the distant shore  
  
Why do you weep?  
  
What are these tears upon your face?  
  
Soon you will see  
  
All of your fears will pass away  
  
Safe in my arms  
  
You're only sleeping  
  
What can you see  
  
On the horizon?  
  
Why do the white gulls call?  
  
Across the sea  
  
A pale moon rises  
  
The ships have come to carry you home  
  
And all will turn  
  
To silver glass  
  
A light on the water  
  
All Souls pass  
  
Hope fades  
  
Into the world of night  
  
Through shadows falling  
  
Out of memory and time  
  
Don't say  
  
We have come now to the end  
  
White shores are calling  
  
You and I will meet again  
  
And you'll be here in my arms  
  
Just sleeping  
  
- Into the west - Annie Lennox  
  
When I opened my eyes I noticed it was early in the morning. It was difficult, in the Antarctica, to distinguish between day and night.. a soft permanent light remained in the horizon, making the huge icebergs shine over the grey ocean. This was what I saw when I walked outside, breathing the frozen air. To my big surprise, I was bearing cold perfectly, covered with the warm blankets. But I also suspected that I was having some help, although I didn't know from whom did it come. It was impossible that two humans like Romih and I had survived more than ten minutes without any kind of protection in that icy desert.  
  
I was finally there.. and I still couldn't believe it. I felt as if the journey had ended but, at the same time, as if it had just began. I liked the feeling, but it also scared me.. what kind of second journey was I about to begin? Probably the journey back home. I remembered Gandalf's words. Things would be changed when I arrived there. People I knew, places where I lived.. maybe I would find a new whole world, and I couldn't help fearing that.  
  
I walked towards the border of the ice ground, where the deep ocean moved slowly. I had always dreamed about that.. about being there, in the South Pole.. I had dreamed about many things that had come true. Amazingly, my actions had changed parts of the past.. just a simple person among millions, someone like me. That made me think.. any person can change everything, you just have to try. This was the lesson I had learned after the whole mission. Never give up, you can change things. I hoped to be so optimistic once I went back to my time.  
  
"You're an early person" I turned around and met Legolas, who was smiling.  
  
"I'm a bit nervous, I suppose.. I have a feeling.." I replied, looking in the distance. Legolas walked towards me, and waited by my side.  
  
"Mission worries you?" I nodded, and then walked some metres. Maybe I was becoming crazy, but I was sure that I had seen a green light in the ice. "What's wrong, Zana?" I felt his hand on my shoulder.  
  
"Nothing.." I lied. His blue eyes were shining in a strange way.. maybe it was because of the ice, its white light. We stared at each other for a moment, when we heard the rest of the group waking up.  
  
"Good morning!" Romih shouted at us, followed by Amundsen. They both left the shelter, their eyes half closed. A soft cold wind moved their coats.  
  
"Breakfast will be done in no time" Sang Admunsen happily. I smiled. After all, that man would become so famous all around the world, he obviously wanted to celebrate that. After some minutes of silence, Romih offered me a cup of hot tea. I accepted it at once.  
  
"How are you feeling, Zana?" He asked, once we were a bit apart from the group.  
  
"I don't know.. everything is so.. confusing, so.." I shrugged, unable to find the proper words. I looked at him. "And what about you? This experience must be a shock.." He put a face as a reply, a childish face.  
  
"If I'm sincere to you.. this is the most exciting thing I've ever experienced.. after this event, my life won't be the same.. nobody will believe me.." He drank a bit of tea, and something came to my head all from the sudden.  
  
"Are you aware of something?" He looked at me with curiosity.  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"Maybe you shouldn't care about people who won't believe you.. because probably you won't return to your time.." I didn't notice any change on his face, he just nodded.  
  
"I know.. and I came anyway, right? I want to know what Destiny prepared for me.. and I'm so happy to be here.. far away from the corrupt people who were rounding me lately.."  
  
"I'm sorry about your sister." I murmured, but he smiled.  
  
"Lets forget about it" He whispered. When I looked at the shelter, I saw Legolas sitting on a bag, his blue eyes fixed on us. His hair was long again, and I couldn't explain that amazing phenomenon. All the things we had lived together came to my head. He was the one and only person who had been with me.. who Destiny kept there for me.. and, at the same time, Romih was also there.. he was a human, one of my kind.. we would get old together, we were more compatible at this matter. But something inside me told me that this story was far from ending.  
  
"Zana?" Romih was looking at me. I realised I had been so absent minded that I didn't hear his last words. Before I could reply, Legolas walked towards us.  
  
"This makes me nervous.. I hate waiting.. I'm not a person to wait.. I want something to happen!" He was looking around, with an inpatient gaze.  
  
"We can't hurry things.. " I said, but becoming worried. We didn't know how many time we would have to be there. Amundsen and his group were getting ready to go on with their journey. In few time.  
  
"Zana, can you please wash this cup in the sea? " A man asked me, passing me the small jar. Legolas and Romih sat in front of a small fire while I walked towards the edge. But it was too sharp there. Afraid of falling into the water, I stood up.  
  
"I'll walk some metres, I need a safer zone!" I shouted, and the man nodded. Choosing a new direction, I saw the group more and more far away. Some metres. I had walked just twenty or thirty metres when it happened. Something opened under my feet, and I fell, sliding in an icy tunnel, longer and longer. I closed my eyes and remained still, afraid of moving an arm and break it against the walls. What if that was the end? What if I died there? All my hopes, all my fears were gone, as the speed increased. Then, I fell inside a cave. The most amazing view I had ever seen before. Walls of ice, blue shiny ice. And a lake, as blue as the sky, as if it had millions of lamps inside. Where did that light come from? It wasn't artificial but it looked like if it was.. I was inside the ice, the land of ice, and light came from the ground, filling the stance in blue. The ground was flat, as marble. I looked into the water, and I didn't see myself there. Confusing images appeared, and I kneeled on the ground, touching the surface of the lake with my hand. After all what I had lived, I couldn't be scared any more. I was alone, that was the final step of my mission.. who cared about fear? As soon as I touched the water, light became stronger, and the liquid started to spin. I heard the voice, a known voice for me.  
  
"I never thought you would arrive here.. you've settled past, you fixed lives." No doubt about it, she was Galadriel, but I couldn't see her.  
  
"Where are you?" I asked, looking around.  
  
"I'm not here, I'm not anywhere.. "  
  
"I don't understand you.. is this the end? What do I have to do now?" For a while, she didn't reply. "Galadriel? Are you here?"  
  
"I'm not Galadriel, I'm just a voice, the voice you wanted to hear. But I don't have a name, a face or an origin.. I come from the deepness of the Land of the Eternal Ice" I was more and more confused. The voice wasn't Galadriel, but it sounded like her because I gave it this tone..  
  
"Then, what do I have to do now?" I repeated, trying to finish as soon as possible.  
  
"This is the last step, Zana. You've been chosen because we realised that many mistakes had been made in the past, that changed your life and many other's lives. You belong to a group, the group of the Lost People.. all of you got lost somewhere in the History.. and you were the point of connection.. solving your past would mean solving their pasts too.. and you managed to do it"  
  
"What happened to Haldir and Gimli?" I asked, nerves killing my stomach.  
  
"They found home, like you will find"  
  
"How?" I almost shouted, and the water moved again, as the blue light shone stronger.  
  
"The last step is not easy.. the decision you will take will change absolutely everything.. you can choose between two options.. do it alone.. or bring one person here.."  
  
"Do what? Who should I bring here?" I felt lost, as if this decision could spoil everything.  
  
"You're a human, this is a human decision. Follow your heart, decide for the rest of habitants in the Earth... say his name"  
  
"Which name?" I was about to cry , desperated.  
  
"The name of the one who will join you in this decision. Your heart must choose it"  
  
"My heart?" I stared at the ground, thinking. The voice said it was a human decision. Why? Was that a clue? Was that something that an elf could never decide? I stood up, taking a deep breath. "I'm ready" I waited for an answer.  
  
"Your heart was chosen" I felt the ground moving under my feet, and a distant shout. In few seconds, Romih showed up. He looked confused, and when he saw me, he came running.  
  
"Zana! What the hell is this? Are you all right?" I nodded, as he took my hand. "Is this the end? Is this?" He was breathless.  
  
"I chose you, Romih.. the voice from the water told me that you would help me to decide" He looked at me, confused.  
  
"Decide about what?" We waited, in silence. My heart was beating so fast.  
  
"How did you come here? How is Legolas?" I asked, worried.  
  
"I heard you calling me.. I walked here, and then, I fell.."  
  
"Call you? I didn't call you.." He stared at me, surprised. I looked around. The blue ice looked different, a kind of corridor had been opened. "There." I murmured, and Romih looked in the distance.  
  
"We have to walk.." He murmured, and I nodded. I was sweating, despite of cold.. too nervous to feel any other kind of sensation. The sound of our steps increased above the walls. After walking some metres, I stopped, and looked back at Romih. His blue eyes shining in the light.  
  
"I can't believe that, after all the events I've lived, you're the last person I'll see before.. ending." He smiled.  
  
"This is not the end, Zana.. this is just the beginning"  
  
"What if I won't ever see any of you again?" I felt my eyes full of tears. But all from the sudden, I remembered the words of Galadriel. We meet, during our lives, the same people we've been meeting along our reincarnations..  
  
"So we'll meet again" He whispered. I looked at him, shocked.  
  
"How did you know what I was thinking about?" He just smiled, mysteriously. We went on walking, the corridor turned darker, and soon new fears were coming to me. We were lost, alone, about to change everything, all laws of universe. And there it was.. a big icy hall, where the corridor ended. A locked room. "This is the end, but.. I don't understand anything.." I left his hand and walked around, looking at the ceiling.  
  
"There's no exit.. " He murmured, and I felt panic. That small cabin could be our grave.  
  
"Romih, this can't be happening.. I wish this would have never happened.. I wish I had never travelled to Middle Earth.. I don't care if my life wasn't the life I was supposed to live.. I'm too afraid of what future has prepared for me.." I was shaking so much, and he came by my side, with a kind expression on his face.  
  
"Zana.. come on.. after all what you did.. how can you regret now? I'm here with you.. and I'm not scared at all! " He hugged me, and I closed my eyes. I wanted to see Legolas, I wished with all my heart that he was there. Just when I felt Romih's face coming closer, just when he kissed me. It was then when I saw it.. behind the ice in the walls. "What's wrong?" Asked Romih, in soft voice. But I was too shocked to reply. I touched the ice, that looked like crystal. There, behind the wall, a couple was staring at us. A frozen couple. Romih jumped, surprised.  
  
"My god.." He murmured, while we checked them. A woman, with long dark curly hair, young. And a man, also with long hair, but he was blonde. Their eyes were opened, their mouths closed in a smile. Their hands together.  
  
"They're a couple of humans.. but.. when did they come here?" I looked at them. "And why are they naked?"  
  
"What does this have to do with the mission? A couple of dead people who probably came here once, fell in the ice and died?" I almost couldn't hear his voice, so shocked I was. "Zana, this is weird.. they're' naked, it's like if they put themselves in this position.."  
  
"On purpose.." I finished the phrase for him. I was horrified. Who would have done this? And.. why? Who would have reached South Pole before Amundsen did?  
  
"Zana.. they're' smiling.. they're frozen, but they look perfectly OK.."  
  
"I know.. " I looked at the man's eyes.. they were so strange, as if they kept a huge secret .. the woman looked calmed, with a big peace.. and then I felt more shocked than ever before in my whole life.. my world fell down.. my knees bent and Romih had to hold me.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked, but I wasn't able to speak. What I had just seen was so shocking that it would change all rules of evolution and nature. I wondered why it had to be me the one who would carry that secret.. it was too much for me, too heavy to live with it.. now I understood why the voice had said that I would need to share it.. a human decision.. only another human would be able to understand it.. not an elf.. because an elf didn't know that..  
  
"No, I don't want to see this.. I can't.." I murmured, feeling the tears falling through my face.  
  
"What is it?" Romih asked, so worried, touching my face. I just pointed with my finger, and I saw his eyes freezing. He covered his open mouth with his hand, shaking.  
  
"Now you understand.." He nodded, unable to move or speak. "They don't have belly button.. they're Adan and Eva. We have in our hands the power to change all laws of nature, telling this to the world. The question is.. must we tell it?"  
  
"Zana.. your mission implies such a big responsibility and I'm really sorry that you have to carry with it.." He finally looked at me. I tried to smile, but tears were still falling.  
  
"And what if I tell it? What if I decide to spread it? Do you know what would this mean? I even can't understand what would this mean.. I only know that this would change absolutely everything.. world would be a different place.. and I can't know if it would be better or worse.. it's not in my hands to decide this, I can't do it!"  
  
"You were chosen for this, which means that you can.." He was absolutely calmed by then, and I realised that if he wasn't there, I would have lost all my strength.  
  
"Legolas would never understand the meaning of this.. this is why my heart chose you.." Romih nodded.  
  
"This is why you're destined to be with me.." He murmured. I looked back at the frozen couple, and took a deep breath.  
  
"My heart knows what to do.. more than ever before.. " I checked the icy wall , looking for a clue. And I found it. A hole with an inscription on the ice. I read it in loud voice. "For the one who will find us.. if you decide to free us again, here there's a map buried in the ice, it will tell you the way back and what to do with our bodies.. science will be revolutionised and you all, human beings, will have to carry with consequences.. because we will show up in the beginning, when both worlds joined: Middle Earth and Earth, and your culture, religion, knowledge, will be radically changed. But.. if you decide to leave things like they are.. we're afraid to tell you that it won't be so simple.. we'll remain in your memory forever.. and this is a too big charge for a human's mind. You can't leave this room without suffering the effects.. once you'll cross the arc, the walls will fall and destroy our cabin , destroy us and.. destroy you. Good luck, Zana"  
  
"Somebody wrote this, Zana.. they are talking about future things.. this is a trick, this can't be real.." Romih, murmured, angrily. But I was thinking deeply.  
  
"I chose, Romih. I chose" When I looked at him, he knew what my answer meant. He sighed, and took my hand. "I must destroy them before someone else will find them. I can't change the whole History, it's not in my hands.. And as I can't carry this inside my head."  
  
"We both must die.." He whispered. After some minutes, after taking the decision.. I didn't see the sense of my mission.. it was useless.. it was stupid.. everything for nothing.. nothing would change.. I would die, and nobody would notice.. indeed, I would change the world, because I wouldn't exist.. so that was it? I couldn't exist in this world? I was a kind of mistake? But I couldn't condemn Romih with me, so.. what was the point of that? I couldn't find another solution. When everything seemed to be lost, when we both were about to kill ourselves to destroy that discovery, it was then, when hope was completely lost, when I heard him.  
  
"Zana! Zana!" Legolas was there. I couldn't believe my eyes. He had found the way. Romih looked at him, shocked. And suddenly, my world changed again. "Zana, don't do it.. don't make this happen.. you can't die! This wasn't the goal of such an important mission! I don't want to believe that all what we made was for nothing.." He came close to me, taking my hands.  
  
"But I already fixed Haldir's life.. also Gimli's one.. and Fern, he died, remember?" I was crying again.  
  
"But Zana.. I'm still here, can't you see it? What about my life?" He was right about that, but anyway, I didn't know how to solve that. What was the mission after all?  
  
"Lets find the exit, please.." Romih said, pushing us towards the corridor. When I saw his eyes, the expression on them, I froze. We walked, and he walked behind, but suddenly everything happened too fast to react. Romih pushed us so strongly that Legolas and I fell on the ground, crossing the arc, and a the wall closed, leaving Romih locked inside. Legolas jumped, trying to open it, but he wasn't able.  
  
"No, Romih!!" I shouted, and I heard his voice in the distance.  
  
"Zana, once you saved my life.. I told you that I owe you this one.." Legolas stared at me when we heard a deep noise. The walls were falling.  
  
"Run!" He shouted, taking my hand, and I followed him tears blurring my sight. Romih had destroyed Adan and Eva.. and he had died for me. The mission was over, and suddenly Legolas hand left mine. I was falling again. ---------------- ------------------------ ------------------------ ------ ---------------  
  
Legolas felt as if he was falling forever.. darkness had come, he had lost Zana's contact.. and it was warm there. Looking around, he saw a prairie. Sun was shinning high in the sky, and a soft breeze moved the grass. It was the place where he had found Zana. But now he was alone. Or this he thought. Far in the distance, a group of people were coming, and he could recognise them at once.  
  
Haldir, Gimli, Galadriel, Gandalf, Aragorn, Arwen, Eowyn, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Faramir, Boromir and Eomer, besides a bunch of unknown elves. He couldn't believe his eyes.. but Frodo had left to the Grey Havens, with Gandalf, that couldn't be possible.. and Boromir.. he was dead!  
  
"Legolas, my friend.." Gandalf approached him, with a kind smile.  
  
"I must be dreaming.." He whispered, confused.  
  
"Somehow is right.. we're not real.. you're seeing us because you want to see us.. but we're not those people in reality" Aragorn commented, with his deep voice. Legolas looked at al of them.  
  
"Who are you then?" The group smiled.  
  
"We're the ones who decide things, the ones who lead your lives.. the ones you will meet one day.. but not yet, Legolas. "Arwen spoke.. or whoever she was.  
  
"Missions is over.. Zana took a decision and now the consequences will come" Gimli was speaking, but Legolas noticed his eyes weren't like the dwarf's ones.. he wondered who were those people.  
  
"What about Zana? Where is she? Did she take the correct decision?" Legolas asked, breathless.  
  
"The correct decision?.." Boromir thought for a while. "Was it correct? Is difficult to tell.. both solutions would cause many changes.. she fixed the past of many of you.. more than you can imagine.. she made Romih died before he was born, and she brought you to the end.. you crossed a whole History.."  
  
"You're not replying my questions, you're avoiding them" Legolas got angry, but Galadriel smiled softly.  
  
"Be patient, my friend.. no one was harmed.. Romih found his place, in the time he belonged to.. he wasn't destined to be born in Germany, not in that time.. now he found home.. Zana went back home too, to her real time.. many things changed, yes.. and she will find out them.. but nothing bad will happen to any of them, Legolas.. she just fixed History.. she will have to adapt to new circumstances.. just this." Silence came while Legolas thought for a while.  
  
"What about me? Why are you talking to me, and not to her? I'm not the one who had to carry with the mission.. why did you bring me here?" The elf stared at them, and it was Frodo the one who gave him the answer.  
  
"Among all elves, among all people in the world, there's nobody else as noble and loyal as you are.. you're special, almost unreal.. you have this privilege.. to know the real truth, what happens after death, after reincarnations.. and what happens when you helped this girl along the days. "  
  
"Then explain me.." Legolas asked.  
  
"You know it.." Replied Faramir, with a mysterious smile.  
  
"Now, Legolas.." Gandalf gave some steps towards him. "You must return home.."  
  
"Home? And where am I supposed to live now? Will you leave me alone in any century? Living with the thought of what I've lost? Far away from Middle Earth, and condemned to not to see people I love again? This is the prize for being like I am?" He was furious.  
  
"Don't get made before knowing what will happen" Replied Aragorn, patiently.  
  
"I can't live with those memories inside my head!" Legolas shouted.  
  
"We know" They all replied.  
  
"This is why you will choose, Legolas.. starting from zero, with the only memories of anew life.. or remembering everything until your death" Merry explained.  
  
"Death? Will I be human?" Legolas was shocked. The group nodded. "Why?"  
  
"Is not a punishment.. you will understand better some day.. the punishment would be to have an immortal life again.. when some kind of things were impossible for you.. like loving a human. Now you'll be able to make your dreams come true" Gandalf spoke.  
  
"But I don't want to love a human, I want Zana.. and you're telling me that my life will change forever.. I can't forget all what I've lived! I don't want to forget! And as I'll always remember, I assure you I won't ever love anybody else again" Some of the persons exchanged mysterious looks , smiling.  
  
"Then.." Galadriel took his hand. "You want to remember"  
  
"Yes.. although I know it will destroy my life.. far away from Zana, I will keep her memory forever" He made a short pause. "Where will you send me? Troy? England? Germany, with Haldir?" He froze when he thought about this, and when nobody replied him.  
  
"Are you sure you want things like this? You want to remember?" Legolas nodded again. And he was sent home.  
  
------------------- ----------------------- -------------------- -------- ------------------  
  
The alarm clock went off and I opened my eyes, my heart beating so fast. I sat down on my bed. The sun was rising, I could feel it through the curtains. I was in my bedroom, my usual bedroom. I could hear my mother in the kitchen. But what had just happened? The sight of Legolas running, Romih disappearing behind the icy wall.. that couldn't be a dream.. I looked around, nothing was changed. I walked towards the kitchen, where I found my usual breakfast, my usual mother and my usual routine.  
  
"You slept a lot, Zana.. are you feeling OK?" My mother asked, with worried voice. I just nodded, taking the newspaper. The usual newspaper.  
  
"Which day is today?" I asked her, and she stared at me with curiosity.  
  
"What do you mean? Are you sure you're OK?"  
  
"Please, just reply me.." She sighed.  
  
"Saturday, 25th June, 2004" She left the room, worried. June.. nothing had changed.. on 24th I had been at faculty.. time didn't pass.. then.. was it a dream? But it was impossible.  
  
I took a shower, dressed and went to the street, the usual street. I looked for a difference, something that showed me that Gandalf's and Galadriel's words were real.. that I would return to my time, once the mission was over, but things would be a lot different.. but it seemed to be the same.. a deep sorrow invaded my heart and there, in the middle of the street, I began to cry.  
  
That night I watched TV, like every night. My parents and sister tried to find out what was wrong with me, but I ignored them. The pain was too big. People had lied to me.. I wasn't able to stay in Middle Earth, I even didn't have the choice to choose.. I was forced to come back, I couldn't say goodbye to anybody, that was so unfair that anger invaded me.  
  
My sister changed from channel on TV. A stupid program about famous people.. great.. talking about their private lives, who are dating now, what kind of car will they buy.. I hated the world where I lived, I hated it without the persons I had loved. If I was sane and everything was real.. but right now in that moment, doubts came tome. Maybe I was crazy after all.  
  
I stood up to go to bed when something on TV called my attention, but I didn't arrive on time to hear the name of the person they were talking about, the journalist was just saying ".. has announced he will retire from the Hollywood world to start a normal life and relax, after the nervous breakdown he suffered last night, after he woke up in the Plaza Hotel in New York.." Well, at least I wasn't the only person in the world who was suffering from nerves. Whoever he was that actor, he seemed to be having a bad time too. Anyway.. who cared about famous people? When I stepped into my bed, I let my tears fall again. I would never be happy for the rest of my life.  
  
( To be continued.. tomorrow : ) ) 


	53. Remember me

** Disclaimer: I only own Zana *********** **************  
  
So I suppose this is the end : ) I want to say thank you very much to all the people who were with me, reading the story while I was writing it.. if it wasn't for all of you, I would never had ended it.. the truth is that it will be strange to stop getting reviews from you, I'll miss you all! But all stories have an end, and I wanted to make Zana's future clear , finally : ) And Legolas needed a life too.. so I hope nobody will get too sad! I know that some of you even cried : ) Anyway.. I plan to write more fics so I really hope you will all remember about me! Thank you very much.  
  
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One month had passed.. one month full of sadness and surprises. Sure my life had changed.. in fact, I had lost all my friends, who had been replaced by new ones. I had to act as if I loved them, when the only thing I had in mind was the thought of the lost people. Getting adapted was hard.. walking in the street, greeting people I had never met before, sharing secrets with girls I had never talked to.. I was about to explode. Every night I dreamt of Legolas .. only of him. I knew that Haldir had found his place, as well as Galadriel, Gimli and Romih.. but Legolas was lost.. everything had happened so fast that I didn't know if he had returned to Middle Earth, or if he belonged to another time, to another century, very far away from me.  
  
I crossed the street. The sun was shinning but I felt as if it was raining. My mother used to say that I looked like a person without soul, or without life inside. And maybe it was true. I went on existing, but I had lost happiness.  
  
"Zana?" I heard a voice behind me. Of course, another unknown person, and I had to act as if I knew him. "I've been calling you, didn't you get my messages?" A red haired girl smiled, hugging me. "I'm so happy for you, you're so lucky!"  
  
"Why?" I looked at her, amazed. She blinked.  
  
"Zana, are you stupid? Come on, you got it! The job!" I tried not to look too lost.  
  
"Oh, that job.." I lied, hoping that she would go on talking. She jumped.  
  
"Los Angeles, you'll go to Los Angeles!!"  
  
"Yes.." I felt my heart beating.. what was she talking about? She took my arm and walked with me until my house.  
  
"What did your parents say?" She asked, waiting for a quick answer. I doubted what to say.  
  
"Well.. they're happy, of course.." She opened her green eyes in surprise.  
  
"Really? " And she was quiet. She didn't tell more, she didn't explain anything about job. She just looked puzzled. "OK, well, I must leave.. have a good journey then.." She hugged me again, and left.  
  
Once at home, I saw the letter. Over the desk in my room. A big brown envelope with my name written in capitols. I opened it with trembling fingers, sitting on my bed. "Dear Zana, we're glad to tell you that you have been selected to join us next month, for twenty days, with all expenses covered, taking care of famous people's children while they attend important events. As a baby- sitter, we were strict choosing your psychological tests, and we discovered you were the best choice among all the girls who applied for it. Don't forget the three conditions you already know: you won't meet their parents, they're actors and actresses who like privacy, so you'll develop your activity in a special room of houses where events will take place. Second, you won't spread rumours or any information you'll get here, else, you'll be fired. And third, you'll attend an event, carrying children, if parents wanted so. You'll sit on a special stage with bodyguards. Have a good time and contact us in case of doubts."  
  
I left the paper on my bed. Baby- sitter? Me? How was that possible? And when did I apply for that? In Los Angeles? I covered my face with my hands and took a deep breath. Great, that was exactly what I needed. But then, an idea came to my mind. Actors. I would see actors.. what if one of them was.. no, that wouldn't be possible. Sure Legolas was sent back to Middle Earth.. and anyway, how could an actor be with me? No, that would never be possible.. they had all girls in the world to choose. And well, in the past month, I didn't get any news from anybody know, so that could mean that I was alone in this century. Completely alone. Going to Los Angeles.  
  
------------- --------------- ------------------- ------------------- -- ------------------  
  
The plane landed in the huge airport, and I looked around. I had to find the man who was waiting for me, to drive me to the house where I would live. I walked in the crowd, with the heavy suitcases, looking in the distance. A woman in front of me was carrying a magazine, and I was able to see the front page.. that face looked familiar to me... who was..? Before I could check it, I felt a hand in my shoulder.  
  
"Zana?" I nodded, and the man took my suitcases. "I'm Max and I'm in charge of driving you to the block. Your apartment is ready. Tomorrow at 7 am a car will pick you up for the first job. Children of Mrs. Griffith and Mr. Banderas. " I couldn't believe that. It was unreal.  
  
We crossed the city and I admired the exotic landscape, the famous streets and the huge beaches. I couldn't help feeling better, my life had turned into an exciting adventure and I felt as if something nice was expecting for me. And at the same time, I felt so scared. We stopped in front of the block, painted in light yellow. People skating, walking in swimsuit.. the sea was there, few metres away from the main door. Max gave me the keys and wished me good luck.  
  
From my balcony I could see the beach, and the soft breeze brought me a new smell, so different from my country. The apartment was so nice, small but with beautiful decoration. The bedroom, the kitchen and the living room were all the same room, and the small toilet was painted in light blue. I liked the place. Sitting on a chair, I picked up the phone. It was about time to call my parents. But as soon as I did it, someone knocked on my door. I walked towards the entry, and opened slowly.  
  
"Miss Zana, this is a letter from the manager of the company, with the schedule for next week." I almost fainted when I saw who was the boy bringing it.  
  
"Amazing.." He looked at me surprised when I said this.  
  
"Sorry?" He asked, worried. I shook my head.  
  
"Once I met someone exactly like you.. but I'm already used to those kind of surprises in my life.." I smiled and closed the door, leaving the clone of Fern out there.  
  
--------------- -------------------- ------------------ ----------------- --  
  
After a sleepless night, morning came and I took a shower, trying to wake up completely. I could feel nerves in my stomach, afraid of not being able to act properly in front of famous people. While I was drying my hair I remembered the first condition of contract: I would never meet parents. Somehow I felt more relaxed, and put the light blue dress with match shoes. Nothing was mine, but the company had given me a full wardrobe so that I would be dressed for the occasion.  
  
The car was already waiting for me, Max had the radio on, and Nelly Furtado with "I'm like a bird" was the background music. What a proper song. I realised it was so difficult to get a conversation from him, so I decided to shut up and look at the sea while he drove by the beach for some minutes.  
  
"It's here" He said, parking in front of a luxurious building. Many expensive cars were parked as well, and the crowd of people was amazing. Journalists, photographers.. as soon as I put my feet out of the car, a wardrobe- man, probably a bodyguard, took my arm and led me to the back door, where more of them were waiting.  
  
"Is this the girl?" One of them asked, looking at me.  
  
"She's Miss Zana, the baby-sitter" At those words, he let me pass and I came in the hall. A woman with glasses and a suit walked towards me, and we shook hands.  
  
"I'm a friend of Mrs. Griffith and I'll be giving you the instructions. Today an event will take place" She led me through the hall, I was amazed with the sight of the expensive crystal lamps red carpets. "Here" She showed me the way, and we went on waling." You will sit with the children in the first line of the theatre, and when they will give the prizes, cameras will be checking them. You won't do anything, can you hear me?Anything. I don't want you to appear in all American shows as the possible new girlfriend of Mr. Banderas. Your mission is to sit and take care of them, nothing else. Their parents will be in the other side of the saloon" She gave me a strict look. "No tricks, Zana" She pointed at me, as she brought the small children, who looked at me scared. We came inside the theatre, with the rest of people. Many famous faces were there, and I felt lost, completely lost. I didn't belong to that world. That wasn't my place.  
  
The show began and I looked at people around me. Many other children with baby- sitters, we all sat in the corner where nobody could see us. All actors and actresses dressed like in the Oscar's party. Lights went on and the ceremony of awards began. The two children fell completely asleep.  
  
Two hours after, the same woman came running and whispered something in my ear, then left. We had to go out and place ourselves outside, to say goodbye to all celebrities. They would be greeting fans and press, so we would stay in a safe place. Sun was shining in the sky, and I felt dizzy. It was so hot. Too hot. The crowd of fans over us, and the first actors came outside. It was then when I felt a pair of brown eyes staring at me, people stopped talking, silence came. The light of the sun didn't let me see clearly, it blinded me, but rumours started.  
  
"What happens to him?"  
  
"It seems he saw a ghost"  
  
Then, journalists took cameras and started shooting. I felt a hand on my shoulder. The horrible angry woman stared at me.  
  
"Do you know him?" His voice was sharp. "He's staring at you as if you were a phantom, don't you see that people are disturbing children? You will pay for this" The tone of her voice told me that I was fired. I was about to reply when my eyes finally recuperated and saw what was going on. There, standing under the stage, over the red carpet, a young man with brown curly hair was staring at me, shocked. His mouth opened, his eyes widened, and his couple, a blonde girl, pushing him, angry.  
  
"What's wrong with you, Orlando?" She shouted, and looked at me.  
  
"Nothing, it's only that.. I remembered something.." He went on walking, his eyes still on me. And I felt tears in my eyes. I perfectly knew who was him. Whose soul was inside him. When he disappeared in the distance, I wanted to die. He was Legolas. In the end, he was destined to live in the same time as me. But as the actor he had always been before my journey to Middle Earth, which meant I would never be with him, and he would never want to be with me.  
  
I went downstairs, crying. The pain was too big.. why, among all professions in the world, after all the changes in everybody's life.. the only life that remained the same was his life? Why? That was so unfair.. too difficult to believe. All hope was lost, and I couldn't do anything. I already knew that all what I had before was just a dream, and that Legolas was living in my world but out of my sight. The last words I heard in that theatre were "you're fired".  
  
Once in my apartment, I removed make up and put a comfortable dress. Drying my tears, I packed my things. In one day I would leave again, go back home, to the hopeless city where I lived, with the strange people again. That journey, that one day job, were an answer for my questions.. yes, Legolas was destined to live in my time. But he still was the same famous actor he had always been. I threw myself on the bed. My life was a mess. I wished I had never travelled to Middle Earth, because after experiencing that, I knew I would never be happy again in my whole life.  
  
----------------------- ---------------------- ------------------------- ---------------------  
  
"You're telling me that the only plane I can take is this one? But this means being in London airport six hours!" I shouted at the woman in the airport, tired of everything. There weren't direct flights, I would have to make a long stop in London. Great. Exactly what I needed.  
  
"I'm sorry, Miss.. this is all what I can do for you" She apologised.  
  
"It's OK, it's OK.. give me this ticket then" I murmured, giving her the money. Then , I sat on a bank, in front of the huge window. I had one hour left, so I decided to try to relax. Looking in the distance, I saw a coffee shop where they sold magazines. I walked there and picked up one that talked about the ceremony, and I paid it. More and more pictures of celebrities.. and then.. he was there, in the main page. His scared face, surprised.. looking in the distance.. the article said "Orlando's shock.. was the heat? Or maybe a crazy fan?" Of course, they made fun of him. I touched the paper, and felt tears again. My Legolas.. he was there.. and I couldn't have him.  
  
"Last call for London passengers, please go to gate 13"  
  
Thirteen. It seemed that I only got bad signs everywhere. I wasn't superstitious, but after all the events, what could I expect? I waited on the queue, lost in my thoughts. It would be a long flight. The plane was crowded, and I put myself comfortable between an old woman and a small girl. A long journey indeed.  
  
---------------- -------------------- -------------------- -------------- --------- ------------  
  
Welcome to London airport, said the poster. Heathrow airport. And six hours waiting for me. I followed the crowd and picked up my suitcase. I didn't realise someone was by my side, talking in the phone. Her voice sounded so familiar to me, and when I turned around to meet her, I dropped my bag. Galadriel. She was there. I noticed surprise on her eyes too, and then she smiled.  
  
"We came in the same plane.. but we weren't alone.." There was mystery in her voice.  
  
"What?"  
  
"We can't talk, we have to let things run.." And she left. I couldn't believe that. She left and I was alone again. Why all things were like this? Why only bad things happened? Why? I wanted to run and disappear. As soon as I started walking, I froze and stopped again. A small man looking at me with a kind smile.  
  
"Nice to meet you finally.." Gimli greeted me, and then, left running. What was happening there? What were they doing? I tried to follow him, but he had already disappeared. Like Galadriel.  
  
I spent the following two hours thinking about what had happened, about how that short meeting with two of my friends had returned hope to me. And how, all from the sudden, the hope was gone again. The airport was crowded, it was impossible to look for a person there. I knew that even if I tried, they would make all possible things to avoid me, but.. why? Galadriel had said "let things run".. which things?  
  
But I didn't want to think. I took my bag, my suitcase and started to walk, without direction, staring at the ground. I had to accept it, I wouldn't be happy any more, and I had to live with this. After some metres, I realised I had forgotten to close my small bag, and it was too late, all the content fell on the ground. I was almost unable to keep tears inside, and kneeling on the ground, I started picking up things.  
  
"Do you need help?" A soft voice asked, and I almost fainted. When I looked up, he was there. He was there! Legolas.. or Orlando. He kneeled beside me, smiling, probably, at my surprised face. I felt the blush and I dropped the wallet.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked, almost without being able to speak. He looked at me with his great brown eyes.  
  
"I'm English" His voice was ironical. Was he joking? Did he recognize me?  
  
"Do you know who I am?" I asked, and he stared at me. I felt disappointed when he didn't reply. "I mean...do you remember.. meeting me before?" I wished with all my heart that he remembered.. but of course, how could he ? He was a star, a famous boy, with a great life. Some seconds passed, and we finally packed everything. Standing up, he gave me his hand to help me. "Thanks" I murmured. "I.. I have to take a plane.." I started walking. It was too hard to admit that he didn't remember me.. I loved him so much, and he was a new person.  
  
"Why?" I heard his voice three or four metres away from me. I turned around, puzzled. He was standing there, with his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
"What?" I asked, confused.  
  
"I said: why do you have to take a plane?"  
  
"Are you joking?" I laughed, sadly. "You're making fun of me, right? Like two days ago in the ceremony.. " I sighed. "You even don't know who I am.. why are you interested on my flight?" I went on walking, and this time I felt his hands holding my arms and forcing me to turn around. He was smiling with the nicest smile I had ever seen before.  
  
"Because once I decided not to forget" His whisper ran across my head, and in no time I felt his lips on mines. He was Legolas, he remembered me. I hugged him strongly. When he looked at me again, I was completely shocked. "I decided not to forget about you, Zana.. and once I promised I would always be with you. I'm Legolas, and an elf always keeps his promises.. well, or an actor" We both smiled and kissed. Forever.  
  
THE END  
  
---------------------- ------------------------ -------------------------- 


	54. Epilogue

My mailbox was full of letters asking me to write an epilogue.. or a kind of alternative ending.. well, so here I am : ) I want to thank again all people who supported me with this story. When I'll finish exams, I'll try to fix all grammar errors.. some of you offered me help with this, but I don't remember who.. well, if you still want to help me, please tell me. Thank you!  
  
Disclaimer: I only own Zana.  
  
********* ************** *********** **************** *****  
  
I smiled, remembering those days.. the sun was shinning up in the sky, as I was laying in the sand. The soft sea breeze brought me memories from the journey. Five years had passed and my life was still surprising me. Every day I discovered a new change, a new person, but I already got used to it. Sooner or later, the unknown friends turned into my family, the only ones I had, since I moved to London.  
  
"Why are you smiling?" I heard a voice, and I opened my eyes. My husband was there. It was strange but I only was able to call him Legolas, in spite of his new name in that century. He would always be Legolas for me.  
  
"I was remembering" He sat next to me, his dark eyes staring in the distance.  
  
"I also can't forget.. we lived big changes.. although it seems it was centuries ago, and only five years passed.." For a while, his face was nostalgic, but then looked at me again and a smile was drawn on his lips. "I can't believe things would end like this.. the first day I saw you in the forest I couldn't imagine how would things turn out.. who would have told us.."  
  
"I wonder what happened to the rest of them.." Silence came. We didn't get any news in those years, any sign. Legolas and I lived apart, in a hidden nice house in London, away from centre. He was already used to stop in the street when his fans attacked him.. but since he had retired from that world, our life was a lot more calmed. It was amazing how people forgot.  
  
"I sometimes wonder what happened in Middle Earth after we left.."  
  
"You miss your home?" I was a bit afraid to ask.. I suspected, since the first day of our new life together, that I wouldn't be able to make Legolas completely happy. He had been an elf, turned into a human.. sure he felt worse with his new condition.. and even more, he was away from his paradise world. He looked at me again.  
  
"You know that Destiny wanted this, Zana. I wasn't destined to return, I was destined to be here with you" He took my hand.  
  
"You didn't reply me.." I tried to smile, and he avoided my gaze. A feeling of fear came to my head. He was doubting.  
  
"You know I'm so happy with you, Zana"  
  
"But?" I asked, more and more afraid.  
  
"Sometimes I think we would be happier in Middle Earth.. things were better there..."  
  
"In Middle Earth? Where I was a human and you were an elf? Where our love was impossible?" I felt the tears coming, and I stood up.  
  
"Zana.. please, wait" He said, as I walked towards the water. The small waves led me inside, and I dived deep inside. The blue ocean brought me a moment of peace. When the oxygen in my lungs was almost over, I searched for the surface. The sun was hidden behind a cloud. I swam slowly, relaxing with the movement of the sea. And I closed my eyes, imagining how would things be far away, in the past Middle Earth. With Haldir, with Gimli.. with everybody. Even Romih.  
  
I looked in the distance. Legolas was sitting in the same place, looking at me.. although distance was too big to be able to see perfectly. I loved him so much. But I knew I couldn't make him happy. I left the water wishing there was a way to fix things even more, but I knew there wasn't anything.  
  
"Will you listen to me now?" He asked softly, as I laid down next to him. I nodded. "Zana.. I need time to adapt. I've been an elf for two thousand years, you can't ask me to change so fast because I'm not able. The important thing is that I'm here with you.."  
  
"I know, I know" I replied, hugging him. "I'm sorry" After a moment of silence, he moved away, a shocked gaze in his face. "What' wrong?" I asked, worried. He pointed at the group next to us. I looked back, and held my breath. Galadriel. What was she doing there, in those islands?  
  
"She saw us.. "Legolas said, and I had a strange feeling that something was going wrong.  
  
"This is a big coincidence.." I murmured.  
  
"It's not a coincidence" He replied. "She's coming here" We saw her shape walking, and a bright smile on her face.  
  
"Hello.. I think you need me again." Her blue eyes searched the horizon. I didn't like the look in Legolas eyes. Hope. He had hope in his eyes. Galadriel sat with us. "It's about time to take the last decision. I've been waiting some time before telling you, because I wanted to give you a chance, Legolas"  
  
"A chance for what?" I asked, scared. Galadriel sighed.  
  
"Zana, he's an elf.. his soul belongs to an elf.. he chose to be a human just to be with you, but.."  
  
"But?" I was about to die.  
  
"His heart chose, but his nature wants to come back. He's not made for this world.." I stood up, and looked at them. Legolas stood up with me and took my hand.  
  
"Don't worry, Zana, I won't go anywhere. I already decided and I'll get used. I promised I would always be with you" He smiled, and put his arm around my shoulders. But Galadriel shook her head.  
  
"Do you know what would happen if he chose to stay here again?"  
  
"What do you mean? He has another chance to choose?" My question was more a statement. Galadriel nodded again.  
  
"If he didn't make the right decision, he would have to fix his past.. as you fixed yours.."  
  
"But if we were destined to be together, if my past is fixed because I was destined to be with him.. why is he not destined as well?"  
  
"He is, Zana.. but not in this time"  
  
"You're crazy!! "I shouted, and some people looked at us. "How can we be destined to be together, if we can't be together?"  
  
"Who said you can't?" She asked, mysteriously.  
  
"No, you won't spoil my life, Galadriel" I said, with anger. Legolas took my hand.  
  
"Zana, wait and listen to her.. please" His dark eyes shone with a strange light.  
  
"My friends.. I've come here because as a soul-elf, I'm connected to the rest of elves.. I knew something was wrong with Legolas, and this is why I came here. We must solve this problem, and we'll do it. I've discovered something."  
  
"What?" We both asked, at the same time.  
  
"After all what you lived.. I suppose you already believe in reincarnation, right?" We nodded. "Well.. so you both are destined to be together, but.. not in this life"  
  
"What?" The question again. My heart stopped, I couldn't breath. What was she saying?  
  
"Legolas.. you must come back to Middle earth, as well as me. About you, Zana.. you'll join us in Middle earth.. but first you have to finish your life here. You still have to live a bit more . Once you'll die, we'll be waiting for you. "  
  
"I won't leave her here!" Shouted Legolas, but Galadriel looked at him sadly.  
  
"We both know you must come with me, and she must wait.. this is the only solution for your impossible love. You'll be together, but not now"  
  
I felt as if someone had stolen all my life from me. After what I lived, after all what had changed.. I had to be alone again. It was too horrible to be real. Too horrible to wish to be alive. But something told me that things had to be like that. Tears were falling from my face, and Galadriel took my hand.  
  
"I know you're brave enough to do this, Zana. And Legolas will be brave enough to leave as well. You'll stay in his house and you'll go on with your life. And we'll meet in no time" She smiled, and an idea crossed my mind. But she read it. "Don't try to kill yourself or else you'll never meet him" She warned. I nodded. Then, looked at him.  
  
"So.. you leave me.." He nodded slowly, avoiding my gaze.  
  
"I somehow knew this wasn't the definitive life. In the right one, we both would be happy. And I wasn't.. and I'm sure you weren't" I had to admit he was right. Our life in London was empty, we spent most of time escaping from fans, from press.. that wasn't life, and even I missed Middle Earth.  
  
"If things hadn't gone so fast.. I wished I had some more days to say good bye.. "He touched my face as I spoke, and then kissed me. The last kiss.  
  
----------------- ---------------------------- ----------------------- -- ----------------------  
  
From New York Times: "Tragic accident: a famous actor and an actress died in an accident. It took place when they both flew in a small airplane. Forensics took their bodies to the morgue, where they will be analysed before the funeral. Hollywood decides so dedicate the whole month to them, making a ceremony in their honour. The whole world cries the loss"  
  
---------------- -------------------- ----------------- ----------------- --- ----------------  
  
"She lived alone in the old house" The nurse commented, as the doctor looked at the old woman laying in the hospital bed. Her white hair was carefully tied and her eyes were closed. "A neighbour heard her shouts, when he arrived, she had already fainted.."  
  
"She's older than ninety years.. who is she? Does she have any identity card?" He asked, looking around. Another doctor picked up her wallet.  
  
"Zana Lofish, ninety-eight years old.. single.. she has more pictures here.. there she is.." His co-workers checked the photos, when one of them sighed.  
  
"She's the widow of that famous actor who died in the plane accident.." they looked at each others, with questioning gazes.  
  
"I don't remember.."  
  
"We were born later, Richard, you obviously can't remember. My grandmother told me" The doctor replied. "It's a shame.. a woman who lived alone all her life, apart from the world.. people say that she never went out from home.."  
  
"Those are only rumours.." The nurse checked her. "How is she, doctor?"  
  
"She still breathes.. but she's too weak.. I'm afraid we can't help her any more"  
  
"She's trying to say something.. wait.." They listened in silence. The woman spoke.  
  
"I'm going there, please, wait for me, my love.." And with this, her heart stopped beating.  
  
"Time of death, four pm"  
  
----------------- ------------------- ------------------ ---------------- -- -----------  
  
A strong light made me wake up. I felt the sun in my face. That couldn't be true. Few moments ago, I was ninety-eight. Now my hands looked young again, and I was wearing a strange long dress. And that place.. I recognised that place. The forest where I had first met him.. a strong pain in my chest, too painful memories. Sure I was still laying in the hospital bed and that was just a wonderful dream.  
  
I walked some steps, amazed because I felt lighter. And I waited. With the hope that it was real, and with the hope that maybe someday, I would be able to look at his pictures again, or that I would be able to listen to our songs without crying the whole night. My life had been so painful that death was the best thing that could happen to me. I had lived locked for the memories, waiting for the definitive meeting. And seventy years had to pass. Seventy horrible years.  
  
A soft breeze came, and I walked inside the forest. I had the feeling that I knew the way, that I knew where I was walking to. I could hear the trees speaking between them, I could understand the bird's singing.. I felt the Nature. I was able to see in the distance, so far away. Sure, it was just a dream.  
  
I stopped when a small lake appeared in front of me. Rounded by high trees, the green water was shinning in the sun. Too nice to be real. I sat on a rock, watching the surface, and I felt peace. Whatever it was, wherever I was, I was in peace. For the first time in seventy years.  
  
"You're late" I heard a voice behind me. I couldn't believe that. I stood up slowly, hoping it was real. And he was there, smiling. His usual blue eyes, his long blonde hair. He was Legolas, my Legolas. I don't know how it happened exactly, but I found myself wrapping him with my arms as he kissed me. Minutes passed, and time stopped. He was there, all what I wanted. I was too happy to cry.  
  
"Legolas, is this the end? The real end, the real destiny for both of us?" When I saw his blue eyes shinning with happiness, I knew it was real. I knew he was real.  
  
"Come with me. Galadriel and the rest of elves are waiting" He took my hand, and I followed him. Wind became stronger and hair disturbed me. When I put part of it behind my ear, I felt something new. My ears. I had pointy ears. I stopped, and Legolas looked at me with a smile. "Now our love is possible, Zana."  
  
"I'm an elf?" I asked, astonished.  
  
"You're my elf, my future Queen of Mirkwood" He kissed me again. Who would have told me seventy years ago? 


End file.
